No, No, Nose Job! The Career Killer
According to USA Today, my future third ex-wife Ashley Tisdale, 22, has gotten a nose job. This saddens me a great deal. My #1 tween-pop obsession, aka Sharpay in High School Musical, is pulling the whole "deviated septum" medical necessity nonsense.
"The older I got, the worse it got," she said. "I didn't do this because I believe in plastic surgery. I did this to help my health."
I'm not buying it.
The thing I like about Ashley is that her flaws are so damn adorable. The pointy schnoz, the warbly singing voice, the bad acting. The maniacal Disney machine has let her be a bit of a dork -- albeit a terribly cute dork. But now, with the new honker, she's Ashlee Simpson, she's Jennifer Grey. If you're already an established star -- established on the quirks that made you, no less -- the new nose thing is a career-killer. You basically have a new, less-interesting face than the one people fell in love with.
Wow, I've obviously put way too much thought into this.
Sean Daly is the pop music critic for the St. Petersburg Times. His CD collection -- from Journey to Dylan, Prince to U2, Public Enemy to Stan Getz -- is much bigger and better than yours.
THIS WEEK'S SHOW: Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers rock Tampa Bay. To hear the latest "Stuck in the 80s" episode now, 
Maybe Ashley T. has a dad, like Ashlee Simpson, who wants to transform her into her older, sexier (meh) sister. ha!
And your obsession with her sorta creeps me out. Don't give me things to be creeped out about Sean!
Posted by: Marissa | December 05, 2007 at 07:53 AM
Whoa, Marissa, THAT creeps you out? THAT?
And yet, your pal Steve Spears unloads an arsenal of creepy on a daily basis. He's like the Pied Piper of Perversity. Hell, I'm Mr. Rogers compared to my portly partner in podcasting. But nooooo, I'm the creepy one?
Posted by: Sean Daly | December 05, 2007 at 08:12 AM
Steve drools over Martha Quinn. You're hooked on a fresh out of tweens Disney princess. That's sorta on the creepy side of things. I'm 43. It's like me lusting Zac Efron.
I still adore you and I never said you were creepy. Just that particular item creeps me out.
Posted by: Marissa | December 05, 2007 at 08:20 AM
i made a typo! i'm only 42 lol
Posted by: Marissa | December 05, 2007 at 08:41 AM
I had deviated septum surgery. They don't touch the outside of your nose. I did wake up in the ER with a new toupee though...not sure how that happened.
Posted by: SoManyJs | December 05, 2007 at 08:53 AM
Interesting medial insight, SoManyJs. So if she comes out of this with a suddenly petite horn, we know the deviated septum nonsense was all a clever ruse. Good stuff.
Posted by: Sean Daly | December 05, 2007 at 09:13 AM
I wonder what health benefit will be used when she gets a breast enlargement. Deviated Sternum?
Posted by: Marissa | December 05, 2007 at 09:19 AM
"Portly Partner in Podcasting" Nice!
I guess they still teach alliteration in journalizm skool.
Posted by: Brad | December 05, 2007 at 12:06 PM
Tell ya what...I won't say your obsession with Miss Tisdale is creepy so long as you can support my (38 year old, married) desire to have either Corbin Bleu or Drake Bell (or both) under my Christmas tree. 'nuff said.
Posted by: Sherrie | December 05, 2007 at 12:48 PM
Wow, she's only 1 year younger than me?
Hmmmm.......
Posted by: Al | December 05, 2007 at 05:39 PM