LIVE IDOL! You're the Inspiration

This week is all about inspiration on American Idol. Tonight, the final 8 contestants sing songs of inspiration. That begins at 8 p.m. You just know David Archuleta is busting out the Josh Groban.

Wednesday is the second annual "Idol Gives Back" celeb-stuffed benefit show. That starts at 7:30 p.m. and runs until (gasp!) 10 p.m. Sometime during the show, Teri Hatcher will caterwaul, hopefully not a Josh Groban song.

And Thursday is the inspirational vote-off show. That starts at 8.

Who are my two greatest inspirations, you ask? That's easy. Zamfir, Master of the Pan Flute, and the lovely and talented Sharon Fink, the St. Pete Times' Mistress of Pop Culture.

I'll be at the Tampa Bay Rays home opener tonight, so Sharon will be handling Idol duties, including a withering show recap. I'll be back Wednesday to entertain and delight. Go Sharon!

The Pop Life Idol Chat & Oxygen Bar will be OPEN FOR BUSINESS for all 137 hours of televised Idol this week. So pace yourselves and drink plenty of fluids!

Comments

[Jeff in Cuba]

SD,

That's odd, I always figured you to be a disciple of "Zam-Spears, Master of the Pan Pizza".

[Sean Daly]

Zam-Spears! That's pretty good. I can just see him, eyes closed, wind in his Chet hair, blowing harmoniously on a thick slice of pepperoni.

Kinda makes me miss the ol' lug.

[Bassnote]

I have to go look at houses tonight, but hopefully I'll be home in time for the snarkfest.

[jane]

First installment of song spoilers... as usual, please partake of the grains of salt I'm passing around.

*Syesha -- "I Believe" by Fantasia
*David Cook -- "Innocent" by Our Lady Peace
*Carly -- "The Show Must Go On" by Queen
*Brooke -- "You've Got a Friend" by James Taylor
*Jason -- "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Judy Garland (although I understand it's Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's version)
*Michael -- "Dream On" by Aerosmith
*Kristy -- "Anyway" by Martina McBride
*David Archuleta -- "Angels" by Robbie Williams

[Spears]

The ole lug is here in Vegas still, where I'll be tortured by going to an impersonator show tonight at the Imperial Palace.

God help me, there's not enough alcohol in the city for nights like tonight.

[Spears]

BTW, for the record, I had three 190 Octanes yesterday -- the last two with extra shots of grain. And still, I was unfazed. Like an African elephant shot by a small pistol, it takes stronger ammo to bag this big-game animal.

[Jeff in Cuba]

News flash, Zam-Spears...

The first thing to go after a couple of shots of grain is the ability to tell if you're unfazed. Like an elephant shot by a small tranquilizer pistol, the big game can't tell if it's in the bag.

[Spears]

Trust me, I could have piloted a jet through Cuban airspace at the time. But after paying $10 for a Jack and soda, I was suddenly teleported into a very nice place.

[sparky]

Great googly moogly, inspiration.

I used to be an inspirational speaker until I had to live in the van down by the river.

[Marissa]

Ah, let the inspiration begin.

[sparky]

Is roo pissed that Carly stole his Queen song?

[Marissa]

Man, Roo has the tough spot tonight. Drat!
And what's with the ascots lately?

[Jeff in Cuba]

MJ's gone from an ascot to... well, I don't know what to call that golden retriever bandana thing.

[sparky]

He's sucking up to the resident Brit.

[Marissa]

Oh Roo, I do dream. Dream a little dream of you..
Dayummmmm scream it baby, say my name, say my name!

[sparky]

Who told Randy that Pandora beads are manly?

And as far as pitch problems, Dream On is a pitch problem.

[Marissa]

Sinbad! Holy washed up comedian, Batman!

[sparky]

Does Paula have a little nasty Roo dream? Ris is going to throw down.

[Jeff in Cuba]

His whole outift looks like it came form the Danny Noriega Collection at Hairdresser's Wearhouse.

[sparky]

Did Ryan just call Simon's moobs chihuahuas?

[Marissa]

Paula's b*oo*bs are highly pitched ... up on her collar bone.

[Marissa]

Sparky, no doubt! First Sean is ready to wrestle me for Roo. Now I have to contend with Paula and her tote bag of narcotics.

[sparky]

Yes they are Ris and they are mahvalous.

[Jeff in Cuba]

I got Syesha, but then I got some cream from my doctor...

[sparky]

Why would you do an Idol song on Idol?

Maybe KLC can do a Kelli Pickler song.

[Marissa]

I like the way Syesha is singing it better than Fantasia.

[sparky]

Jeff didn't it clear up or did it turn into Mulaby?

[sparky]

She just cracked my TV.

[Marissa]

Dig it! She hit the money note. My margarita glass exploded, but she hit it.

[Jeff in Cuba]

That's not going to be enough to keep her off of the stools of doom.

[sparky]

What is with Somewhere Over the Rainbow?

[Marissa]

He's REALLY Kmart Jack Johnson with this number. Where's Steve when I need him to help me come up with island names.

[sparky]

Well at least she'll have company. My God make K-mart Don Ho stop!

[Marissa]

I do like this version. I have it on my lazy Saturday playlist.

and doesn't he look ginormous with the ukelele in front of him?

[Jeff in Cuba]

I actually met Brudda Iz when I lived in Hawaii. He was a friend of a friend. It was before he went solo, but his group, the Makaha Sons of Niihau were amazing.

At the time he probably weighed about 500 pounds, but I hear he got to over 700 before he died.

Very sad story.

Almost as sad as what Dred-head is doing to his song.

[Marissa]

bwahahaha are you guys seeing Meatloaf in this commercial for at&t wireless?

[Jeff in Cuba]

That was Harriot in Cuba's favorite performer doing one of Harriot in Cuba's favorite songs.

She is very happy right now.

[Marissa]

and I just realized there aren't any floridians. In fact, it's just us three. Jeez! Baseball is messing up Idol night!

[Marissa]

Hey there Harriot in Cuba. I liked it, too. Sorry, dudes. It be what it is.

[Marissa]

She always looks pained, bobs her head erratically, and has already worn a tank top like that.

[Marissa]

Ya know, she's boring as hell, but will make it in country music because they love that.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Quality, not quantity, Riss...

So KLC is determined not to be in the bottom 3? I'm determined not to be tired at the end of tomorrow morning's run, but we'll see how it works out for both of us.

[Marissa]

Oh my God! I'm alone now. I wasn't here last week. So, now everybody isn't showing up to teach me a lesson, huh?

[sparky]

Jeez I missed KLC. Glad I had to take my dog for a poop. Just about the same experience.

[mrstreme]

This Floridian is here - just reading and not playing (actually, I am multi-tasking with the kids). =)

[Marissa]

Well, that's a lot of forehead.

[Jeff in Cuba]

You're not alone, Riss.

It's spring break so all four of the kiddos are watching with myself and Harriot.

It's like a Chuck-E-Cheese Idol Party!

[Marissa]

yeah! mrstreme! So glad you're here. I mean, I can understand if you and the family went to the baseball game.

[sparky]

Do they have a CHuck E Cheese or Pizza for that matter on Gitmo, Jeff?

[Marissa]

Ok, it wasn't bad until he cheezed it up with the palm writing.

By the way, I have that jacket in black lol

[Jeff in Cuba]

That looks like a jacket form the dumpster behind Prince's house.

Very appropriate for The-Artist-Formerly-Known-As-Skullet.

[mrstreme]

The kids are on Spring Break this week, so bedtimes are coo-coo.

David Cook stunk it up.

[Marissa]

And Randy is PMSing or his bio-rhythms are way off.

[sparky]

Do you think Alien is trying to pull a Daughtry so he can get his album out quicker.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Not only do we have Pizza Hut, but today at noon we cut the ribbon on the first (and only) Taco Bell in Cuba.

Two-plus year ordeal to make it happen, so I was glad it was over.

[sparky]

I love this song but I hope she ramps it up.

[Marissa]

I'm left feeling ... err uhm, well, uninspired. Roo woulda killed this song in a good way.

[Jeff in Cuba]

I'm getting tired of looking at Carly's tramp stamps every week.

Doesn't she own anything with sleeves?

[sparky]

Taco Bell in Cuba? Why don't you just order out to Uncle Raul's Tacoland.

[mrstreme]

Carly stunk it up.

I am not moved by any of these performances tonight.

[Marissa]

Very few people can cover Queen. She just proved I'm right.

[sparky]

Is Simon looking over his shoulder so Carly's husband Mike Tyson doesn't slap him around.

[Marissa]

Jeff! I was thinking the same thing. I'm sick of that fugly stain. I keep thinking it's a bruise.

[sparky]

Ris, well they moved my dog.

[Marissa]

Lil' Davey's not gonna stunk it up. However, it will be covered with extra cheese and able to be sold at Cuba's finest Chuck E. Cheese.

[Marissa]

By the way I'm a little more than miffed at Mr.Daly skippin' out on his own blog this evening. I don't care if it's the Queen herself coming to his house for Funyun Casserole. He scolded me last week for not being here. Shame on you, Sean Daly. S H A M E!

[sparky]

Sad part is he is sitting watching baseball in Florida in a dome. Baseball in Florida should be played outdoors.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Believe me, I'd love to be able to get food from the other side of the fence.

Our Cuban food here isn't nearly as good as I used to get in Miami. But we have a great Jamaican Jerk House a block down the street, right next to the Starbucks and ice cream parlor.

It's rough out here on the front lines!

[sparky]

Here we go again Up with People.

[mrstreme]

I think Archuleta is (now) always trying to prove that he's picking his own songs, not Daddy Dearest. I hope he hid the wire hangers.

[Jeff in Cuba]

If he had a candelabra, he could be Liber-Chachi.

[Marissa]

I think it should be noted that the kids haven't had a lot of practice time due to having to pre-tape a lot of segments for the show tomorrow night. Which could be reason for the less than lustrous performances by the front runners on this night of ::cough:: inspiration.

[Marissa]

hehe Jeff.

[sparky]

Jeff do you find it kind of ironic that the Iron Curtain fell and we have diplomatic and economic relations with the Chicoms but we stick it to Fidel.

[Marissa]

Ah, Brooke is pimpin' it with one of my most favorite song writers. Well, played Madame of the Shoeless People.

[sparky]

Speaking of Chachi has anyone been watching Celebrity Fit Club Boot Camp. Looks like Joanie loves Ernest & Julio Gallo long time.

[Marissa]

Oh man! Joanie is seriously disturbed lol That show is a trip. Who is the diva-wannabe that keeps losing her cool?

[Marissa]

I LOVE "Tapestry." I sang this song in a trio in high school.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Here'a all you need to know about the US position on Cuba.

Everyone knows you can't be elected President without winning Florida, and you can't win Florida without the Cuban vote.

So 50,000 Cuban-Americans get to pick the President. And that's why they get what they want in the way of foreign policy.

That's the democracy I've sworn to protect.

[Marissa]

why on God's green Earth did she ditch the piano? That would have solidified the whole Carole King thing. Idiot. Maybe they insisted she had to put onher shoes. And, since she can't play with out them, she had to go on without the baby grand.

[sparky]

That is Tocara. She was on America's next top model. I was laughing when Screech said he is smarter than his foes yet he doesn't know that judaism isn't a race but a religion.

[Marissa]

And there are better, more inspirational songs by Miss King than this one. Just sayin'

[Marissa]

All right, it has to be said. The feigned humility from these people is driving me freakin' NUTS! Ugh! Learn a new facial expression, you, you, you, grrrrrrr

[sparky]

That was pleasant.

Well Jeff thanks for protecting our democracy it is greatly appreciated.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Harriot in Cuba points out that Brooke needed to make a more contemporary choice if she wanted to shed her barefoot, hippy-dippy vibe and make a serious run at the title.

Insightful as usual.

[Marissa]

Ooh, Michael Johns' butt. Nice. He's like a shiny object to my ADHD side.

[sparky]

That Harriot is one tuned in chica.

[Marissa]

Hey, at least it was only an hour and I don't have to keep typing to make up for all the othe rpeople who failed to shop up lol MR SEAN DALY OF FEATHER SOUND. lol

[Marissa]

I'm really not upset. I just like to have a dramatic exit.

[sparky]

Type at ya folks later.

Peace out!

[Jeff in Cuba]

I'm not sure if I can do 150 minutes of snarking tomorrow night, but the prospect of taking shots at a charity show is so tastelessly snark-tastic that I'm willing to try.

[Marissa]

I'm going to put my best foot forward for tomorrow. Carrie Underwear is in my crosshairs. Blech!

[sparky]

Is MAriah the Human Train Wreck Carey on tomorrow? If so I am so going to warm up the snarks.

[Marissa]

Yes, I believe she'll be around according to Ryan and Randy making claims they (individually) talked her into participating. She's so full of her 'in heat dolphin' sounding self.

[Kate]

Well I was on DVR-delay so I am only now checking in to Snarks R Us. And an extra box of crackerjack please, to whoever said Fla. baseball should be outdoors!!
MJ -- Best cover band frontman out there. But why the noose?
Sigh-yeeesh-a -- better than I expected but still annoying. SHoulda quit on the money note.
Travolta-with-Dreads -- He's no Kat McPhee. That's all I'm sayin'.
KLC -- Heresy, I know, but I liked her. Cringed at the line about if we all forget what she sang tomorrow. Hopefully she won't be singing that on results night...
David Cook -- Didn't really get him tonight, but: It's not you, it's me. Really, it's me. And the stylists are starting to get the hang of his hair!
Carly -- I thought she was going to eat me up and spit me out. And not in a good way.
David Archuleta -- Pass the kleenex I am crying from boredom. C-Span would be more interesting than this.
Brooke -- shoulda stuck with the JT version, she's much better at light-n-breezy. Cute shoes.