LIVE IDOL! Mugshots, Male Strippers, Etc.

Here's my awesome conspiracy theory: American Idol producers knew damn well that (1) biker-nurse Amanda Overmyer was busted for DUI and (2) milquetoast belter David Hernandez was a dancer in a gay strip club. In fact, the AI folks are so savvy, they knew the dirt would break exactly when people were getting bored with the show, ripping into it for being the worst crop of talent-averse dopes yet. I hope they don't kick them off to juice controversy. Amanda is my dream date, and I'm not ready to give her up (although the DUI rap is hard to ignore). And yes, Hernandez sucks, but who cares who he gives lapdances to.

Anyway, for those reasons and more, this should be a pretty watchable week. First of all, it's all '80s music. The guys go tonight at 8 p.m., the girls tomorrow, the Top 12 revealed on Thursday's vote-off show. My pals here at the St. Pete Times have predicted who will sing which Bon Jovi nugget -- and which '80s songs should be banned altogether. Good stuff, so check 'em out.

Per usual, we'll have a live chat going on here in the comments section tonight at 8 p.m. Look for America's sweetheart Steve Spears, the King of the '80s, to stop by, put a lampshade on his head and harmlessly flirt with your wife. All in good fun, folks, all in good fun. See you tonight!

Comments

[Marissa]

I tingle with excitement, Sean. This time it's not only over reading your blog. This night will surely bring a bounty of bawdy bashing. WOOT!

I suggested on Spearsy's blog that it would be so keen for Danny Montana to sing "puttin on the ritz" ala Taco. Eh?

I'll be here tonight AND tomorrow night. Yep. You read it correctly. My boss finally took my threats seriously and I'm off work in time for the show.
Can I get a hell yeah?!

[Marissa]

NSFW! Danny at age 14. I don't really care about this, but I am a sharing person. His family claims he was practicing for a skit he and friends were putting on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-LVm9j92Sc

[t odell]

Well, that's terrible that Amanda got busted for a DUI. But, shouldnt we all have a DUI or two under our belts....we're just lucky, not better. And, is it ok for that picture of David Hernandez to turn me on??? Maybe it's the new Mom stuff. It has been a while :)
You know we'll be watching tonight & the Daly/Mack's are always welcome to join in....

[Bassnote]

It would be totally classic if Danny Montana busted out a Culture Club song. I would not be able to stop laughing.

"Do you really want to hurt me..."
Yes Danny, we do.

[Marissa]

bahahaha, Bassnote. Good one.

[Marissa]

There is a slowed down cover version of Cameo's "Word Up!" The artist is Willis (no relation to Arnold).
I love it. I think Amanda Overmyer might manage to pull that baby off quite well. Then again, she might just massacre a song I adore.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqICZNklYn8

[Marissa]

By the way, if you like what you hear on the video the song is FINALLY available on iTunes. I had to acquire it in another manner after hearing it on the CSI episode in the video link.

[sparky]

Don't all the big name celebrities need at least one DUI on their recrod to help their street cred. Let's see Paris, Nicole, Li Lo. Amanda just got her's before she made it.

[sparky]

Oh and Ris, I watched your Youtube vid of Danny and that just reaffirmed my belief that what we are dealing with here is a chicken in rooster's feathers.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Our Fox station is still off the air, so no Idol for me tonight. I'll get to see tonight's show tomorrow night when it airs on the Armed Forces network.

I'm not sure if I 'm happy to be spared my favorite tunes being butchered, or sad I won't be able to vent my pain with the rest of you.

A few thoughts:

I know Amanda will likely go the Joan Jett route, but how great would it be if she went a slightly different direction for Lita Ford's "Kiss Me Deadly". Or she could go with INXS/Jimmy Barnes' "Good Times" and send Sean into sensory overload.

I think the remaining Jason would be well-served to focus his creepy cheeriness into a little UB40; maybe "The Way You Do The Things You Do".

I wonder if anyone will attempt the Everest of 80's vocal perfomances: Don Henley's "The Boys of Summer".

And Danny Montanny's going to bust out with "True"; I can feel it in my lower colon.

[DG]

I predict hearing "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" tonight...

[Bassnote]

"I can feel it in my lower colon."

Jeff, that caused me to laugh so had, I nearly felt it in my bladder.

[Bassnote]

Sorry, 'had' is the New England pronunciation of 'hard'.

[Marissa]

Jeff, I hadn't read your post over here before commenting on Spearsy's side. I said that I sent Danny a myspace message requesting he sing TRUE and give a shout out to Sean Daly during critiques.

There are so many totally awesomely bad songs that can be taken further into the toilet tonight. I'm on pins and needles with anticipation of the slaughter.

I am praying Love Kangaroo will not disappoint me. He needs to pull out the Aussie magic and make Rissy proud! -- and Jane, too.

[Spears]

Word has it that David Hernandez is going to break out a killer version of Adam Ant's "Strip."

[Jeff in Cuba]

Well, I guess "Strip" would be better than "Union of the Snake"

Ewwwww.

[Marissa]

ACK! You guys are sick. Just sick! I can't believe what I just read. Shame, shame! Why, I never!

[Carla]

Yeah right Marissa!! LOL LOL

[Spears]

Jeff -- you got me on that one.

OK, I've got gin and fresca in hand, and if my dog will just chill out, I won't have to pause Tivo at all.

[Marissa]

Steve! So glad you're here. Let me know if you need any CPR or the like.

[Marissa]

Does Ryan have a bruise on the middle of his forehead?

[Carla]

Ok... who called Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go???

[Marissa]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
He's singing WHAM! Who guessed that one?

[Spears]

Luke ... Luke ... why Wham?

[Marissa]

This sucks most righteously. Bye Luke. shoulda gone with some Kenny Loggins, dude.

[Spears]

Oh Luke. Never, ever try to sing a George Michael song. (I have that very phrase tattoed somewhere on my body.)

[Marissa]

Is that an invitation for a search, Steve? lol

[Spears]

Somewhere upstairs, you know that David Hernandez wishes he'd picked that song.

[jane]

Oh my.

Luke. Luke. Luke. SO not a good song choice. Especially with those interesting notes you hit mid-song.

I'm thinking you're the one who's going to be go-going mañana.

[Marissa]

David Archuleta. Phil Collins. Groovy Kind of Love? ... maybe? Sue-sue-sudeo?

[Jan Wesner]

TMZ.com reports the following playlist for tonight:

David Archuleta - Phil Collins Another Day in Paradise

Jason Castro -- Leonard Cohen "Hallelujah"

David Hernandez -- Meatloaf "It's All Coming Back to Me Now"

Michael Johns -- Simple Minds "Don't You Forget About Me"

Danny Noriega -- Soft Cell "Tainted Love"

David Cook -- Lionel Richie "Hello"

Chikezie -- Whitney Houston "All the Man(woman) that I Need"

[Spears]

By all means, Marissa. To quote Wham, I'm not planning on going solo.

(And by the way, Luke dances like Sean Daly at the urinal after three hours of swilling beer at Winghouse.)

[jane]

And the Hernandez jokes just keep on coming... these are better than the wig ones last week.

PS: Gin & Fresca? That's serious, dude.

[SharonF]

Steve, put the hair dryer down and step away from the pool.

[Sherrie]

Geez Steve, thanks for that incredibly disturbing image

[Carla]

Sean at the urinal... not a visual I needed.. LOL!

Riss... let me know if you find where that tattoo on Steve is... I've got a few guesses!

[jane]

Dollars to doughnuts (mmmm, doughnuts) says Jason Castro does the Jeff Buckley arrangement of "Hallelujah." Which is gorgeous.

[Marissa]

Steve, this might call for a David Hernandez sort of search.

[Spears]

Leonard Cohen? Whaaa?

Here's the over/under on Stuck in the 80s betting options:

TWO: Songs we'll hear performed in which we'll want to saw our ears off.

TWO: Songs that we won't even recognize as 80s tunes.

TWO: Songs that we'll vaguely recognize, but can't name the artist.

TWO: Performances that are actually worth listening to.

[Spears]

Here's another disturbing Sean factoid -- he was wearing a bright yellow Stu Nahan Wide World of sports jacket today.

Everyone in the building noticed. But only I -- your 80s guru -- could convert it into an 80s reference.

"Dude, where'd you get that jacket?"

YEA!! I like my adoptive son. The girlies love him. Grandma's adore him. Forty-two year old moms in Kankakee, IL think he's sweet and talented.

[Sherrie]

Pretty good, but the best Phil Collins AI song ever= babymommabeater Scott Savol's "Against All Odds". I have it on my iPod and still give it a spin every once in a while. I think it was his farewell song, but it was really well done

[Tom Scherberger]

Go, Jan! Based on that playlist these guys have done about as well picking '80s songs as they did '60s songs. Though I've always thought of Wham as the definitive '80s band, Steve.

[Spears]

Ah, Sharon, I knew you couldn't resist.

You want to see what it's like to see a grown man have a heart attack online.

"Look, if you look closely, you can see the very moment when Steve's heart rips in half."

[Carla]

Sherrie... I've also got Scotts version of "Against All Odds" on the ipod! Liked his version.

[Sean Daly]

"Coming up! Danny Noriega and David Hernandez back-to-back!" Hmmm, anyone want that one?

The best joke about my sport coat was from editor Bob Jenkins, who asked if my Century 21 patch fell off.\

Of course, the high-school girls looooved it.

[Marissa]

I have no idea why my sign in thingy failed.

[Tom Scherberger]

Since they let them play instruments this season, are they putting up a pole for Hernandez?

[Marissa]

"i turned red as a cute little tomato."

[Spears]

Best Phil Collins songs? Do I sense an impromptu list?

I'm going with "Separate Lives"

[Marissa]

This is gloriously bad. Sanjaya part deux.

[Carla]

Make Danny STOP, please!

[Spears]

Oh crap. I'm not sure I can keep watching. Danny Noriega, you are the devil.

[Marissa]

Was he attempting a little Marilyn Manson there?

[Carla]

Best Phil Collins Songs.. going for a non-hit in saying "We Said Hello, Goodbye".

[Sherrie]

Paula says Danny is "the bright light in this competition". I think she meant the flaming light

[jane]

I had to walk away from the telly. I just couldn't watch anymore of that song, once he hit the chorus.

Where is Bassnote when you need him.

thank you simon!

[Spears]

I've dated girls twice as masculine as Danny Noriega.

OK, that's the gin talking.

Please, Simon, set this straight. ...

"I thought it was horrible -- the whole thing. Absolutely useless."

I seriously want to hug Simon and pour him a gin.

[Melissa]

Tom, HA HA! Good one.

Best Phil Collin song - In the Air Tonight

I am digging the purple streaks in Danny's hair.

[Marissa]

Michael Johns doing a song that pleads for one not to forget him... not good, my little 'Roo. Such songs are often a kiss of death.

[Marissa]

OH god! He's singing about his lap dancing days.

[jane]

Pin a medal on Simon. Thank goodness someone admitted the emperor has no clothes -- that was dreadful.

[Spears]

A booger story by Hernandez. I sorta like that, in a weird, I'm a journalist so I'm a geek kinda way. And yet, I wonder if that just trumped the male stripper newsflash as blunder of the week.

And yet, I'll say this now -- so far, it's the best performance so far tonight.

[Sherrie]

This is the same song that Meat Loaf sang somewhat disasterously with Kat McPhee at the season finale two (?) seasons ago

[Jan Wesner]

My husband just said "Is that a Barbra Streisand song?"

[Spears]

Ready for the pun part of tonight's competition??

"Hernandez didn't suck too bad."

[Carla]

You saying that was the best performance of the night so far Steve, is saying A LOT!

[Marissa]

pssst Carla? Steve is drinking. His judgement is askew.

[Spears]

Well, considering even Dave Archu-whatever sorta was lame, then yeah, Hernandez is looking like ..

ready for it?

... stiff competition!

[Carla]

I figured... he's drinking my fav... GIN. This show keeps going like it is... I should go get my bottle out of the fridge!

[jane]

Right now, Hernandez is totally in the pole position in this race.

LOL y'all so crazzzzzzy.

[Jeff in Cuba]

I just want everyone to know that I'm lurking, and it's killing me!

The air is full of double entendres ripe for the dropping, and I'm not in the game.

Sigh.

Boomer 'roo!

[Jan Wesner]

By the way, my three-year-old daughter is laying in her bed right now singing along to "Girls, Girls, Girls." It's on the CD I burned for her at her request ...

[Sherrie]

ummm....he was beaten by rugby players while in a 'roo suit? That's not embarrassing, that's fodder for therapy.

[Spears]

8:32 pm EST -- time of death for Michael Johns.

[Sherrie]

Step out of lurkdom, Jeff in Cuba, we need you!

[Carla]

Not liking Michael singing this song. OUCH!! Getting my Gin out of the fridge as we speak.

[Marissa]

mmmmmmmm

[Spears]

Cause of death: Simple Minds.

[Carla]

Paula... Paula.. PERFECT song for him??? What's in YOUR cup?

[Marissa]

Y'all are crazy! Don't be talkin' smack about 'Roo!

[Spears]

Holy crap -- am I the only person on the planet who thinks Michael picked the wrong song?

Heck No Steve.. that was awful!!

[Marissa]

Spearsy, body search. It'll all be ok.

[Melissa]

yuck, I agree. I didn't like that. He'll get enough votes to go onto next week though, I'm sure.

[jane]

I'm with you on that one, Mr. Spears. Not the best choice. He shoulda gone with an INXS song and played up that Hutchence/Jim Morrison thing he's capable of doing.

But all that aside, he is lovely to look at.

[Jeff in Cuba]

I guess the fact that I can't actually see the show shouldn't prevent me from passing judgement on it.

This must be what it feels like to be a critic!

[Spears]

If that last performance by Michael is "good" -- then next time Idol comes to Florida, I'm auditioning with a little REO Speedwagon. Because as I've firmly established on the Stuck in the 80s podcast, nobody can botch "Keep on Lovin' You."

(Cuz it's the only thing I wanna do.)

[Marissa]

He should have gone with INXS, but that would have been an obvious choice. DUH!

Steve, do I need to send you something to calm your palpitations?

[Spears]

This makes karaoke night at my friend John's house feel like a $125 ticket at House of Blues.

[Tom Scherberger]

Michael should have tried Queen again. That Bohemian Rhapsody he sang during the rehearsals was the single best performance by anyone this season. And he hasn't matched it yet.

[Marissa]

YUCK! I just threw up

[Spears]

Bohemian Rhapsody was a late 70s song, so no-go on that one.

But PLENTY of Queen to choose from.

[Sherrie]

Does anyone really like this song? I can't stand it when that big bulbous-headed Lionel Ritchie sings it, and this fella ain't doing it any favors with a rock arrangement

Ok... NOT hating David singing "Hello"... Is it just me, or is the Gin starting to speak??

[Jeff in Cuba]

Tomorrow's headline:

Michael Johns Hopes To Get By On Looks Alone; David Hernandez Sues For Copyright Infringement

[Spears]

Lionel Ritchie -- as performed by Nirvana. I almost don't hate it.

[Marissa]

What was with the weirdo guitar sound?

And Simon loved it. I'm so confused

my wife just came over to say that she "loved it".

[Sherrie]

What? Did Paula slip Simon some of her crack mints at the commercial?

[Spears]

Wow -- who knew that 80s night would be won by someone doing a 90s arrangement on a song that anyone who loves the 80s would disown.

[Melissa]

I was so ready to hate that but I didn't. I think that might have been my favorite so far.

[Marissa]

This was in Shrek.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Someone tell me there's a David Cook video with a blind sculpter who crafts a clay Skullet just from feel!

[jane]

Totally dug that "Hello." I rather like David Cook.

[Spears]

OK, Jason Castro. I'm pretty sure I've never heard this song in my life.

[Marissa]

ARgh! The Curse of Peter Brady struck Jason Castro at the end.

[Jan Wesner]

I, too, unfortunately know this song from Shrek.

But I liked this version!

[Marissa]

Jeez, Paula just flabber-gabber-jabbers without saying a freakin' thing. Eesh.

[Spears]

Jason Castro would look exactly like David Hernandez if he buzzed those dreds.

[Marissa]

I really like Jason. I do!
I don't want to like David Cook. Nope. I do not. lol

[jane]

Oh. Em. Gee.

I LOVE Jeff Buckley's version of that song and Castro did it justice. Fan-frickin-tastic.

[Marissa]

Steve! You're killing me tonight. lol

[Spears]

So I guess our chance of someone doing They Might Be Giants is getting pretty minimal at this point. I'm devastated.

I would have gone for "Mammal" -- thus sending Simon into total culture shock.

Over 100 posts and no Sean.. must have baby-duty tonight.

[RP]

Hahaaa! Jan - I just found out what one of your guilty pleasures is!

Loved "hello" & the guy w/ the dreads.

[Marissa]

See, I know the Rufus Wainwright version. Going to iTunes for Buckley's

[Jeff in Cuba]

I pretended to like Leonard Cohen back in the 80's to impress a woman.

I would really like those gossamer threads of my dignity back.

[jane]

We can perhaps hope for Ana Ng during the group sing on Thursday... cross your fingers!

[Jan Wesner]

RP - Hey - and now I know one of yours!!!!!

[Marissa]

uh. That was sorta bland for Chikezie

[Spears]

Sean's busy weeping into his big, yellow jacket.

[Sherrie]

That sounds like an odd little haiku, Steve

[Melissa]

Didn't like Chikezie...could've sang "Just Once" that would have been awesome.

[Spears]

For the record, I liked Chakezie.

And off the record, I know more of Jan's guilty pleasures.

[Marissa]

At 8:18 Sean made a comment about Hernandez and his big yellow jacket -- not to be confused with Big Yellow Taxi

[Jeff in Cuba]

Somewhere out there a tweaked-up Bobby Brown is yelling at his TV:

"Damn, Baby! You really let yourself go!"

[Marissa]

bwahahahaha Jeff!

ROTF Jeff!! LOL that's was hilarious!!

[Spears]

OK, tonight's sure winners:

-- David Hernandez
-- David Cook
-- Jason Castro

Tonight's problem children:
-- Luke Menard
-- Danny Noriega
-- Michael Johns

Prediction:

-- Buy-bye Luke and ... (we'll see)

[jane]

HA! Jeff!

To which Chekezie replied "Hell to the naw, Bobbybrown."

[Jan Wesner]

Yes, Steve does know many of my secrets, but not all ... I do have some pride ...

[Marissa]

Luke and David Hernandez go bye bye. Just sayin'.

[jane]

Luke should be packing his things as we speak. No clue as to the other victim might be... I'll just say Danny in honour of Bassnote.

[Marissa]

Oddly, there is a rabid pack of girls/boys who love Danny.
David Cook needed this whatever performance to get a firm hold on a higher rung.
David Archuleta is another who has 13 yr old girls armed with unlimited texting at their fingertips to back him.

[Jeff in Cuba]

I think Danny Montanny will get the Sanjaya Memorial Free Ride to the Final Eight, fueled by VFTW and the Mallrat Mafia.

[Bassnote]

Please let Danny Montana go. His version of Tainted Love made me want to puke. He made Michelle Pfieffer look masculine. And, I HATE TEXT SPEAK! When he did his little 'Whatever' to Simon, I was hoping Simon would jump up on stage and kick his flaming ###.

[Marissa]

Wow! Bassnote. You're Sean Daly style enraged.
Vote for the Worst has Danny as their poster boy. He might be around longer. FYI: Amanda OverDyer is their poster girl. Sean, I know she's your dirty dream girl, but she's just skanky-bad.
Still love ya, though!

[Bassnote]

It'll be like Sanjaya with Danny. Eventually vote for the worst will get sick of his crap too.

[WIDMONSTER]

Paula Abdul was clearly drunk (or high) tonite. She was worse than ever. Isn't it difficult just listening her try to talk. She has trouble completing a sentence without stopping, stuttering, or completely sounding like her mouth is stuffed. Paula get someone to teahc you how to speak- and go to rehab!