SD's 2009 Christmas Music Spectacular!

 

I should apologize now to all 68-year-old divorcees and related Neil Diamond fans. I usually love cheesy Neil. I even love gooey, greasy Velveeta Neil. But his new Cherry Cherry Christmas is a stinker. Of course, I'm obviously delirious, 'cause I somehow liked David Archuleta's yuletide offering, that cute lil' Disneyfied eunuch. For all the ho-ho hits, READ THIS, BOYS AND GIRLS.

'Suckin' It for the Holidays'? An exposed Kathy Griffin leads a barrage of Christmas albums

On the list of people you never want to find under the mistletoe, you gotta rank Kathy Griffin up there pretty high. Like maybe right after Dick Cheney but ahead of, like, everyone else in the entire world, living or dead. But maybe that's me? Maybe you have no problems with this album cover, on which the comedienne is presumably exposing her naughty bits to an unfortunately situated St. Nick?

Griffin's wistfully titled holiday disc, Suckin' It for the Holidays, is one of myriad Santa season discs stacked high on my work desk right now. I'm currently listening to the soundtrack of A Christmas Story, which is just now being released 26 years after the movie's release. Ralphie's flick isn't famous for its music, but it's sweet and funny and engrained in our DNA, so kudos to the folks at Rhino for finally putting it out there.

Here are the other new holiday albums I'll be working through:

Bob Dylan -- Christmas in the Heart
Sting -- If on a Winter's Night
Neil Diamond -- A Cherry Cherry Christmas
Michael McDonald -- This Christmas
Sugarland -- Gold and Green"
Tori Amos -- Midwinter Graces
REO Speedwagon -- Not So Silent Night
Connie Talbot -- Holiday Magic
The Dan Band -- Ho
Various Artists -- Putumayo Presents A Family Christmas
David Archuleta -- Christmas From the Heart