Sticky & Sweet: Madonna's "Hard Candy"

Hey sex kittens, just got the new Madonna in the mail this morning. Hard Candy comes out tomorrow. Here's a first impression...

Madonna
Album: Hard Candy (Warner Bros.)
In stores: Tuesday
Why we care: Forty-nine-year-old mom Madge invites the neighbor boys over for a little while-he’s-away on her 11th studio album. Justin Timberlake, Kanye West, Timbaland and Pharrell bring their synthy booty beats and marching-band samples, Madonna purrs out every dumb “give it to me” cliche, and we all dance naked.
Why we like it: If all that sounds a little desperate, a little forced and a lot of fun, well, it is — how you deal with the morning guilt is up to you. The Timberlake appearance has the intended Mrs. Robinson effect, but Madonna merges best with Pharrell, whose restless rhythms goose her into giving more.
Reminds us of: In the liner notes, Madonna looks like a dancer at Adult World in Syracuse, N.Y. This is not a good thing.
Download these: 4 Minutes (WATCH) Heartbeat (LISTEN) and Candy Shop (LISTEN)
Grade: B

Comments

[Marissa]

I listened to this via myspace. They are pumping this Hard Candy thing hard. Madonna's sprawled out, burlesque schtick is so old.

I suppose if I was hitting the tequila pretty hard and I was in a club that was thumping her music I would get into the groove and dance.

Timbaland needs to get a new sound already. His "tickatickow" thing gets old really quick.

[Bassnote]

Another piece of throw-away pop garbage from the queen of it. I hope the people at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame are proud.

[chad]

sean
wheres the review of def leppard's new cd? thats what ill be picking up tomorrow.

[Marino]

I'm with Chad. Pick up the new Def Leppard disc "Songs From The Sparkle Lounge" and take a listen. They rock again...

[ewww]

Hard candy ?? How needy is the material girl?
She is old and nasty. Go back to your hole gramma.

[Thorn]

Way to go Madonna! She is looking great, and her music will live forever.

...and cockroaches can survive nuclear fallout. What's your point, Thorn?

[Pete]

How do you know about adult world in Syracuse? Do you know any of the dancers?

[Mike]

How does someone trash Madonna in the review then give it a "B"? I heard this album last week and its actually quite good. Please, stop using age as a reason to dislike her. If you want to like or dislike her do for a real reason. Maybe her 20+ years of humanitarian work or hugely profitable concert tours. Today's singers should only be so lucky to have 25% of the sucess she has had, look at her equals (Michael Jackson, Britany Spears, Whiteny Houston, etc etc and enough said)

I'm her age. If only I looked that good!

[Bassnote]

"look at her equals (Michael Jackson, Britany Spears, Whitney Houston, etc etc and enough said)"

Enough said is right. None of those 'artists' have put out anything of relevance in years (and all three you named are freak shows in their own right). It's the same crap with new packaging over and over.

[Tom D]

Not certain who should be more insulted, Madonna or Adult World...

[D]

no one has addressed the obvious, here. how embarrassed are you to look at that album cover?

[Marissa]

D, embarrassed doesn't cover it. I will say it has this positive effect on me: It gives me nausea which, in turn, helps me stick to my diet.