LIVE REVIEW: Britney Spears

TAMPA –- Don’t blame Britney Spears for starting her Sunday extravaganza at the St. Pete Times Forum at the decidedly un-school-night hour of 10:15 p.m. Instead, blame those evil geophysicists – or, like, whoever -- for coming up with that mind-messing new phenomenon: daylight saving time! Mwahaha!

After a Saturday gig in Miami, the pop singer’s production team reportedly got a late jump building the multi-million-dollar stage for our local stop of her Circus tour. (It was also just the fourth night of Brit-Brit's comeback jaunt.) To the crew’s credit, the massive, in-the-round stage looked not unlike the giant mothership at the end of “Close Encounters of the Third Kind"...you know, if it were inhabited by exotic dancers. Take me to your stripper!

When the 27-year-old trouble magnet did finally show up – descending from the rafters, dressed in one half of a ringmaster's uniform  --  the crazy-big crowd of 20,004 greeted her with tender, ear-bleeding caterwauls of love. The crowd was made up predominantly of young women, almost all of whom (1) looked to be exactly 18-years-and-one-day-old and (2) haven’t yet learned to walk in their 6-inch heels. (As the father of daughters, well, the word is "conflicted.") 

Surrounded by all manner of masked, acrobatic brutes, Britney opened with the title track from new disc "Circus." That immediately begged the question: Was she actually singing? Seeing as how she barely sings on her own albums -- and that the giant video screens NEVER showed close-ups of her -- rest assured she was using backing tracks and a whole lot of molar-rattling booty bass. Nah. No singing.

But as my 5-year-old likes to sass, “Hellooo, missing the point.” Brit's job was to distract from her limitations, delight with her strengths: looking hot (and fit), having killer hair, and, during "Piece of Me," writhing in, and on top of, a golden cage pushed by guys dressed like the Gimp in "Pulp Fiction."

It was Cirque du Skanky, and usually the star was just too busy to sing. In between the scads of costume changes, almost all of which left her bottomless, there were shenanigans involving karate dudes, magic dudes, dudes on bikes, dudes doing push-ups. Give Brit credit: She's an equal opportunity sex kitten.   

Mouthing the words to the songs -- "Boys," the naughty "If You Seek Amy," "Do Something," all played at incredibly loud volumes -- she kept moving, skipping from one end of the long, wildly lit stage to the other. Her show was segmented into chapters -- "House of Fun, "Freakshow" -- and yet despite the themes, her dance moves were never more complicated than an angry stomp,  a dirty shimmy.

Honestly? She is a truly lousy dancer. Like, drunk-cousin-at-your-wedding lousy. That said, girlfriend strikes a mean pose, and each defiant bit of 'tude drew more jubilant crowd hollers. For all her troubles, for all her scandal, Britney is adored by her fans and loved unconditionally. Twenty-thousand people just went absolutely crazy for her for an hour and 40 minutes. You get that, right?

Anyway, there were a few clever surprises. She turned "Me Against the Music," previously a duet with Madonna, into a Bollywood number, a cool nod to the popularity of "Slumdog Millionaire." She perched on a bejeweled umbrella for the ballad "Everytime"; just call her Scary Poppins. For "Breathe on Me/Touch of My Hand," a bound, blindfolded Brit rode a spinning swing made of dudes.

At about the time the choreography started to lose its oomph, and Brit started to look tuckered (she resorted to a Rerun on "What's Happenin'?" dance), she got around to her biggest hits: "I'm a Slave 4 U," the great dancer "Toxic" and a remix of "...Baby One More Time."

After robust chants of "Britney! Britney!" she returned for her encore, "Womanizer," performed in a cop's uniform with requisite nightstick.

As a concert, it was subpar. As a spectacle, it was better. But let's be honest, the coolest thing about seeing Britney Spears is telling your friends about it Monday morning. So brag hard. Have fun.

And be careful with those 6-inch heels.

Comments

[karen]

The one part of the Sean Daly's review that REALLY made my blood boil was the part where he said she barely sings on her own albums. Now that just shows complete ignorance of the subject he's talking about. Britney albums are unique and amazing BECAUSE of Britney's vocals and for no other reason. Millions of fans ARE fans because of her voice on her albums. Her tours are not required to be anything more than they are - a chance to be in the presence of a legend and witness her with your own eyes.

[sophie]

Britny is my role model.

[Britney's junk was hanging out!]

Sean: why didn't you include Britney's wardrobe malfunction in your review? We had to hear it on TV the next day.

During one manueuver, while they were lowering her, the crotch of her tight costume split, & her inner pu$$y lips were hanging out. She forgot that her mic was on when she "felt the breeze" on her crinkly, naughty lady bits, and yelled, " Hey, my sn@@ch is hanging out!" We know that everybody has already seen it--many times-- but you could have reported it first.

[Maura]

It is such a shame that people are so willing to "settle". That is why people like Britney get away with being a fraud. What happened to having standards? Taking pride in what you are doing? Why accept the substandard?

[britney suucks]

Any one that pays $1500 for that wouldnt know a real show if it bit them in the butt. Lip Syncing is cheating when you pay to hear someone sing and they go karaoke on you.

[Maura]

So it is ok that she lip synchs because she has a weak voice? If she has such a "beautiful voice" why not use it in concert? Other artists put on full shows without resorting to cheating. She has potential. If she were to put on a real show she has the potential to probably wow her critics. But she picks the lazy way out. She cheats. She pretends to be a singer. She puts no effort into it. As her fans you should be disappointed. You should be demanding more.

I do not care about her personal life. If that is the reason that she is cheating then she should not be on tour. Right now Britney Spears is a fraud. Her fans go for a concert and instead get what? What is she giving to her fans? She dances on stage. She wears skimpy costumes. Is that really worth the price of a ticket?

[don't bother me]

So over this conversation, lol

Britney can and does sing live. Not as often as her fans would like, but she doesn't have a belting powerful voice like many of her contemporaries. It's subtle and full of character. And beautiful.

Britney can and does write her own songs. Everytime, which she wrote for JT, being her most notable http://britneyology.com/articles/the-in-depth-series/in-depth-everytime.html
and Mona Lisa being one of the least known and my favorite (demo version bitches!)http://britneyology.com/articles/the-in-depth-series/in-depth-mona-lisa.html
it's so quirky and off and just... rocks my soul a lil bit, I don't know why lol. And the foreshadowing is kind of amazing.

Anyway, I really don't feel like condensing my years of Britney knowledge into a few easily digestible paragraphs in a vain effort to enlighten minds that aren't open.

So go educate yourselves if you truly want to speak with any legitimacy on the subject of Britney Spears, or just keep regurgitating trite media soundbites if that's your thing, I truly don't care.

Peace Out
May the Brit be with you
Amen

[Lisa]

What are you a "true fan" of? No one has clarified that yet. She does not do her own singing. She does not play any instruments on her own. The CDs released are processed to the point that even a child could sound good (courtesy of the record companies).

All she does is stand there in skimpy outfits and dance. I keep hearing "we are fans". Of what? Any bleach blonde female could be up there - since she does nothing but stand there. Why are you not demanding more of your idol? If she is all that you think why do you accept this type of performance? Why accept less? Why accept an overprocessed karaoke session? If she is as talented as you say why doesn't she perform for real? Other artists do it. Why can't she?

[Mike]

You know what was great about shows like AC/DC and Van Halen? While subpar vocally at times - it was REAL. The realist thing about her show? The clip I saw on Youtube about about "her pu**y hanging out." That was actually funny.

[ladyB]

nuf said...britney is amazing! deal with it anti-britz!

[Lisas dad]

Britney has really been a huge part of our lives for so long, 10 years if your a true fan, so its almost like shes family or a friend in some sense. Its hard for us to understand the hate, people could have for her, yet they will support other acts that have no talent in our opinion. It is sad we have to defend a woman, because we take it personally. All that she can do is keep doing what she loves to take care of her beautiful boys! Any mother would do that, any woman who has kids and wouldn't, is not a mother.

Strip club? might be your employer, but thats why we'd willingly dish out $1500 to see Britney because she is the furthest thing from "lisa" we can possibly get, thank god.

[Lisa]

What is lame are those who pay to watch a canned performance. What exactly does Britney do? Write her own material? Very seldom. Sing live in concert? No. Can she play any musical instruments? Again very seldom. So what does she do? Run around on a stage in skimpy clothes. You want to pay to see that? Go to a strip club. It would be cheaper. The strippers and lap dancers are at least honest about what they do.

[xavier]

U2??? LAMMMEEE

Lisa can choke on her dads...c***!! again.

[CHAD]

britney comes to louisiana, but no u2, this blows.

[Lisa]

(I posted this in the other review section too.)

You PAID to see karaoke. You can get that for free at various bars and/or fairs around the area. Are you even sure it was Britney up there? As the expression goes "A fool and their money are easily parted". There were a lot of fools at this show.

"Britney still has it". Has what? The so-called talent to lip synch? Anyone can do that. By lip synching she showed a remarkable lack of respect for the fans who still support her. As for the fans who do not care.... Why? Why are you settling for less? Why are you not demanding that for the amount of money you spent that you actually get a concert?

[jojo]

Ha-ha,
wait till "rayons" stabbed and gutted and left to die in a street some place, then see if they seem any less important to any of us. Probably not, but let's anticipate it. :)

[Britneysuuuucks]

Go see a real artist perform.
Right on SeanD

[rayon]

Shoofly:

Thanks for proving my point about the idiocy of Britney Spears and her "fans." BTW, it's Joan BAEZ. And I haven't gotten high in 15 years.

And though I know I won't convince you (I'd have more luck explaining the stimulus plan to a head of red cabbage), here's a pricely little gem in your tirade:

"The songs she picks for her albums"

As with her videos, her stage set,and her overall "persona," Britney Spears is responsible for NOTHING. She can't even write the drivel she delivers! How freaking talentless can she be?

Here's the deal, kitten; Britney is PRODUCT - assembled by cynical record industry wonks who care ONLY about how many morons they can convince to shell out money for what they're selling you you as "entertainment."

XOXO,
rayon

I went to Britney's concert and it was worth every penny. I feel that everyone that is rudely making fun of her is just jealous. Britney has gone through a lot and made a great come back. Everyone there enjoyed the concert. Is that the most important thing. To make the fans happy!!!!
P.S. I am 22 years old and I wore flats Sean!!!!!

[IfYouSeekAmy]

Fo Shizzle. Next stop's the white house bitches.

[S H R I 6]

LOOK OUT!

Pop Life is being taken over by slutty hood-rats in 6 inch heels.

What an original and thoughtful critique Caesar, and I thought Britney fans were supposed to be the ones with low IQs. Oh no, we're the slutty hood-rats in heels right?... except when we're not.

[Right On Caesar]

RIGHT ON!

[caesar]

Britney Spears is a boozing, no-talent, lip-sincing, master of mis-direction has been who has bamboozled millions of mindless, lemming teenagers who want to win the teenage lottery of the love of millions through no talent and effort on their own. Just read below. Nuff said...

[Britney's Back]

The song is called "Everytime", Mr. Daly. You obviously confused Britney with Tim McGraw.

[James]

What happened with her saying somthing off stage? somthing about her wardrobe?

[Bassnote]

I see the high school mafia has come out in force against you SD. Personally, I would rather have my fingernails pulled off with a pair of pliers than spend one second at Britney's "concert". I really don't know if this qualifies as a concert, maybe bad theater. A concert involves actual musicians actually playing their instruments, and live singing.

[don't bother me]

Britney is the Queen of pop music, there is no other female pop artist out there who comes close to her world wide dominance, aside from Madonna. And I agree with Lilly Allen that Brit has surpassed Madonna as the Queen of pop for this generation, Madge can be Queen mum.

If you want to equate pop music to cheese whiz, go ahead. For me, I like all genres of music, everything from Chopin to the Violent Femmes and I don't feel the need to sort them in order of worthiness. Their all good to me, just different.

But again, music is all opinion and I'm just sharing mine.

[Clark]

To those throwing words like "Genius" around: There's nothing wrong with liking spray cheez if that's your thing(it's particularly delicious on hot dogs) but don't try to defend it as gourmet cuisine...unless you don't know the difference. In which case, you should be willing to admit that.

[Pretenders/Hasselhoff FAN CLUB]

Pretenders on Jimmy Kimmel Wednesday 3/11

Hasseldork on Kimmel Thursday 3/12

[Dominic]

Sean;

As a music critic, perhaps your efforts are misapplied in reviewing a Britney Spears "concert." I know newspapers are in poor financial shape these days, but perhaps the Times could hire a Spectacle Critic who could review pretty, lip-syncing dancers. I'm sure there are any number of 14-year-olds who would be suited for the job. That way you can stick to reviewing artists who actually perform music.

Just a suggestion.

[Joe]

Isn't time for her to spit out another kid?

[Love-Love-Love -- Love is all you need]

So many love notes, Sean
So little time

[smelly melly wins page 2 quote this morning]

"If you're going to review someone, pull up your pants and do your research on her songs before you comment!!"

smelly melly

Now THAT'S funny!

Yeah, pull your pants up Sean.

[Cat]

CIRQUE DU SKANKY -- Now that's funny!

I'd like to ride on a " spinning swing made of dudes."

[Marissa]

One has to love the chaos theory.

[sealmoy]

to rayon,jeff, the church,and sean daly...go back to 16th century where you definitely belong...

[LefsaFan]

This attempt at a review is amazingly ignorant and wrong headed. Sean Daly, you are out of your element. The average Walmart greeter could have written a fair and intelligent review, but not you, apparently. She's a lousy dancer?? Can't sing?? Britney is the most spectacular, most talented pop performer on the planet. Nobody can do what she does, although some try. Tampabay.com wasted its money sending a fool like you to the concert.

[annej]

I dont know you, and I dont care what your opinion is. What I care about whats going on in America is Britney alone.

[E]

I respect your opinion...a Britney concert isn't going to appeal to everyone. But the review was unprofessional and contradicting. Amateur journalism...couldn't even get song titles correct. On top of that, this site has a lame poll with some of the tackiest options to vote on in regards to the concert. It’s like the people running this enjoy poking fun at Britney. You guys are so ~cool.~ You’re taste in music must be above everyone else.

[melly]

If you're going to review someone, pull up your pants and do your research on her songs before you comment!!Whether you're a fan of her music or not or anyone's music for that matter, you should really do your research. That's honestly just a sign of a bad journalist. A professional well respected newspaper (like the New York Times) would never write something like that and if they did, it would be correct. I mean a review is a review and it's an opinion, but getting the songs wrong and having incorrect facts is really just a sign of an amateur newspaper/blog/whatever and a lousy journalist,
and Seriously.. Write something that suits your style, like maybe a review for Dylan, Prince,U2, Public Enemy to Stan Get..and don`t go to Pop concerts

[Gus]

ok, this guy daly sucks badly.
ignorant -

[shoofly]

To Rayon:

I know you and your cronies probably like to toke up and wax poetic about the ills of pop culture on society, puffing your chests as you recount all the ways in which you are better than Britney and her ilk before a stimulating evening of slitting your wrists to Joan Biaz...

I am a connoisseur of music, I can appreciate all styles and I see clearly the genius and talent that Britney has.

She has a genius feel for pop culture and what works. The songs she picks for her albums, the amazing video and performance concepts she comes up with that capture the imagination of the world, the songs she fights tooth and nail with her record label to get released which invariably end up taking over the charts.

She is highly tuned in to this wavelength of pop culture and is very much responsible for her own success and her legion of fans world wide - From Dubai to Des Moines.

The media will never give her credit for it. Tumid minded folks like your self will never give her credit for it or step out side your little bubbles of pretense to even give her a fair look, but that's your loss.

Britney is the dessert at my banquet.
She's a silky chocolate pudding topped with fattening whipped cream and cherries, doused with vodka and set on fire.

Is she as good for my body as plate of steamed broccoli? no. Will she strengthen my bones like a tall frosty glass of milk? no. But she quenches my sweet tooth like no other.

So go ahead and tell me how good for me broccoli is and how my desert is just full of empty calories... you don't get the point (to borrow from the 5 year old) and you never will.

sucks to be you.

[the church]

To the writer of this article: next time write about the talentless Hanna Montana. Then you can get the invective of a zillion brainless 12 yr. old dip-weed future Americans. Again, the advance work done must make the kids feel like they're at Captain Kangaroo on steroids and LSD. It's the new teen scene. Too bad the poor kids don't know their pre-cast financial future yet. They'd start saving every dime right now instead of stuffing the pockets of the cynical clowns that produce that crap. I thought it was funny semi-adults got so mad at the article and emoted w/such nastiness. Music is subjective anyway so screw them. They probably think reporters pick all their assignments as well.

[the church]

For all you sad sacks out there infatuated with the latest gadget that promoters come up with, Id pity you if I cared. The trash entertainment around today-including the absolute crap on TV is pablum for the ignorant masses: And it seems to work, too. For Madonna lovers, she needed more advance work than George Bush did before she "went on." Hype is hype and some suckers fall for it. As for the attacks on the writer of the article, he was painfully generous and as polite as possible considering the chance he'd barf if he just hacked out some clam story. What can you say when the subject is nothing? Shitheads.

[Anthony James]

Haha, "Everywhere". siiiiick.

Amazing show, fan or not. Britney-bashing is def. not 2009-style -- go somewhere.

[rayon]

Here's some advice for all you offended Britney fans: GTFU. Figure out what that means. Jesus, I just hope whatever birth control method your morons are using is really effective....

[relegated to writing for a tampa bay newspaper]

The writer contradicts himself:

"and yet despite the themes, her dance moves were never more complicated than an angry stomp, a dirty shimmy."

but further on:

"Honestly? She is a truly lousy dancer. Like, drunk-cousin-at-your-wedding lousy"

So which is it Mr. Daly? Were the moves very simplistic and never more than shimmys or was her dancing lousy?

Please at least get the song titles right if you're going to do a legit review.

But why should readers expect anything less than a hurried, misogynistic, banal, and insipid review from somebody working at St. Petersburg Times? Eh

[Ryan]

Did anyone who went to the Tampa concert catch Britney's comment right after "I'm a slave for you" when she was descending under the stage. She blurted our that her ***** was hanging out. NOT JOKING. Apparently she didn't realize the mic was still on.

[Britney Is The Queen Of POP]

Yawn Britney bashing is so 2007 I guess you didn't get the memo. And btw next time do your research before attempting to write about someone who you obviously don't know anything about. Britney is a Legend and icon she has millions of dedicated and loyal fans on every continent of the world. You should be honored she came to Tampa to perform for you guys.