IDOL RECAP: She Shoulda Listened to Me

If Carly Smithson had followed my celebrity-enhancement advice -- for instance, staggering the besotted streets of West Hollywood and sucker-punching Willie Aames to juice her boring reputation -- she might have won American Idol this year. 'Cause the Irish lass could sing. Instead, her blah personality finally caught up with her Wednesday. She had killer ink, but no edge. She needed a little rock 'n' roll rebellion. That leaves four singers...oh, and Brooke White.

Next week features the great Neil Diamond as a mentor. David Cook doing "Solitary Man"? Archuleta weeping "Hello Again"? Castro and his E.T. mug doing "Heartlight"? We'll see...

THE BOTTOM-DWELLERS...Syesha Mercado and Carly Smithson

AND THE SIXTH-PLACE FINISHER IS...Carly Smithson

YOUR TOP FIVE... David Cook, David Archuleta, Brooke White, Jason Castro, Syesha Mercado

Comments

[Marissa]

7:47 p.m. I like that. Odd and strikingly funny.

Not funny? Starting a song on national television and stopping it. Then, restarting with a pained look that you're fighting your 1st of 19 nervous breakdowns.

[Spears]

"Barry, bopping and doinking are the same thing.."

[Jeff in Cuba]

It's becoming increasingly clear that this year's AI will come down to the two David's (would it kill one of them to go by "Dave"?) The other four will drop off, one by one.

Consequently, the next few weeks are going to be about as exciting as watching other peoples' kids play T-Ball. We may not know exactly what's going to happen, but we know how it's going to end.

Wake me when they pass out the Teddy Grahams and juice boxes.

[Dede]

Surf Shop, eh? Does that make SD Moondoggie?

[Spears]

The only Moon that Daly likes is a Moon Pie. And the only doggie, well, never mind.

[Forever Fiancee]

The Idol Chat and Surf Shop opens at 8:47, eh? I hope you have your multi-tasking super powers ready, SD. You're going to have to blog AI while feeding your 3-month-old Two Two and cleaning the bathroom toilet in honor of Momma Daly's arrival tomorrow.

Maybe I should take over your blogging duties tonight since my only plans are to sit on the couch, watch TV and eat bon-bons.

I agree with Janet - Castro's a goner. Who the hell told him that singing something from Cats was a good idea? They should be slapped.

[Marissa]

If SD is Moondoggie, then Steve must be Erik Von Ripper.

[Marissa]

Drat! I meant Erik Von ZIPPER. Typing is not my forte.

[Sean Daly]

Ooooh, the FF is feisty tonight. I like that. Should be a hot night.

Can you say "Kid ThreeThree"?

[idle]

that last was freaking hilarious

[Dede]

So who's Gidget?

[Marissa]

I realize I cross-referenced beach movies.
Von Zipper is from The Beach Blanket set along with Bonehead.

Big Kahuna and Moondoggie are from the Gidget flicks.

[Ian from Down Under]

It's an exciting time for the guys now that the surf shop has opened, because borrowing the lyrics from Jan and Dean -

Ya, we're goin' to Surf City, 'cause it's two to one
You know we're goin' to Surf City, gonna have some fun, now
Two girls for every boy

It's party time.

[Marissa]

Ah, and the fantasy for menage et trois is set to be-boppin' surf tunage. It never ceases.

[Jeff in Cuba]

OK, I'm going to try again tonight.

Hopefully I can keep the power on this time.

As for a prediction...

The way I see it, it's a toss-up between Jason and Brooke. So the smart choice would be:

Syesha, since I clearly don't know what I'm talking about.

[Sean Daly]

The Pop Life Idol Chat & Surf Shop is officially open!

Now who has the sex wax?

[Dede]

How about Surf Week on Idol? Makes more sense than Andrew Lloyd Webber...

[Marissa]

I have candles. Does that count for something?

[Ian from Down Under]

How about SD wearing the "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" whilst serving on the counter at the surf shop for old times sake.

[Marissa]

Uh, I was thinking more along the lines of the cajones huggin' Tom Selleck shorts, Ian. But whatever suits your fancy.

[Ian from Down Under]

We all know Sean has an "Itsy Bitsy" tucked away in his closet somewhere.

[Dede]

What's everybody drinking tonight? In honor of the weird but elegant Sir Andrew, I'm having red wine. Cheers!

[Marissa]

In honor of not having anything else in the house, I'm drinking Mike's Hard Cranberry something or other. It'll get a buzz on. I only had a spinach salad for din din.

[Sean Daly]

Those Mike's are so damn sweet and syrupy. The hangover is brutal muck mouth. Now Crown Royal, on the other hand...

[Marissa]

I don't intend on drinking enough to have muck mouth. I would LOVE some Crown Royal. Sadly, the cupboard is bare.

[jane]

I'm drinking grey goose & tonic and planning on alternating between Our National Trainwreck and the Celts/Hawks playoff game. Pardons requested in advance if i post about the wonders of a Ray Allen three-point shot here -- just means that the GG has taken over and I'm merely confused.

[Dede]

Did anyone see the judges on Larry King last week? It was pretty interesting. Simon said that Syesha is really an actress who can sing, rather than a singer. Think she proved that last night. I was surprised he didn't say it again last night. Anyway, I'm going to venture that she saved herself for another week. I'm gonna pick Brooke to go, though it may be wishful thinking...

[Jeff in Cuba]

Did someone say Sean in a bikini?

http://www.imeem.com/people/1vc-cFF/photo/j-3pUG4NtX/

[Marissa]

oooh, it's about time for the all group sing along. Who might they pimp out tonight? Could it be a David?

[Marissa]

Jeff, that is so freakin' hot! Woo, a warmth just came over me.

[Marissa]

Brooke needs to stick around if for nothing other than the all out breakdown on stage ... LIVE!

[Jeff in Cuba]

All I ask of you is no more ALW,

[Dede]

LOL, Jeff! Well done. And a great distraction from the group sing!

[Marissa]

Has anyone noticed (duh) how often Syesha is always searching for the camera? How annoying.

[Ian from Down Under]

Thanks for that Jeff, I think it brought out the Wookie in Miss Riss though.

[Dede]

Riss, you're right about that whole 19th nervous breakdown thing. Would be something to see.

[jane]

You know, I love musical theatre almost, but not quite as much as I love television -- with one exception. ALW. zzzzzzz...

Plus, ALW was Maxwell Sheffield's nemesis, thus giving me even more reason to not dig him.

[Jeff in Cuba]

If Syesha needs to be on camera all the time she's going to love the convenience store where she'll be working next week.

[Sean Daly]

Why must you people volley about my severed head?

[Marissa]

It's such a cute severed head, Sean. So many uses!

hahaha jeff.. nice.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Riss,

You may want to take a deep breath before you click on this:

http://www.imeem.com/people/1vc-cFF/photo/NRIoKxpJu3/

[Marissa]

OK, that lip chewing thing Brooke does is reallllllllly irritating me. Sheesh. You jacked up the song, sweetie. Get over it.

[Marissa]

Oh dear Lord, Jeff. And the snow has melted here. Good gracious!!

[Jeff in Cuba]

I need to hear Sir Andrew's opinion of Simon Cowell about as much as I need to see the Pope's fantasy baseball team.

[giant head]

ugh! Why do they keep defending Brooke's screw up??? Go away, Brooke!!

Although, part of me does have to agree... if she does stay, watching a live meltdown would be fun...

[Marissa]

HA! I'm so glad people are on board with me for the uber meltdown that is Brooke White.

[Sean Daly]

Did Spears send you that picture? He took that of me when I helped him move today. He said he was just "testing his flash."

[Marissa]

That doesn't mean I don't like her singing. It's fine. I'd download it if it was a freebie on iTunes or Amazon.

[sparky]

I have to Runaway from this song and it's Tainted vocals.

[Dede]

Homage to Danny Noriega!

[Marissa]

I'm curious. Why were your pants undone, Sean?

[Jeff in Cuba]

Why do they insist on calling it the "Ford Music Video"?

[Marissa]

Ah, and then there were 2. As in Number Two. Aka poop.

[sparky]

Why are there only two stool samples.

[Marissa]

HEy look! It's the finale come early.

[Jeff in Cuba]

They are going to pimp the David's to the couch and then break up the other 4 into 2 groups and make us guess which group goes where.

[Sean Daly]

I popped a button installing Steve's pleasure swing.

[sparky]

I am glad I came in here stealth like a silent but deadly air biscuit.

[jane]

The Pope's Fantasy Baseball Team: Jesús Alou, Jesús Colome, Jesús Figueroa, Víctor Santos...

[Marissa]

They need to not talk to David Archuleta.

[Marissa]

HAHA! Sean! ::snort::

Sparky, unlike the deadly air biscuit, your presence is welcome.

[sparky]

It's Neil Diamond week next week! Who goes with Sweet Caroline.

[Carla]

Pants undone.... pleasure swing. What the heck did I miss ???

[Marissa]

Sean's visit to Steve's new pad.

[sparky]

Did anybody see the AT&T commercial with Meatloaf? Was that Tiffany in it?

[Sean Daly]

Loving that "Hancock" clip. Also kinda geeked about "Iron Man" "The Incredible Hulk" and "Indiana Jones."

Oh yeah, I'm a real babe magnet.

[Jeff in Cuba]

The Pope only drafts Padres.

And A-Rod (he's religious, but he's not an idiot!)

[Marissa]

Oh man! You should see the new GQ featuring Robert Downey Jr. Holy Hot hoodlum, Batman.

[sparky]

I too am waiting for Iron Man. It is a must see.

[Marissa]

I'm just so jazzed that RDj is coming back. I didn't count Ally McBeal.

[Sean Daly]

Hey, anybody see "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"? The FF and I might have a date this weekend. Dinner, movie, drinks, accusations, reconciliation in high heels. It'll be a hoot.

[Marissa]

Oh gawd, is this the shrill and shriek chick they compare to Mariah?

[giant head]

If you like sophmoric comedy, "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" was pretty funny... I saw it yesterday. It's a great brain vacation...

[sparky]

And Leona ain't too hard on the eyes either.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Clay Aiken's not-so-slow transformation into Barry Manilow is almost complete.

It's Barry Manilow or Wayland Flowers, I can't remember which.

[Marissa]

Steve Persall says it's view worthy, Sean.

[Sean Daly]

I kinda like this Leona Lewis song, said the music critic instantly regretting his words.

[Marissa]

This appears lip synched. Anyone?

[jane]

Wayland Flowers. Only because with Wayland you get Madame. And she rocks.

[Dede]

At least there's no shrieking yet.

And Jeff, maybe it's Madam.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Leona's voice sound's more altered than Peter Frampton's answering machine.

Better singing through technology...

[Marissa]

Zoinks! I'll get tired of this one quickly.

[sparky]

Jeff, but Clay doesn't write the songs that make the world sing.

[Marissa]

Like now.

[Sean Daly]

"If you like sophmoric comedy..."?

It's like you don't even know me, Giant Head.

[Carla]

Little tired of this song... my friend has it on repeat in her car!

[sparky]

Actually SD don't you still like the pull my finger trick?

[Marissa]

Wow! Paula's br#asts are at attention this evening.

[sparky]

And I salute them.

[giant head]

You know what's wierd? I hit "post" and our comments about "Sarah Marshall" popped up simultaneously... I posted that without seeing your question.

So, yes... you'll LOVE it. It's actually very funny. I really liked it.

[jane]

Better singing through technology often requires better living through chemistry on the part of the listener. Egad.

[Jeff in Cuba]

America really needs to take its meds...

[Marissa]

cuz it's just her 19th nervous breakdown ... the verge there of

[Marissa]

well, ain't that a kick in the head?

[sparky]

WOW! Is Tattoo You going home.

[Jeff in Cuba]

It's like Russian freaking roulette this season.

[Marissa]

Nice follow through the the Stones theme, Sparky. Youre on my vibe, duuude.

[Jeff in Cuba]

It's a surprise, but not too earth-shattering.

We all know the four non-David's will be walking at some point in the next month.

Which of the four horsemen leaves when doesn't make it any less apocolyptic.

[Marissa]

I'm wondering if Jason Castro is hoping to get back to the beach. "uhh, gaherrr. dude. hemp rules. wahh? stop bogarting, dude."

[Guy]

These performances have me longing for the talent that is/was KLC.

Looks like I'll be directing my support (and 10,000 weekly votes) towards Carly Brooke Simon.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Can't say I saw that coming...

[Carla]

Jason should have gone home tonight. That's all those little teenie boppers voting for him! I really liked Carly last night.

[sparky]

Now she can shave her head and rip up pictures of the Pope with Sinead.

[Marissa]

Shazam! cue Twilight Zone music.

[Guy]

I blame red state backlash for her tattooed husband.

[Marissa]

She's only just begun... to live. White lace and promises... A tat for luck and she's on her way....

[Dede]

Yep & she's a ferriner -- this is Amurican Idol.

[sparky]

Mrs Sparky just made a comment that when Carly sang her song tonight she made a comment about remembering all the words. She thought it may have been a shot across the bow at Brooke.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Anyone remember my diatribe on how AI performances and AI voting have become completely separate show elements?

Case in point.

They might as well dispense with Neil Diamond and just have "Rock, Paper, Scissors Week".

[Marissa]

Apparently the ALW aficianados picked up on several flubbed lyrics last night. Including the Golden Child Archuleta.

[Marissa]

"I am, I said" Will be rocked by David Cook. I'm just calling it for sh*ts and giggles.

[sparky]

Well Carly can't sing Coming to America, that's for sure.

[Dede]

Good one, Riss. Maybe Castro doing "America'?

[Dede]

Alright, Sparky - great minds...

[Work Wife]

Sorry for steering you wrong, Sean. I can now confess I voted for Jason, my old college boyfriend. I know, I know. We are so over.

[Marissa]

"Song Sung Blue" Castro
"Forever In Blue Jeans" ~ Brooke White
"I am, I said" ~ David Cook (or the other one I said)
"Love on the Rocks" ~ David Archuleta and he'll give a shout out to Sean Daly while he closes his eyes.
"Beautiful Noise" ~ Syesha

[Marissa]

HA! I meant "America" for Cook or the other one I said.Sheesh. I'm watching Witches of Eastwick

[sparky]

Take it back Ris. Brooke can't sing Forever in Blue Jeans. That is my favorite Neil Diamond song.

[Marissa]

Ok, I retract the statement. She's going to sing Hello, Again.

[Marissa]

I sang "Hello, Again" in high school.

Did you remember the words. No restarts, right.

[Marissa]

Actually, Castro could pull off "CHerry Cherry" with his uke.

[Marissa]

I sang it without stumbling. Although, one time, I got the mic too close to my mouth and bipped myself.

[Marissa]

Good one, Sean: Solitary Man. DC will drag out the electric guitar without a doubt.

[Eric Deggans]

americna idol has crowned a new Sanjaya -- Brooke White and Jaason Castro

http://blogs.tampabay.com/media/2008/04/american-idol-c.html

[Marissa]

Here's one that Castro could sing to the groupies in the mock pit. Oh wait, Urge Overkill did a semi-rockin' cover of this that DC can cop ownership of.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzL-wzCxfD8

[Dede]

Wait...David Archuleta IS E.T., isn't he??

[sparky]

Castro - Acapulco
Chachi - Kol Nidre
Skeletor - Beautiful Noise
Brooke - Amazed and Confused
Syesha - You Baby

[Marissa]

Who ever asked if that was Tiffany in the AT&T wireless with Meatloaf the answer is YES.

[sparky]

That was me. Who is the kid?

[Marissa]

Not a clue. Maybe it's Mini-Meat.

[Marissa]

"Thank the Lord for the Night Time (and my night light)" ~ Little Davey

[Marissa]

All this Neil Diamond talk is making me get download itchy. Blast!
So many remind me of my childhood. I might get weepy. Hold me ::sniffle::

here's one of my ND faves.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tb3KGwg1n1k

[Marissa]

In order to uphold my promise, I am posting this here, Sean.

Analog Heart ~ David Cook's digital CD was beating Mariah Carey's screechfest. Yesterday, I noticed it was pulled. Now, it's all the talk online. I'm still searching for an explanation. All there is is speculation. It was produced under his self named label. So, there ya have it.
Somebody? Anybody? Conspiracy theorists? Bring on the dirt. I want dirt.
Thanks.

[DoctorDrew]

Song choice killed her. I didn't pick up on it until I found many people upset with her singing JC, Superstar at the watercooler.

I believe they still think people who wear tatoos are satanic or something. Or they are offended by the musical.

I was just stunned when DA didn't sing something from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.