I kinda look like the Lemonheads guy

I'm a big fan of the Lemonhead. Well, for the first 30 seconds at least. Once that sour shell has been devoured, this hard candy gets depressing quick. So I immediately pop another in my craw. Then another. After about 20 minutes of this, I've lost the ability to taste anything, as the Lemonhead has destroyed my mouth. Good times.

For this reason and more, Lemonheads will be one of the featured confections handed out at the Daly manse this Halloween. Also in the cavernous trough of joy: Take 5s, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Peanut M&Ms and 100 Grands, which are delicious and almost impossible to chew without gagging.

WHAT ARE YOU HANDING OUT FOR HALLOWEEN?

Last year I gave one of my neighbors guff for distributing Play-Doh instead of treats. I haven't seen this neighbor since, as they were forced to move due to threats and vitriol and a barrage of poorly molded "doh" animals being hurled at their house. Listen, folks, you're not making a difference by giving out healthy crap on Halloween. In fact, the only thing you're doing is making sure your own children get persecuted at recess for being dorks. This persecution will lead to a variety of social misfitism, which will lead to crime sprees and self-hate and night "classes" at Baby Dolls. So help your kids go to Harvard and give out Lemonheads for Halloween. It's the right thing to do. 

Comments

[SM]

Last year was the first Halloween we'd lived in our current house.. I always buy a wide selection of good candy, Butterfinger, Snickers, KitKats, Reeses Peanut Butter Cups (naturally we heavily favor anything chocolate just in case there's anything left!)and we always throw in Mike and Ike's for good measure.

We live near our little town's "Downtown" so we expected a lot of trick treaters. Needless to say I bought tons of candy. Well, by the time 8pm rolled around, we'd only had a slow trickle of trick or treaters. I didn't want to have that much candy left, so I started doling out two handfuls at a time and the kids were positively jubilant! Word must have spread because around 8:30, we were suddenly bombarded with kids.. and nearly ran out of candy.

While my candy faux pas earned us prime status as "one of the good houses to frequent on Halloween" I also gave us a reputation that we will be forced to live up to each Halloween!

[Ferg]

I slept through Halloween this year (ear plugs ftw!), but my wife works at Town Hall where we live, and she has a costume contest and then hands out candy afterwards. This year they got 6 different kinds of regular-sized chocolate bars to hand out.

When we first got married, we lived in an apartment complex. We were ready for our first Halloween, but no kids showed up. The next year, we had individually wrapped Pez dispensers to give out. We did get a few kids at first, but then there was a flood of kids later in the day. I guess the word got out, and even the parents thought it was cool.

[jim w.]

FF, the father in law is manning the trick-or-treat doling at the webster house of horror tonight. pam and i are in texas, and will be meeting up with mario and rachael tomorrow. or maybe just someone dressed like them.

btw, i just went to a high-brow texas supermarket, and one of the employees was dressed like kale. including real kale.

[John Hays]

It's all about the chocolate based stuff. Hersheys miniatures, Reese's anything, Snickers, York patties, etc...

[Lori]

Sean, I just love it when your writing causes me to laugh out loud.

I have a policy of buying only candy that I like to eat, so Twix, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, 100 Grands, Snickers, Milky Way, etc. Buying ahead of time, I've found, only ensures that you have to buy more by the time Halloween arrives.

We had a wealthy family in our old neighborhood in Va. who lived way out on the point at the end of a long driveway running through the woods. Every Halloween they gave away those JUMBO-SIZED bars, and you better believe every kid wanted to make sure they got to trick or treat there.

[surfdog]

butterfingers

[Tonianne]

Last year I opened my door to a little girl dressed in a slinky black cocktail dress, with a fibrous blonde wig and white face powder. Commenting how she was too pretty to be among the undead she assured me,"I'm NOT a zombie - I'm Ann Coulter!"

Naturally I emptied my candy bowl into her bag.

I've already seen 2 mini-Palins on their way to school this morning, and a tiny Obama, complete with microphone and "Yes We Can" podium, that might have been a *tad* too minstrel show for my liking (I'd love to see how the kindergarten teacher handles that one). As such, it is clear DC puts its own spin on the holiday.

So creativity was in order for this year's loot: Full-sized Snickers bars with miniature copies of the US Constitution tied to each bar.

Because attaching them to a pack of Chuckles would have been far too polemical, even for me.

[GlennS.]

This has got to be the only music blog where a reference to Lemonheads turns out to be about the candy and not the 90s-era band. But your description of the candy was actually pretty spot on for the band as well. "Once that sour shell has been devoured, this hard candy gets depressing quick." Yep.

[Jeff in Cuba]

I think I 've shared this story before, but it's a Halloween classic:

We had a big, blowout Halloween party back at Colorado State (I think it was '82). One of our friends was working at Godfather's Pizza, and he showed up with a 25 lb box of frozen pepperoni slices he had boosted from his (soon-to-be-ex) employer.

So when trick-or-treating rolled around, we answered the door with a big bowl of greasy orange discs.

And before anyone takes me to task for ruining some kid's Halloween, let me point out that parents who let their kid's trick-or-treat campus apartments deserve processed meat.

[Marissa]

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

If you want to see a scary sight, go look at my blog today :~

[Forever Fiancee]

Jim, if you tell me you're giving out samples of Pig Wrapped Pig Stuffed Pig I'm soooooooo stopping at your house first!

And I hope that couple who gave out candy to the kids and frosty, cold beer to the adults is out again this year! I really, really like them! Good people!

[Cat]

PS:

HAPPY HAUNTING EVERYONE!

[Cat]

Kit Kat Bars (natch) & Wax Lips

[jim w.]

i don't want to give out any significant clues as to the secret location of the Pop Life lair, but i can attest to the fact that it has an giant inflatable pumpkin out front, and i think that it looks more like sean than the lemonheads guy.

[MaiSitter]

Swedish FIsh, Sour Patch Kids, Nerds, Mini M&M's, Skittles well that is IF I don't eat it all first. This is my favorite holiday and now my kids do the foot work. I reap the rewards. :)

[jo]

No, your hair looks better than Lemonhead's.

We don't get too many kids, so we give out good stuff so they spread the word.

Joe picked up `Full Size` Baby Ruths, 3 Musketeers, Charleston Chews & Cow's Tails, & we have boxes & boxes of Mardi Gras beads & crowns, so we give everybody at least a half dozen. They seem to like the beads & crowns more than the candy.

[Marissa]

I always buy stuff the Man-cub and I will eat if there's left overs. So, that means Skittles, Starburst, Snickers, Milky Way, Twix, and Reese's Pnut Butter Cups.
Plus, I love hearing the kids walk away saying, "she's giving away good stuff!"

[Bassnote]

Giving away Reese's peanut butter cups, Hershey bars, and Kit-Kits at our house this year. Need to make a good impression in the new neighborhood.

[Jeff in Cuba]

There are only 5 houses in our neighborhood, so we take the kids to our friends' neighborhood to trick or treat.

But in case anyone does swing by our neck of the woods we leave a bowl full of candy on the front porch along with a few disposable cameras. We hang up a sign asking visitors to take some candy and then take their picture so we can see what we missed.

Anyway, because the candy has to sit on an 85-degree porch all evening, we've gone to a non-chocolate selection. Big Pixy Stix, Nerds, and yes, Lemonheads.

[NickWithAnAxe]

As a kid, I remembered what houses gave out the good stuff. I also remembered the houses that gave out toothbrushes, raisins or those god-awful popcorn balls.

Suffice to say, those offenders paid the price in shaving cream and egg yolk.

Mmmmm...egg yolk.