IDOL RECAP: Aussie Loses, McCain Wins

Despite looking like both Tim Daly and Sean Daly, Aussie hunk Michael Johns was bounced from American Idol Thursday night. My apologies to both Sharon Fink (my colleague who picked him to win) and Marissa (the blogger who picked him to stalk).

The night's biggest winner? John McCain, whose message to Idol fans was for more likable (or at least entertaining) than spots by Clinton and Obama.

I'd love to chat more, but the Forever Fiancee went out with her friends, and my daughters are bawling their eyes out. Apparently, they too were fans of Michael Johns.

BOTTOM THREE: Michael Johns, Syesha Mercado, Carly Smithson

AND THE EIGHTH-PLACE FINISHER IS...Michael Johns

YOUR TOP SEVEN: Brooke White, David Cook, David Archuleta, Jason Castro, Kristy Lee Cook, Syesha Mercado, Carly Smithson

Comments

[Jeff in Cuba]

I'm onboard with Syesha and Brooke, but I'm going to make a dark-horse selection for the third stool of doom:

The-Artist-Formerly-Known-As-Skullet.

As for who hits the road, I can already see the self-absorbed Syesha sitting on her suitcase at LAX waiting for the American Airlines flight to Miami that is never going to come. And while it may seem like she's looking at other flight options; she's really just checking out her reflection in the 'Departures' monitor.

I'll check in later tonight.

[Sean Daly]

I've heard the rumors that David Cook could get whacked. But really? The charm wore off after one craptastic performance? That's brutal.

[jane]

I'm with the lovely Sharon regarding the bottom three: Syesha, Carly and Brooke. As far as the boot-ee goes, let's say... Carly. Just because her name came up in my quick-fire game of Eeney Meeney Miney Moe.

I don't think it's David C's time yet -- his fan base should be able to sustain him through one Meh performance, I do believe.

And because I love The Snark oh-so-much, I'm going to DVR 30 Rock (THE best comedy on TV right now) and hang here for the fun.

[Jeff in Cuba]

I don't think DC will get the heave-ho, but I think he may get to visit the "just-kidding,-you-can-go-sit-on-the-couch-now" third stool.

[Sean Daly]

FAIR WARNING: It's girls' night out in the Sound, so the FF is leaving me with Lu and Two. So...

Kids + "Idol" - the FF = Much sadness

[Marissa]

Well hot damn for FF!

I spent much of my day mulling over the many possiblities for the "TP-3" resulting from a less than inspiring night of music. I have no results as I'm sick of being wrong.

I'd love to see Kristy go, but country lovers are strong and plentiful. I doubt she'll go home. With that being said, she's probably going home.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Awright, let's get this over with.

[Marissa]

Googillion dollars.

[Marissa]

Ah, my Annie. Sean, did you get the link I sent you for the vid of her performance?

[Dede]

I'm trying to remember whose version of Many Rivers to Cross I heard first. What a song.

[jane]

Would it have been Jimmy Cliff, Dede?

[Jeff in Cuba]

Wasn't 150 minutes enough last night?

Let's get on with the doinking.

[Dede]

When did the show become a revival meeting?

[Dede]

Yeah, Jane, Jimmy Cliff would be my guess. I'll have to go find it.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Can we spend a few of those 60 million clams to buy Carly something with sleeves?

[Bassnote]

Syesha must go tonight.

[Marissa]

http://profile.imeem.com/t8uRlm/music/GsALuXnl/jimmy_cliff_many_rivers_to_cross/

Dede, enjoy.

[Dede]

I sure hope it's KLC, but I don't think it will be. I'm so tired of her stance when she sings -- she looks like Thor.

[Marissa]

Syesha doesn't bother me nearly as much as The Star Spangled Ska*nk.

[Marissa]

Dede! Thank you! Me too!

[Marissa]

Eddie Izzard! I so dig his stand up.

[Dede]

Thank YOU, Ris, for the link. Sweet!

[Jeff in Cuba]

When's Monkees Week?

[jane]

While I would like to see KLC get the pointy-toe boot as much as the next person, I don't believe she's going anywhere, at least tonight.

I'm thinking it's Syesha or Carly. That's what my Spidey Sense is telling me, anyway.

[jane]

Monkees Week? EEEE! I love them. Shut up.

My fave: Peter, followed by Mickey.

[Jeff in Cuba]

That's one wrong already.

I'm K-Mart Sean Daly.

[Dede]

Yay, DC is safe!

[Jeff in Cuba]

Two wrong.

I couldn't be doing any worse.

[Marissa]

Hey! Daddy Dearest got a new hat

[Dede]

You shut up, Jane. It's Micky all the way.

[Sean Daly]

You're welcome, Brooke.

Jeff in Cuba will NOT win a million dollars tomorrow. (You're welcome, JIC. Spend it wisely.)

Marissa will NOT marry Steve Spears next year. (Sorry, Marissa. But at least the honeymoon will be fun.)

[jane]

Dede, all we need now is a Davy lover and a Mike lover and we can form our own Monkees fan club! Yay!

[Marissa]

::snort:: Sean, you are killin' me!

[Jeff in Cuba]

Despite my obviously miserable Bottom 3 predictions, I'm still in the running to get the doinkee correct.

C'mon Syesha, don't let me down!

[Marissa]

Ladies, I was always diggin' Mike. He was tall and goofy. Davey is too short. Although, I gurgled during The Brady Bunch Movie when he sang, "Girl" with the rock band. I have it on iTunes.

[jane]

I just had a moment when I thought I might cave and go watch 30 ROCK!!! in real time. But with the bottom three looking to be rather interesting, I think I'll stick with the Good Ship Snark instead.

[Jeff in Cuba]

How bad do these Thursday celebs feel?

"Yeah, sorry Ricki, but we couldn't fit you in last night."

"But the show was almost three hours long..."

"Well, maybe next year we can go longer. Sorry."

"I gotta get a new agent!"

[Dede]

Davy was my second fave -- hey, I was short then too.

This Forrest Whitaker piece is tearing (and tearing) me up.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Jordin's starting to look more and more like her dad...

...when he was in his pads.

She could snap Chris Brown over her knee like an Olive Garden breadstick.

[Marissa]

Chunky but Funky, right Sean?

[Bassnote]

That was terrible. If the backing track broke down that would have been great comedy.

[Bassnote]

I've been flipping between this and the Cubs game, and i downloaded the Annie Lennox song from iTunes.

[Sean Daly]

I've iTuned a few things: Lennox, Daughtry, Carrie Underpants and Miley (c'mon, it's for my kid).

[jane]

I also hit iTunes for stuff... like Snoop. And Annie. Would've picked up Seasons of Love, but it's only available in video. And I don't need to watch those folks while I sing along loudly.

[Dede]

Uh oh, I see "Everyone is safe" coming.

[Bassnote]

Castro needs to be in the bottom three, but he is safe again.

[Marissa]

OH hell freakin' NO!!!!!!!!!

[Bassnote]

Michael Johns is in the bottom three!!!

[Jeff in Cuba]

Riss,

Are you sweating your 'Roo?

[Bassnote]

Something is seriously messed up if KLC gets more votes than the Aussie.

[Marissa]

I voted my finger tips off, too. Razzin' frazzin'

[Marissa]

Ugh, I'm on the verge of pissy right now.

[sparky]

So what did I miss snark and snarkettes?

[Marissa]

That's it. Is KLC the VFTW poster dip*shi*t?

[Marissa]

Sparky! Sparky! Roo is in the bottom three. ROO! MY ROO!

[Jeff in Cuba]

Fear not, Riss.

They could put Annie Lennox and Mother Teresa in the bottom 3, and it wouldn't matter because Syesha is taking the fall.

I hope.

[jane]

Not surprised at the chicks in the B3, but MJ is a bit of a shock. However, I would guess that he'll be OK. This might very well be a wake-up call for him.

[Marissa]

but, but, but I wanted to be his wake up call.

[sparky]

So is Sayesha. Hope she brushed up on her whitney.

[jane]

¡Hola, sparky! You're just in time for the Big Doink. Want some potato juice? I'm pouring...

[Bassnote]

GET HILLARY OFF THE SCREEN!!!

[Bassnote]

NO MORE PRESIDENTIAL HOPEFULS!!!

[sparky]

Wow McCain with the Democratic dig.

[DoctorDrew]

Hi guys here. TiVO in hold as my wife won't get off the damn phone.

downloaded the same off itunes as sean plus the group song from tonight for my wife. She's pissing me off so much right now I might not load it on her iPod for her!!!! But I love me love Annie Lennox. Thx for the Jimmie Cliff Riss

[Bassnote]

I'M SICK OF SEEING THESE PEOPLE!!

[sparky]

I'm liquid free tonight.

[Marissa]

You're welcome Doctor Drew. I love Annie. She's bombastic!

[Jeff in Cuba]

I guess I could make a "Bottom 3" comment about presidential candidates, but why bother...

[Marissa]

Jeez, I hope the kid knows CPR. If Roo goes down (and i mean that in the unpleasant way), I might need a crash cart.

[sparky]

Get the paddles ready for Ris.

Clear. Beep Beep Beep Clear Beep Beep Beep Clear BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

[jane]

sparky, i need a chart to keep up with your drinking/non-drinking nights.

and doctordrew! be nice to the missus -- it's probably a very important phone call she's on.

[Dede]

Riss, you might need a crash cart the other way too. ::wink::

[sparky]

Drink on the singing night. It helps the performances.

Liquid free on result night.

[Marissa]

hehehe Dede. Indeed!

[Bassnote]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

[sparky]

Roo just pulled a Daughtry. His album will be out by Labor Day.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Riss, be cool.

Hide the sharp objects!

[Dede]

Stunned

[Bassnote]

Marissa... are you still breathing?

[jane]

thank you sparky. duly noted for future snarking and sassing purposes.

[Bassnote]

What a crock of @#$%^!

[Bassnote]

Can you say FIX.

[Marissa]

This is just so incredibly F*CKED UP!

[sparky]

Ris are you breathing?

[Jeff in Cuba]

It was the neckwear; it had to be the neckwear..

[Bassnote]

Marissa?

[Marissa]

bullsh*tbullsh*tbullsh*tbullsh*tbullsh*t

[Marissa]

Simon, you need to just cram it in your cram hole!

[jane]

Holy mother of madeline. that's a total shocker.

has marissa gone into shock?

[Marissa]

yet that freakin' squating insipid twit remains.

[Bassnote]

If these results are real (which I doubt every year), America #^%#$ up big time.

[Dede]

Well, we know voters are not the best when it comes to any kind of voting. This is messed up.

[jane]

America @#(&*&%'s up big time every year.

Thus my love/hate relationship with this damn show.

[giant head]

What the FREAKIN' HELL?????!!!

This is SO STUUUUPID!!!! ICK!!

Syesha's stupid, baby crying, self absorbed self STAYS?!!!

KLC still here and Michael Johns GONE!!!

This show blows....

[Jeff in Cuba]

Riss,

Look at it this way: your chances of running into a depressed and "fit-shaced" Michael Johns in an airport bar just went way up.

So you got that going for you.

[sparky]

I'm telling you he planned his exit. He gets to sign with anyone know.

[Marissa]

YEah, you all stand there near the couch and be grateful... I wanna reach out and b*tz*ch slap somebody.

[Marissa]

Giant Head! YOu took the words right out of my ... keyboard.

[Marissa]

BUT MY EYE CANDY, SEXY ROCKIN' ROO IS GONNNNNNNNNNNNNNE

Oh, the snark is gonna really hit the fan now, people. You ain't seen nothin' yet.

[Dede]

Ooooh, Riss -- I just flashed on "Wicked."

[sparky]

This is the biggest upset since Dewey beat Truman.

[DoctorDrew]

WOW. Just wow.

Typical idol mid season fix.

Riss, just drink more tequila and it will all be better in the morning. Trust me, I am a doctor.

[Bassnote]

I blame this on Clinton, McCain & O'Bama.

[Marissa]

And I own Red Heels and striped thigh high witchy-poo stockings. lol It's on! The spam filter doo-hickey won't let me rant properly... and that's pissin' me off!

[Dede]

Marissa's defying gravity!

[Jeff in Cuba]

I'd like to interupt the snark for my own "Idol Gives Back" message.

Hi, I'm Jeff in Cuba. Each year thousands of midwestern single mothers are tragically denied the eye candy they need to keep the gossamer threads of their hormonal balance from snapping like twigs. But you can help. Your vote for hunky boy toys will not only help your single Mom neighbors, but will will also help insure the world tequila supply for the rest of us. So vote for the hunk; the margarita you save may be your own.

[Marissa]

Well, I'll try to look at the bright side ::sobbing:: there's plenty of KLC to snark about now. ::tantrum:: I mean, really would I want him to be held captive by the evil bonds of American Idol? No, but ::sniff:: I live in a small town where few good looking men reside. I have to find eye candy on blogs and TV. IT's just not fair!

::snort::

[Marissa]

Jeff, you are the best. That's fabulous. Oh dear me. Oh, that's rich. That's perfect. Bless you.

[sparky]

Jeff, have you ever been to Guam in your service to our fine country that doesn't support our Aussie allies?

[Jeff in Cuba]

Sparky,

Harriot and I met in Guam.

Why do you ask?

[mrstreme]

Sorry to miss the chat tonight, folks, and I am doubly sorry for poor Marissa. That was a premature exit of amazing proportions. =(

[sparky]

My employer offered me an assignment in Guam. Wanted to know if it's worth it to even explore.

[Eric Deggans]

An Idol result like this is the kind of thing that makes me wonder whether the producers have a finger of the scale, so to speak....

http://blogs.tampabay.com/media/2008/04/american-idols.html

[Eric Deggans]

excuse me, "finger ON the scale"

[Jeff in Cuba]

Sparky,

Guam was a lot of fun. Great diving, friendly culture, and a real 'small town' feel (maybe not as small as GTMO, but small nonetheless).

What's the nature of the job? The Navy's about to pump a billion or two of your tax dollars into construction on Guam, so a lot of people are going to be thinking about making the move.

What else do you need to know?

[sparky]

Civil Engineer. Going to be building what you just described.

How is the housing, health care, etc...

[Jeff in Cuba]

Sparky,

I haven't been there since '92, so my info won't be too current. Besides, I i=only used Navy housing and health care, which is pretty much the same wherever you go.

I do know that the schools are a challenge. That's why the Department of Defense built their own school.

Oddly enough, I have a good friend heading out to Guam to be the Officer in Charge of Construction. I just talked to him today.

Small world (but I wouldn't want to paint it!)

Well he probably would be my boss as far as the client goes. I can honestly say that I would look forward to it but I don't know if I can live on an island. But I think I would be the right guy for the job. Just got a 150 million bridge project done on time and under budget.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Sparky,

If you're itching for an adventure, I've got an opening for a civil engineer.

The Caribbean sun, the safety of the ultimate gated community, and best of all, working for me.

Pretty tempting, eh?

[sparky]

Jeff, Sounds like I would be the one making out big time. Do I get the beach front digs or are they reserved for our guests from the Middle East?

[Sean Daly]

Sparky Goes to Guam? Is that really the best life decision?

Oh lord, please don't name Pop Life in the eventual lawsuit.

[sparky]

I was just curious about it. It is always good to think about being adventurous.

By the way, what do they call Hawaiian shirts in Guam?

[jane]

Sparky Goes to Guam! Sounds like a movie I'd pay to see in the theater. Twice, even.

[sparky]

So Sparky goes to Guam becomes a movie? I like it. I could be the Chris Farley of Guam.

So who is coming along to be my straight man?

[jane]

I'd volunteer for that role (I do exasperated really well), but I fail to meet the primary qualification to be a straight man. Alas.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Sparky,

The accomodations in GTMO can be pretty sweet.

Check out Casa de Jeff:

http://profile.imeem.com/1vc-cFF/photo/J7tgj5N0wo/

[Bassnote]

They finally put Heart's performance on Idol gives back as a single on iTunes. About freakin' time.