Mai-Mai discovers her super powers
It was just a matter of time, of course. Sooner or later, my youngest daughter Mai-Mai would discover her family's deep, dark superheroic secret. And finally, the other day, it happened, the origin story commenced. It was all right there on her daily report from daycare, expertly detailed by her top-shelf babysitter.
Under the category of "Today I..." this is what my five-month-old daughter did on 7/15/08:
Today I showed my babysitter's boobies to an elderly man @ the mall. I used my toes & crazy yoga skills to pull down her shirt.
And there you go. I've never been so proud. In fact, upon further reportage, Mai-Mai apparently achieved full-on boob dislodging. Wow. Not only does she look like me, Mai-Mai also inherited the Daly family's simian ability to manipulate our surroundings with our feet. Keys, CDs, small appliances: We can fetch anything with our peds. It sounds gross, and it's rather unsightly, but it's ultimately very effective. This is a gift I discovered largely via sloth (with all the bending, and the stretching -- oy!), and yet it's a gift nonetheless, to be used for good, not evil.
Mai-Mai hasn't harnessed her full foot power yet. In fact, there are signs she might be wary of her superheroic strength. For instance, check out her daily report from the very next day, 7/16/08:
Today I left my babysitter's clothes on.
Sean Daly is the pop music critic for the St. Petersburg Times. His CD collection -- from Journey to Dylan, Prince to U2, Public Enemy to Stan Getz -- is much bigger and better than yours.
I too have that superhuman ability. I can pick things up with either foot and much to Mrs. Sparky's dismay I can pinch with pretty good force. This sometimes happes during REM sleep which totally freaks her out.
You have to talk to Mai Mai and tell her she has to keep this power hush hush and can only be used to disrobe her teachers when there is somebody else there to see it, such as dear old dad.
Posted by: sparky | July 17, 2008 at 02:47 PM
"How was the mall, Grandpa?"
"Not bad. But I've got to bring more singles next time. Do you have change for a twenty?"
Posted by: Jeff in Cuba | July 17, 2008 at 02:49 PM
Your cape and mask are in the mail, Sparky.
Posted by: Sean Daly | July 17, 2008 at 02:54 PM
First of all, Jeff in Cuba, this Sunday I'll be recording a podcast with you + cheering on the Tampa Bay Rays. Your boy Spearsy put together a perks package that was too good to pass up. So I'm all yours...
As for Grandpa, I was thinking the same thing. That mall-boobing must have been the best thing to happen to him since the talkies. My daughter, so compassionate!
Posted by: Sean Daly | July 17, 2008 at 02:57 PM
SD,
That's great news. I just hope this "perks package" doesn't involve me waxing anybody's car.
Or anybody's back.
Posted by: Jeff in Cuba | July 17, 2008 at 03:03 PM
I already have the cape, mask and spandex tights.
Posted by: sparky | July 17, 2008 at 03:04 PM
So happy to learn I am in such distinct company regarding feats of the feet.
Aquadextrous = turning the shower off & on with ones feet. Skillz.
Posted by: Marissa | July 17, 2008 at 03:05 PM
Wow, I almost feel normal after reading this! My husband always makes fun of my 'monkey feet.' I think he's just jealous.
My big question is who came closer to heart failure when the twins slipped out- the sitter or grandpa?
Posted by: SM | July 17, 2008 at 03:23 PM
MaiSitter is a frequent visitor to this blog...or at least she used to be.
Maybe she can shed some light on this (if she's not too tired of shedding things).
Posted by: Sean Daly | July 17, 2008 at 03:35 PM
Welcome to the wonderful world of "nothing is sacred when you know Sean Daly," MaiSitter. I suspect you will get used to the constant public humiliation, if you haven't gotten used to it already, thanks to my dexterous daughter.
If I remember the story correctly, MaiSitter didn't know there was a problem until she saw the look on grandpa's face. I bet she made his day!
And as far as the super powers go, why couldn't my family be blessed with the ability to leap tall buildings or x-ray vision?? No, instead I have to watch them pick up lone socks or wayward crayons with their toes. Yuck!
Posted by: Forever Fiancee | July 17, 2008 at 03:58 PM
Yep, that's just what the haters said to the X-Men. We're so misunderstood.
Posted by: Sean Daly | July 17, 2008 at 04:14 PM
How embarassing for MaiSitter! But grandpa is probably still reveling in the fond, fond memory and recounting his tale to anyone who will listen.
If he's anything like my dad, he's probably telling everyone, 'I can't help it, women just flock to me!'
Forever Fiancee, you and my husband could start a support group for disgusted relatives of monkey feet people.
Posted by: SM | July 17, 2008 at 04:52 PM
Actually, my husband treats it like a car accident. He finds it disturbing but he can't turn away.
Posted by: SM | July 17, 2008 at 04:56 PM
I'm here... clothes in tact. I have a very small unpopular blog that I keep in touch with my 60 or cousins on myspace. I know I'm not 15, but it is so much easier. He's my story....
Mall Walking~~ Just 4 Today
Just 4 kids today, my big kids are away at their grandparents. I strolled my slightly smaller crew through the mall for our "it's too hot outside to walk" walk. The ac was cranked, the kids were happy, it was going so well, too well. Our favorite story is Old Navy. Not because of fashion or prices or any of those reasons, but because they have four large ramps!!! If you've ever been in there then you know what I'm talking about. To get to the baby and then the children's departments, you must scale four large kinda steep ramps. I guess everyone is working on the obesity problem in america. Hey let's make them walk up ramps to shop. The kids love it! I tell them to put their hands in the air and scream "WWEEEEEEE!" I was shot several looks from this mom today as we went up and down and up and down again. Ha, look all you want lady , your unruly three~ish year old daughter that you have let run free, is pulling down stacks of nicely folded shirts and knocking over manikins, while you shoot me the stink eye. After we harassed the preppy stay at home moms. We moved on to Auntie Anne's. We all devoured our snack in record time. It was about that time for baby sumo to have her bottle. Everyone was behaving smashingly! An older man and his 4~ish granddaughter sat on the bench facing us. She goggled at the babies and he looked at me very sympathetically. Neither of them asked the usual cloud of questions that everyone else does. They just politely smiled. I'm feeding baby sumo and she's doing her yoga. We have a burp and continue to feed. She ever so delicately puts her toe inside my shirt and with man like strength pulls it. The look on the older man's face told me he could see my " boob~a~lachas" (as my lovely children call them) She squealed and giggled as she made this man's day. I removed her foot gently and carried on about my business as though I had not just accidentally flashed this poor man and his granddaughter. We trotted back home for lunch and nap. It is gloriously quiet in my house as all the babies are sleeping peacefully. I feel violated :)
And that is that!
Posted by: MaiSitter | July 17, 2008 at 05:01 PM
I also share the toe talent, I used to clean my room with my feet so I didn't have to bend over. Lazy Teenager.
After nursing two children... my twins have seen it all!
Posted by: MaiSitter | July 17, 2008 at 05:05 PM
Is it wrong that this made me laugh?
Posted by: Bassnote | July 17, 2008 at 05:19 PM
Nope. Not at all. We're here for your entertainment, Bassnote.
Posted by: Sean Daly | July 17, 2008 at 05:29 PM
My goals in life....
~ be puked pooped and drooled on by small children
~ make people smile
Posted by: MaiSitter | July 17, 2008 at 05:44 PM
Isn’t this sorta what Andy Dick did to some poor girl at a restaurant the other night?
For comparison's sake: One of them dribbles and speaks in indecipherable sounds. And the other is Daly's daughter.
Posted by: DG | July 17, 2008 at 06:18 PM
i have the limited ability. i can pick things up with my toes. but as an added power i can burp on command. burp after burp after burp. on and on and on. and you know the ladies love that.................
can't play guitar or paint or dunk a basketball but i can burp repeatedly.................. thanks for that one big guy.
Posted by: don in tulsa | July 17, 2008 at 07:14 PM
MaiSitter, how fortunate that your job allows you to meet both of your goals all in one sitting!! ;-) Love the story and thank you for making me smile.
Posted by: SM | July 17, 2008 at 07:47 PM
My ex-husband used to attempt that same toe maneuver in public. Gross. Not anywhere as endearing as Mai Mai's move.
Posted by: Marissa | July 18, 2008 at 09:46 AM