Goths, kink and a girlie show

For some reason, the Sunshine State sure has a lot of dark people around. This weekend seems to be a culmination of all things dark and moody with the Convergence 14, the annual conference of Net-Goths -- folks who use the Internet to share their Goth love of fashion, music and more.

Say what you will about the Goth population but one thing they know how to do is throw a party. Convergence has so many wacky events that it's hard to choose, but here are my top three to hit up.

On Friday (8/8), Convergence is taking over the Cuban Club in Ybor for a fashion show, dance party and what they call "American Gothic Idol Scaryoke." It's hosted by Voltaire, one of the bigger musicians in the Gothic community. I'm expecting to see some outrageous outfits, though I'm guessing the performances will indeed be scary.

On Saturday afternoon, Convergence is going for utter contrast with Goths on Ice. Think people in bustle gowns and black velvet trying to pull off triple-axles at the Tampa Ice Sports Forum. Hard to resist.

Saturday night is when Convergence jumps the shark. For real. The organizer is going to dress up as the Fonz and jump a BMX over a kiddie pool inhabited by a remote-controlled shark. You gotta see the video they set up for the event. Absolute hilarity.

If Convergence isn't nearly dark enough for you, there's another event that will whet your appetite for all things black. The Cabaret De Kinque at Crowbar this Saturday is exactly what its name implies -- a kinky Cabaret with girls doing things that would make a longshoreman blush. Since this is the official pre-party for Fetishcon next week, expect to see a lot of people in latex carrying various tools of torture. Don't let that scare you. The acts won't be that nasty -- it's in a public place -- but it'll make you feel dirty.

If you want the humor without any of the dark, try the Girlie Show at Studio@620 in St. Petersburg this weekend. It was a huge hit last year, and this year is looking to top that with a circus theme. I'm sure that means someone is going to be dressed as a clown, which in my case makes this event scariest of all. Something about a white face and red nose screams pure evil to me.

American Gothic Idol Scaryoke is at the Cuban Club, 2010 Avenida República de Cuba, Ybor City, Friday at 8 p.m. One-day passes will be available at the door so you don't have to buy a $60 laminate. The pricing on the day passes is a little unclear but I think if you bring around $25 you should be okay.

Goths on Ice in the Tampa Ice Sports Forum, 10222 Elizabeth Place, Tampa, is Saturday at 2 p.m. Since it's not an official event, you don't have to worry about paying to get in. If you're wanting to get on the ice, make sure to have $3.50 to rent skates and $8 to get out on the ice.

Convergence Jumps the Shark will be at the Hyatt Regency, 211 North Tampa St., Tampa, Saturday at 6 p.m. This is another official event and day passes are available, which should be around $20. It's a little pricey but considering the shark jumping is just one part of the night's events, it's well worth it.

The Cabaret De Kinque at Crowbar,1812 N 17th St., Ybor City, is Saturday at 9 p.m. It costs $15 to get in.

The Girlie Show at Studio@620, 620 First Ave. S, St. Petersburg, is Friday and Saturday with 8 p.m. shows and a midnight show on Saturday. The tickets range $10-$25 dollars. The show continues next weekend, too.