IDOL RECAP: I'm Less Alive Than I Was Before This Started

   Hi all, Sharon Fink again, once more subbing for the charming and vivacious Sean Daly, who's out getting a good beer buzz early into the morning with Sheryl Crow. (Or arranging a marriage between her young Wyatt and his Maya. Or both, figuring the former would lead to the lattter.)

Regulars know my Idol credentials. Here are my qualifications to assess Neil Diamond night:     I am a HUGE Monkees fan ("Ohhhh, I'm a believer"). I own vinyl copies of The Jazz Singer soundtrack and the Heartlight 45. I saw Jazz Singer when it came out. And the manager of the record/CD/video store I worked at in a large American city in the mid-1980s swore that the most insane crowd he had dealt with while working security at the local concert arena was for the big D -- thousands of women who looked like your mother sweetly promising not to rush the stage door once he appeared, only to stampede so they could pluck out a chest hair (like there wasn't enough to go around if they didn't line up in an orderly fashion).    

Tonight's Idol Happy Hour had two songs from each of the final five. Why two songs? Not because Fox can't pad an hour show. Because it had to justify to Neil Diamond bringing him on for five people, even if his album does come out May 6. And why do I call it Happy Hour? Because it was like happy hour at a karoke bar in Cancun frequented by spring breakers.       

Jason Castro: First song, Forever in Blue Jeans; second song September Morn. There's being cool and low-key, and there's coming across like you would rather be stationed at a South Pole research station than here. His somnambulant delivery didn't differ between the songs, and of the bazillion songs Neil Diamond has written, one of the ones he picks is a throwaway. I want to say he's in danger of going, but I have a bad feeling about the voting habits of a lot of vulnerable females.     

David Cook: I'm Alive and All I Really Need is You. The judges are so in love with him, they can't bring themselves to point out that both of his songs also sounded the same: "modern rock" arrangements, start out soft, build to a big, shouted ending. The judges also are seeing nonwinner Chris Daughtry's millions of sales dancing in their heads and remembering that they egged along his ejection by telling him he needed to stop with that repetitive modern rock stuff. Cook matches up well with Daughtry, and he has more talent and stage presence than Castro. And he'll deservedly still cruise to the final.

Brooke White: I'm A Believer and I Am ... I Said. Her entire first song was a war between the key it was played in and the key her voice was trying to sing it in. By the second song, I was thinking of Christopher Guest's A Mighty Wind and his mockumentary folk group The New Main Street Singers.    

David Archuleta: Sweet Caroline and America. Sweet Caroline was the best vocal of the first round. And Archuleta is nothing if not audience savvy. If he didn't do Heartlight for his second song, he was going to do America. Simon was right, America was a smart choice. Performance was ragged, but Archuleta's voice is so good, his personality so cuddly -- and his fans so fervent -- it didn't matter. He's also still on track for the final two.    

Syesha Mercado: Hello Again and Thank the Lord for the Night Time. She had the best overall vocals, and a few moments of connection in the second song, but overall her night was another one of "Aren't I just the greatest singer! ... That's a rhetorical question."    

Who will go? Before the show started, it was going to be either Jason, Brooke or Syesha. Their performances didn't change that. Fan-base voting has had a bigger impact this season than in the past, so as much as Jason or Brooke should go based on performance, any one of the three could could be out.     

Comments

[Marissa]

Ha! Love the "Mighty Wind" reference. The only thing that would have tickled me finer was a double feature with "Waiting For Guffman."

Anyway, maybe due to my shoes being too tight I was cranky, but this night seriously blew and sucked at the same time. Egads! Sheesh!

Lovely review, Sharon. You're very gracious to the performers on this night, the night of the Diamond.

I hope you're not insulted when I declare that I miss Sean's additional snarkentary during and after the show.

[sparky]

I knew Neil was releasing a new album/CD but I didn't know he was giving me a birthday present. By the way, next Tuesday I will not be in for the Snarkathon. I will be at my local CD emporium getting my copy of Neil and celebrating my last 365 days of my 30's.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Sharon,

I share your dismay at this season's voting patterns. I understand it's not the presidential race (although those voting patterns are pretty screwy as well), but there's little entertainment value in a competition with all the analytical democracy of the race for 5th Grade Class President.

[SharonF]

Marissa, I'm not insulted at all. I miss Sean's snark, too. The motto of we subs is what Thomas Jefferson said when he took Ben Franklin's place as U.S. representative to France: "I am here not to replace Franklin, just to make sure his bar bills are paid." Or something to that effect.

Jeff, I have an ongoing left brain-right brain debate about Idol voting. I want to see the good people rewarded, but I understand that entertainment isn't driven by talent alone. And I'm still bitter about Michael Johns.

[Marissa]

Wow! Sparky is soon to be no longer 30 something. Tell ya what, Sparky. It's not bad. I've been comfortable in the 40s for about 3 years. The only thing that gets tougher is dropping poundage from my rear end.

[Bassnote]

Sparky, 40 is not so bad. I'll be celebrating my 41st near the end of the month.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Listen to all you youngun's getting misty about turning 40! Everyone knows that 50 is the new 40.

Which is good news for me, because as of this summer I'll be closer to the new 40 than the old 40.