Clooney Brush-O-Matic 5000!

Greetings, Sean Daly fans! He totally bailed on you guys. I'm Stephanie, and I'll attempt to fill in while he gorges on crustaceans and murky Pilsner in a seedy Maryland pub.  You miss him, true, but don't be shy with comments. I'm nice!

Vitals: I'm a blogger at the Snack Pack. I write for the St. Pete Times. I have a great shoe collection. And most importantly, I'm a chick who plans to finally get some pics of dudes on this horndoggley blog!

But to ease in, we'll start with Sean's fave, Ashley Tisdale. Her mug graces this money pit product: TOOTH TUNES - the toothbrush that sings for two minutes while you scrub your nasty yellows. Listen. I am NOT-YOUR-FRIEND in the morning. I need gentleness. Low lighting.  I need, only briefly... adult contemporary. In the arms of the angel. Far away from here.

Not, "SHALALALALA DON'T STOP NOW, DON'T TRY TO HIDE IT HOW, YOU WANT TO KISS THE GIRL."  No, Ash. I'm not making out with anyone at 0-dark-thirty. I need Diet Coke first, and something chocolate. Then we can talk.

Other Tooth Tunes varieties:

Jesse McCartney - Beautiful Soul (Because your face looks fug without makeup)
Beach Boys - Fun Fun Fun (WHATEVER)
Destiny's Child - Survivor (Of chronic tooth decay, after you quit brushing altogether)
Vanessa Hudgens - Come Back to Me (In about three hours when the sun is up)
Corbin Bleu - Push it to the Limit (Or heave it off the balcony in a fit of rage)
KISS - Rock and Roll All Night (Instead of brushing and going to bed. Dance on bars! Kiss the girl!)

NO. I want... I want George Clooney in my toothbrush, whispering sweet nothings: "Morning, Steph. You look radiant. I really think that blemish went down overnight. You may not need the concealer today. Don't brush your hair. Just tousle it a little. You need to love YOU, flaws and all. I do. Now go make it a Clooney kinda day! Kisses, babe. Talk at PJ time!"

That, I would buy.

Comments

[Sherrie]

I am a bit embarrassed to say that I recently purchased the Village People "YMCA" Tooth Tunes toothbrush for my 11 year old son. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now I'm wondering about the long term effects on his psyche of hearing The Village People every morning and evening. We'll see.
As for the Clooney brush-o-matic- set up a business plan on that product, I'm all over it!

[Stephanie Hayes]

Yeah, you know, this product is designed for kiddies, so I think they get a pass. But you also get a pass if you slink into the bathroom in the dark of night and crush it into a million pieces after one maddening week!

[Vanessa]

I really don't think I could handle KISS that early in the morning, unless I haven't gone to sleep yet. Especially on hangover days, the last thing you'd want to be reminded of was the neverending party coming out of your toothbrush.

[jane]

A Clooney Brush-o-matic? I'm in for at least a case of them.

[sparky]

Clooney in your tooth brush? TOO MANY JOKES!!! CAN'T DO IT!!! MUST KEEP IT CLEAN FOR THE KIDDIES!!!

SD, come back quick.

The girls are starting to put drapes and frilly things in the club house!

[Stephanie Hayes]

Don't worry, Sparky. I'll work in some scintillating female bits this week, just for you! Gotta keep the cosmos in balance.

[erin]

Yes! Finally something that's not about how hot the Disney tweeny-boppers are! :)
I think that there's nothing sexier than a British accent, so I'm voting for a Clive Owen toothbrush.

[Marissa]

While we're discussing who we'd like in our mouths ::cough:: for tooth brushing pleasure, I have to throw in my 2cents (because I always do even if it's late in the game). I'd love to have the voice of Colin Firth whispering sweet nothings into my pie hole. I'd probably brush a lot longer and he could convince me to floss daily (not only after eating a pulled pork sammich).

[Al]

I'd like a Sean Connery toothbrush.....

It could say at the end, "Oh, I must be dreaming....." like in Goldfinger.

It also could start off with, "Do you expect me to brush, Goldfingah?"

[Carla (Nashville Tn)]

Uh hem.... Marissa.... I'm not even going to touch the first line you wrote!

Not suckering me (no pun intended, okay, well maybe it was!) into that one!! :)

[Marissa]

Huh? what did I say? lol and Sean's not around to scold me!

[Carla (Nashville Tn)]

Marissa... he'd probably have to wait for his "We will Rock You" toothbrush to finish before he could scold anyone! :)

[Marissa]

I'm thinking Sean has the Ashley toothbrush and has had to replace the batteries in it already..but his teeth are incredibly sparkling!

[Stephanie Hayes]

Yeah, Marissa! Getting saucy with it. I LOVE it.

[Carla]

See Sean.. in your absence I was trying to defend you and give you the benifit of doubt with your choice of musical toothbrushes. Alas, I think Marissa is probably right, you DO have the Ashley tootbrush, don't you??

[Marissa]

yeah, I'm all about the sauce, Stephanie. This is kind of fun. It's nice that you respond to comments. WOOT! lol

[Nicole]

George Clooney toothbrush? I would have one for everyday. My dentist would be proud. It'd be my little secret.

There should be a list of possible talking toothbrushes for adults.

-Clooney
-Connery
-Firth

...anyone else?

[Steve Spears]

I'm thinking I'd like Sheena Easton's "For Your Eyes Only" each morning and night (and after meals.)

But Al's "Goldfinga" line nearly made me gurgle and spit.

[Forever Fiancee]

Finally! Thank you, Stephanie, for infusing a little estrogen into this testosterone-laden blog. If I had to see Sean blog about one more female he lusts after I was going to get sick! It messes with a girl's psyche!

I think for my toothbrush I'd want a whole Ocean's 11 thing - Clooney, Pitt, Damon, Cheadle, Garcia. That's right, Sean Daly. Take that!

[Al]

Well Steve, glad to entertain you. But your Sheena Easton idea takes the cake.

Perhaps some Carly Simon? "Noooobody does it betterrr, baby you're the best....." That would sound pretty sweet and a bit risque in the wee morning hours.

[Stephanie Hayes]

Nice one, FF. I like the Oceans idea, because you could set it to random, and get a different fun beefcake surprise each morning. Like an iPod, or a cake with money baked inside!

[Marissa]

Do you think the Ocean's 11 packaging would read, "Wake up to 11 different men..each morning a surprise" Yeah, I've crossed over to the raunchy side of life.

[Carla]

FF.. What an idea!!! But I'm telling you, I'd fight tooth (ha! no pun intended) and nail for all of the Andy Garcia toothbrushes!! You guys can have the rest!