It's a Jungle Out There!

I'm headed to the University of South Carolina this morning to warp the future minds of America. Should be fun. As part of a journalism conference (SIPA), I'll be teaching a few classes on pop-culture writing then giving the keynote address. I might punctuate my rousing speech by slamming the mike to the ground, blurting, "Daly...out!" and coldly ignoring thousands of autograph requests. But more than likely, I'll ask the five people who didn't sneak out during my talk if they wanna grab some Taco Bell.

Anyway, I'll be back and blogging on Monday. Until then, look out for No. 1...but don't step in No. 2!

QUICKIE IDOL RECAP: More Doinkings!

I really enjoy American Idol's vote-off shows. And not just for the obvious reason of watching young people getting their dreams crushed. There's a certain soul-cleansing as Ryan Seacrest slyly dispatches each talent-averse tear factory. My week suddenly feels unburdened by a certain warbly weight. I dunno. Maybe that's just me.

On Thursday, four more singers were eliminated, bringing the tally to a still-flabby 16. Next Thursday, we'll have our Top 12. And then, thankfully, hopefully, we'll go down to two shows a week.

As for tonight, I predicted that Amanda Overmyer and Kady Malloy, and Luke Menard and Jason Yeager would be going home.

Was I correct? Not really...

GOODBYE #1: JASON YEAGER: Yep, that ridiculous skunk-stripe sign of solidarity with Amanda Overmyer really did the trick. Jason can now go back to stealing my high-school girlfriend and making fun of me in gym class. Serves you right, you handsome SOB.

GOODBYE #2: ALEXANDREA LUSHINGTON: You're never a loser with the last name of Lushington. However, you are a loser if you sob like David Archuleta.

GOODBYE #3: ALAINA WHITAKER: "I can't sing!" Wow, that was good television. Plus her weepy rendition of "Hopelessly Devoted to You" was better than her dry-eyed one. In related news, I hope Danny Noriega never watches "Old Yeller."

GOODBYE #4: ROBBIE CARRICO: Like I always say, if you're gonna go out, go out while wearing an oversized skull T-shirt that essentially sealed your deathly fate the second you pulled it on. "American Idol" loooves irony, dude.

What's on Bruce's iPod?

Great piece in USA Today about the contents of Springsteen's iPod. You can actually scroll through the goodies: a lotta Dylan, Woody Guthrie, Neko Case, Link Wray. Lotta alt-country, folk, gospel, early rock. As for surprises, it's cool to see Nas on there. And Evan Dando must be feeling good about himself this morning.

Anway, here's the link.  Compare your iPod to the Boss's. My "A"s start off with 35 AC/DC songs. Bruce starts off with Alan Vega and Amos Milburn.   

QUICKIE IDOL RECAP: Why, Amanda, Why?!

Let's take a moment to remember Amanda Overmyer's hair when it was merely large. You know, before a stylist made her look like a sunflower in a third-grade play. Anyway, here are the Top 10 girls from Wednesday's night's '70s-themed "American Idol":

CARLY SMITHSON: She has wicked ink, pours a mean pint and isn't afraid to "shimmy" to Heart. So why am I bored by the Irish belter? I mean, my name's Sean Daly. I should be proposing by now.

SYESHA MERCADO: Roller coaster of emotions on this one. Had no idea she starred in that commercial for our local beaches. Very cool. Then she did that Exorcistian baby impression. Not cool. Not cool at all.

BROOKE WHITE: She annoys me, but the choice of "You're So Vain" made sense. After all, she might be the only person with a toothy maw as wide as Carly Simon's.

RAMIELE MALUBAY: Between the hula dance and the disco inferno, the Polynesian Pixie immediately became a fave in the Daly manse.

KRISTY LEE COOK: Makes me long for the sophistication and nuance of Kellie Pickler.

AMANDA OVERMYER: I once dated a Panama Jack salesgirl in Ocean City, Md. Before she keyed my car and threatened to stab me, we had some really hot times. But alas, it wasn't meant to be.

ALAINA WHITAKER: We learned a couple things during this fine performance: (1) We should all listen to more Olivia Newton-John and (2) Randy Jackson is responsible for all the evil in the world.

ALEXANDREA LUSHINGTON: True confession: When Alexandrea kicked into Chicago's "If You Leave Me Now," I involuntarily yelped, "Oooh, awesome!" I figure the Forever Fiancee will fill out the palimony papers in the morning.

KADY MALLOY: With all those impressions, Kady's a regular Rich Little, isn't she? She's not too good on "Idol," but she'd kill on "Match Game."

ASIA'H EPPERSON: I think my four-week-old summed up the night rather eloquently when, upon show's completion, she urped Similac down the front of her onesie.

LIVE IDOL! Will Amanda Feather Her 'Do?

Maybe it was the bottle of wine. Or maybe it was the Andy Gibb. Or maybe it was the second bottle of wine. But I rather enjoyed Tuesday night's American Idol, when the Top 10 boys busted out the hits of the '70s. Sure, only a few of the dudes were any good (yeah, yeah, I know, you loooove David Archuleta), but still, I was perversely entertained.

Tonight should be even better, as retro-coiffed bad girl Amanda Overmyer and the rest of Cowell's Angels do up the Have a Nice Decade. I'm thinking my Biker Nurse With a Heart o' Gold sings American Woman. Or maybe Freebird, which would totally get her the "video flames." You get the flames behind you, you advance. As simple as that, Amanda. As simple as that.

Anyway, we had a swell chat last night. Some new faces, some old faces, some thinly veiled innuendo from loyal reader Sparky. A hot time indeed. So please join us in the comments section tonight at 8 p.m. for more Idol chatter. Bonus points if you wear platform shoes, bell-bottom jeans and a nik-nik shirt.

The Healing Power of Doritos

Finally, my unhealthy love of Doritos is starting to pay off. This incandescent 22-year-old is Kina Grannis, the winner of the Doritos Crash the Super Bowl contest. Maybe you remember her commercial? The finger-staining corn chip spent its Super Bowl ad money telling America to buy this singer-songwriter’s iTunes single. So I did. Per usual, the snacks were correct. (In a curious sidenote, Funyuns once told me to rob a bank. That didn't work out as well.) Anyway, I can't get Grannis, a psych grad from the University of Southern California, out of my head. The song is called Message From Your Heart. Lemme know what you think...

QUICKIE IDOL RECAP: That '70s Show

It was '70s Night on American Idol Tuesday, so at least the song selection rocked. But was anybody better than mildly crappy? Here's what happened to the Top 10 boys:

MICHAEL JOHNS: I hate to work blue, but during Fleetwood Mac's "Go Your Own Way," the Down Under Dreamboat bounced around like he had to take a whiz. Great song, so-so performance.

JASON CASTRO: Andy Gibb! Very nice. Castro has that Jack Johnson thing going on. The king of the campfire, the Don Juan of the dunes. I'd totally make out with him at the clambake.

LUKE MENARD: You're part of an a cappella group, you say? Wow, that's, um, really interesting. Yeah, hey, Luke, I think I forgot something in my car. Yeah, that's it, my car. I'll be right back.

ROBBIE CARRICO: The Idol band didn't do this dope any favors by choking on the "Hot Blooded" guitar parts. C'mon, people, embrace the power chord!

DANNY NORIEGA: "America would be surprised to learn that..." Oh, you know where I'm going with this. Snark amongst yourselves.

DAVID HERNANDEZ: Sorry, dude, America is NOT surprised to learn that you wore tights as a child. Oh, and why does he insist on bleaching the coolest songs in the pop canon? If this guy is considered the cream of the crop this season, we're in big trouble.

JASON YEAGER: All of a sudden, I feel much more comfortable on the dance floor. (The FF kinda liked him. Ewwww!)

CHIKEZIE: From one chubby dude to another, you gotta watch out for the man-boob shirts. Seriously, bra -- I mean, bro.

DAVID COOK: My pal Jeff in Cuba describes this guy's hairdo as "the Skullet." I can't do much better than that.

DAVID ARCHULETA: Did you hear the girl scream "Marry me!"? Or was that Danny Noriega?

LIVE IDOL! Spuds, Duds & the Aussie Dude

Is it Idol time again already? Jeez, that 5 hours last week was brutal. And even without such doinked contestants as "Leif" Garrett Haley and Amy "You're My Dream Man, Sean Daly" Davis, this week's Top 20 showdown ain't gonna be pretty, either.

Tonight at 8 p.m. are the boys, the most popular of which appear to be prepubescent aw-shucks machine David Archuleta and Down Under dreamboat Michael Johns. As for the rest of the no-talents, oy, who can tell 'em apart? I might remember David Hernandez, but only because he made Wilson Pickett's In the Midnight Hour sound like a Wonder Bread commercial. If I were Chekezie and Luke Menard, I'd bring my Samsonite to Thursday's vote-off show just in case.

Per usual, we invite all American Idol fans and detractors (and of course our OWN fans and detractors) to join the fray in the comments section. After the show, I'll release my own Quickie Idol Recap, a flurry of zingers and mad-cappery for the morning-after crowd. So put on something more comfortable and join the fun!

The Barry Bonds Playlist

So there's chatter that the Tampa Bay Rays might make a run at Barry Bonds. Never mind his Al Capone status with the feds. Never mind his surly demeanor with the press and notorious ability to alienate teammates. Never mind that his 40-plus age and deteriorating physical condition make him an almost-certain waste of millions of dollars. Never mind that the Rays just exorcised clubhouse cancers Delmon Young and Elijah Dukes.

The lure of having the Home Run King in a Rays uni might be too much to pass up. And you know what? There's a great part of me that looooves controversy and chaos and the idea of Bonds crushing baseballs into the ray tank at the Trop. Yeah, yeah, I'd ultimately say no to Bonds (probably...maybe...I think). The Rays have a sweet, streamlined team with young, hopeful stars. But dang, Barry Bonds in Rays colors? That could be one crazeee summer.

Anyway, here's TWO playlists, depending how you feel on the matter...

The Bring On Barry! Playlist
1. Going, Going, Gone -- Bob Dylan
2. Big Shot -- Billy Joel
3. Barry Bonds -- Kanye West
4. Ain't No Other Man -- Christina Aguilera
5. All Summer Long -- Kid Rock
6. The Winner Takes It All -- ABBA

The Boo Barry Playlist
1. The Needle and the Damage Done -- Neil Young
2. Big Head -- the Exies
3. The Drugs Don't Work -- the Verve
4. Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap -- AC/DC
5. Bad Reputation -- Joan Jett
6. Hate To Say I Told You So -- the Hives

"God" Coming to Tampa May 3

UPDATE: According to the Associated Press, North Korean officials have invited Eric Clapton to rock the Communist state, a diplomat at the country's embassy in London said Tuesday. Clapton had been officially invited to Pyongyang — the first such invitation to a Western rock star to the isolated nation.

The Financial Times reported that Clapton had agreed in principle and suggested 2009 for the gig.

In perhaps the coolest twist to the story: Kim Jong Chol, the Swiss-educated son of national leader Kim Jong Il, is reportedly a huge Clapton fan.

Okay, back to the local item...

The first week in May just got concert-clogged, as Clapton has announced a May 3 stop at Ford Amphitheatre in Tampa. The 62-year-old dubbed "God" by guitar geeks arrives two days before Kanye West (5/5) and then Radiohead (5/6) at the same joint. I'll no doubt review all three.

I'm actually more excited about EC's opening act, Robert Randolph and the Family Band, the tent-revival master of "the sacred steel." I saw Randolph live in D.C. and it remains a life-affirming experience.

Tickets go on sale Saturday March 1 at 10 a.m. The prices ain't cheap: $125, $85, $70, $49.50; $29.50 for lawn seats. To get your Clapton seats, call Ticketmaster at (813) 287-884 or go to ticketmaster.com.

I've seen Clapton a few times, and it's always been an efficient but satisfying show. If he plays "Forever Man" and "Pretending," all will be right in the world.

Out Tuesday: Janet Jackson's "Discipline"

Janet Jackson
Album: Discipline (Island)
In stores: Tuesday
Why we care: Much like brother MJ, Janet Jackson long ago lost touch with the current pop marketplace. But her 10th album might be weird enough to sell: a retro concept disc about a funky future. In other words, a robot-silly ’80s platter made for plugged-in modern listeners.
Why we like it: With the help of cyborgian servant Kyoko (yep, that's right), Jackson patrols a futuristic sex paradise, working out her nightly passions over burbly blips and techno crashes. Discipline gets a little too synthetic after awhile — like making out with the HAL 2000 — but the first half is perversely fun.
Reminds us of: Mrs. Roboto
Download these: Feedback (WATCH) and Roller Coaster (LISTEN)
Grade: B

PODCAST TIME! The Forever Fiancee Revealed

Hey Young Lovers! After rabid complaints that the Stuck in the '80s podcasts were getting too smart, too cerebral, too worthy of your priceless free time...I returned. Yep, after special guests Steve Persall and Stephanie Hayes gifted you with their trenchant pop-culture commentary, I pretty much sink that sumbeetch in seconds. Poor Al, he'll have to get his brain food somewhere else.

But those of you who expect very little from me (Mom, Aunt Shirley, great swaths of the Eastern Seaboard), just might be charmed by this week's show, which is all about John Hughes' 1988 classic She's Having a Baby. How appropriate, yes? The Daly fam just welcomed a wee lass into the club. Plus I've spent the last 15 years traversing the minefield of pre-nuptial stress. In fact, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, you'll hear from my better half, the aforementioned Forever Fiancee, born in Philly, raised in Jersey, a gal who pulls neither her punches nor her emasculating zingers. And she's all mine!

You can listen to the show RIGHT HERE. Or head to iTunes and download us there. Have fun!

On Oscar Night, Come Join Me...

On Sunday night, I'll be hanging out at film critic Steve Persall's Reeling in the Years blog, being a smart-aleck in the comments section. I wanna see all of my faves there: Jeff, Marissa, Guy, Bassnote, Sparky.

Heck, I'm in a good mood, so I'd even be happy to see Brad there. I have a feeling Steve Spears and his friend Jimmy Beam might show up, too. Ya never know...

Earlier in the night, I'll be zinging out jokes a la Morey Amsterdam for the paper's fashion coverage. So make sure to track down a St. Petersburg Times on Monday for some cheap laffs. Don't worry: The lovely and talented Sharon Fink will be telling you who's wearing what. I'll be more like Fred Willard in Best in Show ("And to think that in some countries these dogs are eaten.")

See you on Sunday...

Amy Davis: Bad Idol, Good Bikini

Last night, Amy Davis was eliminated from American Idol. My complaint was that I couldn't remember her.

Um, problem solved.

According to Maxim Online, Amy's true talent is in modeling small bikinis and being the talk of Cedar Lake, Ind.

Here's a link to her Maxim photo shoot.

Thanks to loyal Pop Life fan Marissa and dirty ol' film critic Steve Persall for the scoop.

Hot New Feature: Hate Mail Friday!

Here's a angry reader upset by my lack of love for Herbie Hancock, my abundance of appreciation for Van Halen...and, um, something to do with Jennifer Aniston. The letter also ties me to George W. Bush, which is new.

I had intended to simply ignore your insane spiral into certain infamy after NOT ONE, BUT TWO back to back mini (all you're capable of?) diatribes about Mr. Hancock’s unforeseen Grammy win last week, but today was the last straw. You are stupid. Have we not suffered enough these last seven years at the hand of a small minded ignoramus…now to suffer the quintessential music nincompoop...enough should really be enough. But no, now I am led by you, music "critic", to believe that the VH grampies are perfect. You probably would have stayed with j/Anniston…she’s so girlnextdoorish. You could be replaced today by any one of my fine, clever sons. They each write with more skill…and actually understand Music. You have got to go…please, and real soon. Regards, just another spt reader trying to prevent the editorial death of a fine paper

IDOL RECAP: And Then There Were...20?

ONE OF US! ONE OF US! American Idol eliminated its first four losers Thursday -- 2 boys, 2 girls -- ejecting them back into the cruel sobriety of everyday life. I predicted the exit of Luke Menard and David Cook, and Amy Davis and Joanne Borgella.

Was I right? Kind of...

GOODBYE #1: GARRETT HALEY: Leif-ing so soon? Tiger Beat '77 getting the boot early is a bit of a surprise. I thought his Breck hair would keep him alive awhile.

GOODBYE #2: AMY DAVIS: Nothing like getting ushered into oblivion with life advice from Paula Abdul. Yeah, that oughta work. Maybe if Amy does the opposite, she'll become president or discover a cure for the common cold.

GOODBYE #3: JOANNE BORGELLA: Here's my theory: JoBo wasn't plus-sized enough. Had she been morbidly obese a la Mandisa or Ruben or LaKisha, she woulda been rocking the Ford commercials. Per usual, I blame salads for all the sadness in the world.

GOODBYE #4: COLTON BERRY: At last, Colton can go back to being Thom Yorke's brain troll. Godspeed, lil' Yorkian homunculus. In related news, how ticked is that nerd Kyle? Didn't he lose out to this gnome?

Jakob Dylan Solo Album Out May 13

The Wallflowers were a dreadfully dull live band. Some might say they didn't exactly tear up the studio, either. But I've always had a soft spot for Jakob Dylan's roots-rocking crew, especially 1996 gem Bringing Down the Horse. Maybe it's 'cause I dig his Dad so much. Maybe it's because their wordy anthems have a shameless end-credit grandeur to them. Maybe it's because his cyborgian eyes have laser-implanted a chip in my brain. I dunno. But I keep a healthy helping of Jr. Dylan's tunes on my iPod.

So it was with a legit amount of excitement that I opened a press release hyping Seeing Things, Jakob Dylan's first solo album, to be released May 13. Rick Rubin produced, which means JD will no doubt be stripped to his groggy delivery and a coupla quiet guitars. Should be interesting. Well, to me at least.

Anyway, in celebration of this announcement, here's the 10 best Wallflowers songs (and a few of their covers):

10. Hand Me Down (GREAT SONG -- CAN'T EXPLAIN THE VIDEO -- NSFW!!!)
9. Days of Wonder
8. The Beautiful Side of Somewhere (WATCH)
7. Angel on My Bike
6. Heroes (the best thing to come from Godzilla -- WATCH)
5. One Headlight (WATCH)
4. 6th Avenue Heartache
3. I Started a Joke (THIS IS KINDA FREAKY)
2. Everybody Out of the Water
1. God Don't Make Lonely Girls

QUICKIE IDOL RECAP: Worst. Idol. Ever?

I've been asked by management to do a quickie Idol roundup for the morning-after crowd. I responded by saying, "Uhhh, can it be short?" So if you want good laffs and trenchant analysis, check out the comments in the previous live-blog chat. If you want the Cliffs Notes version, here ya go...

TOP 24 -- FIRST ROUND -- GIRLS

KRISTY LEE COOK -- The vacant Kate Bosworth clone would have looked more comfortable wrestling a wombat.

JOANNE BORGELLA -- My plus-sized dream date shows wafer-thin stage presence.

ALAINA WHITAKER -- Begging strangers to love her? Trust me, it doesn't work. Plus it's a b---- in court fees.

AMANDA OVERMYER -- If loving her is wrong (and clinically unsound), I don't wanna be right. Still my favorite to watch.

AMY DAVIS -- Who?

BROOKE WHITE -- "Washing up liquid" sounds nefarious. Like something from "Marathon Man."

ALEXANDREA LUSHINGTON -- Great name. Sounds like a distant cousin of Anastasia Beaverhausen.

KADY MALLOY -- Another fembot. But she might be wilier than you think.

ASIA'H EPPERSON -- Even if Asia'h were the greatest singer ever, I'd want her to lose. 'Cause the longer she stays, the greater the chance of me misspelling her name in print.

RAMIELE MALUBAY -- Feh. The judges loved her. And she's adorable. But...feh.

SYESHA MERCADO -- The last time I saw a mouth like that, Roy Scheider was hurling a scuba tank into it. (She can sing, tho. And has the confidence and poise to go far.)

CARLY SMITHSON -- She might be too good, too polished. For all the buzz about her, she was remarkably dull. America doesn't like perfection. And that, my friends, is why I'm destined for greatness.

Two girls and two dudes get eliminated Thursday night. We'll be there for all the carnage...

LIVE IDOL! The Overmyer Era Begins...

I'll be pulling for Amanda Overmyer tonight, when the top 12 Idol gals commence battle. And yet, I'm getting a bit concerned about my bittersweetheart. Sure, I like 'em smoky and whiskey-soaked, preferably with a rap sheet and a homicidal ex-boyfriend hellbent on revenge. But at 22 years old, the Rock 'n' Roll Nurse is starting to look like someone unhappily married to Elvis. Or is it Elsa Lanchester? I don't know. Something's not right.

As for the rest of the girls, let's hope they're more memorable than last night's dudes. Oy, with the milquetoast. I vaguely remember someone named Noriega and Castro. I think Johnny Stalin sang, too. MICHAEL JOHNS is so far better than most of those dopes, it's silly. That said, goofy-grinned virg DAVID ARCHULETA is supposedly scoring huge in the next-day polls. (CLICK HERE FOR THAT.)

Anyway, I'm expecting good performances from several ladies tonight, including Irish sobber CARLY SMITHSON, leggy belter SYESHA MERCADO and plus-size super goddess JOANNE BORGELLA. The madness starts at 8 p.m.

Join us in the Comments section tonight. Just jump right in. Don't worry if you don't know anyone. You'll be loved and embraced and, if you prefer, maybe even cuddled. Have fun!

Questions for the Jonas Brothers?

Or, as I like to call them, the JoBros, shaggy emo-pop boys busting out of the Mouse House music machine.

The Jonas Brothers -- Kevin! Joe! Nick! -- are BFFs with Hannah Montana. They opened for her plus starred in her 3D flick. This means that you might not care about them, but your kids sure do.

The JoBros play the St. Pete Times Forum March 8 all by their lonesome. And it's gonna be loud.

Anyway, I'm talking to the boys tomorrow. If you or your offspring have any pressing questions for them, let 'em fly...

LIVE IDOL! First, the Guyzzzzzzz

Eegads, are you ready for five (count 'em, 5) hours of American Idol this week? Jeez, that's brutal. As we commence whittling down from 24 to 12, first up are the dudes, who couldn't be more milquetoast. They warble tonight at 8 p.m.

Tomorrow are the gals (plus my sexy American girlfriend Joanne Borgella), and then Thursday four people get voted off and I curl up in a ball and rock myself into a happy place.

I like the scrum, the vibe, the white-hotness of the comments section, so that's where I'll be tonight. Spearsy might drop by, too. But you don't even need us anymore. Heck, I saw someone wearing a "Marissa Is for Lovers" shirt in downtown St. Pete. So we all know who the stars of the show are.

Anyway, here's a few dudes to watch out for tonight...

MICHAEL LEE JOHNS: The Wonder from Down Under is unfairly hunky. But when he nailed Bohemian Rhapsody during Hollywood Week, I was won over. Plus he eats great quantities of bacon. Always a plus. (By the way, to sign up for the Bacon Is Meat Candy Club, CLICK HERE.)

DANNY NORIEGA: Broadway no doubt has him penciled in for the next great revival of La Cage Aux Folle. But for now, he could be a factor. He could also be a pain in the ass. Always a plus.

DAVID ARCHULETA: Michael Lee Johns no doubt has Archuleta penciled in for a beatdown.

JOSIAH FLEMING: Sure, he was doinked by the judges last week. But look for Josiah and his bad British accent to crash his homeless car into the studio tonight. Ratings bonanza!

The Crying Playlist

There are no lonely teardrops in my house. Not anymore. At any given time these days, at least two of my loved ones can be heard crying simultaneously. The other day, we actually scored the trifecta, as my fiancee, our four-year-old daughter and our newborn girl were all wailing at once.

To be honest, there was a perverse sitcom thrill to the blub-athon. I was bombarded with three distinct cries, each one trying to out-volume the other: the fiancee’s I-need-sleep General Hospital drama flop, the pre-K kid’s fat-teared I Love Lucy spout and the four-week-old’s grouchy Gremlins protest.

All of that in 5.1 Surround Sob. Awesome sound quality. Eat your heart out, THX.

I eventually got a little frustrated, but not at my trio of bawling blue-eyed gals. I wanted to squirt a few, too. I wanted in on the caterwauling. I was seriously contemplating a hammer to the groin just so I could shed a few with the Kleenex Connection.

Now don’t get me wrong about all of this: The Daly brood, now four-strong and mighty, has never been happier. Everyone is healthy and pretty. And the tear brigade is often followed by a boisterous parade of chuckles.

But hoo boy, is there a lot  of emotion running wild in that joint. As the only dude in a house full of magnificent, mercurial women, I knew the crying game would come eventually — I just didn’t know it would come so soon. And yes, I’m fully aware that I’m the cause of some of this crying. Although at least I have the courtesy to swallow my emotions until they fester into some horrible malady later in life. I’m considerate like that.

But let me say this: As I sat there, sipping my Sam Adams, listening to the commotion, I had to smile. Sure, my head felt like a holding place for Paul Bunyan’s axe. But there was also a curious moment of clarity, especially for an only child always curious about bigger, louder households: Now this is a family.

So in celebration of my weepy, wonderful loved ones, here’s a musical playlist to crank a little louder when things get wet:

1. Tears -- John Waite
2. You Left the Water Running -- Otis Redding
3. Stop Your Sobbing -- the Pretenders
4. 96 Tears -- ? and the Mysterians
5. Crying -- Roy Orbison
6. Cry -- Godley & Creme
7. There's a Tear in My Beer -- Hank Williams
8. Before the Next Teardrop Falls -- Freddy Fender
9. Lonely Teardrops -- Jackie Wilson
10. Tears on My Pillow -- Little Anthony & the Imperials

22 years later, imperfect is perfect

They said it couldn't happen, shouldn't happen. Diamond Dave had become a half-carat has-been. Fast Eddie had bottomed out from hard living. But more than that, these iconic head cases despised each other, a scrum of pride that turned rock's most ephemerally ferocious band into a cautionary tale (at best), a punch line (that's more like it).

But if air-guitaring is believing, Van Halen's reunion show at the St. Pete Times Forum Monday not only happened - it happened with life-affirming vigor. If it wasn't VH's original 1978 lineup, it was close enough to successfully tap into our adolescent aggression and Friday-night fantasies.

In other words, this show didn't have to be perfect for the 16,853 fans to adore every moment. After 22 years, people couldn't wait to feel that Van Halen love again.

Older, wiser, but still just as rambunctious, there they were: frontman David Lee Roth, 52; guitarist Eddie Van Halen, 53; drummer Alex Van Halen, 54; and bassist Wolfgang "Wolfie" Van Halen, Eddie's 16-year-old son, replacing original member Michael Anthony, who remains aligned with Sammy Hagar, the man who joined the broken band after Roth went solo in the mid '80s.

But bygones were bygones - or at least it looked that way. "I heard you missed us! We're baaaaack!" hollered Roth, dressed as a randy circus ringmaster, waving a giant red flag and still infused with more ham than a pork farm. When Dave and Eddie shared a no-hard-feelings hug, the ensuing roar was deafening, and it hurt so good.

[AP file photo]

C'mon, Dave, Throw Us a Bone

When Diamond Dave & Co. rock Tampa tonight, they will dutifully dish out all the Van Halen hits: Panama, Unchained, And the Cradle Will Rock...and there's certainly nothing wrong with that. Heck, fans would riot if they didn't hear about "Junior's grades." (Here's a link to the probable setlist.)

But I've been waiting to see these dudes play for 25 years. And I've been spinning their albums for even longer. So here's a dream playlist of deep, delicious forgotten cuts that, if dusted off after all these years, would send fans into a frenzy. (If you don't know 'em, get your tuchus to iTunes. Hear About It Later is their best song ever, man!)

1. Hear About It Later (from 1981's Fair Warning): This sucker was meant for midnight. (LISTEN)
2. Take Your Whiskey Home (from 1980's Women and Children First): Behind the fastest-fingers showboating, Eddie is a gutbucket bluesman.
3. Bottoms Up! (from 1979's Van Halen II): Rowdy rock goodness served straight up.
4. Drop Dead Legs (from 1984's 1984): Randy and irresistible, much like DLR himself. (WATCH)
5. Me Wise Magic (from 1996's Best Of: Volume I): Silly voodoo from their aborted '96 reunion.
6. Top Jimmy (from 1984): The most underrated cut on their best album? Discuss.
7. Feel Your Love Tonight (from 1978's Van Halen): With that hook, this should have been a smash.
8. Where Have All the Good Times Gone! (from 1982's Diver Down): Their second-best Kinks cover.
9. Fools (from Women and Children First): Such tough boys, such sweet harmonies.
10. Sinner's Swing! (from Fair Warning): Might as well be the VH anthem.

Jackie Moon's "Love Me Sexy"

"Let's get real sweaty / I'm talkin' rainforest sweaty / I'm talkin' swamp sweaty / Let's fill the bathtub full of sweat." Eat your heart out, Barry White.

American Idol Scandal! (Um, Or Not)

My lovely and talented colleague Sharon Fink just got off the phone with American Idol producer Nigel Lythgoe. Her full report on the chat runs tomorrow, but here's a quick snippet about the latest brouhaha. Take it away, Sharon...

The first big Idol sniping of the year has been about the number of hopefuls, including members of the Top 24, who have a track record in the music industry.

Robbie Carrico was in an Orlando-manufactured boy band, Boyz N Girlz United, that opened for Britney Spears on a 1999 tour. Sixteen-year-old David Archuleta was a Star Search winner at 12.

But the biggest target has been Carly Smithson, the Irish belter with the sob story about her visa problems. (WATCH her audition.) Under her maiden name, Hennessy, she released an album in 2001, Ultimate High, and according to one report, MCA backed its promotion with $2-million.

So what, Idol executive producer Nigel Lythgoe said in a conference call Friday. "Nobody said this is an amateur competition. (That) is something people are making up for themselves," he said.

"The rules of the competition say you can’t be in contract now....Kelly Clarkson had a professional contract (before Season 1). Bo Bice had a deal (before Season 4). We’re doing everything about who they are and what they are now."

And don’t ask him about it again. After taking a couple of questions about the issue and repeating the same points, he got a bit cranky and semi-wailed, "I honestly don’t know what the angle is."

Best John Hughes Soundtrack?

In honor of my ability to reproduce successfully, the mighty Stuck in the '80s franchise is pulling out all the stops for a celebratory She's Having a Baby podcast. We're recording today; the show will launch in a couple of weeks.

The 1988 John Hughes dramedy stars Kevin Bacon and Elizabeth "It's Grouper" McGovern as newlyweds trying to traverse the world of betrothed adulthood. It's funny, it's touching -- it hits really close to home (especially all those writerly frustrations...oh, and the saggy boxer shorts scenario).

She's Having a Baby also has the best soundtrack of any John Hughes-related movie. Just look at these SHAB gems, all thematically packaged: Crazy Love -- Bryan Ferry; Apron Strings -- Everything but the Girl; This Woman's Work -- Kate Bush; Haunted When the Minutes Drag -- Love and Rockets; Happy Families -- XTC.

An incredibly close second is Some Kind of Wonderful, which is pretty spectacular as well.

Anyway, here's the way I see The Top 5 John Hughes Soundtracks breaking down:

5. Vacation (Holiday Road, Dancing Across the USA, Blitzkrieg Bop)

4. Pretty in Pink (If You Leave, Pretty in Pink, Do Wot You Do)

3. Weird Science (Weird Science, Don't Worry Baby, Tubular Bells)

2. Some Kind of Wonderful (Do Anything, I Go Crazy, Miss Amanda Jones, Can't Help Falling in Love)

1. She's Having a Baby

Kanye, Rihanna Coming to Tampa May 5!

Just got a great scoop from those cool kids at tbt*...

Kanye West's "Glow In the Dark Tour" -- hence the vainglorious rapper's funky specs at last weekend's Grammy Awards -- is coming to Ford Amphitheatre in Tampa on May 5.

And Mr.West is bringing a ton of high-wattage pals with him. 

Seriously, this sucker's a monster tour. Fellow Grammy-winner, and incadescent R&B diva, Rihanna, Chicago rapper Lupe Fiasco and Pharrell's cool side project N.E.R.D. are also on onboard for what could be one of the biggest, most profitable hip-hop shows in history.

No word yet on when tickets will be made available, but I'll let you know as soon as I find out. Here's more on the story from MTV.com.

By the way, I am TOTALLY buying a pair of those glasses if Kanye sells 'em at the merch tent.

(Oh, and for those of you with eclectic tastes, this is also the night before Radiohead at the same venue. That makes me a very happy camper.)

[Getty Images]

The Valentine's Day Playlist (Pre-K Edition)

I hated Valentine's Day as a grade-schooler. I was a poofy-haired, Toughskins-wearing nervous pup to begin with. But the anguish of wondering if I'd score any Scooby-Doo cards in the shoddy construction-paper heart hanging from my desk was almost too much too bear. I usually fared okay, not a ton of cards, but not a barren wasteland of prepubescent shame, either. Still, the payoff wasn't even close to eclipsing the night-before panic attacks. It was brutal.

So it was with great heart palpatations that the Forever Fiancee and I bought our 4-year-old daughter, Kid Lulu, her first batch of Valentine's Day cards. Stars Wars for the boys, Bratz for the girls. She'll be handing them out at school today, and we'll make sure that everyone in her class gets one. At her age, I imagine that's the deal anyway.

But alas, it's just a matter of time before Lu starts dealing with the stress of selective Valentine's Day cards. When does that start? Third grade? Fourth grade? That's gonna be tough on her. She's already showing signs of being like her old man. Some days, my daughter will come home and, like a beaten-down used-car salesman, tell me about her day: "It wasn't a good one, Dad," she'll say with a sigh, slowly shaking her head. "I had a fight with Olivia." Sing it, sister. I hear you loud and clear.

So here's a playlist to send Kid Lulu out into the world of Valentine's Day with a positive boost. Don't sweat it, kiddo. You'll always get a card from me.

1.) Have a Heart -- Bonnie Raitt
2.) Why Can't We Be Friends -- War
3.) Turn of a Friendly Card -- Alan Parsons Project
4.) Happy Valentine's Day -- OutKast
5.) Baby Be Mine -- Michael Jackson
6.) Puppy Love -- Donny Osmond
7.) The Kids Are Alright -- the Who
8.) I Want Candy -- Bow Wow Wow
9.) Secret Admirer -- Pitbull
10.) My Funny Valentine -- Ella Fitzgerald

Live Idol: Bad lighting and tears galore!

Hey, American Idol fans! It's Stephanie Hayes. Or as Sean Daly (pictured left) claims, the less-edgy face double to Idol's biker nurse Amanda Overmyer. But I dunno.

Tonight is pivotal. Eager young singers will try to maintain their last shred of sanity. Their final flicker of rational thought. Their lingering layer of cheap, runny mascara.

In a fluorescent room with the warm fuzzies of a 1939 Bangkok execution chamber, our hopefuls will confront the Star Chamber of Simon, Randy and Paula for a spot in the top 24. Many will cry while slumped against the elevator wall, even though they KNOW there is a Sony handycam jerryrigged in the corner.

Expect commercial teases featuring sobby singers. Are they tears of joy? Tears of sorrow? Did someone slice an onion? Or did Josiah "HEY, DID I MENTION I LIVE IN MY CAR?" Leming narrowly miss burrito hour at craft services, sending him into a downtrodden spiral of blue? Tune in after the break!

It's gonna be good TV, folks. For me, at least. Because unlike some people *coughSeanDalycough*, I don't like my surprises TOTALLY HIJACKED. I saw some of the final 24 that Daly so mercilessly posted WITHOUT a spoiler alert yesterday. But I scrolled away quickly, childlike sense of wonder in tact.

Live chat starts tonight at 8 p.m., right here in the comments section!  I'll be leading the way, but SD and Spears will pop in between baby feedings and bites of MexiMelt to soothe you with their sweet, sweet commentary.  It's gonna be bananas!

photo: AP

Van Halen's Redemption Song

After decades of decadence that would make any id ache, after endless stories of wasted talent and mortifying screwuppery, Van Halen — the real Van Halen, mind you, not that Van Hagar stuff — has become a genuine redemption story.

Hedonistic ’80s buffoons long left for dead are now getting rave reviews as they maturely rock the globe’s largest venues. The most debauched of the debauchers have turned their lives around. Talk about comeback stories. Somewhere, Danny Bonaduce is planning a run for Congress.

If you ever thought Van Halen would happen again, you’re either lying or you died in 1985.

Last year’s Police reunion tour was considered highly unlikely, but Van Halen’s reunion tour, which comes to the St. Pete Times Forum on Monday, is downright miraculous. And not just because of the hatred between guitarist Eddie Van Halen and frontman David Lee Roth, which made the Sting & Co. feud play like a sandbox tiff.

Fighting is one thing; surviving is another. The band bragged of Runnin’ With the Devil, but they might be indulging in some divine intervention as well.

[AP photo]

Live Idol! Terrorizing Tinseltown

Finally, we get to American Idol's Hollywood Week. Two hours tonight (starting at 8 p.m.), one hour Wednesday. Expect plenty of tears and triumph. This stuff usually makes for pretty good TV, as nasty no-talents reveal themselves with snotty shenanigans and God-fearing wannabes have the promise of fame ripped from them in front of 40 million people. Good times, good times.

By Thursday morning, we'll officially have the Top 24 American Idol hopefuls. HOWEVER, beloved Pop Life correspondent Marissa managed to dig up the probable list of 24 already. Here are the names to look for (root for, despise) tonight:

GUYS: Chikezie Eze, Colton Berry, Danny Noriega, David Archuleta, David Cook, David Hernandez, Garrett Haley, Jason Castro, Jason Yeager, Luke Menard, Michael Lee Johns, Robbie Carrico

GALS: Alania Whitaker, Alex Lushington, Amanda Overmyer, Amy Davis, Brooke White, Carly Smithson, Kady Malloy, Kristie Lee Cook, Ramiele Malubay, Syesha Mercado, Joanne Borgella, Asiah Epperson

So let's chat it up! Stuck in the '80s guru Steve Spears has promised to loiter in the Pop Life comments section. I'll be there, too. So pull up a bottle and join in the snark.

Radiohead Comes To Tampa May 6

Radiohead is coming to Ford Amphitheatre in Tampa on Tuesday, May 6.

Tickets go on sale this Saturday, February 16.

In Thom Yorkian populist style, prices are relatively cheap -- $55 and $45 for reserved pavilion seats, $32.50 for lawn.

Tix available thru ticketmaster.com or (727) 898-2100.

BLOG BATTLE! Off the Wall vs. Thriller

Sure, super-sized Stuck in the '80s stud Steve Spears and I look scarily alike. Two muscle-ripped dudes with fashion-forward hair and prodigious cheez-eating skills. And yes, people think we get along all the time and agree on everything.

But if you look beyond the Funyun crumbs and killer moves with the ladies, you'll see Steve and I are actually worlds apart. For instance, he's a dumbass. Just the other day, as we fed fried shrimp to each other at Long John Silver's, he said "Thriller is Michael Jackson's best album." In response, I (1) recoiled in horror (2) spit tartar sauce in his eye and (3) shouted demonstratively, "What? Are you some kind of monster? I feel like I don't even know you anymore!"

I then proceeded to tell my good buddy why 1979's Off the Wall is actually the better Michael Jackson album. Not that Thriller isn't a classic; it very much is. In fact, when the 25th anniversary of Thriller comes out Tuesday -- complete with full remastering of the original, B-sides and full-length vids of all your faves -- I'll no doubt play Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' 25 times then moonwalk to the bathroom.

But that doesn't make it better than Off the Wall. And this is what I told Steve Spears as he wept softly, nodded his head and bogarted the remaining hush puppies:

THREE REASONS WHY "OFF THE WALL" IS BETTER THAN "THRILLER":

1) Michael Jackson's two best songs are on Off the Wall. It's not even close. There are scant musical moments as life-affirming fun and danceably orgasmic as Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough. Jesus, is that good or what? Plus those echoey fills ("I'm melting now") are the stuff of sugar-smacked goodness. And then there's Rock With You -- are you hearing me? Rock With You, people!!! -- the most perfect 3:23 minutes in the pop music canon. "And when the groove is dead and gone / You know that loooooooove survives / So we can rooooooock forever!" Am I the only one with chills?

2) Off the Wall was the last Michael Jackson album you could listen to without feeling creepy, guilty, icky. He had yet to cross the Michael Jackson Line. He had yet to order the Elephant Man's bones or give Macaulay Culkin curious noogies. By the time he hit Thriller, MJ was on the bullet train to Never Land. Sign No. 1 that his judgment was impaired: The Girl Is Mine.

3) Simply: She's Out of My Life. (Down goes Spears! Down goes Spears!) Not only is it his best ballad, but before he did God knows what to his nose, his face, his soul, MJ could sing like nobody's business. That vocal is the very definition of powerhouse.  "To think for two years she was here / And I took her for granted / I was sooooo cavalier." There is no greater fuel for a Dark Night of the Soul than this song. And yes, finally...the crying at the end, that tear-choked "liiiiiife." Tito, get me a tissue.

If you so desire, you can amble over to Stuck in the '80s and see Steve's rebuttal. But c'mon, we're the party people, night and day, and living crazy, that's the only way. So I think we know who won this Blog Battle.

In Case You Missed It...

Here's Amy Winehouse's performance from the Grammys last night. Via satellite from London, where it was 3 a.m. (By the way, what in the hell was Cuba Gooding Jr. doing there?) Not a great set from Wino, but not the train wreck you expected (and probably kinda wished for).

And the Grammy goes to ... Herbie Hancock?

The biggest upset in Grammy history? Yes. The biggest blunder, too? Maybe.

For more than three hours Sunday, the 50th annual Grammy Awards was smart, entertaining and, lo and behold, hip. New stars merged with pop icons, the mood was fun and cool. And this anniversary edition of an oft-maligned event was one for the ages.

And then Herbie Hancock’s name was called for album of the year. Uh-oh.

Just like that, the Grammys, a peer-voted award criticized for clueless cronyism, fell back on old, crusty habits. No offense to the great jazz pianist. But his salute to Joni Mitchell, River: The Joni Letters, was decidedly not better than the major category’s two front-runners: Kanye West’s Graduation and Amy Winehouse’s Back to Black.

"The impossible can be made possible," said Hancock, 67, who was as shocked as anyone by this upset.

For most of the night, the Grammys were fresh with their choices. Two of pop music’s most mercurial stars, rapper West and new-school R&Ber Winehouse, were feted with major hardware in Los Angeles. West, with a tribute to his late mother shaved into his head, took home four awards, including best rap album. Among her five trophies, Winehouse, a tabloid star thanks to her drug use and related ne’er-do-wellness, won best new artist, plus song and record of the year for the neo-girl group groove Rehab. As for her spacey acceptance speech, um, well, someone named Ray-Ray is very happy.

Vince Gill took best country album for These Days and was given the award by Ringo Starr: "I just had an award handed to me by a Beatle," Gill said, adding the good-natured dig of the night: “Have you had that happen yet, Kanye?”

[AP photo]

Hot Grammy Action! LIVE!

UPDATE: WHAAAAAAAT? HERBIE HANCOCK? ALBUM OF THE YEAR? This is why the Grammy Awards are considered a joke. This is why the recording industry is clueless and downtrodden. For three-plus hours Sunday night, the 50th annual Grammy Awards were having a swell anniversary year. Kanye West and Amy Winehouse were properly feted. The performances were inspired. The mood was smart, hip, fun.

And then they called Herbie Hancock's name for album of the year. No offense to the great jazz pianist, but his River: The Joni Letters is NOT the album of the year. Oy.

Anyway, I'm pretty wiped. I basically had to rewrite my entire early-edition column after complimenting the Grammys for finally having their proverbial stuff together.

So thanks to everyone who joined the chat tonight. If you're just reading this, there's some brilliant commentary in the comments section. Enjoy.

(Read the comments area for the play-by-play action. And feel free to head over to Stuck in the 80s, as my doppleganger best buddy is hosting a chat there too.)

If you need a Grammys refresher course, check these out:

Here's a link to my GRAMMY PREDICTIONS. (Oof, I really tanked on those. First the Patriots lose. Now this. Tough week for SD.)

Here's a link to my feature on Grammy-gobbling legend Phil Ramone.

Here's some play-by-play, from the red carpet to the finale...

HELMET HAIR: Carrie Underwood -- hire a new stylist. Or lay off the Aqua-Net.

TRON? Anyone else see reflections of Tron in that first Kanye performance? I kept waiting for Jeff Bridges to scream "Greetings, Program!"

CAN WE BE NICE? Yeah, Alicia Keys looks great. Very classy. And that upsets us to no end. We need more Souja Boy silliness and less Keys class.

GIRLS JUST WANNA ... have fewer cliches. Can someone possibly interview Cyndi Lauper without having to awkwardly drop her signature song title into the questions? (FYI, Spears promises to pay for the damages to the TV here.)

JASON BATEMAN - COMIC SUPER-HERO: This guy should be hosting the Oscars. He's killin' from outside the Staples Center. "Ladies and gentlemen ... and the creepy guy walking over there." It's enough to make you forget Teen Wolf Too and buy another set of "Arrested Development" DVDs.

BEST ZINGER: Vince Gill -- "I just had an award handed to me by a Beatle ... have you had that happen yet, Kanye?"

BEST UNINTENDED JOKE: "Coming up later tonight -- Kid Rock and a new female friend."

I WOULD DIE 4 U: Prince is the coolest guy in the Los Angeles zip code, so if he wants to take a shot at Frank Sinatra, who are we to dry foul. We think it was a joke, but it's Prince, so just nod along knowingly and be glad he'd even grace an event like this.

BEST PERFORMANCE SO FAR? Probably Morris Day, you think? But Beyonce and Tina Turner -- hot, very hot. Kanye singing about his mom, who died last year? Sean's still sobbing in between bites of Funyuns.

POOR KANYE: What's with trying to play Kanye off the stage halfway through his acceptance speech? Please tell us that was a mistake and someone hit the wrong button.

PAISLEY POWER: Brad Paisley really sings a song called "Ticks?" (Sean assures he did.) Did Weird Al write the lyrics. Since when did country cross-breed with vaudeville?

AND FINALLY: Amy Winehouse really does perform. Though maybe she'll later wish she hadn't. She sounded like it was 3 in the morning over there in London. Oh it was? OK, nevermind. "Not a great performance," Sean says, "but at least she didn't pass out."

[AP photos; Getty Images]

Back in the Saddle Again

First day back from the Baby Beat, and I'm already immersed in a deadline column about David Lee Roth's giant inflatable "microphone." (VH is coming to Tampa Feb. 18) But before getting back to Diamond Dave, I thought I'd take a break from the grind and open a little mail. I have a veritable trough of CD packages at my feet, and if I don't open these suckers now, the tribbles will triple by tomorrow.

So here's the new loot...

Michael Jackson -- Thriller 25
Lenny Kravitz -- It's Time for a Love Revolution

Brad Paisley -- 5th Gear (the twist is that they sent me a Digital Download Card instead of the CD)

Sheryl Crow -- Detours
Mike Doughty -- Golden Delicious
Idina Menzel -- I Stand
Black Eyes & Neckties -- Apparition! (Check 'em out)

Louis XIV -- Slick Dogs and Ponies (they finally sent me the finished version. My album of the year...uh, so far)

Sara Evans, Alan Jackson -- How Great Thou Art: Gospel Favorites
Anne Murray -- Duets: Friends & Legends (Nelly Furtado, Shania Twain, Shelby Lynne)
The Heavy Circles -- The Heavy Circles

Secondhand Serenade -- A Twist in My Story
Kerli -- Kerli (I don't know who she is, but she looks WEIRD AND HOT)

I found another envelope of even more of those Digital Download Cards: Backstreet Boys, Three Days Grace, Britney Spears, Pink and Chris Brown. Not sure I like this trend...

And the Grammys will go to...

Say "Kanye West" eight times fast and you'll get the probable vibe of Sunday's 50th annual Grammys Awards. The deck is so stacked in favor of the Chicago rapper, who leads all artists with eight nominations, it's almost certain the "Louis Vuitton don" will leave with a fat load of loot.

It should also be a good night for British terror Amy Winehouse and the two women in Jay-Z's life: Beyonce and Rihanna. Handicapping the Grammys has never been easier, so my picks are no doubt perfect. Not that you should wager your co-worker. Well, maybe a burrito.

ALBUM OF THE YEAR NOMINEES: Foo Fighters, Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace; Vince Gill, These Days; Herbie Hancock, River: The Joni Letters; Amy Winehouse, Back to Black; Kanye West, Graduation.

THE WINNER? Kanye West. With the exception of Winehouse, none of these performers will even come close to ruining West's night. Herbie Hancock? It's a fine album but . . . Herbie Hancock?! The Recording Academy uses a "peer-based" voting system made up of oldsters who long to be cool (they'll pick West) and youngsters who really are cool (they'll also pick West). Also important to remember: Graduation was one of last year's rare multiplatinum hits, and the spiraling music industry is desperate to remind you that people still buy music legally.

BEST NEW ARTIST NOMINEES: Feist, Ledisi, Paramore, Taylor Swift, Amy Winehouse.

THE WINNER? Amy Winehouse. This is a sublime assemblage of talent, especially the nods to indie-cool singer-songwriter Feist and soul belter Ledisi. But it will ultimately come down to country nymph Swift and Winehouse. Swift is a randier version of Carrie Underwood (which I totally approve of), but Winehouse's Back to Black album (new-school beats meet girl-group shuffle) is a near-masterpiece. Winehouse's acceptance speech should be a doozy.

SONG OF THE YEAR NOMINEES: Before He Cheats (performed by Carrie Underwood); Hey There Delilah (Plain White T's); Like a Star (Corinne Bailey Rae); Rehab (Amy Winehouse); Umbrella (Rihanna).

THE WINNER? Umbrella. The absolutely incandescent Rihanna is scheduled to perform this silly-illy-illy smash on the awards show. So she'll already have that going for her. The Grammys like to spread the love around among young talent, so they probably won't go back to Winehouse. Underwood sells tons of albums, but she had her moment last year.

RECORD OF THE YEAR NOMINEES: Irreplaceable (performed by Beyonce); The Pretender (Foo Fighters); Umbrella (Rihanna); What Goes Around . . . Comes Around (Justin Timberlake); Rehab (Amy Winehouse).

THE WINNER? Irreplaceable. Whereas song of the year is for the songwriters, record of the year is for the artist and producer. The Grammys have a major crush on Beyonce, too: She's pretty, she's clean, she's a vavoomish ambassador for pop music. Having already acknowledged Winehouse and Rihanna, they'll give B some love. Besides, Irreplaceable was a monster.

BEST ROCK ALBUM NOMINEES: Daughtry, Daughtry; John Fogerty, Revival; Foo Fighters, Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace; Bruce Springsteen, Magic; Wilco, Sky Blue Sky.

WINNER? Foo Fighters. The Grammys will probably screw this one up, but they kind of have to. The Foos are the only act in this category also up for album of the year, so do the math. If I were a member of the academy, however, I'd vote for the raw, rawkin' anger of Fogerty. He won't win, but he should.

BEST COUNTRY ALBUM NOMINEES: Dierks Bentley, Long Trip Alone; Vince Gill, These Days; Tim McGraw, Let It Go; Brad Paisley, 5th Gear; George Strait, It Just Comes Natural.

THE WINNER? Vince Gill. Again, Gill is the only nominee here also up for the big prize, so he's money in the bank. But the award should go to Paisley, whose ability to sing, write and pick the heck out of his guitar is a rare treat in modern country. On a final note, it's a crime that Miranda Lambe