That's just the way they roll

Nick and Kevin Jonas perform at a sold out show for the Jonas Brothers at the Ford Amphitheatre.
Below: Kevin shakes hands with fans before the show.

[KERI WIGINTON | Times]
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TAMPA – Nadine Albadawi has something to say. Well, scream actually. After all, it’s extremely important that she get her point across. Plus she’s also speaking for her pal Samoura Slim, 12, who's still recovering from an epic bout of tweenage sobbing.

“The Jonas Brothers are real!” says the 13-year-old Tampa girl, as her fave band in the whole wide world –-  the ONLY band in the whole wide world as far as she’s concerned -- finishes a pre-show sound-check for 100 lucky fans at Ford Amphitheatre Thursday. “That’s all that matters! They’re real!”

They are not the Beatles. They’re not Elvis, either. But the Jonas Brothers are the biggest story in pop music. Heck, pop culture. The Disney-owned scamps with those fabu ’dos have three albums in the top 10, including the new "A Little Bit Longer." They have a No. 1 cable movie (Disney Channel's "Camp Rock") and a merchandising deal with Target that costs me $30 every time I take my 4-year-old daughter to that godforsaken place.

The Jonas Brothers are also the LOUDEST story in music. Nick, Joe and Kevin Jonas – 15, 19 and 20 respectively, God-fearing good boys from the tony burg of Wyckoff, N.J. -– played their undeniably catchy power-pop for a sold-out crowd of 20,000 at the Tampa venue, reportedly raising the noise meter to somke 120 decibels.

It’s the kind of noise that makes you cry with life-affirming joy…well, for the first five minutes at least. After that, it just sounds like a terrorist tactic.      

Everywhere you look, the Jonas boys are being stalked by young girls. And they love it. Perhaps even more important, they’re also being stalked by a rabid press, including yours truly, who was invited to spend the whole day with the band. They didn't seem to mind that, either.

So while this accessibility makes them look “real,” it also makes them look like cutie-pie rock stars who can’t get a lick of quiet, of privacy, of anything resembling a normal life. It's a brilliantly controlled mob scene featuring three boys taking it all in stride.

Just like the Beatles.

Just like the King.

****

The Jonas Brothers have fairly large, floppy bare feet. Nick, the Cute One, guzzles Diet Dr. Pepper. Kevin, the Nice One, likes to trumpet the joys of Red Bull. Joe, the Funny One (but also kinda cute), is genuinely sweet. He even gave me a fist bump. Right back at ya, buddy.

The Jonas Brothers, boys and girls, are as nice as you (and your parents) hope they are.

I learned these things not from the Q&A session, but by hanging with the guys at the Saddlebrook Resort in Wesley Chapel before their show. When the brothers were faced with yet another formal press conference, they were downright waxen, poised and posed, smoothly issuing the same slick answers they've been giving out for the last couple of years. Not rude, but not exactly a ball of laughs, either.

Joe: "The best part about touring is getting onstage and seeing the fans."

Nick: "We love Tampa. Any chance we get to come here is amazing."

Someone asks Joe about his rumored romance with country star Taylor Swift, and with neither a pause nor a smirk, he answers: "She's a wonderful girl. Anybody would be lucky to meet her." The press chuckles; the Jonas Brothers do not.

Someone asks Kevin, who's turning 21 this year, if he'll celebrate with an adult beverage on his big day. "Um, I'm not there yet," he says. Somewhere, those infamous "purity rings" were gleaming heavenly.

The brothers are famous for never acting like brothers. Never sniping, digging, punching each other in the head. They travel with their mother, father and younger brother, aka "the Bonus Jonas," one big polite happy family.

But keep watching and maybe you'll get something. Saddlebrook officials cooked up a team-building exercise for the guys. Each brother had to build a boat out of cardboard then race it across the pool. It was obviously meant as a zany photo op. "Oh no," whispered PR rep Carolyn Weyforth. "Not when it's about competition. You watch."

And indeed, with the theme from "Gilligan's Island" gamboling from a loudspeaker, Nick, Joe and Kevin went at it with an earnest fever. Nick made a teepee ("Paradise Pyramid"), Kevin a canoe ("Titanic 2"), Joe a shanty hovel ("Pool Master 5000"). When they finally launched, Nick sank, but Joe and Kevin remained afloat. Two feet from winning, Kevin took on water, and Joe, cruising to victory, immediately ripped into his sibling with a closed-door ferocity: "You're out! You're out!"

Not exactly a punch in the head. But as for trash talk, I'll take it.

****

It's easy to get cynical about pop culture these days, especially with such vapid tartlets as Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears doing their best to be dumb. And the Jonas Brothers certainly garner their share of snipes from people who don't believe they write their own songs or play their own instruments. (I was at sound-check and the show; the boys can play, trust me.)

How real can a band be if they're run by the Mouse House, the same place that made Miley "Hannah Montana" Cyrus a prefab star? Disney, after all, is make-believe.

And yet, when the Jonas Brothers finally took the stage at 9:00, descending on a hydraulic lift and kicking into theme song "That's Just the Way We Roll," you couldn't help but get a little misty-eyed.

"The last time I went to a show like this was Andy Gibb," said Mia Alvis, a Sarasota mom with two kids in tow. "It's nice. I hope that purity ring stuff sticks. I like that."

Maybe the Jonas Brothers will only get as big as Andy Gibb. Or Hanson. Or New Kids on the Block. But on this night, on this tour, the Jonas Brothers felt like the biggest act of the 21st century, the coolest role models in the universe. The fans felt it. The oft-jaded press felt it.

As my pal Nadine would say, it was definitely, deafeningly real.

Comments

[DMS]

We are destroying our children's imagination by feeding them this simplistic watered-down crap that is passing for music. Music should be art, not a payday.

[jrtampa]

jonas bros. concert was a real disappointment,my 8 year old daughter could hardly see and the sound was completely awful for all 3 bands.not to mention why didn't they have video screens going on the sides of the stage for the people in the back and the lawn?

[MaiSitter]

You are now a God in my children's eyes!

[faith]

OMJ! ?(Oh my Jonas) i went last nite on the v.i.p. tour and it was amazing! i met the Jonas Brothers and Demi Lovato and they are sooo down to earth and sweet! I also gave Nick a hug! Now my next goal, to get front row and meet them again! I AM THEIR BIGGEST FAN!!!!!!! :-) I LOVE THE JONAS BROTHERS MORE!!!!!

[Cat]

WOW-MEOOOW! She'll be the envy & the coolest kid in preschool today.

[Sean Daly]

Rest assured, Kid Lulu went to school this morning with some trinkets to show her pals (oh, and a giant picture of Daddy hanging with her heroes).

[starfish]

SD- Did you at least get something for Kid Lu Lu?? Since she saw the picture she obviously knows you were with them, you had to have gotten her just a little something!

[Gretchen]

^^^ Opps-I meant CONCERT

[Gretchen]

My daughter who's six, really enjoyed the concert last nite and I enjoyed seeing her have fun. But we chose to leave early (a little before 10:00 pm) b/c it was getting late and the screaming girls were KILLING my ears!!! I'm not kidding, my ears are STILL hurting and I'm worried that we may have suffered permanant hearing loss!

Just a little upset that I didn't get to hear my favorite "Burning Up". Overall- A Great Concrete

[John Hays]

Never heard any of their music.

[Marissa]

Being in good company with Bassnote and Jeff in Cuba makes me feel so much less of a dork or guilty for pilfering tunes from my son.

Maybe, just maybe I'll manage to get the Man-cub to a JoBros concert.

[SP]

We had a great time at the show! My son commented 'its our first Jonas Brothers concert' which apparently implies we'll be seeing another one! I was impressed.

[jo]

Excellent evaluation Sean.
Heartfelt and humorous.

I enjoy your writing.
I enjoy your adventures.
I enjoy your blog.

Take tomorrow off with pay.

Good Nite.

[Bassnote]

I meant "excellent write-up".

[Bassnote]

An excellent write there SD. I must admit that, like our friend Jeff In Cuba, I have kinda been digging the power pop of the JoBros lately. It's good to see them come off as very genuine.

[Vegasgirlfriend]

Jeff - speaking as a former employee of The Black Rat who still cries every time she watches Toy Story 2, I say go for it.

[Marissa]

When cruising in the Riss-mobile, my son and I sing at the top of our lungs, "so call us freaks ... but that's just the way we roll!"

You've had one heck of a day, Sean Daly. What are you going to do next!?

[Jeff in Cuba]

Riddle me this SD:

Can I be a JoBros fan and still harbor my famous deep-seated resentment against the Mouse's cross-promotional juggernaut? Can I raise my fist in righteous protest, only to end up shaking it the Power Pop beat?

And can I really poach tunes off my 6th-grader's iPod?