Rihanna's new album 'Rated R' for revenge

 

"These are tricky days for hip-hop queen Rihanna. At the same time she's working the talk-show circus, poignantly revealing the human complexities of domestic abuse, she's pushing a sexed-out album that often plays like a delicious, albeit shocking, revenge fantasy. She calls it Rated R, presumably because NC-17 just didn't have that same snap. Do as she says, boys and girls, not as she sings..." READ THE REVIEW OF 'RATED R,' OUT NOV. 23

Shakira: New album 'She Wolf,' new song with Lil Wayne 'Give It Up to Me'

Shakira
Album: She Wolf (Epic)
In stores: Monday
Her hips don’t lie...too bad they don’t sing, either: Colombia’s 32-year-old Shakira does one thing very, very well — and it’s not holding a tune. Or writing a song. Or buying a shirt that fits. Shakira Isabel Mebarak Ripoll has a superheroic ability to move ’n’ groove her hips not seen since Jessica Rabbit caused a three-car pileup in Toontown. On her new album, the boom-chica-boom beats and generic synths seemingly lifted from a 1979 episode of Dance Fever are there simply to inspire her hip bones. As for inspiration for the rest of us? Not so much. Shakira is a sexy performer, and an earnest one, too. But she sings as if she has a bottle of syrup lodged in her throat, and her mystic-hottie lyricism is neither shocking nor original enough to make an impact. The title track aims to be both a feminist growl and a promise for a hot night of lycanthropy. Unfortunately, it sounds like a dated Elvira spoof. Dance-floor burners Did It Again, Why Wait and Give It Up to Me (feat. Lil Wayne) are pretty generic, too, but hey, at least they’ll get people sweating. And maybe that’s all you really crave from a Shakira album anyway?
Reminds us of: The album’s best track is also its oddest: Spy, a duet with old Hips Don't Lie buddy Wyclef, is all about the kinky joys of voyeurism. Its hook is presumably Shakira or someone making a trumpet noise. Weird, but cool.
Download these: Why Wait, Men in This Town and Spy
Grade: C+

REVIEW: Norah Jones' new album 'The Fall'

 

Norah Jones
Album: The Fall (Blue Note)
In stores: Tuesday
When Norah gets blue: The buzz leading up to Jones’ fourth album was juicy, giddy. The lithe alt-jazz daughter of Ravi Shankar had split with bassist boyfriend Lee Alexander, thus setting up a breakup disc. Guitars and Wurlitzers, rock and rage would replace the 30-year-old’s usual midnight hush and Yankee Candle ruminations. I’ve always liked Jones’ music — when I was awake. So I was ready for the nine-time Grammy winner to rock a little. And the new stuff does — a little. Most of the 13 tracks are definitely louder (especially the retro roadhouse stomp of It’s Gonna Be) and the lyrics jab with newfound fangs (“Your chocolate eyes / Like buttons of lies / You’ve ruined me now”). But no matter the noisier arrangements or the clever diary-entry digs, Jones too often sings as if she’s in an opium haze, a stung woman on her fainting couch. Oh, it’s sexy as heck, don’t get me wrong. But you still wish Jones would snap out of her comfort zone more often and unleash the what-for. I’m not looking for a constant punk holler, but something beyond her smoky mid range would certainly get her ex’s attention — and mine.
Reminds us of: One of my favorite all-time duets is Norah Jones and Ray Charles on the May-December smolder of Here We Go Again. It’s a 3:52 story of relationship too toxic to resist.
Download these: It’s Gonna Be, Waiting and Chasing Pirates
Grade: B

Get your Weezer Snuggie (or 'Wuggie') now!

 

Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo is a total whackjob, but man, is he one funny dude. To help promote badass new album Raditude, the power-pop band is selling "Wuggies." Yep, Snuggies -- the blanket with sleeves (one of which, maroon if you must know, is collecting dust in my closet) -- now come with the Weezer logo across the chest. They even made a commercial for them, and word is that the (barely) straight-faced spot has been running on the NHL Network. You can WATCH THE COMMERCIAL HERE. Then you can ORDER YOUR WUGGIE HERE. My favorite part of the ad? The tattooed arm showing off the variety of colors.

Carrie Underpants! Underwood gets leggy on CMAs with grindy 'Cowboy Casanova'

This is about as suggestive as Carrie Underwood gets. She could have used more of that hip swivel on her ho-hum new album.

Questions for David Cook?

 

American Idol champ David Cook is coming to St. Pete's illustrious Mahaffey Theater on Nov. 27. (TICKETS) I'll be there with a swollen post-Thanksgiving belly, trying to make pretty word magic. But before all that, I get to chat with Cook this Thursday. I've already been berated by coworkers hoping to get close to the 26-year-old singer, who is admittedly one cool dude under pressure. If you're also a fan, let's hear it:

QUESTIONS FOR DAVID COOK?
 

'Fearless' picks for tonight's CMA Awards

 

If Taylor Swift doesn't win Entertainer of the Year at tonight's CMAs (ABC, 8 p.m.), I'll streak the Dallas Bull. AVERT YOUR EYES!

DALY TV: Talkin' Adam Lambert, Carrie Underwood, Weezer...and sippy cups?

Wow, you are about to witness some really BAD hair. We're talking Andrew "Squiggy" Squiggman action, my friends. Rest assured I rocked SupaCuts this weekend, and no longer have such an atrocious mop. But alas, before the shearing, I taped not one, but two rollicking segments with ABC music savant John Thomas. The bit you're about to see deals with November's new pop music releases. There's also a riotous Christmas seggie lurking out there as well. You want a fun drinking game? Every time I blurt a non sequitur (for instance: "sippy cups"), hoist a beverage. At the very least, it'll make for interesting television. YOU BE THE JUDGE!!!

REVIEW: Carrie Underwood's new album 'Play On' gets a C+...for now

 

Carrie Underwood and I have a complicated relationship.

READ ABOUT OUR TWISTED LOVE.

REVIEW: 'Glee' soundtrack is B- at best (oh, and I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight)

 

Album: Glee: The Music: Season One Vol. I (Columbia)
In stores: Now
Chorus lines: I’m not allowed to criticize Glee in my house. If I utter one churlish thing about Fox’s geek-chorus dramedy — for instance, its delicate balance of surreality and reality will be impossible to maintain (plus that phantom pregnancy plot line is lame) — I’m immediately banished somewhere dark, cold and without cable. But hey, this is my column, so just try and stop me. This new soundtrack compiles 17 of the show’s reimagined pop hits. (A second volume will be released in December.) Without the visuals, the music isn’t nearly as fun. And although Lea Michele (who plays overachiever Rachel) can sing for sure, Cory Monteith (Finn) is even more digitally pitch-tuned than you thought. (Can’t Fight This Feeling — yikes.) Too many songs (No Air, for instance) are presented without any Glee-ifying; that’s called karaoke, folks. But when he’s inspired, producer-arranger Adam Anders, who cut his teeth on the High School Musical franchise, blends amateur-hour enthusiasm and drama-club exuberance to delirious effect. The sunbursting vocals on Journey’s Don’t Stop Believin’ have helped that cover version sell more than 500,000 copies. A downright religious reworking of Queen’s Somebody to Love is even better. And bad-boy Puck’s Sweet Caroline and teacher Will’s Gold Digger have sweet, nerdly appeal.
Reminds us of: After a two-week layoff, Glee is back on Wednesday. I hope my family lets me watch. I’ll be good...for the most part.
Download these: Don’t Stop Believin’, Somebody to Love, Sweet Caroline
Grade: B-