LIVE IDOL! Spuds, Duds & the Aussie Dude

Is it Idol time again already? Jeez, that 5 hours last week was brutal. And even without such doinked contestants as "Leif" Garrett Haley and Amy "You're My Dream Man, Sean Daly" Davis, this week's Top 20 showdown ain't gonna be pretty, either.

Tonight at 8 p.m. are the boys, the most popular of which appear to be prepubescent aw-shucks machine David Archuleta and Down Under dreamboat Michael Johns. As for the rest of the no-talents, oy, who can tell 'em apart? I might remember David Hernandez, but only because he made Wilson Pickett's In the Midnight Hour sound like a Wonder Bread commercial. If I were Chekezie and Luke Menard, I'd bring my Samsonite to Thursday's vote-off show just in case.

Per usual, we invite all American Idol fans and detractors (and of course our OWN fans and detractors) to join the fray in the comments section. After the show, I'll release my own Quickie Idol Recap, a flurry of zingers and mad-cappery for the morning-after crowd. So put on something more comfortable and join the fun!

Comments

[Bassnote]

Can't wait for the festivities to start!

[Jeff in Cuba]

OK, off the top of my head I can remember Crocodile Hunkee, Chachi, Danny Montanny, Dred Flintstone, Chik-Filet, and Axl Poser. Throw in David and Luke because SD mentions them above and I'm still light two anonymous losers.

Who am I missing?

[Sean Daly]

Jeff -- I believe you called one of them "Skullet" (he looks like a creepy clerk at Chico's Bail Bonds).

And the other is the Missing Osmond.

[Jeff in Cuba]

How could I forget The Skullet?

"Party in the back, paltry in the front!"

[jane]

On behalf of the currently at-work Miss Riss and myself: Crocodile Hunkee = Love Kangaroo.

Just for future reference.

[r2cents]

This is great! We're eagerly awaiting the show and looking forward to the mad-cappery.

[Marissa]

Oh Love Kangaroo!! I'm home and ready for youuuuuuuu... and this Idol chit chattin'

[Bassnote]

I already want to beat the crap out of Danny Montana

[Bassnote]

It's like John can't hear what key the band is in. He's way off.

[jane]

how do you really feel, Bassnote? Heh.

[jane]

not crazy about Love Kangaroo doing Fleetwood Mac... but he looks good.

[Bassnote]

Even off key Johns is still better than the rest of them.

[Marissa]

Aww our Love Kangaroo didn't impress Simon. But did you notice his butt? WOW! Nice legs, too (in the tennis clip) Dayummmm.

[Marissa]

He'll be safe. He has to be safe. OMG what if he's not safe? Riss needs her eye candy.

[r2cents]

Poor song choice, Michael. Sounded forced. Sounded like me when I was fourteen and my parents went out for the night and I sang this song and anything else I could at the top of my lungs. Could have picked a better song. This is one talented dude; I’d like to see him front Queen.

[jane]

He's safe. He could walk out, sing Waltzing Matilda accompanied by a kazoo band and he'd be through to the next round. No worries, mate.

[Marissa]

LOL Jane. I'm giggling and can't hear Jason Castro. I like this kid. I don't know what it is. I think it's maternal.

[jane]

Hee! r2cents -- and I thought I was the only one who sang at the top of my lungs when my parents went out.

[r2cents]

Jason? Real cute. Unique. Great song. Could have been a stronger performance.

[Bassnote]

Jason wasn't as bad as Simon made him out to be.

[Marissa]

I found out the other day that 'my town' is backing Luke Menard. Apparently his family is from here or something.

[Carla]

Ok... so I came in the show with Castro... bad performance! Riss/Jane... who did I miss and what did they sing?

[Bassnote]

He is slaughtering a Queen song! There should be a law against that.

[Marissa]

r2cents, I think our Love Kangaroo should have belted a Queen tune. Indeed. But this isn't working for nasaly Luke Menard.

[jane]

EEE! An Andy Gibb song! EEEEE!

Jason was not as bad as the judges portrayed. Please.

I like this kid -- a lot. Aside from the Love Kangaroo, he may be my favorite.

[sparky]

So who is going to pull the BTO and Three Dog Night out of the Bag.

Danny is two to one odds to sing either Elton John or Barry Manilow.

[r2cents]

Luke? I’m surprised “Orlando” survived last week. Looked a little nervous. Great song! He did a good job. My wife tried to sing along—but she was drooling.

[Bassnote]

Yessssssssss! Simon ripped him apart!

[jane]

Luke Menard. Looking good tonight. That might save him.

r2cents -- tell your wife she's not alone with that drool thing.

[jane]

Y'all do realize that if last week was songs of the '60s and this week is songs of the '70s, then it logically follows that next week should be... songs of the '80s.

What a magical time that will be.

[Sean Daly]

Luke Menard as a K-Mart Orlando Bloom! That's genius.

[Marissa]

Sean!!!

[Bassnote]

Axl Poser is really screwing up the Foreigner song.

[Marissa]

This Robbie dude is about as 'rocker' as I am anorexic.

[Marissa]

One thing is clear: Robbie doesn't know Pantene!

[r2cents]

Robbie’s at least got a shot. Who am I seeing? Is it Robert Palmer? Nervous and a little off. I wasn’t feelin’ it.

[Bassnote]

The smarmy little bee-otch is next. I hope Simon makes him cry.

[jane]

I sang "Hot Blooded" with more passion and vim and vigor in the car line at the kiddo's elementary school this very afternoon than Robbie Dude did just now. And I have laryngitis. Ugh.

[jane]

Is it too much to hope for to have Danny Noriega sing something from "Cabaret" or "New York New York?" That would make his Liza with a Z haircut so work for me.

[sparky]

I used to like the Carpenters. He does look a little like Karen though.

[Bassnote]

Holy %&% he is really channeling Liza tonight. Luther Vandross is rolling over in his grave. I hope this performance is his last.

[r2cents]

Danny? Sweet boy, like Cojo sweet … gag! Nice song. I like him, but he needs a better performance if he wants to make the top twelve.

[Marissa]

ACK! ACK! ACK! I do not like that kid.

[Spears]

This is the worst show of the season so far.

[Bassnote]

Paula! Stop lying to the contestants! Danny Sucks!

[Bassnote]

Ish... as in suckish, awfulish, patheticish!

[Jeff in Cuba]

Just got back from dance rehearsal (I'm in a father-daughter number in this year's Spring Recital, which is a topic for another blog) and I find out that our Fox affiliate is off-the-air.

That means two things:

1) You're all my only link to AI, and

2) I'm in for some serious hate mail at the office tomorrow.

[Bassnote]

Sorry, I thought the song was Superstar by Luther Vandross. I really meant that Karen Carpenter rolled over in her grave, but it was so bad luther might have done some rolling over too.

[jane]

Oh man. Both Luther and Karen are rolling over in their respective graves. SO not good.

[r2cents]

David Hernandez? Decent vocal.

[jane]

I'll be damned. Hernandez did a bit of alright with that song. Although I did miss the rest of the Temptations.

[Marissa]

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I'm only capable of audible groans this night. Ack!

[Sean Daly]

Are they really trying to sell David Hernandez as a legitimate talent? This is the second week in a row he's bleached one of the coolest, funkiest songs in the canon. Fer crissakes, Spears has more soul than this guy!

[Marissa]

He picked up the piano? Wow! He's strong ::rimshot::

[Marissa]

Sean!!!

[Marissa]

Okay, this guy really needs to take a break from the cheeseball smiley face crap. I mean, I'd probably do him in a NY minute, but that's not the point. The point is that his grinny chops are buggin' me out.

[Bassnote]

David was okay, but he reminds me too much of Marc Anthony, and I don't like Marc Anthony.

[r2cents]

Jason Yeager? Phone it in why don’t you? I picked him to go last week. And, great, my wife had to mention he looks like the kid from Stand By Me … leeches!

[jane]

I feel like I have a front row seat at the Andy Williams Theatre in Branson, watching Yeager tooth his way through the Doobies.

Begone with you. Please.

[Bassnote]

I love how Simon just reaches in and rips people's hearts out. He's my hero.

[Marissa]

I think it's his Val Kilmerishness that's keeping him in the game.

[Jeff in Cuba]

It's killing me that two of these stiffs are going to be out of here without any more of my scorn!

So who does it look like is going to sneak out while the Fox-lights are out in Cuba?

[Bassnote]

Chikezie ain't doing too bad tonight.

[Jeff in Cuba]

OMG, with Fox on the fritz, Harriot in Cuba has tuned into "Real Life" on MTV.

There's an oxymoron!

[r2cents]

Chikezie? At times, quite listenable. But who dresses this guy?

[Marissa]

Hell of a lot better from last week.

[Marissa]

I don't get the prep look. He's dissin' Simon's clothing again lol

[jane]

Chekezie doing a little Donny Hathaway. I rather liked it.

[Bassnote]

Oh no! Skullet is trying to kill one of my favorite 70's tunes. Paul Rogers is... well he's not dead, but if he's watching he's probably not feeling too good.

[Marissa]

Well, he's working the girly section of the crowd. Smash it! Smash the guitar!

[Marissa]

Nooo they learned Smoke on the Water, Paula.

[r2cents]

David Cook? So just how bald is he? Almost a decent vocal on a great song. Philip Seymour Hoffman will play him in the movie. At least he’s got that going for him.

[Bassnote]

Paul Rogers agrees with Simon. Cook is as appealing as rotten garbage.

[Marissa]

Argh!

[Marissa]

And to think I was glad to be off work tonight to watch the guys.

[jane]

Skullet had me with the Word Nerd thing. Anyone who does crosswords is fine by me.

I didn't think the vocal was all that bad. But I'm also drinking agave nectar margaritas, so my judgment might be skewed.

[Bassnote]

John Lennon is... well you know.

[Marissa]

His "boring" profile didn't bother me at all. I like wordy dudes.
I enjoyed it well enough.. Chikezie was probably my fave thus far.

I really like David Arugula

[Bassnote]

I don't hate this kid's voice, but I don't like the arrangement of the song.

[r2cents]

Little David … ooh, nasty mic pop right at the beginning. But this kid has a good voice. I believe he’s a favorite.

[Marissa]

Again, maybe it's maternal, but as far as clarity, tonality and stage presence, that boy has it.

[jane]

Archuleta has got a great voice. No question. But he's just too damned earnest for snarky old me. I'm tired of it already. And it's only week 2.

[sparky]

I think Fonzie is just about ready to hit the ramp. These guys as a whole blow more chunks than I did at my Bachelor Party. And that is quite an accomplishment.

[Marissa]

Meh, he was on the verge of tears. I don't think it's an act. I like him. He kinda reminds me of the Man-cub.
He's a nice kid. Not a snot-face "two snaps and in your face gurlfriend" sort.

[r2cents]

Who’s off? I’m going with Danny and/or Jason Yeager and/or David Cook.

[Marissa]

Danny ~ needs to go
Jason ~ cute but too showtuney
Robbie ~ poser who needs a wash, rinse and repeat.

[sparky]

I say you get rid off 8 and save time. Keep Chachi and Chikeze and send the rest to the Cruise Ship Circuit.

[Bassnote]

I hope Danny Montana is unceremoniously dumped. I have the same reaction to this kid that Sean has to the song' True'.

[jane]

Who should go: Danny Montana and Robbie

Who will go: Probably Robbie and the Missing Osmond (Jason Y.)

[Marissa]

I'm really sad Michael didn't have a stronger, solid performance.

[r2cents]

Missing Osmond? That's great. But notice one's missing? :)

[nikonqueen]

Has anyone else noticed the whole Simon sign language of him putting his thumb against his temple when he "absolutely hates" a song? It somehow reminds me of the "HeeHaw Sam Wainwright" signal in It's a Wonderful Life. In other words, to see it is to be afraid, very afraid (unless Simon's company is prepared to wire thousands of dollars. Stop.)