In Sean's Mailbox: Coffee, Tea or Sex Scene?

So during my flight to South Carolina this weekend, the dude across the aisle was watching movies on his massive Dell laptop. At first he was snorting at harmless Billy Bob Thornton turd Mr. Woodcock. A little bothersome, but no biggie.

But then Annoying Computer Guy put in We Own the Night, starring Eva Mendes and Joaquin Phoenix. Now I'm not sure what that flick is about, but I do know it has hot nook-nook in it. How do I know this? 'Cause Annoying Computer Guy had the volume cranked and the humpathon showing on his IMAXian screen. Now listen, we know I'm no prude. We know I have issues. But Annoying Computer Guy was also breathing heavily through his nose like Seabiscuit and chomping loudly on snack mix, the horrific fiesta-smell of which was wafting over to me. So the whole combo (sex, snorting, fiesta snacks) totally freaked me out. I've always wondered who bought the nudie mags in airport gift shops. I mean, who reads Swank on the red-eye to Boston? The answer? I bet it's Annoying Computer Guy.

Anyway, here are the CDs and DVDs that were waiting for me in my mailbox when I returned. Alas, We Own the Night was not in the pile. However, I can lend you The Osmonds: Live in Vegas.

Alan Jackson -- Good Time
Ray Davies -- Working Man's Cafe
Lindsey Buckingham -- Live at Bass Performance Hall (DVD)
Kathleen Edwards -- Asking for Flowers
Shirley Bassey -- Get the Party Started
Missy Higgins -- On a Clear Night
The Lonely H -- Hair
Lady Antebellum -- Lady Antebellum (WATCH)

Comments

[jane]

Annoying Computer Guy = total squick out. Agreed. Ew.

I'm anxious to hear how the Kathleen Edwards disc is... I literally just downloaded some of her earlier stuff over the weekend. Been in an alt-country mood after seeing the contents of Springsteen's iPod.

And I totally want to be Dame Shirley Bassey when I grow up. Seriously.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=vqNcyFNMfLM

[Cassie]

This is utterly hilarious. I enjoyed you're speech this weekend. Thanks for making SIPA that much more interesting!

[r2cents]

Yet people keep telling me it's safe to fly!

I'm looking forward to seeing Lindsey Buckingham's DVD. Let us know what you think.

[r2cents]

Oh, wow. I followed your Buckingham link and discovered John Stewart passed away. Bombs away, dream babies.

"Come on down Miranda ..."

And who can't jam to Gold?

Wow.

[DG]

You should've turned on your iPod so loud the guy could hear it. He's enjoying his flick and you're blasting "Super Freak".

[Tonianne]

Any opinion of the new solo effort by China Forbes? I heard the title track - '78 - and absolutely loved it. But after being disappointed by the latest release from Pink Martini, I don't want to get my hopes up. They really set the bar high with Sympathique and Tomato.

She'll be at the Birchmere in April (as will Asia, The Hooters, and Kathleen Edwards).

[Marissa]

I should be so lucky while on a plane. I usually get stuck next to the guy with feet so rancid you can smell them through his shoes. Or the loud family who believe everybody WANTS to hear about grandpa's boil removal.

[Jeff in Cuba]

My last flight was next to ACG's wife, Exasperated Totebag Gal.

She spent the entire flight digging through a giant carry-on that reminded my of my first apartment (only with handles and a conch shell screened on the side), without ever actually finding anything.

I swear at one point I saw Osama crouching in there.

[jane]

So funny you should mention China Forbes, Tonianne. I'm going to Boston for the weekend on Friday and was poking around to see what's going on -- Pink Martini's in town. Yay! Sold out. Boo! Stubhub tickets available starting at upwards of $160. Each. Boo Hiss!

PS: Jeff, as usual, you made me snicker aloud with laughter. And have made me reconsider my carry-on options for my upcoming flight.

PSS: It's not that long of a flight from TPA to SC -- what was dude doing needed to watch not one but two movies? Weirdo.

[Marissa]

Jane, I thought about your last query myself. Did he have them on fast forward with sound enabled?

I once took a flight from Yuma, AZ to Phoenix. We were in the air all of 20 minutes and the poor steward ran about, sweating his brains out trying to get us snacks before descent.
Also in that time, he had to make rounds again to pick up our trash. There was no onboard movie.

[VineyardWoman]

I feel your pain, Sean. To date, my worst flight experience was sitting across the aisle from The Wiggles' "Hot Potato" song - repeatedly - for 2 hours. It was painful.

To add insult to injury, they also had a cat (which I'm allergic to). Bonus round: the cat threw up in the turbulence.

[jane]

I was already to apologize to you, VineyardWoman, as I've totally been That Parent with the Wiggles on never-ending replay on a flight.

However, I never flew with my cat. Whew.

But mea culpa anyway. I feel your pain. Every day of my life (damn wiggles.) Yet another reason to give thanks for They Might Be Giants and their sanity-saving kiddo music.

[Sean Daly]

Kid Lulu once warbled an endless rendition of "Twinkle, Twinkle" for the duration of a Tampa-to-DC nonstop. Save for stuffing a sock in her mouth, we did everything to make her stop. At first, the surrounding passengers thought it was cute. But soon enough, a woman leaned over to me, pressed a small grin on her face and asked, "Does she know any other songs?"

[Marissa]

My son had issues with the descent on flights. The air suddenly turns more stagnate and cabin pressure put his little head and tummy in turmoil.
On a nonstop flight from O'Hare to Atlanta he insisted he was going to throw up. I desperately sought out a gag-bag and none was to be found. I cried for help from the flight attendant. I guess AirTran had to cut back. What did she give me? Cocktail napkins!
Needless to say, it's a good thing I had a change of clothes for both of us in our carry on luggage. Sadly, the girl next to him did not.

[Jeff in Cuba]

As long as we're exchanging horrible flight stories...

We were on a military charter (Venezuelan carrier) trying to land at Naval Air Station Jacksonville in a summer thunderstorm, and after two aborted approaches that left everybody shaken and our two oldest wearing their lunches, we finally diverted to Jacksonville International.

Once we were on the ground, we taxied to a deserted part of the airport. We were told that buses were being dispatched from the Air Station to make the 40-minute drive to airport, but that there were no other support services available. So I had to gather up a team of volunteers to get off the plane in the pouring rain and off-load baggage. And since we didn't have one of those handy conveyor belt carts, we had to manhandle each bag, bucket-brigade style, out of the cargo hold, onto the tarmac and then over to a nearby hangar where they could stay dry.

By the time I got back on the plane (we were getting off at the next stop), I was drenched, exhausted, and filthy (if you think the cabins of commercial planes don't get adequate cleaning, you should see the cargo holds!)

At least now I've got a "it-could-be-worse" data point by which to endure the indignities of air travel.