Super Bowl XLII: Missing the good old days

Hey gang, Stephanie Hayes here.  Sean has Wee Munchkin Maya chillin’ on his shoulder doing baby type things like being cute and whatnot, so he asked for a hand.

He thought it would be no big thang for me to blog about Super Bowl entertainment. He was SO wrong. My Internet connection went kaput. Then, our 57-inch high def TV BURNED OUT. So while we were frantically hauling a TV down from the bedroom, I missed Alicia Keys.  ARRRRRGH.  But I saw a picture of her, and she had on REALLY BAD PANTS. Like, Erica Kane on acid-bad.

Now, I’m web connected via snail cell phone, watching the game on a tiny TV.  And the snooty mac and cheese I made tastes like corrugated cardboard. Frick.

But enough about that. I love you people! Let’s talk Super Bowl!! In a completely non-football related way, of course.

1. Tom Brady: Hot.
2. Jordin Sparks sings the National Anthem: How nervous was she? Poor thing looked like she wanted to blow chunks, "8 Mile" style. But I think she did a great job. I was holding my breath for the money note, but she nailed it. And her corset dress looked fierce.  Well done, Jordin. By the way, her dad is former NFL player Phillippi Sparks. Bet he shed a few tears tonight.
3. Announcers: Why are they all so… ORANGE? Jimmie Johnson looked like Mystic Tan on carrot juice boosters. What happened to people being people-colored?
4. Bill "Stumpy Arm" Belichick: I just don’t understand a short-sleeved sweatshirt. It's a warm garment. Sleeves make sense. Why cut them off? Why, then, layer ANOTHER shirt underneath? Anyone?

Half Time

1. Shot through the heart: Um, is it just me, or did that “arrow” sailing into the heart-shaped stage look a little, ehhh, phallic? Maybe they were trying to out-skank Prince’s guitar silhouette incident from last year. Well, turns out, it was the most titillating part of the show.
2. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers: It felt like… okay… if all my uncles got together and played a round of Rock Band on Xbox. Old-ish dudes, words and guitar chords blaring across the screen, cheap flashing lights, limited range of hip motion, bad facial hair, Centrum Silver. Just saying.
3. Oh Janet, come back: I was praying for a Tom Petty nip slip. A bit of ankle. A seductive shimmy. A sly hair toss. ANYTHING. The most exciting part was when they sent weak AAA “stranded in rural Wyoming” automotive flares sailing across Uncle Stu’s Rock Outfit. But I will say this - Tom Petty has some great songs. And he can still very much play and sing. Everyone in my house was singing along – “Make it last all niiiight!”  So, there’s that. But his songs are just a little slow to get the crowd moving, don’t you think? Like Valium and red wine.
4. American girls: How about those insta-fans? Are buxom 21-year-old blondes REALLY that into Uncle Tom? Or was it an open casting call? How much were they compensated to learn the lyrics AND wear low cut tank tops?

Let's discuss!

Comments

[Marissa]

Hey Stephanie Hayes who is sittin' in for Papa Sean. Papa No! Nah, doesn't work.
Anyway, I'm not much of a football fan, but I have been watching the ads on myspace. I liked the Life Water one with the dancing Thriller lizards. Sweet!
I just turned on the game. I hear a lot of noise. I think the Patriots are leading. I bet that'll make Sean happy.

[Stephanie Hayes]

Hey, Riss! Actually, the Giants JUST scored with 35 seconds left. So Sean probably just went into cardiac arrest. :(

[Stephanie Hayes]

And, Brady just got sacked hardcore. Ouch.

[Marissa]

I saw or heard that. Sorry Sean! I was thinking positively. My brother in law is a HUGE Giants fan. I mean, never say never die-hard true blue fan. I think he's probably crying right now.

[Marissa]

Man, I bet Pops Manning is just so stinkin' proud of his kids winning back to back Super Bowls.

[Stephanie Hayes]

I'm a huge Peyton Manning fan. I had him two years in a row on my fantasy football league. Last year, I made a shirt that said "Laser Rocket Arm" with his picture ironed on. Eli, not so much, but he seems like a good kid.

[Marissa]

My nephew is named after Peyton Manning.

Sorry Sean! I'd make a sad face emoticon, but I know that would make you a tad bit aggravated.

[jane]

As a "woman of a certain age," I totally dug TP & the HB. Oldish-dude look at all. Straight ahead rock & roll. Can't beat it, as far as I'm concerned. No

Such a game, though -- usually I'm dozing at this point, but I was on the edge of my sofa, biting my nails. And I didn't even have a dog in the hunt.

[Bassnote]

I like Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, but that half time show was BORING. Bring back Prince.

[Marissa]

Personally, I miss Up With People. But that's just me.

[DG]

The Patriots probably should've videotaped the Giants' sideline this year instead of the Jets'.

[Jeff in Cuba]

My Commanding Officer is lifelong Pats fan.

It's going to be a looooooong day at the office tomorrow!

[Carla]

I'm with you Bassnote... I do like Tom Petty & the HB, but I'll take PRINCE over them any day!!

[Carla]

And for someone who didn't care about either team in this year's contest... Overall, I'd have to say GREAT GAME!!! I won $100 on the end of game score (Thanks to Marissa and her "Hips Don't Lie" dance she had me doing!!)

Whoo Hoo!! I just love to get unexpected money!! Just deciding on which store to visit first!! LOL!

[Marissa]

LOL Thanks Carla. Don't give away the trade secret ... we gotta get rich first.

[Carla]

Oh... No worries there Marissa. He**, my back is sore, my hips are aching and well, I don't think I'll be able to do that dance for at least a week!!

Ohhh, where is my Aleve! LOL LOL!!

[Carla]

... Well, I guess I'm off to bed... no one is here, well except me and the crickets!! night all!

[Marissa]

I didn't have to watch the game (although I saw those last killer 35 seconds) to see the commercials. This is just absolutely the best.
Open-mouthed-jello-necked-head bob
http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=27485659

[Stephanie Hayes]

Back online. Eesh, this cell phone thing stinks. Meant to say, I LOVED Prince last year. To me, Super Bowl etertainment is real hot and cold... awesome and entertaining one year, kinda dull the next.

Also, it appears Bon Jovi's post show got the big heave-ho in favor of a new eppy of House.

[Captain Ron]

Umm... so... I pretty much agreed with everything you had to say, Steph, until you left that comment about Eli being a good kid... I mean, really? Sure, he had a good game or whatever. But good kid? Please. Just when I thought you knew your ish... you let your love for Peyton blind you. All Mannings are not created equal.

[Clark]

I thought the FedEx pigeons and the Justin Timberlake Pepsi ads were great. There were a couple others that were amusing but overall, a pretty weak crop this year. The beer companies definitely did not bring their A game.

[Sean Daly]

Regarding best SB commercials, three golden rules of comedy were proved last night...

1.) A guy in a giant mouse costume beating the crap out of another guy is always funny.

2.) Equally hilarious: Fat guy dancing with jumper cables on his nips.

3.) Comedy gold -- chopsticks up the nose.

Not funny? Talking babies and/or animals acting like humans. Both give me the creeps.

[Bassnote]

Anything that shows Justin Timberlake getting the crap beat out of him is okay in my book.

[Bassnote]

Other good commercials:

Vitamin Water with Shaq as a jockey

Toyota Corolla: locking guy in the car with badgers.

The Thriller lizards

[sparky]

Personally, I thought the commercials were as good as the game. Loved the clydesdale commercial with Hank the Horse in training to the rocky theme.

Also, I hate to say this SD but I loved the outcome. As a Radiers fan the thought of Randy Moss getting a Super Bowl ring just made me want to vomit in my mouth a little bit. Kind of a little bit of Karmic Justice.

[John Hays]

What's with all the Petty hate? That was one of the most solid sets I've heard from a Superbowl halftime show in years. I think great music trumps jumping around on stage. "She was....an American girl!"

[Lyndsey]

Seriously? A hit at Tom? Mr. Petty could kill anyone with his pinkie finger, no joke (This coming from a seventeen-year-old, mind you).

Anyway, have you heard any news about upcoming Radiohead show to be announced eventually? And any opinions on the festering pile of turd that is the Coachella lineup?