It's a Jungle Out There!

I'm headed to the University of South Carolina this morning to warp the future minds of America. Should be fun. As part of a journalism conference (SIPA), I'll be teaching a few classes on pop-culture writing then giving the keynote address. I might punctuate my rousing speech by slamming the mike to the ground, blurting, "Daly...out!" and coldly ignoring thousands of autograph requests. But more than likely, I'll ask the five people who didn't sneak out during my talk if they wanna grab some Taco Bell.

Anyway, I'll be back and blogging on Monday. Until then, look out for No. 1...but don't step in No. 2!

QUICKIE IDOL RECAP: More Doinkings!

I really enjoy American Idol's vote-off shows. And not just for the obvious reason of watching young people getting their dreams crushed. There's a certain soul-cleansing as Ryan Seacrest slyly dispatches each talent-averse tear factory. My week suddenly feels unburdened by a certain warbly weight. I dunno. Maybe that's just me.

On Thursday, four more singers were eliminated, bringing the tally to a still-flabby 16. Next Thursday, we'll have our Top 12. And then, thankfully, hopefully, we'll go down to two shows a week.

As for tonight, I predicted that Amanda Overmyer and Kady Malloy, and Luke Menard and Jason Yeager would be going home.

Was I correct? Not really...

GOODBYE #1: JASON YEAGER: Yep, that ridiculous skunk-stripe sign of solidarity with Amanda Overmyer really did the trick. Jason can now go back to stealing my high-school girlfriend and making fun of me in gym class. Serves you right, you handsome SOB.

GOODBYE #2: ALEXANDREA LUSHINGTON: You're never a loser with the last name of Lushington. However, you are a loser if you sob like David Archuleta.

GOODBYE #3: ALAINA WHITAKER: "I can't sing!" Wow, that was good television. Plus her weepy rendition of "Hopelessly Devoted to You" was better than her dry-eyed one. In related news, I hope Danny Noriega never watches "Old Yeller."

GOODBYE #4: ROBBIE CARRICO: Like I always say, if you're gonna go out, go out while wearing an oversized skull T-shirt that essentially sealed your deathly fate the second you pulled it on. "American Idol" loooves irony, dude.

What's on Bruce's iPod?

Great piece in USA Today about the contents of Springsteen's iPod. You can actually scroll through the goodies: a lotta Dylan, Woody Guthrie, Neko Case, Link Wray. Lotta alt-country, folk, gospel, early rock. As for surprises, it's cool to see Nas on there. And Evan Dando must be feeling good about himself this morning.

Anway, here's the link.  Compare your iPod to the Boss's. My "A"s start off with 35 AC/DC songs. Bruce starts off with Alan Vega and Amos Milburn.   

QUICKIE IDOL RECAP: Why, Amanda, Why?!

Let's take a moment to remember Amanda Overmyer's hair when it was merely large. You know, before a stylist made her look like a sunflower in a third-grade play. Anyway, here are the Top 10 girls from Wednesday's night's '70s-themed "American Idol":

CARLY SMITHSON: She has wicked ink, pours a mean pint and isn't afraid to "shimmy" to Heart. So why am I bored by the Irish belter? I mean, my name's Sean Daly. I should be proposing by now.

SYESHA MERCADO: Roller coaster of emotions on this one. Had no idea she starred in that commercial for our local beaches. Very cool. Then she did that Exorcistian baby impression. Not cool. Not cool at all.

BROOKE WHITE: She annoys me, but the choice of "You're So Vain" made sense. After all, she might be the only person with a toothy maw as wide as Carly Simon's.

RAMIELE MALUBAY: Between the hula dance and the disco inferno, the Polynesian Pixie immediately became a fave in the Daly manse.

KRISTY LEE COOK: Makes me long for the sophistication and nuance of Kellie Pickler.

AMANDA OVERMYER: I once dated a Panama Jack salesgirl in Ocean City, Md. Before she keyed my car and threatened to stab me, we had some really hot times. But alas, it wasn't meant to be.

ALAINA WHITAKER: We learned a couple things during this fine performance: (1) We should all listen to more Olivia Newton-John and (2) Randy Jackson is responsible for all the evil in the world.

ALEXANDREA LUSHINGTON: True confession: When Alexandrea kicked into Chicago's "If You Leave Me Now," I involuntarily yelped, "Oooh, awesome!" I figure the Forever Fiancee will fill out the palimony papers in the morning.

KADY MALLOY: With all those impressions, Kady's a regular Rich Little, isn't she? She's not too good on "Idol," but she'd kill on "Match Game."

ASIA'H EPPERSON: I think my four-week-old summed up the night rather eloquently when, upon show's completion, she urped Similac down the front of her onesie.

LIVE IDOL! Will Amanda Feather Her 'Do?

Maybe it was the bottle of wine. Or maybe it was the Andy Gibb. Or maybe it was the second bottle of wine. But I rather enjoyed Tuesday night's American Idol, when the Top 10 boys busted out the hits of the '70s. Sure, only a few of the dudes were any good (yeah, yeah, I know, you loooove David Archuleta), but still, I was perversely entertained.

Tonight should be even better, as retro-coiffed bad girl Amanda Overmyer and the rest of Cowell's Angels do up the Have a Nice Decade. I'm thinking my Biker Nurse With a Heart o' Gold sings American Woman. Or maybe Freebird, which would totally get her the "video flames." You get the flames behind you, you advance. As simple as that, Amanda. As simple as that.

Anyway, we had a swell chat last night. Some new faces, some old faces, some thinly veiled innuendo from loyal reader Sparky. A hot time indeed. So please join us in the comments section tonight at 8 p.m. for more Idol chatter. Bonus points if you wear platform shoes, bell-bottom jeans and a nik-nik shirt.

The Healing Power of Doritos

Finally, my unhealthy love of Doritos is starting to pay off. This incandescent 22-year-old is Kina Grannis, the winner of the Doritos Crash the Super Bowl contest. Maybe you remember her commercial? The finger-staining corn chip spent its Super Bowl ad money telling America to buy this singer-songwriter’s iTunes single. So I did. Per usual, the snacks were correct. (In a curious sidenote, Funyuns once told me to rob a bank. That didn't work out as well.) Anyway, I can't get Grannis, a psych grad from the University of Southern California, out of my head. The song is called Message From Your Heart. Lemme know what you think...

QUICKIE IDOL RECAP: That '70s Show

It was '70s Night on American Idol Tuesday, so at least the song selection rocked. But was anybody better than mildly crappy? Here's what happened to the Top 10 boys:

MICHAEL JOHNS: I hate to work blue, but during Fleetwood Mac's "Go Your Own Way," the Down Under Dreamboat bounced around like he had to take a whiz. Great song, so-so performance.

JASON CASTRO: Andy Gibb! Very nice. Castro has that Jack Johnson thing going on. The king of the campfire, the Don Juan of the dunes. I'd totally make out with him at the clambake.

LUKE MENARD: You're part of an a cappella group, you say? Wow, that's, um, really interesting. Yeah, hey, Luke, I think I forgot something in my car. Yeah, that's it, my car. I'll be right back.

ROBBIE CARRICO: The Idol band didn't do this dope any favors by choking on the "Hot Blooded" guitar parts. C'mon, people, embrace the power chord!

DANNY NORIEGA: "America would be surprised to learn that..." Oh, you know where I'm going with this. Snark amongst yourselves.

DAVID HERNANDEZ: Sorry, dude, America is NOT surprised to learn that you wore tights as a child. Oh, and why does he insist on bleaching the coolest songs in the pop canon? If this guy is considered the cream of the crop this season, we're in big trouble.

JASON YEAGER: All of a sudden, I feel much more comfortable on the dance floor. (The FF kinda liked him. Ewwww!)

CHIKEZIE: From one chubby dude to another, you gotta watch out for the man-boob shirts. Seriously, bra -- I mean, bro.

DAVID COOK: My pal Jeff in Cuba describes this guy's hairdo as "the Skullet." I can't do much better than that.

DAVID ARCHULETA: Did you hear the girl scream "Marry me!"? Or was that Danny Noriega?

LIVE IDOL! Spuds, Duds & the Aussie Dude

Is it Idol time again already? Jeez, that 5 hours last week was brutal. And even without such doinked contestants as "Leif" Garrett Haley and Amy "You're My Dream Man, Sean Daly" Davis, this week's Top 20 showdown ain't gonna be pretty, either.

Tonight at 8 p.m. are the boys, the most popular of which appear to be prepubescent aw-shucks machine David Archuleta and Down Under dreamboat Michael Johns. As for the rest of the no-talents, oy, who can tell 'em apart? I might remember David Hernandez, but only because he made Wilson Pickett's In the Midnight Hour sound like a Wonder Bread commercial. If I were Chekezie and Luke Menard, I'd bring my Samsonite to Thursday's vote-off show just in case.

Per usual, we invite all American Idol fans and detractors (and of course our OWN fans and detractors) to join the fray in the comments section. After the show, I'll release my own Quickie Idol Recap, a flurry of zingers and mad-cappery for the morning-after crowd. So put on something more comfortable and join the fun!

The Barry Bonds Playlist

So there's chatter that the Tampa Bay Rays might make a run at Barry Bonds. Never mind his Al Capone status with the feds. Never mind his surly demeanor with the press and notorious ability to alienate teammates. Never mind that his 40-plus age and deteriorating physical condition make him an almost-certain waste of millions of dollars. Never mind that the Rays just exorcised clubhouse cancers Delmon Young and Elijah Dukes.

The lure of having the Home Run King in a Rays uni might be too much to pass up. And you know what? There's a great part of me that looooves controversy and chaos and the idea of Bonds crushing baseballs into the ray tank at the Trop. Yeah, yeah, I'd ultimately say no to Bonds (probably...maybe...I think). The Rays have a sweet, streamlined team with young, hopeful stars. But dang, Barry Bonds in Rays colors? That could be one crazeee summer.

Anyway, here's TWO playlists, depending how you feel on the matter...

The Bring On Barry! Playlist
1. Going, Going, Gone -- Bob Dylan
2. Big Shot -- Billy Joel
3. Barry Bonds -- Kanye West
4. Ain't No Other Man -- Christina Aguilera
5. All Summer Long -- Kid Rock
6. The Winner Takes It All -- ABBA

The Boo Barry Playlist
1. The Needle and the Damage Done -- Neil Young
2. Big Head -- the Exies
3. The Drugs Don't Work -- the Verve
4. Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap -- AC/DC
5. Bad Reputation -- Joan Jett
6. Hate To Say I Told You So -- the Hives

"God" Coming to Tampa May 3

UPDATE: According to the Associated Press, North Korean officials have invited Eric Clapton to rock the Communist state, a diplomat at the country's embassy in London said Tuesday. Clapton had been officially invited to Pyongyang — the first such invitation to a Western rock star to the isolated nation.

The Financial Times reported that Clapton had agreed in principle and suggested 2009 for the gig.

In perhaps the coolest twist to the story: Kim Jong Chol, the Swiss-educated son of national leader Kim Jong Il, is reportedly a huge Clapton fan.

Okay, back to the local item...

The first week in May just got concert-clogged, as Clapton has announced a May 3 stop at Ford Amphitheatre in Tampa. The 62-year-old dubbed "God" by guitar geeks arrives two days before Kanye West (5/5) and then Radiohead (5/6) at the same joint. I'll no doubt review all three.

I'm actually more excited about EC's opening act, Robert Randolph and the Family Band, the tent-revival master of "the sacred steel." I saw Randolph live in D.C. and it remains a life-affirming experience.

Tickets go on sale Saturday March 1 at 10 a.m. The prices ain't cheap: $125, $85, $70, $49.50; $29.50 for lawn seats. To get your Clapton seats, call Ticketmaster at (813) 287-884 or go to ticketmaster.com.

I've seen Clapton a few times, and it's always been an efficient but satisfying show. If he plays "Forever Man" and "Pretending," all will be right in the world.