LIVE IDOL: the Antichrist goes back to the beach!

Woo! My faith in humanity is restored! I can put my high heels back on! Protesting is so two months ago, anyway.

In a jarring and unexpected move, the worst singer on American Idol actually received the lowest number of votes. Evil hellspawn Jason Castro, who seriously confessed to his "brain being dead" on Wednesday's show, went home.

YAYYYYY.

Tuesday, he turned in nightmarish renditions of Bob Dylan's Mr. Tambourine Man and Bob Marley's I Shot the Sheriff. "Somebody told me that I shot the Tambourine Man," he cracked. Well, no, but millions of people threatened to shoot themselves.

We're super close to a two-David ticket just begging for bumper sticker slogans. David squared!

THE BOTTOM TWO: Syesha Mercado, Jason Castro

AND FOURTH-PLACE GOES TO: JASON CASTRO, YAYYYYYYYYYYYY, LET'S HAVE A PARTY!

YOUR TOP THREE IDOLS: David Archuleta, David Cook, Syesha Mercado

Comments

[jane]

That is some mighty fine artwork there, Stephanie. The tooth is an especially nice touch.

From your mouth to America's ears. Or dialing fingers. Or something.

[Stephanie Hayes]

I wish I could take credit, but it was Spearsy's idea all the way. He called me to tell me about the art project, maniacal glee in his voice. I'm thinking of ordering the print for my bedroom.

[Forever Fiancee]

Stephanie - you are my hero for taking AI off Sean's hands tonight! Poor thing has been burning the candle at both ends lately and is obviously suffering.

The head cold is kicking his butt, but not as much as I'm going to for eating my chicken salad! Yes, I can hold a grudge.

I'm starting to think JC is sucking on purpose! He's obviously tired, bored, finished, done with the whole thing. I think he's trying to get himself voted off. But it probably won't work and he will end up winning the Democratic nomination. Oh wait, I mean American Idol.

[jane]

Ah yes. I'm familiar with Mr. Spears' fine artwork in this arena -- this is strangly reminiscent of the creative treatment he gave a photo of the Police.

I'm thinking this rendition of Sr. Castro would make a mighty bitchin' black light poster, actually. Maybe package it with a color-coordinated lava lamp.

Get Spencer's Gifts on the phone -- pronto!

Aww, no sweat, FF. I have fun doing Idol. And I feel for SD. But still! Have no mercy on the chicken salad issue. That's a serious offense. You must make an example out of him, like Wesley Snipes.

[Stephanie Hayes]

That was Stephanie. I got signed out. :(

[Marissa]

Because I love and had a ton of extra time on my hands today. I give you this
http://mentalorigami-wildhair.blogspot.com/2008/05/toying-with-american-idol.html

[sparky]

Well FF, I was actually looking forward to conversing with the wildest man in showbiz tonight regarding the new Neil Diamond release since he is slipping on his reviews by€ going to amusement parks, Kanye West and Radiohead. I'm sure he was eating organic goodies and drinking bottled Perriers.

[Marissa]

UGH! Why must they talk to Paula?

[sparky]

Where are my snarks and snarkettes?

[sparky]

Hey Castro remembered the lyrics!

[Marissa]

So, I was watching some old video footage of Nigel Lythgoe in "THe Young Generation" ~ It explains the goofy dance moves.

[Marissa]

Hey Sparky. I'm shocked that Ar-Chachi didn't pass out running up the steps. He did come in late at the very beginning. Shame, for shame!

[starfish]

hola!

[Jeff at Work]

Give me a minute or two to get settled and I'll get to work.

[sparky]

Looks like it's just you and I Miss Ris.

[sparky]

Jeff, isn't "work" still in Cuba?

[Marissa]

AH! Starfish and Jeff are joining in. Woot!

I was reading a thread on one of the David Cook websites. There are women expressing their angst. One said she'd not eaten all day because she was just sick. She wasn't the only one.

[sparky]

I had a taste of last night's show and just brought up my lunch.

[Marissa]

I made some motivational posters about last night's show. The link is up there somewhere.

[starfish]

omg. do ppl really get that obsessed with someone on tv???? like not eating the whole day...pathetic, they should really consider getting a life

[sparky]

You know I am not the most observant of individuals but I just realized that DC is a lefty. Welcome to planet Earth Sparky.

[jane]

I'm halfway here -- hopped up on cold meds, rendering my pithy observations slightly, well, less pithy.

[sparky]

By the way Ris, very nice work!

[starfish]

ha ha sparky...i ddnt notice it until you just said it. very observant i am!

[jane]

sparky, that's what happens when you inch closer to the big 4-0. Enlightenment.

[Stephanie Hayes]

I'm late!!! But I'm back from mother's day dinner with a bottle of swanky Italian wine, and I'm ready! I'll catch up in a second.

[Marissa]

Thanks, Sparkster.

[Jeff at Work]

Chachi's safe.

Alert the media.

[sparky]

How in God's green earth do you Floridians get sick? Isn't it like 90 degrees down there? And that brings up another question, if it is 90 degrees wouldn't it be the hots instead of a cold?

[starfish]

yes i agree marissa, very very nice work. ill have to show some ppl that at work tomorrow, my fellow AI junkies will love it.

[Marissa]

TMZ has a video of Jason while Seacrest is giving out his number for voting. They think it looks like Castro is mouthing, "D O N' T V O T E"

That sofa's pretty long for just three little people.

[jane]

sparky, my friend, it's called living with a kindergartener who is a human petri dish. He brings the germs in, I catch 'em.

The hots -- something else entirely. Trust me...

[Marissa]

"sleepin' in the sky..oooh, cool."

[Stephanie Hayes]

We have lots of pollen and crap that gets us sick down here. And it's not so easy to breathe when you're stuffed up and it's 95 degrees and muggy out.

[sparky]

Comparing these four talentless losers to the Beatles is like comparing Chef BoyRDee to Wolfgang Puck.

[starfish]

wow...i just checked out that video on TMZ...he is probably saying vote vote, but it does look like dont vote ha ha

[Marissa]

God, how I love Cirque du soleil.

[Marissa]

Excellent call, Sparky!

[starfish]

yes, you wouldnt believe how easy it is to get sick down here in florida. probably the most miserable thing in the world is having a cold in the middle of the summer.

[starfish]

he looks a lot better without all that facial hair..he should really consider shaving that off

[Marissa]

Agreed, Starfish ... maybe a goatee

Finally! The "cookies" can eat.

[Stephanie Hayes]

David squared in the top two. I feel so underwhelmed.

Please, God, DOINK CASTRO!

[sparky]

Why is this going to last a full hour?

[Marissa]

Jason Castro is all geared up for the build up and has another doofus moment. Gotta love it.

[Jeff in Cuba]

Four faux stars check out the faux Fab Four.

How appropros.

[Stephanie Hayes]

Because we still have to see Bo Bice profess the merits of leather pants.

[starfish]

i agree with the full hour deal...it could easily be made into a 30 minute thing. then i wouldnt waste so much beer having to get thru the whole hour. at least castro has some kind of brain, he knew they werent voting someone off this early..

[jane]

Are you kidding me -- Bo Bice and leather pants?

I feel better already.

[Marissa]

They could phone in the results. But then that would be one less evening I get to spend with you fine people.

[Marissa]

I just hope Bo discovered the merits of Pantene.

[starfish]

johnny cash didnt deserve to have that done to his song.

[Stephanie Hayes]

I like Fructis, personally!

Why must they bastardize every great classic song in history in the Ford commercials?

[Stephanie Hayes]

All time classic pick up line: "Have you ever been to Pittsburgh?"

[sparky]

If you go to Pittsburgh you have to get a Primanti Bros Sandwich.

[Marissa]

Best response ever! "THe brain being dead."

[starfish]

does he ever know anything?? he never knows what to say. he has to be a nerd in school. with a little pocket protector.

[starfish]

who's idea was this to put this into the show??? its such a waste of time and so stupid!

[Stephanie Hayes]

Eww... Simon in a James Bond swimsuit! He'd need a one piece.

[sparky]

Simon Cowell 006.9

[Marissa]

Can someone please explain to me the allure of this guy?

[Stephanie Hayes]

He's skinny and sweaty with big ears! What's to explain, Riss?

[Jan Wesner]

I always lurk here but rarely chime in ... but I had to share this with you:

My husband Mark says Archuleta is really a Furby!

[Marissa]

Archuleta could take him in a thumb fight. Eesh.

[Marissa]

HA! Jan. That's so hysterical.

[starfish]

ha, a furby, i can totally see it now that i hear that! ha ha. can somebody please go cut off all bo's hair?? its much to long for a guy

[Marissa]

Nope. He hasn't embraced the power of Pantene or periodic trims.

[Jeff in Cuba]

If you'd like to buy Bo's new single he'll be selling them after he finishes his shift at the Dairy Queen.

[Jan Wesner]

Bo's hot, split ends and all.

[Marissa]

He's still better than Carrie Underwear.

[Stephanie Hayes]

His split ends are like a soft halo... what good hairdressers see when they go to Heaven.

[starfish]

maybe he wouldnt sweat so much if he didnt have 10 extra lbs of hair on him. its like sticking to his forehead. gross.

[Marissa]

lol starfish.

[jane]

Jan, you speak the truth. SO hot -- despite being the complete antithesis of my usual type.

Although I missed the leather pants.

[sparky]

I can't understand the attraction to Bo. But then again I almost hooked up one of my friends to a guy like Bo in a bar one night after many adult beverages. I was playing wingman for the poor guy and I noticed this tight fitting jean wearing long haired beauty from across the bar and pointed her out. Sparky's friend went over to ask her to dance and Dude Looks Like a Lady.

[Marissa]

Castro is cracking me up.

[sparky]

Castro this Doobs for U!

[Stephanie Hayes]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

[sparky]

Kmart Bob Marley looks very releaved.

[starfish]

thank god...there is a god out there to somewhat save the popularity contest

[sparky]

I just have one question to Castro. How can a person that plays an instrument not know 99.9% of the music that he is performing on the show?

[Stephanie Hayes]

"Dreams do come true." Yes, they do. Mine did tonight.

[starfish]

wow...ryan read your mind sparky ha ha

[Marissa]

Too funny. This is the most fun he's had in weeks.

[starfish]

ive never seen him so happy before! look at him! he is glowing! dancing all over the place. ha. he definitely wanted to get the hell outta there.

[Marissa]

and 2 people called me while they were announcing the reject. Jeez! All day it's been quiet and people choose then to dial me.

[jane]

Can you say kamikaze performances...

[sparky]

I heard that Tommy Chong hooked up with Castro before the show and shared some stash.

[starfish]

funny marissa! ha. my phone hasnt rang all day either and rang at that moment! but i couldnt get mad, it was my boyfriend calling to tell me he landed safe in cali from afghani land. thand god. another one comes home safe!

[sparky]

Congrats Starfish! Tell that man thanks for doing what he does. Mrs. Sparky's cousin spent 18 months in Iraq early on and told us some stories when he got back.

[Marissa]

That is awesome news, Starfish. What a celebration I know you'll have.

[starfish]

yes...its gonna be great. its been a year..i almost am scared...like a little girl with a crush again. on a blind date ha ha.

[Jan Wesner]

Hey Starfish - Yeah for you!!!!! My husband Mark just returned from a year in Iraq. I wrote about it on my blog for the Times, blogs.tampabay.com/standingby

I still write there everyday about my life as an Army wife.

We have some great conversations over there, too. Check it out and join in!

[Jeff in Cuba]

My internet connection has been down for about 50 minutes.

But trust me, I've been HILARIOUS the whole time.

Really.

[starfish]

oh i definitely will! im new to this blog thing..never really ventured into the world of it. but now i love it! it definitely helps to talk about things and makes the lonely nights go by a lot quicker.

[starfish]

ha ha im sure you have jeff..thats such a horrible time for your internet to go down! no fun! i thought you left to go coach some more softball or something.

[Marissa]

Jeff, I have no doubt that you've had us rolling in our seats from laughter.

[Jan Wesner]

And let me tell you, Starfish, when Mark came home was almost as scary as when he left ... I was terrified of how we would relate to each other. We've been married 17 years and have spent probably half that time apart. But nothing before was like this ...

[Jan Wesner]

Oh, and if you do check out the blog, be sure and scroll through the archives from 2006 and 2007. Those are the best posts from when Mark was gone.

And now I promise to stop hijacking this post for my own promotional purposes!

[Jeff in Cuba]

Starfish,

It sounds like you're having a pretty good day. We have a couple of thousand troops down here who are counting the days until they get to make that phone call.

Believe me, as great as it was for you, it was better for him!

[starfish]

ha ha thanks! ill definitely check it out tomorrow at work! we've been together for 4 1/2 years and have been apart a good majority of it. it sucks but i wouldnt trade the time i have had with him for the world. its definitely hard but all worth it in the end.

[Marissa]

Holy tear ducts, Batman. That last sentiment from Jeff just made me weepy.

[starfish]

ha ha i know it was definitely a little teary eyed comment. totally unlike him to be so heartfelt! ha

[Jeff in Cuba]

Sorry, lost the connection again.

What's all this about me not being heartfelt?

When I say that I've seen better legs in buckets of chicken than Jason's in those Ford commercial matador pants, every word of it comes straight from the heart.

Seriously though. After 22 years in the Navy, some things rise above the snark.

And tearful reunions are near the top of the list, so cherish the moment.