IDOL RECAP: Under the Rainbow

Ramiele Malubay was voted off American Idol Wednesday night. And if there's any consolation for the Polynesian Pixie, it's that she's not nearly as bad at singing as I am at predicting this godforsaken show.

Week after week (and weak after weak), Malubay avoided the dreaded Bottom Three, even though she stunk things up pretty good onstage -- and even though I said she was history. But naturally, the one week I predict that she's safe, that she's bargained with the Prince of Darkness, that she's harnessed all the evil in the world to protect her...she gets voted off.

Again, I suck. So there. (To read people who don't suck, check out the Pop Life Comments section, which was brilliant tonight.)

Next week is the whole "Idol Gives Back" thingie, but we'll open up the Pop Life Idol Chat anyway. We'll just snark for charity. Yeah, that's it. Charity.

BOTTOM THREE: Ramiele Malubay, Kristy Lee Cook, Brooke White

AND THE NINTH-PLACE FINISHER IS...Ramiele Malubay

Comments

[Marissa]

YAY! Sean, you and I have the same bottom. Ha! Let me rephrase that. The same bottom three contestants on the Song Ain't Right!
I want to adore Syesha. Had Brooke done, "I will Always Love You" she could have carried off the Dolly "Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" original version of the song. Sadly, Syesha hasn't learned anything by watching the past 6 years of AI. You don't DO the divas if you cannot 1000% deliver a showstopping performance.

I want Ramiele to be on Toilet-Bowl-Row. I want them to give the contestants a double send off where Ramiecottonblend and her barefoot twinkerella pal Kristy drift off into the forgettable sunset.

[DoctorDrew]

Like you Sean, I am certain of 1 thing and that is Ramiele is NOT in the bottom 3 and DEFINITELY is not going home tonight.

Bottom 3:
Syesha
KLC
Carly

Going home: Syesha

[jane]

live from the beautiful residence inn in Knoxville, tn, here are my predictions, based on the half-listening I did last night at my in-laws:

Bottom three:
KLC
Syesha
Jason

Getting the boot from Miss Dolly's stiletto:
Syesha. Evoking not one, but two über-divas with your song choice = kiss of death.

[r2cents]

Oh! Sean! Tonight's the night! Ramiele is going home! I respect the comments, yes, but it's not Syesha; it's Ramiele. Ramiele is Malu-bye-bye tonight.

[r2cents]

Last night was Carly’s best performance. Simon’s right about the wardrobe, but that girl can sing. She’s lacking stage presence, though; they all are, especially little David.

[Marissa]

Sean, I was just reading the last sentence on this post. I once saw a movie where people went to a party and dropped their keys in a bowl. I can assure you concern for drunk driving was NOT the reason ... what'choo tawkin' 'bout, Daly?

[mrstreme]

Please, please, please let it be Ramiele.

[Dede]

Jane, a Fla girl in the land of the Vols? Be careful!

[sparky]

Daly's looking for a possible tradeup from the Mazd. Unfortunately if he picks my keys I will be the winner.

[Steve]

Two Mephistopheles references on Times blogs in one day? That must be a sign that Carly's gone.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Red Four, checking in...

It's been awhile and I'm suffering from DSB (Deadly Snark Build-up).

My anchor trio:

Ramielle
Syesha
Jason

And Syesha gets the boot.

[Don]

Got to believe it is little Remi's night to go. Her body was not even in sync with the music and the performance was just so bad. Syesha is safe for another couple of weeks as next week it should be Jason's week to leave.

[Marissa]

I dunno Don. Horny, err, I mean love struck 17 year olds are really diggin' on Kmart Jack Johnson's Dred-locked vibe.

[Marissa]

By the way, Sparky, I'm impressed with your ability to keep your reply to my comment in a G-rated zone. OK, impressed isn't really the word. More like, disbelieving. I'm away one night and this place has gone to Disney. What gives?

[Jeff in Cuba]

Jason certainly has Harriot in Cuba's vote.

But then again, in Cuba you have no choice but voting for Castro's.

[Marissa]

bwahahahah Jeff. Welcome back!

[sparky]

I'm practicing diversity training. ;)

[Marissa]

I'm rather uncomfortable tonight. My desk chair (which I snagged from work after we got new ones), went kaplooie. Screws fell out. Naturally, I thought to myself, "Screws fall out all the time!"

[Marissa]

Well done, Sparky! I have a gold star for you. Let me smack right on the middle of your forehead

[Dede]

Rami's worried -- what a sour puss look!

[Marissa]

What the hell are they doing on stage? Were they rubbing butts?

[Jeff in Cuba]

Most of these stiff's will be working "9 to 5" soon enough.

Do you want fries with that?

[Sean Daly]

Wow. This sucks.

Good to see Cook is back, tho.

[Marissa]

David Archuleta had a chance to sling Kristy and Ramiele into the mosh pit and he missed it.

[mrstreme]

Disney called. They want their crappy group performances back.

[Marissa]

...and who else is back, Sean? hmmmm?

[r2cents]

9 to 5? Sorry, I've got to go with Comic Book Guy: "Worst Dolly Parton song ever."

[Marissa]

Perhaps if Syesha sang laying on the piano like Michelle Pfeifer did in the Fabulous Baker Boys she'd stand a better chance... guys? Anyone? Anyone?

[sparky]

God that 9 to 5 was such a steaming pile of fecal matter.

[jane]

Dede -- I actually took a couple of my Gator decals off the car before the trip, so as not to evoke any undue angst on the part of tacky Volunteer fans here in Knoxville.

Totally missed the group sing -- and doesn't look like I missed a thing.

Although shorty spice sure looks dour tonight...

[Dede]

Jane, you are a smart woman.

Oh, here's Roo...Yay, safe.

[Jeff in Cuba]

As much as Shorty Spice needs to go, Sean is always quick to point out that Idol loves irony.

So adios, Syesha.

The gal with the biggest rack gets shown the door by Dolly Parton. Classic.

[Marissa]

Happy dancing for my 'Roo!!

[jane]

Is that vintage Dolly on Michael Johns' shirt? Awesome...

[Dede]

Little David is so surprised whenever he is praised. Guess he doesn't get much of THAT at home...

[Marissa]

the Toitey Bowl man is calling!

[sparky]

No stool samples yet, my oh my.

[jane]

Does Chachi's dad EVER take that damn hat off? Dude, male pattern baldness isn't tacky (promise!) -- but wearing that hat all the time is.

[Marissa]

I have this sad vision that David A. is forced to sleep in the closet under the stairs like Harry Potter when he misbehaves.

[sparky]

Miss Ris, have a bad day at work or just feel like laying a beat down to a man. Thought you would have been in a roo-rific mood.

[jane]

Hey sparky -- didja ever get that laundry taken care of last night?

[Marissa]

I want Michael Johns t-shirt. Would that not be awesome for me to wear it? lol

[Kate]

Kate checking in....

And the Bovine gets another go. Sigh.

[mrstreme]

Stage parents. Suck.

Archuleta is talented. No doubt about it. Hopefully when he turns 18, he will dump Daddy Dearest.

[sparky]

Anybody else from Pa. here. I am going to be so glad when our primary is over. I am getting sick of seeing Obama on my tv. I am waiting for him to say "Live long and prosper".

[Jeff in Cuba]

I like Chachi's singing voice, but his speaking voice drives me to distraction.

He's the Ozzy Osborne of the 'tween set.

[Marissa]

Sparky, I'm in a good mood. Excellent.

[jane]

Honest to goodness, I think we need to figure out a way to get a call through during this part...

Yes Jane, did not go into work looking like Jack Klugman.

Checking in from PA. The sooner the better for the end of those #%@*$% adds.

[sparky]

I honestly think Jeff is our best bet. Nobody can turn down a man in uniform.

[Marissa]

Sparky, if you're referring to me smacking a star on your forehead, it would be more like a love-tap. I say it at work all the time. They know I mean it affectionately.

[Marissa]

Fillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfillerfiller

[Kate]

Clark brother looks like the love child of David Cook and Jason Castro

[DoctorDrew]

Shhhh Everyone. There is NO way Shorty Spice is going home.

[Marissa]

What's with the dude getting all down and grudgy on the gee-tar like he's doing a doody on the floor?

[sparky]

I can always use a love tap.

What the F is this? This is a Great American Band?

[jane]

I'm sorry for all you PA folks with the political ads -- damn are they annoying. However, I've been glad to have a little breather from the intensity on the national level.

[mrstreme]

If these guys WON the band contest, I would hate to see the losers.

[sparky]

Where is the GONG?

[Marissa]

Is this performance causing anyone else to twitch ever so slightly?

[DoctorDrew]

This is dreadful.

Should have had Tampa's Warren brothers

[Dede]

Hey, Sean, wasn't there a band from St Pete in that competition? And these guys beat them????

[Marissa]

I can't stop laughing.

[Kate]

My husband: "At least they play instruments."

Me: "Dorky little instruments."

[Sean Daly]

Wow, all of a sudden I looooove the Jonas Brothers.

[sparky]

I live in Wilkes-Barre. How do you think I feel. Hillary and Barrack are spending more time in the area than I am.

[Sean Daly]

And all of sudden I hate Ford.

[Marissa]

Love-tap! Baby Love-tap.. when you see a little star on the head of the dude ...

[jane]

Grunge bluegrass. Who knew?

[sparky]

Wow are they going to plop out the three stool samples all in a row.

[Marissa]

Sean, in your case it would be a For.

[sparky]

A little turd in the making.

[jane]

David Cook. Stubble.

Good night for jane. Oh. Yeah.

[mrstreme]

Yes. Ramiele is finally back on stool row.

[Marissa]

YES!! We were WRONG! Woot! Yippee!! Wrong and happy about it!

[sparky]

Plop, plop.

[Sean Daly]

Figures.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Hope springs eternal.

Maybe Shorty's boots are made for walkin'.

[Marissa]

Yes! We were RIGHT! Woot! Yippee!! Right and Happy about it!

[jane]

And Shorty Spice gets the first stool of doom.

KLC -- our own Debbie Downer.

[DoctorDrew]

Reverse Jinx. Woo Hoo

[mrstreme]

Yes. This is shaping up correctly!

[sparky]

I would rather look at her back, walking out the door.

[Dede]

Dare we hope?...

[Marissa]

::snort:: Sparky. Fitting 'plop,plop' for the toitey seats.

[David-b]

Hey, now thats a great two some on the stools.

[Jeff in Cuba]

KLC can't even get love on Country Week?

She'll never be able to show her face in the trailer park again.

[Marissa]

do you think our collective thoughts can make the results turn to Ramiele? C'mon everybody "ohhhhhhmmmmmm mariskahargitaymariskahargitay-sendramiecottonblendpacking"

[sparky]

West Virginia's phone line must have been cut.

[jane]

DoctorDrew, I'm thinking it's more your personal mojo than reverse psychology that worked that voodoo that you do so well on Shorty Spice.

[Marissa]

ugh! I pray I don't have to listen to Carrie Underwear sing on "Idol Gives Back" night. bleah.

[Marissa]

bucky covington: proof that country music doesn't require much talent

[Kate]

Ahhh! Bucky Covington! Make it stop! He reminds me of those Disney-type mascot characters, he doesn't even need a mask.

[jane]

Look! It's Bo! Please be wearing leather pants... please be wearing leather pants... please be wearing leather pants.

[sparky]

Hey all, just got a call from my buddy. Going to see Asia friday. It was a good day for Sparky. Raise and free tix.

[Marissa]

OH geez! someone send the crash cart for Jane.

[Sean Daly]

Bo Bice looks like one of the Geico cavemen.

[Marissa]

Congratulations, Sparky. I give you a gold star with nothing but affection and no smacks.

[Jeff in Cuba]

What a coincidence, Bo Bice's performances in Season 4 put me in the hospital as well.

[Marissa]

hahahaha Sean. You're killin' me!

[sparky]

Miss Ris. Saw Carrie with the Mrs a few weeks back and she is good and not hard on the eyes. She actually pulled out 2 Guns N Roses songs for her encore, November Rain and Paradise City. It was actually rocking.

[jane]

You hush, Sean Daly. Pfffftttt.

[Marissa]

Ack! November Rain is my least fave G N R song

OMG!! YEAH! YEAH! OMG! SEAN! we're so wrong, but it feels so right!!!!!!!

[sparky]

Jason is the last plop./
\

[jane]

And you too, Jeff. Double pffffftttt.

[Dede]

Someone please explain Brooke's attraction to me? I don't get it.

And hey, maybe America doesn't either -- bottom 3!!!

[sparky]

Bye Bye Rama Langa Ding Gong

[Marissa]

Wow! Man. Whoa. Eeks. Drat. Not Brooke.

[sparky]

Does Simon perform self love during the playback?

[Marissa]

She's boring, Dede, but she would fit on my chillin' on a Saturday afternoon playlist.... with Carole King.

[Marissa]

Does stroking his moobs count as self love, Sparky?

[jane]

Paula better watch the way she's slumping -- her right boob looked perilously close to seeing the light of day on that last camera cut to her.

[Jeff in Cuba]

It looks like Shorty is shopping in the children's section of "Hobbits R' Us"

[Marissa]

Jeff! Again I say Welcome Back!

[sparky]

Mis Ris, whatever makes you feel good.

[Marissa]

Oh, let me count the ways, Sparky.

[sparky]

I'd pay to see that Jane.

[Dede]

I guess, Riss, but I grew up on Carole King. Saw her on the Today show a few weeks ago & her voice is better than ever. Brooke is no Carole King no matter how much I squint, IMO.

[jane]

I like Brooke a lot -- but I'm also a girl with a whole iPod playlist full of nothing but Carole King/Carly Simon/Joni Mitchell/Mary Chapin Carpenter/you get the picture.

[mrstreme]

JANE! A fellow MCC fan! She's so awesome...

[Marissa]

I think under the right set of wings, Brooke could do quite well on the adult contemporary charts.

[Marissa]

oh, and let us not forget her strong morality. So, I wouldn't be surprised if you don't see her appearing on the Christian music charts when Idol is over.

[Dede]

MCC is great!! Love her.

[sparky]

I am sure Hef would help Brooke out on the adult charts.

[jane]

Man, they're killing me *sniff* with these Idol Gives Back sob stories. I'm such a sucker for stuff like that.

[Marissa]

Let me just jump up in agreement about MCC.

[DoctorDrew]

A good plastic surgeon is what's lifting Dolly up.

[Dede]

Not crazy about the song, but Dolly rules.

[sparky]

I thought gravity is pulling Dolly down.

[Kate]

Jane, I agree, on Brooke AND Mary-Chapin-Carpenter. (insert clink of margarita glasses)

[Marissa]

I think we ought to make a blog version of We ARe the World. lol We'll put together clips of all of us singing a heartfelt tune. We'd be a youtube sensation!

[Jeff in Cuba]

I'm not digging Dolly's tight britches.

When my eyes wander south of the Mason-Dixon line on a 62-year-old woman, I'm not interested in seeing a lot of detail.

[jane]

MCC rocks my world. I seriously listened to "Come On Come On" every single day for a year. Wore out two cassettes.

What is La Parton wearing? She's like a sparkly silver matador.

[DoctorDrew]

OK, who's taller Shorty Spice or MCC?

[Marissa]

lol Jeff. Oh man. I thought it, but actually refrained from saying it.

[sparky]

Go to youtube and type in Heynabonics and you'll get a taste of where Sparky grew up.

[mrstreme]

It doesn't matter. MCC rocks and Shorty Spice just stinks. =)

[Kate]

J -- Why Walk When You Can Fly is my personal mantra, LOVE it

[Marissa]

Sean's inner dialogue: "she has big b*oo*bs. they scare me. I prefer smallish ones.. like, Simon's moobs. Those are divine."

[Dede]

Isn't everyone taller than Shorty Spice?

[Marissa]

I meant Ryan's inner dialogue ... wrong Irish name.

[jane]

Thank you Kate -- I had a feeling that you were also a woman of excellent and diserning taste. *throws margarita salt in air in celebration*

[mrstreme]

My MCC mantra is The Moon and St. Christopher. But I have to agree with you, Kate, about your mantra pick. A great tune.

[Marissa]

My MCC mantra "sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug"

[sparky]

If Ramielle goes bye bye I have a hat trick today.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Riss,

I've never been known for my restraint.

[sparky]

Wah Wah Wah!

[Dede]

"Sometimes you're a Louisville slugger, sometimes you're the ball."

[Marissa]

Yup, Christian music will be calling Brooke, if they haven't already.

[mrstreme]

Final two: can't go wrong either way

[jane]

And my MCC mantra is "I Take My Chances"

All our mantras are bitchin', though...

[sparky]

The hats are on the ice.

[Marissa]

Sparky! sparky! Sparky!

[Kate]

That's a good one too, mrstreme. Marissa, yo7u crack me up. (sorry we didn't get to meet last night, I missed you)

[mrstreme]

THANK GOD!

Thank you. No further questions.

[jane]

And the Good Ship Shorty Spice sets sail for Boot Island... buh-bye.

[sparky]

Now she can record the duet with Danny.

[Marissa]

What's even cooler is that I knew what you meant by 'hat trick' wee! I dated a season ticket holder of the Atlanta Thrashers. Yeah!

[DoctorDrew]

Awesome! The reverse jinx comes through! Now time for you to go bye bye.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Apparently the only thing keeping Shorty around was Sean picking her to go.

Once he moved his crosshairs elsewhere, the curse was lifted.

I was wrong and I couldn't be happier.

[sparky]

Jamie Farr is going ape Sh*t on the gong. And here comes Rip Taylor with the confetti

[Marissa]

Kate, I read the comments when I got home from work last night. You're such a welcome type-face here. Dede, you're not excluded in that.

Yes! Good defeats evil, Sean. yeah, baby! Take that Beelzebub! In your face!

[Kate]

Aw, I actually feel bad for her, poor little thing. Not bad enough to wish I VOTED for her, but ...

[sparky]

Are the Thrashers an actual hockey team? Just kidding.

[Dede]

Thanks, Riss. I aspire to your cleverness.

Happy happy joy joy

[DoctorDrew]

You wil never cross my mind again Shorty Spice! don't let the door hit you in the ___ on the way out

[Marissa]

ha! I had such fun at the games, Sparky. I saw "Fuel" on the ice after a game. Nothing better than that, beer and Buffalo wings. Hockey is fun. Love it when a game breaks out in the middle of a fight.

[sparky]

Mis Ris is the Queen of Zing.

[sparky]

Doesn't fuel ruin the ice for skating.

[Marissa]

Awwww, Sparky! Your forehead is going to be bespeckled with gold stars.

[Kate]

Ok, must log off here and go do laundry or I'll have to go to work tomorrow looking like Jack Klugman ... ok, not so much. Night y'all.

[sparky]

Was Bob Hartley the coach when you saw them. He use to coach the Hershey Bears and I thought he was pretty good there.

[sparky]

Good night Kate. Don't want to look like Jack.

[Marissa]

Oh, man. Jay would murderate me for not remembering. It would have been about 4.5 years ago.

[Princess Di]

You must be this tall to ride this ride.
And, as Short Round (INDIANA JONES & THE TEMPLE OF DOOM) would say:
I'm very little! You cheat very big!

[jane]

I thought Bob Hartley was a shrink in Chicago with a wife named Emily... wow, is he talented!

[sparky]

He got into hockey as a side job. He wanted something more stable.

[Marissa]

OH how I loved the Newhart Show. They have it on DVD now.

[jane]

And I now have a new life objective: Whatever I do, try not to look like Jack Klugman.

[Marissa]

I dunno. Being rumpled while wearing a ball cap works for some people. Mustard stains and smelling of Old Spice and cabbage, not so much.

[sparky]

Remember go to youtube and look up Heynabonics. Good laugh and they actually talk like that here. Not me but everybody else.

[Marissa]

"Under the Rainbow" Sean Daly, you rock my margarita enhance world.

[jane]

I'm guessing that coaching hockey was a more stable gig than being an innkeeper in Vermont...

[Guy]

KLC survives for another week! Keep the negative energy coming, gang.

[Jeff in Cuba]

I gotta go get some sleep.

I've got some big shot visitors in town and if I'm going to convinvce them to give me a couple of million of your tax dollars for some of my renewable energy ideas, I'm going to need to be at the peak of my tree-huggin', Birkenstock-wearin', hacky-sack-playin', Brooke-listenin' grooviness.

Later.

[Marissa]

Heyna is a question, not an answer

[Marissa]

Oh hey, wanna hear a bit of irony? I was deleted by a 'friend' on myspace for being too snarky. I ask you, is there such a thing? Sheesh! And I went easy on her.

[sparky]

Hayna is actually both a question and an answer depending on inflection.

You too snarky, don't believe it for a minute.

[Marissa]

Oh, the instructor on the video says Heyna is only a question. But you live it.

[Sean Daly]

Tremendous chatter tonight, superstars. Almost 200 zings per hour? I do declare, that's a record in these parts.

[Marissa]

Yeah! Snarkland rules! Sean, if you're the King of Snarkland, what does that make me?
By the way, I just gave you that title.

[David-b]

Sean - You are too modest.
That was obviously just a clever use of reverse psychology on your part in an effort to finally boot shorty.
Good work. A job well done Sean!

[sparky]

Miss Ris, I told you, you are the Queen of Zing.

I am just the Court Jester around these parts. Here for your comedic pleasure. Kind of like an appendix, don't really serve a purpose but you miss me when I am gone.

[Marissa]

Thanks Sparky! Will you leave a scar if you're removed?

[sparky]

Damn tootin', I ain't going out without a fight.

[Bassnote]

I was too sick last night to join in the festivities, but I am SOOOOOO HAPPY that Shorty Spice got the boot.

[jane]

sparky, if you were my appendix and left a scar, i'd design a tattoo just to highight it. Jack Klugman dressed like a jester. *wink*

[Sean Daly]

Wow, this thing's getting weird.

[Marissa]

Sean, Pop Life goes David Lynchesque