The "I Voted" Playlist

After you vote on Tuesday, there’s an extremely good chance that, upon exiting the polling place, an 85-year-old woman will hand you an "I Voted" sticker.

You will no doubt smile politely at Madge and thumb this sticker onto your lapel. As Election Day goes on, you will receive an assortment of nods, winks and smirks from the equally bestickered. A few of these nodders and winkers will mean well. A few of these smirkers truly believe in freedom.

But most of them are Evil Sticker People. And I despise the Evil Sticker People.

Here’s the deal: I’m a proud voter. I firmly believe my vote counts. I cry at Patton.

But let it be known that I only wear the “I Voted” sticker out of self-preservation. I’ve been burned too many times, too many elections not to wear it. Surely you’ve been suckered into one of the Evil Sticker People’s nefarious interrogations:

“Did you vote today?”
“Yes, I voted.”
“No, you didn’t. Where’s your sticker?”
“Are you kidding me? I voted Democrat in Feather Sound. Do you know how risky that is? I almost got stabbed by a stay-at-home mom.”
“Then where’s your sticker?”
“I left it in the car.”
“You’re a big fat liar! You should be ashamed! People like you have no right complaining about our country if you don’t vote! Communist! Communist!”

I used to work with an Evil Sticker Person who, on election day, would comb the newsroom searching for the unstickered. If you weren’t wearing the “I Voted” sticker — or couldn’t produce dry-clean-only remnants of stickerlike adhesive on your button-down shirt — this guy would pounce. It didn’t matter if you voted or not. No sticker, no mercy. He cared more about the sticker than who actually won the election. He was a bully, and “I Voted” was his badge.

The sticker was originally meant to encourage civic pride, to show nonvoters that there was this faboo experience they were missing. But now the sticker is merely an instrument of intimidation. It reminds me of the final scene in 1978’s Invasion of the Body Snatchers, when creepy podperson Donald Sutherland unleashes an unholy moan at the last human. Ol’ Don might as well have been asking, “Where’s your sticker, dude?”

So the following musical playlist is dedicated to all of you who voted today — or, at the very least, to those of you who stood up to tyranny, to bullies, to the Evil Sticker People. Let freedom reign, peeps. Let freedom reign.

The Vote or Else Playlist
1. Think for Yourself, the Beatles
2. Get Up Stand Up, Bob Marley and the Wailers
3. Freedom of Choice, Devo
4. Don’t Tread on Me, Metallica
5. American Idiot, Green Day
6. Political World, Bob Dylan
7. If I Was President, Wyclef Jean
8. Fight the Power, Public Enemy
9. A Change Is Gonna Come, Sam Cooke
10. America the Beautiful, Ray Charles

Comments

[Marissa]

Dear Mr. President ~ Pink with Indigo Girls

[jane]

*gives Mr. Daly a standing ovation*

This. Is. Awesome. Casting one's vote is to me, one of the most important things one can do. I'm a firm believer in the "if you don't vote, you forfeit your right to complain about the government" concept.

And I totally understand what you go through, voting Democratic in Feather Sound. My only consolation is that on Tuesday, I'll be able to walk right up to the Democrat check-in in my precinct while the throngs of Republicans have to wait in line.

[Old Fat Bald Chick Magnet]

That's okay, Jane--we don't mind waiting in line to save the country.

By the way: "Political Science" by Randy Newman.

[Brad]

Sean,

First of all, great list. Of course as a hardcore Devo fan I love number 3.

Now - here's two words that will shut up all the Sticker Fascists: "Absentee Ballot."

[DG]

Our Country - John Mellencamp
Chimes Of Freedom - The Byrds
People Have the Power - Patti Smith
Looking East - Jackson Browne
Democracy - Leonard Cohen
American Tune - Paul Simon
Living In The Promiseland - Willie Nelson

[Jeff in Cuba]

I'm a Florida voter, and have already cast my absentee ballot.

So where's my sticker?!

By the way, the Cuban elections were held last week. All 614 Communist Party candidates were elected (of ciurse, they ran unopposed).

Our elections may be crazy, but they sure beat any alternative!

[Al]

Living in America - James Brown

[NickWithAnAxe]

You know who's worse than the sticker people, in my humble estimation?? The ash-Wednesday people. I get it. You went to church today. Kudos to you. Do you really need to walk around with those ashes on your forehead ALL DAY??
Anyway...add "Red White and Brainwashed" by Anti-Flag to the list.

[Sean Daly]

The blog is much better place with you here, NickWithAnAxe. Sure, it's also much more terrifying. But hey, I'm all in favor of controversy.

Rant on, my maniacal friend.

[jane]

I'm now proudly wearing my I Voted Sticker. And as predicted, there was no line to wait in for my team at the precinct. But still -- I love democracy in action.

[Tonianne]

Yes, Nick. We do.

And if it pisses you off, all the more reason to do so.

[Marissa]

Isn't it Catholic Law not to wash the ash mark off? They have to come off 'naturally' ... much like the 'I Voted' sticker.

[NickWithAnAxe]

"Naturally" Marissa?? Not what I was led to believe. Isn't the function of holy water to wash off those pesky ashes?? Well...that and dispatching vampires.