"One Week in L.A. It'll All Change..."

Idol Night #4: Charleston, S.C.

That abstinence girl was so bone-chilling freaky, so truly awful, I'm going to urge my daughters to join a biker gang at age 14.

-- "Master Yoda, take you to Simon he will." Randy Stark + Crystal Ortiz = 3-state killing spree

-- For the first time this season, Paula looked a little..."off."

-- Love those Lampkins. Love 'em. Big, loud, proud. Ow!

-- She flies C-17s. She has stunning eyes. She's a fine singer. So why didn't Air Force Lyndsey make it to Hollywood? Because "Black Velvet" is the KISS OF DEATH! That song blows almost as bad as Spandau Ballet's "True."

-- And yes, if you're wondering, that whole baby thing at the end totally freaked me out. After all, this time next week...

Comments

[Carla]

I agree with you on Black Velvet! I cringe and then change the station whenever that song comes on the radio!!

[jane]

I was trying to decide if Randy & Crystal were more Natural Born Killers or True Romance. Jury's still out.

The Lampkins were awesome. He was like a big black Rip Taylor.

Abstinence Girl could be an extra on a True Love Waits episode of Friday Night Lights. Ai yi yi.

Did the dude with the 'Hey-Hey-Hey' afro who sang at the very beginning of the show get a golden ticket? CRS (Can't remember... stuff) has set in and I'm blanking.

[Carla]

Did anyone actually HEAR Aretha's vocals?? Two words.. Breast Reduction!!

[Sean Daly]

Oh, it's brutal. Thank god it's a '90s song, or Spears would torment me with it all the time.

[Ian from Down Under]

Hey Sean,
We just had the episode from Dallas. How many weeks does that mean we are behind. It's hard following the comments. Also, how do you spell your Mama No! girls name. Is it Trina or Treena?

[Sean Daly]

The Black Clay Aiken? In an ironic twist, he was sent home, but his 'fro advanced to the next round.

[Sherrie]

I really thought that the baby daddy at the end was gonna go to Hollywood- I really thought he sounded good so apparently I'm missing some critical skill in my music judging. (Or maybe I was blinded by his post-partum glow...who knows?)

[Sean Daly]

Hmm, wasn't Dallas the kickoff show? You're three behind I think. This one kinda blew, but for the most part, they've been relatively entertaining.

Trine. From Grorud, Norway.

[Sherrie]

I really thought that the baby daddy at the end was gonna go to Hollywood- I really thought he sounded good so apparently I'm missing some critical skill in my music judging. (Or maybe I was blinded by his post-partum glow...who knows?)

[jane]

HA! I'd forgotten that Fro Man was the "Black Clay Aiken." He was just channeling What's Happening Dwayne as far as I was concerned.

Perhaps his fro and Aretha's Chest could do a road tour. Both were outstanding.

[Sean Daly]

Baby Daddy's midrange was perfectly fine. But those high notes? Ack.

[jane]

Baby Daddy had waaaay too much vibrato for my semi-qualified ears. But he was gracious and adorable nonetheless.

[Sean Daly]

The FF was mystified that the newborn -- not to mention the mother -- were somehow up and mingling with Randy in no time at all. Who's their OBGYN?

[Sean Daly]

Okay, kids, go have fun with Spears. I gotta read bedtime stories. I'll check in later...

[Sherrie]

I'm afraid that "gracious and adorable" cover a multitude of musical sins for me- give me a sweet story, a genuinely nice person and a smattering of talent and I'm typing up the ticket to Hollywood. (Doesn't that about sum up Paula's judging style as well?)

[Ian from Down Under]

My Texan wife sat there shaking her head for the entire Dallas show. But hey, I still love her anyway. thanks for the Trine info S.D.

[jane]

You're right, Sherrie, regarding Miss Paula. I was slightly surprised that she didn't give a yes vote to Baby Daddy.

And speaking of Paula -- what was up with that Day Two outfit -- the dress was fine. But those arm warmer/detachable sleeve things... no. Just no.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Here is the difference between the Air Force and my Navy:

They have hot-rocket Lyndsey (she even has the pole-dancer bonus "y" in her name!)

We have Phil Stacey (who wouldn't be hot even if it was "Phyl Stacey")

And people wonder why the Air Force doesn't have any recruiting problems.

[Marissa]

I"m home and I have no idea what happened on AI. I just wanted to say hello to the walls and hear my own 'voice'.

[Shelly]

I liked the "black Clay Aiken" but I liked his 'fro better. And, I loved the Lampkins. I thought they could sing and they were fun. And, Carla's right...nobody HEARD Aretha's vocals they were too busy concentrating on that belt and her chest!

[Marissa]

Man, it appears I might have missed a fairly decent night of really bad auditions. I finally ran through the other comments ...and read Sean's post. Baby? Did someone else have a baby--ala Phil Stacey? Or did Simon actually help deliver one while a woman screeched out a Kelly Clarkson song?

[Spears]

Let me go on the record and I saw that I consider "Black Velvet" one of the most vile songs ever recorded. A hundred times worse than the second-place contender -- Cotton Eye Joe.

Even so, she should have advanced to Hollywood. I'm stunned.

Hey gang, next week I'll be handling the American Idol chatter here on Sean's blog while he's busy giving birth to Baby Drak. ("Uncle! Uncle!")

[Marissa]

Uh, Sean will be "coaching" or "waiting anxiously," but he won't birthin' no baby! If he's giving birth, I want video!

[jane]

That's one diverse Loathe List, Mr. Spears: "Black Velvet" AND "Cotton Eye Joe."

And next week should be fun -- I'll bring the Wild Turkey.

[Marissa]

I should mention for the heck of it that it's currently MINUS 2 degrees here. That is not including the wind chill factor. Just thought I'd share that with you Floridians.

[jane]

Yikes and BRRRRRR... I've never been in weather that cold in my life.

I'd send you some FL sunshine, but it's foggy and cloudy right now here.

[Jeff in Cuba]

It's 80 here, on the way to about 85 later today.

But it still can get chilly. Last night it got down to 70.

[Marissa]

Y'all are cruel. C R U E L!!!