Hot New Feature: Hate Mail Friday!

Here's a angry reader upset by my lack of love for Herbie Hancock, my abundance of appreciation for Van Halen...and, um, something to do with Jennifer Aniston. The letter also ties me to George W. Bush, which is new.

I had intended to simply ignore your insane spiral into certain infamy after NOT ONE, BUT TWO back to back mini (all you're capable of?) diatribes about Mr. Hancock’s unforeseen Grammy win last week, but today was the last straw. You are stupid. Have we not suffered enough these last seven years at the hand of a small minded ignoramus…now to suffer the quintessential music nincompoop...enough should really be enough. But no, now I am led by you, music "critic", to believe that the VH grampies are perfect. You probably would have stayed with j/Anniston…she’s so girlnextdoorish. You could be replaced today by any one of my fine, clever sons. They each write with more skill…and actually understand Music. You have got to go…please, and real soon. Regards, just another spt reader trying to prevent the editorial death of a fine paper

Comments

[Jeff in Cuba]

SD,

'Insane", 'Stupid', 'Ignoramus', & 'Nincompoop'? It looks like somebody has a shiny new thesaurus!

For what it's worth, hate mail is coin of the realm in my line of work, and I'm subjected to (often public) comments on my ability (or lack thereof) to provide consistent power, flushing toilets, pothole-free roads, snow-free cable television, on-schedule busses, trash-free beaches; the list goes on and on.

It's taken me 20+ years to develop the rhino-like hide of a seasoned Public Works Officer, but I still remember what my first boss told me back in '86: "If you're not covered in mud, you're not in the game."

[Bassnote]

If I remember Sean, you didn't dis Herbie Hancock's album, but expressed extreme surprise at the win, and disdain for the cronyism of the recording academy. Who wasn't surprised he won? Let's be honest, an album full of songs from the 1970's reinterpreted, winning album of the year in 2008 is, to say the least, surprising. Ignore this one Sean, it's no great loss to lose this one as a reader.

[Brad]

Sean,

I'm guessing that most mail you get is like that. People generally don't take the time to tell you how wonderful you are or how much they enjoyed something you did/wrote - unless they answer to the name "Mom." I know that's how it is as an engineer.

Keep printing the gems, we can all laugh together. Even if I am on the s___ list...

Oh - you were right about Mr. Hancock.

[NickWithAnAxe]

My favorite part is this:

"You probably would have stayed with j/Anniston…she’s so girlnextdoorish."

Why?? Because I just can't wrap my head around the relevance.

[Old Fat Bald Chick Magnet]

"Have we not suffered enough these last seven years at the hand of a small minded ignoramus"

Um, I think he's talking about Simon Cowell, not GWB.

Gotta give the writer credit though: most serious ADD patients can't type as fast as they think.

[Marissa]

When did you date Jennifer Anniston? Is that what's being implied?
Does the writer think you're Vince Vaughn, Brad Pitt. I'm confused. You're smooth and shmarmy cute like Vince. I pray you don't smell like BP (I heard he has b.o.).

I can see this is going to be quite an amusing bright spot on Fridays. Thanks for sharing, Sean.

[Clark]

The writer doesn't offer evidence as to why they feel the way they do, choosing instead to try to impress the reader with flourishes of colorful wordplay.
In other words, it sounds like it was written by a critic.