Whither Eddie Money? Morningwood, Jet kick off Friday's Ribfest bacchanal in St. Pete

Morningwood |MTV Music

For years, the annual Ribfest pork orgy at Vinoy Park in St. Petersburg has been soundtracked by a cavalcade of '70s and '80s acts. Think Eddie Money, Night Ranger, Asia, Pat Benatar. But lookee here, boys and girls: This year's beeftacular will be kicked off by the sexed-up art-pop of Morningwood (up there is the video for new song Sugarbaby) and the cocksure Aussie brigade of neo-Stonesian rockers JET. How cool is that?! Don't worry: George Thorogood and Blue Oyster Cult will be there Saturday. And everybody will get their country fix on Sunday with the Zac Brown Band and my pal Suite Caroline . But I'll be there Friday to cheer on the changes. Here's the full Ribfest schedule.

Wolfmother: New album, new song, new giant 'fro for head shredder Andrew Stockdale

Wolfmother |MTV Music

Man, I love this band. The return of Wolfmother makes me want to resurface my entire home in fake-wood-paneling and make a bong out of a lava lamp. The hirsute quartet (but really just singer-guitarist Andrew Stockdale and replaceable dudes) released sophomore disc Cosmic Egg this week. It's awesomely stuck in the shaggy '70s or wherever corduroy slacks are sold. Badass first single is New Moon Rising. Have fun and howl almighty.

Here's MTV's Halloween Playlist

 

As we put the finishing touches on the Ultimate Halloween Playlist -- stay tuned for the Top 10 -- here's a rundown of MTV's top haunted videos. I can honestly say I didn't even think of putting Rihanna's Disturbia on our list of 40 songs; same with Jibbs' King Kong (wha???). They have Ray Parker Jr. in the No. 4 slot; but our list is so damn cool, Mr. Ghostbusters could only muster No. 33. Anyway, to watch all of MTV's spooky spots, GO HERE.

The Ultimate Halloween Playlist Nos. 20-11

 

Pennies, stickers, toothbrushes, toothpaste, anything promoting positive dental care — none of this is acceptable to give out on Halloween. Same goes for uncandied apples, Play Doh, boxes of raisins and anti-pagan tchotchkes doled out by women who remind you of Carrie’s mom. (Dirty pillows!) Here’s the deal, spoilsports: Kids will consume pounds of choco goodness whether you like it or not. In fact, you’re actually being harmful by trying to be healthy with your tricky treats. Why? Because (1) the “Stay in School” pencil topper you insisted on giving out are destined for a nearby landfill and (2) so is the toilet paper that will inevitably be wrapped around your house because kids hate you. Me? I’m giving out Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, KitKats and Take 5s. Cliche? Maybe. Delicious? Yep. Have a Baby Ruth, boys and girls, and enjoy the Halloween Playlist, Nos. 20-11.

20 Bark at the Moon, Ozzy Osbourne
19 Pet Sematary,the Ramones
18 Mr. Sandman, the Chordettes
17 (You’re the) Devil in Disguise, Elvis Presley
16 Witchcraft, Frank Sinatra
15 Grim Grinning Ghosts, from Disney’s Haunted Mansion ride
14 The Munsters Theme, Los Straitjackets
13 Psycho Killer, Talking Heads
12 Welcome to My Nightmare, Alice Cooper
11 I Want Candy, Bow Wow Wow

To recap, here are Nos. 40-31 and Nos. 30-21. 

Next week...the Terrifying Top 10!!!

Thom Yorke: New song "All for the Best"

Thom Yorke |MTV Music

Radiohead's Thom Yorke recorded this song for the new charity comp Ciao My Shining Star: The Songs of Mark Mulcahy. Mulcahy is the former frontman of New Haven, Conn., band Miracle Legion. Late last year, Mulcahy's wife Melissa died suddenly, leaving Mark to raise the couple's three-year-old twins. All for the Best was originally recorded by Miracle Legion. Here, Yorke lets humanity slip through the programmed cracks. It's brutal but beautiful.

Best Madonna Dance Song? Ballad? Video?

In celebration of Celebration, Madonna's new 2CD greatest hits comp out this week, I've been asked to compile a few Top 5 lists about our 51-year-old Material Girl.

BEST DANCE SONG?

BEST BALLAD?

BEST VIDEO (SEXY DIVISION)?

Celebration has 36 tracks (including two new songs); there's also a 2DVD video comp. I'm not a Madge Hater like Steve "Spearsy" Spears. And yet, I found myself skipping through a lot of her "hits," all digitally remastered from the original recordings. Papa Don't Preach hasn't aged well; same goes for Like a Prayer. Borderline, however, remains an incandescent bit o' fluff.

Madonna is inherently vainglorious, so anytime she tries to infuse substance or nuance into her music, I'm not buying it. For that reason, her horny dance stuff has survived much better. I'll BS about all this later. For now, let's hear your Madonna faves...

Muse: New song "Uprising"

Muse |MTV Music

The British eggheads in Muse must sound uniquely mind-expanding to a 13-year-old kid munching chips in front of MTV. All that operatic grandiosity, all those guitar theatrics, all the sci-fi synths and trippy lyricism and end-credit oomph. But after listening to the trio's new album The Resistance, which has all the subtlety of a Freddie Mercury wardrobe change, any veteran music fan will be amused at Muse's heavy-lifting from such predecessors as Queen, Radiohead, Depeche Mode, even Chopin. That's not to say this is bad stuff -- in fact, it's incredibly entertaining, if a bit silly. Muse, which has been around since the early '90s, opens for U2 on Oct. 9 at Raymond James Stadium. I'm looking forward to it. Here's first single Uprising. Whattaya think?

2009 MTV VMAs: Taylor Swift shoulda brained Kanye West with her moonman

The MTV Video Music Awards are still just a crass, hyperstylized shill for upcoming product. (Heck, the most anticipated moment of the night was a movie trailer for Twilight flick New Moon.) But the 2009 edition had some diverting moments. Lady Gaga drenched herself in theater blood and scared my kid. Beyonce showed off her coconut-cracking gams in a Single Ladies redux. And after Taylor Swift won a moonman for best female video for You Belong With Me, Kanye West bounded onstage (he's always bounding onstage), grabbed her microphone and said, "Taylor, I'm really happy for you, I'll let you finish. But Beyoncé has one of the best videos of all time. One of the best videos of all time!" It was a pathetic move by Kanye, but mainly because he thinks there's great artistic merit in winning one of those stupid things.

BUT the best moment of the night came straight off the bat, when a rather lovely looking Madonna (who had the good sense to cover up her zombie arms) gave an honest, beautifully crafted eulogy to Michael Jackson. HERE'S THAT SPEECH RIGHT HERE. I'm man enough to admit I choked up a coupla times. 

Photo: Associated Press

Living Colour in New Port Richey Sept. 16

Living Colour |MTV Music

Man, I used to love this band. Back in 1989, New York's Living Colour -- incendiary pop-metalists led by singer Corey Glover and guitar fiend Vernon Reid -- charted with "Cult of Personality," which still sounds fresh, mammoth and molar-rattling two decades later. (Fans, and dorks like me, will tell you that 1993 album "Stain" was their masterpiece.) The players eventually split, feuded, went solo -- but now they're back, coming to New Port Richey's Bourbon Street on Sept. 16. (TICKETS) I've only seen LC once, and that was opening for the Stones in '89 in the Carrier Dome on the campus of my alma mater, Syracuse University. I should be able to swing this one. And it's gonna be LOUD.

Kristinia DeBarge is stuck in my CD player (or: Anybody wanna sell me a car?)

So I'm driving to work this morning in the rusty, trusty MAZD (leave the "A" off for savings!). The odometer says 192,000 miles, and it makes me warm inside thinking that someday soon I'll steer this 1998 champagne-colored beauty over the 200K mark. (Of course, it also makes me feel warm inside 'cause the air conditioner in the MAZD is kaput.) 

Next to me is a satchel full of new CDs. That's the drill, every day, to and from work -- keep popping new albums into the player until I find a good one. First up this morning: a promo copy of teeny-popper Kristinia DeBarge's Exposed album, featuring hit single Goodbye. Kristinia is the 19-year-old daughter of James DeBarge, the '80s king responsible for Who's Holding Donna Now. I'm not expecting greatness.

I figure I'll have Kristinia in the stereo for a few harmless minutes, then I'll put in something much more masculine, like, well, just about anything. I slide the disc into the player and... kragagkragazzzt! It makes a horrible grinding noise, a deathly gurgle -- which, to be honest, is probably preferable to anything on Exposed. But alas, something has gone mechanically wrong. I try to eject Kristinia...nothing. Eject! Eject! Eject! You've got to be kidding me. Pause. Take a big breath. EJECT! EJECT! EJECT!

Now I'm sweating profusely (damn you, air conditioning) and banging on the car stereo (damn you, MAZD!). I'm swerving all over the road, punching the dashboard, the console, the steering wheel. Why does God hate me so much?! 

I'm also realizing that someone will have to fix this, and that someone will be pulling Kristinia DeBarge out of my CD player, and that someone will laugh at me and poke me with sticks. Why couldn't I have been listening to Dylan or Motley Crue? Hell, I'd take Helen Reddy at this point. But Kristinia DeBarge? That's like getting a porn tape stuck in your VCR -- or, um, so I heard from, like, this guy once.

The love I felt for the MAZD has been replaced with a steady, sweaty mantra: IneedanewcarIneedanewcarIneedanewcar. Who cares about 200,000 miles! I have a DeBarge problem.

I finally give up, wipe a tsumami of sweat off my brow and turn on the radio. But there's nothing but static. That's when I remember the radio antenna snapped off a few weeks ago. The MAZD is dead. Long live the MAZD.