Innovation isn't everything

As much as I like a new idea, sometimes it just doesn't work. It could be for a variety of reasons but mainly because it isn't refined. That's how I felt with Swerve at the Garage this Friday (11/28) and a Child's Rockin' Christmas at the Crowbar on Saturday (11/29). While the events were good, I just wanted and expected a little more considering they were both being held at clubs that I consider to be cream of the crop. With that said, the events were still a lot of fun and I love to see further iterations of them down the line because they'll be even better.

Jessie Swift pulling off some sweet dance moves. By sweet, I mean the same kind of sweet I'd use to describe Napoleon Dynamite dancing. Only in a more sarcastic sense. You know how middle schoolers dance when they want to look cool? They could Jessie some lessons.

Millions of times better than Jessie, Kat Meyer actually knew how to move without looking like she was having a seizure. She did get kind of model prima donna though and started to pull off the walks and turns when I pulled out my camera.

Can anyone say 80's hair metal? If you took Geddy Lee of Rush and put him as the lead singer of Ratt, you'd have My Evil Side. It wasn't the worse band I've ever heard but at the Crowbar, I expect quality and there was a definite reason these guys were the opening act for the night.

Much better. Cowboy Mafia came out strong and lasted that way for their whole set. Smooth rockabilly-infused metal makes for a good (if odd) mix. Even though the club wasn't packed, these guys played like they were at the Ford Amphitheater. If you ever get a chance to see them around town, make sure to be there. They're one of those truly unique Tampa Bay Groups that actually have some talent.

While the weekend may not have been as exciting as expected, the photos still tell the tale of a wild weekend. You can check the pics from both the Garage and Crowbar in the galleries.

A night in Soviet Russia

Amber Wilson played double agent for those smart enough to give her the code phrase.

It's hip to be Communist. Furry hats, wool fatigues and red stars are in style right now. Czar in Ybor City has latched on to that vibe and run with it for five years now but it wasn't until Wednesday night (11/26) that they put it all together for their 5-year anniversary party. This wasn't just a Russian theme going on but rather a whole redesign of what Czar is and can be starting right at getting in the door.

A patron waits patiently and salutes as she enters into the Cyberia Lounge area.

Spread through different channels including text messages and e-mail were secret code words to get in the club with discounts or free admission. "Vladimir" was the base code that got you in (They pretty much nixed the use of that one so people could get in). The phrase "The Babushka runs a spa in Chernobyl" got you in at half price while "The spa in Chernobyl is brothel, my friend" got you in for free. All this underground advertising and the promise of a free alcohol area meant the club to be filled with people less than an hour after opening.

This doesn't look any thing like me...

Of course this only got you into the Cyberia lounge area. From there, patrons would have to talk to the bartenders to retrieve their passports in order to journey over the Imperial Ballroom area. As silly as it sounds, the security (all cleverly dressed up as Russian soldiers) enforced the need for the passports and stamps much to the dismay of the few who were too drunk to go along with the gag.

DJ Sirius took a break and guarded the outside path to Imperial Theater

Taking a short journey outside and through back hallways not usually open the public, the visitors to Czar's Russian recreation would finally stumble upon the main dance area. The quest didn't end there because there was still that promise of that hidden room of free vodka. After speaking to the DJ to get your stamp to get some food (plus a free drink!), people were told to find a double agent to get papers to access the interrogation room. It's not quite as easy as it sounds though for a couple reasons:

1. Anyone on staff could be a double agent and they were constantly moving about.
2. Before you found the double agent, you needed to find out the code to tell the double agent.
3. They switched up who played the double agent throughout the night.

If this sounds intense to you, let me assure you that it was. The point was to get people talking though and it did it's job. I got so many people approaching me thinking I was the double agent simply because I had a camera around my neck.

A good interrogator always has duct tape, a flashlight and a bullwhip.

Those few wily enough to get papers were finally treated to the interrogation room and V.I.P. area. Yes, you'd actually be interrogated first. To make it even more fun, live video of the interrogation was broadcast to the Cyberia Lounge for other bar-goers to watch. The reward was worth it though, with a small private lounge complete with it's own DJ and pour-your-own drinks for free.

The raid went on the VIP and Jimmy Sellers forced Dj Sirius to take a break from mixing in the VIP room.

Of course, they couldn't have people just sitting in this room all night, so the security came by periodically and "raided" the room, kicking everyone out and ripping up their papers. This got a lot of people upset but I didn't see any of them leave Czar, but rather they went searching for the new double agent to get new papers.

I've never seen this much work go into an anniversary party for a club. Normally, its just some drink specials and some tacky decorations. Czar went all out and I've got to hand it to Sandy Heim and the workers there for putting on one of the best and unique parties that Ybor has ever seen. Czar's version of the Motherland may not have been accurate or serious, but it was entertaining and one of my most memorable experiences of going out to date.

A very electro holiday weekend

Thanksgiving can be a stressful time. Too much family and it's just the start of the Christmas season blues. Having a little time to yourself can work wonders this time of year. But now you can fuel up on leftovers and start looking forward to all the hip parties this weekend. All you need to do is be able to pull yourself off the couch after eating that massive helping of that tryptophan-filled turkey. If you do though, you won't be disappointed.

New take on Christmas lights

It's been ages since there's been a good electro party here in St. Pete so if you're a fan of bright flashing lights and computerized music, make sure to check out Swerve at the Garage on Friday (11/28). Lately, the Garage has been having parties that just get bigger and bigger all while staying immensely varied with their type of clientèle. This party looks to be no different and will have scenesters coming out of the woodwork to drink sake bombs and dance to the underground electro and trip-hop that will be playing. The party is about everything electronic including video and electronic art.

Blue threads

If you're more into "regular" art, check out the Make art, not war party going on at Art Pool on Saturday (11/29). In case you couldn't tell by the name, it's going to be a politically driven art show with a bunch of Obama art by Blue Lucy and a fashion show by Wear to the Tear, who previously did some very avant-garde work at their own vintage fashion night at the Kennedy. As always, even if you're not interested at all in Art Pool, it's a good time because of the people and the unique themes to the events. It'll also be interesting to see how they make a fashion show semi-political.

A Very Metal Christmas

With the end of Thanksgiving comes the preparation for Christmas. Crowbar is all over that with the Child's Rockin' holiday concert on Saturday (11/29). Just donate a toy or pay $8 to get in (but seriously, donate a toy and help out the kids). Some of the bands include 9th Evolution, Cowboy Mafia and Liverbaby. Admittedly, the music isn't going to inspire thoughts of goodwill and peace among all men, but who says the holidays can't have a little bit of a metal edge to them?

Techno-puppets — huh?

If you're looking for something totally eclectic this weekend, I don't think you could beat Quintron and Miss Pussycat at New World Brewery this Friday (11/28) for zaniness. Take a punk rock electro band and then add in puppets that look like they're straight out of a 70's kids tv show. Surprisingly, the music isn't bad either, which is surprising for bands like this. Just be prepared to feel disoriented and and slightly confused. If you don't believe me, check out one of their videos.

Find your own fun

If nothing intrigues and you need to get out, just check out your local hangout. It seems like every club in Tampa Bay is doing their own thing to get into the holiday spirit (and capitalize on the days off). I'm pretty sure that at least one of your favorite bars will be doing post-Thanksgiving party so there's no reason at all to miss out on the festivities and cheap booze!

The holiday spirit is already here

You might be saving up your energy for Thursday, but there's still plenty going on today in Tampa Bay. Visit entertainment.tampabay.com to search the database or check out our picks:

If the Festival of Trees doesn't get you in the spirit, nothing will. Times photo (2004)

Festival of Trees: You might want to visit this annual holiday tradition before the lines get long at the end of the week. This fundraiser festival hosts sales of Christmas trees decorated by artists as well as a gift and craft sale, kids activities and visits with Santa. Benefits UPARC Foundation. Noon-8 p.m. Harborview Center, 300 Cleveland St., Clearwater. $8, $6 seniors, $4 ages 3-16. (727) 712-3993. treefest.com.

Laugh Your Can Off: The holidays always provide an endless stream of material for comics. Tonight’s performance by Gen-X comic Roy Wood Jr. — best known for his radio work and prank phone calls — should be no different. Bring a non-perishable canned food item and receive free admission. Reservations required. 8:30 p.m. Side Splitters Comedy Club, 12938 N Dale Mabry Highway, Tampa. (813) 960-1197. sidesplitterscomedy.com.

Start the Party Early

Since you probably don’t have to get up early tomorrow, why not make the most of it and spend the night out? Some of Tampa Bay’s hottest spots are hosting special Thanksgiving parties tonight:

13 Ugly Men Get Roasted: Sure to be the hottest party in town tonight. Enjoy a complimentary drink with ticket purchase as well as Belvedere vodka specials all night. DJ Gemini will be spinning music throughout the evening. 9 p.m. Kennedy, 2408 W. Kennedy Blvd., Tampa. $10 Ladies, $15 Men. (813) 251-3329.
Get Stuffed at Hyde Park Cafe: With DJ X, Tony Faline, DJ Mondo, Mike Anthony and DJ KU. 9 p.m. 1806 W Platt St., Tampa. (813) 254-2233.

Jackson’s Thanksgiving Eve: With DJ Ravi Drums, who spins while playing the drums. There will a Top 40 DJ on the patio, too. Proceeds benefit Metropolitan Ministries. 9 p.m. Bistro Bar at Jackson’s Bistro, 601 S Harbour Island Blvd., Tampa. $10. (813) 277-0112.

Reax Pre-Thanksgiving Throwdown: With Dish, Fantome, Strangers Family Band, Tides of Man, Conscious Sound System. 18 and older show. 8 p.m. Crowbar, 1812 N 17th St., Ybor City. $7. (813) 241-8600.

Thanksgiving Eve Bash: Hosted by Rays star third-baseman Evan Longoria, right. 9 p.m. Push Ultra Lounge, 128 Third St. S, St. Petersburg. Free. Guys pay $5 after 11 p.m. (727) 895-6400.

Get Stuffed: With DJ X, Tony Faline, DJ Mondo, Mike Anthony and DJ KU. 9 p.m. Hyde Park Cafe, 1806 W Platt St., Tampa. (813) 254-2233.

Start your holiday partying today

Business Before Pleasure album release party: Two friends from Middleton High School — Physical and J. Wood — and a California recruit — J. Britt — have been turning heads as the freshest faces of Florida hip-hop after the success of two 2007 singles. Now their group, T.M.P. (Too Much Pride) is back with their first full-length album with a host of special guests. Get up close with the group at tonight’s party with autographs, photos and free copies of the album. 9 p.m. Hip Hop Soda Shop, 1241 E Fowler Ave., Tampa. $10. Bring a canned good and receive $2 off. myspace.com/tmpfanclub.

Freight Train Annie’s Girlie Show: The monthly “femme-centric show” returns tonight hosted by Tampa Bay scene stalwart (and Skipper’s beer-slinger) Freight Train Annie. It may be a girlie show, but have no doubt, these ladies can lay down a groove. This month’s show features indie solo signer/songwriter Stephanie Anderson and the funky blues of Maggie Council. 8 p.m. Skipper’s Smokehouse, 910 Skipper Road, Tampa. $7. (813) 977-6474.

Turkey Bowl III: Got Wednesday off work too? Spend tonight at MacDinton’s for the third annual Turkey Bowl. That’s right, you’re bowling with frozen turkeys for prizes. Don’t worry, after a few $4 Wild Turkeys, the whole thing will make a lot more sense. 405 Howard Ave. S, Tampa. Free.

Underoath: There always seemed to be something contradictory about Christian metal bands, but there is no doubt that Tampa’s own Underoath have earned their way to the top of the secular rock charts. Drugs, drama and dirty laundry have challenged the band and made the huge success of their sixth album, Lost in the Sound of Separation, even more unlikely. Then again, getting a song in the Madden '09 video game doesn’t hurt either. 6 p.m. Ritz Ybor, 1503 E Seventh Ave., Tampa. $24. (813) 247-2555. underoath777.com.

An era-spanning weekend

With so much going on this weekend, it was hard to choose what would be the most fun things to do. I personally decided to hit up the Mad Bash on Thursday (11/20) and the Pirate Festival and the Back in Black art show on Saturday (11/22). As long as you decided to get out this weekend, I'm sure you were able to find some fun somewhere. If not, you're just going to have to deal with living vicariously through my adventures.

Jim Morey is popping up more and more now. He was at the Mad Bash with his band Loungecat. His crooning styles are magnificent and really must be heard to be believed. Check it out on their myspace. I'll wait.

Have you ever seen those photo boards where you can be the head of massively built body builder. Well, Tosh Arciaga apparently mistook this La France dress for just that. Kind of cool but kind of creepy at the same time.

I never knew how much goes into a screen printing and I've got to hand it to the guys doing the shirts at Back in Black. They did some amazing detail all while doing each one in under 30 minutes! If you missed out, you can still buy a shirt online but it's not really the same experience of getting it hot off the press. Literally.

When you think pirates, you obviously think hula hoops. How else would they traverse the seas without the giant rings around their hips like Heidi Stephenson had? In case you can't tell, that's the obvious sarcasm being portrayed in my writing. Though it seems to be a growing fad again in Tampa Bay. Are hula hoops the new hipster thing to do and could they possibly replace bikes and beards?

Seriously, juggling. I've never heard of a pirate juggling. Joe Garramone isn't even juggling swords or cannon balls. Apparently, everything I read about pirates was wrong and they were really a jovial bunch and the predecessors of modern day clowns.

Here's what I'm talking about! Guns and lots of them. Cannons, pistols and rifles all firing across the bay at the Pier. It was loud and dangerous! In fact, I'm still kind of ringing in the ears and I'm not sure how they got away with this without tourists on the Pier going insane with fear.

Joni Nathan keeps poor old blind William Glenn company in beautiful Saturday sun. How did Will go blind you ask? Apparently it was a horrible cheese-grating accident. You've got to had it to those Renaissance Fair, I mean Pirate Festival actors for being creative with their stories.

The events this weekend were all fun and worthwhile so make sure to check out the rest of the galleries for the Mad Bash, Back in Black and the Pirate Festival (even if it was a little too lovable)

Shiver me timbers! Not out in the cold.

St. Petersburg Times photo

Cold weather got you down? Don't let it! It's supposed to warm up by this weekend and not a moment too soon. Going out partying is just like sleep because you'll never be able to make up lost time!

Walk this festival, not the plank

If you have dreams of sailing the open seas with only a parrot and a large bottle of rum for company, stop by the Florida Pirate Festival at Vinoy Park Friday (11/21) through Sunday (11/23). Even though pirates are the obvious Tampa Bay norm for festivals, it's still fun to go out with an eye-patch and hook for a hand. It's supposed to have a family friendly area but you know there will be enough saucy wenches and scurvy dogs to satisfy the adult crowds as well. So study up on your pirate lingo and don't come dressed as a ninja. I hear pirates hate those guys.

Sound familiar?

It's just a shame not many people on this side of the pond got a chance to the Beatles in concert. On Friday (11/21), Cheap Trick will be performing the Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band album in its entirety at Ruth Eckerd Hall. Given the style of their normal music, it should be interesting to hear their interpretation of it. Then on Saturday (11/22), four local bands will each play one side each of the White Album for a tribute called the White Album Recreation at Skipper's. Here's hoping Rebekah Pulley gets to do Happiness is a Warm Gun.

Drink up, help the kids

If you like alcohol but not the idea of dealing with numerous impressions of Captain Jack Sparrow then trade out the rum for some vodka and hit up the Ritz on Friday(11/21) for the Vodka Fest. Don't be showing up in blue jeans and sneakers to this one, either. This isn't a t-shirt and jeans kind of festival though, it's an upscale fundraiser with dozens of the finest spirits for sampling. It's a bit more expensive too, but proceeds benefit the Sky Ranch Foundation for troubled children. Those children need you to go and sample all that alcohol. Do you really want to let them down?

Sounds more fun in summer

Those of us who are inherently lazy (pretty much all of us), we now have an event that caters to us. It's Chillounge in Straub Park on Saturday (11/22) and all it involves is relaxing on some outdoor furniture and sipping a few cocktails. The goal is to transform the park into a giant open-air lounge. Plus there's a fashion show going with it as well as some sweet jazz music to keep your feet tapping. You'll be plenty comfortable though.

Wear that style out

Take a look in your wardrobe right now. Would you describe your clothing as hip? Didn't think so, so make sure to hit up Pale Horse Saturday (11/22) for the Back in Black T-shirt show. These aren't just normal T-shirts as each one is a limited edition style that'll be fairly unique to you. Pale Horse has become a mecca of sorts for the graphic artists in St. Petersburg so it's a great place to come and hang with hippest of the hip. Plus, each T-Shirt is only $15 you can grab some stylish threads and not empty out your bank account. No worries about them falling apart either.

A great day for furry friends - and the regular kind, too

AdBash VII: MadBash: Ad 2, Tampa’s leading group for young professional advertisers, is holding its yearly party with a twist. Paying homage to the hit show about the advertising biz, Madmen, guests are invited to dress in '60s vintage clothing. 7-11 p.m. Don Vicente Historic Inn, 1915 Republica de Cuba, Tampa. $20. (813) 241-4545.

Best Friends and Beers: You might need a sweater for sitting out on the patio, but the weather will be just right for your four-legged, furry friends at the monthly meeting for dogs and drafts. This month’s featured beer is English and Irish ales, so if you have an English Springer Spaniel or Irish Setter, your first beer is free. 5:30-11 p.m. Jackson’s Bistro, 601 S Harbour Island Blvd., Tampa. (813) 277-0112.

Lowry Park Zoo — 20th Anniversary Days: The zoo celebrates its 20th anniversary year on the 20th day of the month with a special admission price of $20 for two tickets (ages 3 and older), plus $2 specials for rides and food. While you’re there, say hello to Annakiya, the new baby pygmy hippo, who is sure to warm your heart on a frosty day. 9:30 a.m.-5 p.m. Lowry Park Zoo, 1101 W Sligh Ave., Tampa. $18.95, $17.95 seniors, $14.50 ages 3-11. (813) 935-8552.

Papa Mali: After spending his summer touring with B.B. King, now the Austin, Texas, singer-songwriter brings his soulful, funky grooves and screaming slide guitar to St. Petersburg tonight. Special guest The Codetalkers, a jazz rock outfit from Savannah, Ga. 7 p.m. Tamiami, 242 First Ave. N, St. Petersburg. $10.

The Toadies: It’s likely you only remember the Toadies from their hit '90s album Possum Kingdom, but they can still jam a unique alt-rock song with deep blues influence. 7 p.m. State Theatre, 687 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. $17. (727) 895-3045.

Kilowatt Ours: A documentary inviting viewers to discover how they can save hundreds of dollars annually on energy bills, and use a portion of the savings to purchase renewable energy. Cheaper energy? What’s not to love about that? Preview it below. 7 p.m. Centro Ybor 20, 1600 East Eighth Ave., Tampa. Free.

Creatures of the nightlife

The Tampa Bay area is hardly the perfect sunless setting for vampires. Still, with the movie Twilight hitting theaters, we haven't been this romantically obsessed with the cool creatures since Buffy the Vampire Slayer. So if the beautiful undead were walking among us, where would they go for Tampa Bay nightlife? Here are five spots — besides The Castle in Ybor City, of course.

Insomniacs Coffee Lounge: What's better for creatures of the night than a coffeeshop that's open all night? Add in cocktails and an endless cup of joe — whether you actually drink them or not — and it's perfect. Just watch out for sunrise when you walk out in the morning. It's killer. 4319 U.S. 19, New Port Richey.

Boneyard: If you're drawn to the crowds of Ybor but don't want to do the typical gothic vampire thing at The Castle, try the Boneyard. With a darker but kitchsy atmosphere, it'll get your blood lust going in a more modern-style, like Quentin Tarantino's From Dusk Till Dawn. 1823 E Seventh Ave., Ybor City.

Bar Envy: Trying to keep a low profile? In Hernando, there's this dimly lit lounge that used to be Saints & Sinners. With the too-cool atmosphere and Monday nights dedicated to industrial and EBM, it'll appeal to your dark side. 11060 Spring Hill Drive, Spring Hill.

The Kennedy: Ideal for all the glittery undead who still want to be the life of the party. The blood red atmosphere is the perfect cover for plenty of neck nuzzling. 2408 W Kennedy Blvd., Tampa.

Club Underground: With a secluded location and popular event nights, Club Underground is everything a vampire needs. Amid the midnight atmosphere and pumping bass, it's easy to escape into one of the many segmented rooms. Security is tight, though, so you might have to leave the sharp incisors at the door. 802 E Whiting St., Tampa.

It's not THAT cold. Get out there!

Toughen up a little and enjoy one of the more than 90 events going on in Tampa Bay today. Find them all at entertainment.tampabay.com.

Conor Oberst: As a certified member of the Former-Future-Bob-Dylan Club, Oberst, right, has recently shed the critical burden of Bright Eyes and is touring as a solo artist. Moody and melodramatic, his music has always had a political stance; as a staunch Obama supporter, we can only hope his music takes on a more optimistic tone now the election is over.  8 p.m. Jannus Landing, 16 Second St. N, St. Petersburg. $23.

Digital TV Roadshow: In case there is someone somewhere out there who doesn’t know his rabbit ear antenna will no longer tune in those four measly channels after Feb. 17, the government has decided to spend your tax dollars on a 20-foot truck shaped like a giant television set to spread word of the impending digital television takeover. 3-9 p.m. Wal-Mart, 8001 U.S. 19 N, Largo. Free. dtv.gov.

Peace Week: Part of a series of educational sessions regarding peace around the world, today’s activities include a 6 p.m. screening and discussion of Taxi to the Dark Side, a documentary about a taxi driver who was imprisoned and killed at Guantanamo Bay. Sessions continue through Friday. Pasco-Hernando Community College, 10230 Ridge Road, New Port Richey. Free. phcc.edu/peace.