Cute and disturbing

While hanging out at the Resident Evil 5 release at Game Stop in Parkside Mall on Thursday (3/12), there was a lot of geeky talk about what to do in a zombie apocalypse. The chiming in by Callie Muncy, the Game Stop manager's daughter, was so amazing that I had to get video of her thoughts. It's a little morbid but at least we can rest assured that she's prepared!

Check out the galleries for some photos that I took of the undead gamers
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Sequins and creamed corn

Glam is awesome. Don't try and deny it. As long as you don't take it too seriously, wearing wigs and sparkles can be some of the best fun you can have. That's what the Glamagic Shove N' Love at the Rat Soap Art Studio (think a Brooklyn style factory set up for dancing and art) was all about. Having fun in whatever way possible. Throw in drag queens, music acts and fashion shows, and you have yourself a stellar way to spend a Wednesday night. Of course, there were a fair share of surprises. Check the photos below to find out for yourself.

Can you get much cooler than this? Victorian wig, Sequined blazer and a pimp cane with a diamond on top, Ricky Diamond was flaunting some extreme style. I've never seen that much dancing at an art show but he got the people moving. Add in a quick costume change to look 80S cool (complete with neon shades!) and you have a man who knows how to put some fun into music.

Meet Sloppy Seconds. Don't know them? Give it a little while and you just might. This new group has got some style that has to heard to be believed. Think hip-hop mixed with rap and then throw in a whole bunch of sexual content just to be safe. The way they describe themselves is electro-sexual. It's nifty and and they kind of remind me of Electrocute. If you like your hip-hop nasty and dirty, keep an eye out for this duo.

I'm not sure how I feel about Nicky Click. If you listen to her music on-line, it sounds alright. In person, she's all over the place. Literally. Falling on the ground and climbing all over stuff. It makes the show very erratic and interesting to say the least. She did fit right in with the crowd at Rat Soap though. I'd say she's a unique Florida oddity but she's from New Hampshire. I'm not used to seeing this type of oddity outside of Florida!

What event is complete without wrestling? Seriously though, that's creamed corn. I felt absolutely disgusted but I couldn't keep from laughing. It was like watching a real-life Jackass episode. It's vomit-inducing, it's stupid but you can't keep from watching and cracking up.

Overall, I'm definitely going to keep a look at Rat Soap Art Studio from now on to see what they do. If they did all this on a Wednesday, I want to see what they'd pull off on a Friday! Make sure to check out the rest of the glamtastic pics!

 

Top 10 drunken ramblings

Ah, the wonders of alcohol. When you drink it, you think you're the smartest person alive. But have you ever tried writing down what you say when you're drunk? Try it next time you have that epiphany while intoxicated. How embarrassing. As it's my job to listen to drunken ramblings on a consistent basis, I thought I'd share a few of my favorite (and confusing) things I've heard. Just slur a little when saying these and it'll be like you were there!

1. It's okay. I'm drunk. That really doesn't make me feel any better. Regardless of the situation.
2. My mom can beat up your mom. This is scientifically the stupidest phrase in existence. It's true!
3. You know what's wrong with Florida? It's not New York. Technically, they're right.
4. I'm going to cut my hair tonight. I imagine drunk hair cuts are what led to the stylish hair of Flock of Seagulls.
5. Objection! I don't know how this caught on but I hear it more often lately. It's a good way to get your voice heard, though (in a loud, obnoxious way).
6. When people do accents. While not really a phrase, it's hilarious to hear someone start talking in an Irish accent mid-phrase.
7. I feel like going for a jog. Oh yes, running while drunk. That's not a bad idea at all.
8. I'm going to ride my bike tonight. See above and add in road rash.
9. I can do the knife trick from Aliens. Warning: If anyone around says this when drunk, Take away their liquor and sharp objects or drinks won't be the only thing cut off for the night.
10. Texting during the conversation. Why do we need to text people 5 feet away from us? For some reason, the urge to do it is greater when intoxicated.

So what's the weirdest thing you've heard a drunk person say?

Candy cane clubbing

It's finally here. It doesn't matter whether you got a new iPhone or another pair of singing socks, Christmas being over is an excuse to party it up like a rockstar. Put that Christmas money you got from your aunts and uncles to good use and buy a couple drinks. You deserve to unwind a bit.

While nearly every club in Ybor is going to be open on Christmas night, Czar is looking to have the standout event with Merry Cursemas! With phenomenal local Tampa-based DJs spinning throughout the night, this one looks like the event to go to if you're interested in doing some festive clubbing around Ybor for the night. If you're not looking for much of the festivities, the Castle is also going to be doing their normal Thursday Pop and Wave night. I've got it on good authority that it will packed more than usual and candy cane styled shots will be available.

If you want to stay on the Pinellas side of things for your post-Xmas partying, you might think about hitting up the Winter Wonderland over at the Venue. Playing it up like Santa needs a little unwinding after his trip around the world, this one looks to shape up as the happening place to be. While not my favorite of environments to get my drink on, the Venue has steadily improved in the past couple months and this party sounds like it should appeal to most everyone. If you'd like to keep it a little more down and dirty, check out the Bishop's Bad Santa Party. Just make sure to bring your Santa hat with you. It'll get you a free shot and considering you can get them at Wal-Mart for a buck if you don't already have one, it's well worth it.

Of course, if you're feeling daring and you've got nothing better to do, start early on Christmas eve with Pornaoke at the Pegasus. Have no idea if they'll be any sort of crazy theme other than the usual dirtiness on a projected screen but if you don't care if Santa catches you being really naughty, it'll be good way to let off some of that pre-Christmas steam.

No blinking Rudolphs but bad sweaters none the less

Everyone has gotten at least one ugly sweater for the holidays. The one that is so indescribably tacky that you put it on once to show your grandma that you really like it but took it off and buried it and salted the earth five minutes later. What better way to capitalize upon these instruments of bad fashion then to hold parties featuring them? That's what the Bishop and Push thought to do. While there weren't as many sweaters as we would have liked at either event, there were a few that deserved mention and photographic documentation.

DJ Fresh, DJ T-Quest and Brian Kelly all struck up a pose as they showed off their fuzziness. In case you're wondering, Fresh is wearing a 12 days of Christmas sweater that is all sorts of horrid.

I can haz bad sweater? Sorry, the puppies and kittens on the sweaters that Christina Rizleris and Vanessa Martinez are wearing make me instantly think of Lolcats. I just need to get a Ceiling Cat sweater and I'll be all set.

In my opinion, Michelle McCaw wins for the ugliest sweater, ladies division. It's not just the fact that the sweater vest is absolutely atrocious, it's that it all matches. All the way down to her Chucks! That takes dedication!

Michelle may be the winner for the females but she has nothing on Joshua Reed. Together with Trevor Bennett and John Brown he set a new standard for creepy sweaters. The fact that he's physically fit only adds to the hilarity of seeing him in a midriff-baring sweater top. The earrings are just icing on the cake!

Of course, that's not all of them. Make sure to check out the rest of the laughably bad sweaters!

Tying the knot - in more ways than one!

It's one thing to have a convention dedicated to the BDSM alternative lifestyle in Tampa, but I hear there's going to be a wedding there as well. Details are slim, but I know it's going on at Fetish Con on Sunday.

I can't help but wonder what it could possibly be like...

1. What are the vows going to be like? Maybe the man says the usual lines of serving in tenderness and respect and then the woman vows to "beat you and send you to the corner in your cage if you've been naughty."
2. Is everyone going to be in skintight black material? Maybe the bride will wear latex and the groom will be in leather?
3. For that matter, what is the bouquet going to be like? The only thing I can imagine is roses. With lots of thorns. I can't imagine there would be a clamor to catch those.
4. Will the traditional wedding march be played? I'm hoping the bride walks down the aisle to some Lords of Acid.
5. I don't even want to think about what the ring bearer and flower girls are going to look like. The mere thought of that chills me to the bone!

Check back here late Sunday or Monday, when I'll have full coverage of what is sure to be the kinkiest wedding of the year.

[iStockphoto.com]

Memoirs of an Otaku

Metrocon 2008 had some great sights to behold and some things that will remain scarred in my memory for the rest of my life. Here are a few of my favorite people I saw as well as some of the most frightening.

If you played either the Phoenix Wright or Apollo Justice games, you know what Brett Gear and Juan Fernandez were trying to get across. The only problem was trying to talk to them without having the urge to yell "Overruled!"

The Princess Mononoke costume that Kirsten Krueger and Kristina Smithman put together was impressive. Kristina looked frighteningly realistic running around as a wolf. Considering she was carrying around Kirsten for a good while though, I really hope that she had a heating pad in her hotel room for her back.

Selling kisses at a dollar a piece?!? Considering the quality of guys at the convention though, Christina Nash probably paid for a semester's worth of college in one day. On a side note: She is 18 surprisingly. I literally checked her ID.

If Mad Max was a doctor instead of a no-holds-barred apocalyptic cop and he wanted to go to a rave, I think he'd show up dressed up like Brett Jamesen.

I admit that I'm a geek. Seeing Patricia Banbuskirk and Adrien Demoret having a light saber duel in the middle of the rave brought back fond memories of when I could say I liked Star Wars and not have to worry about being dateless for the next ten years. In fact, It almost made me take back what I said about glow sticks being uber-lame, but then I saw this...

What's worse than a group of furries dancing? A group of furries rave dancing with glow sticks. Seeing Jynell "Spirit" Wolf, Antony "CB Roo" Urzi and Tim "Valeria" Vige jumping around dancing with their lights will go down as one of the most frighteningly funny things I've seen in Tampa Bay. I even got unintentionally (at least I hope it was!) nuzzled by Jynell's snout while I was getting their information.

If you want to see some more of the crazy photos from Metrocon (including some involving a lot of fire!), check here. Tonight, I'll hopefully drink away the memory of being hugged by a living stuffed animal.

At least he wasn't singing Avril Lavigne

I see people singing and dancing when they're drunk all the time. But if you're going to sing at the top of your lungs while blotto, here's a tip: Pick the right song.

I was recently over at the Pegasus Lounge in Tampa on a Thursday (so this wasn't the famous pornaoke night that they host) when a short white guy got up out of his chair and decided to serenade all of us at the bar with Ol' Man River.

First I'm thinking: When did Paul Robeson become popular with the Pegasus crowd?

Then I started to marvel at the singer. He knew all the words (community theater alum? secret Broadway fanatic?) and was singing it in a deep bass voice.

But I quickly snapped out of my reverie and thoughts of the deep South on a slow showboat down the Mississippi and had a last bit of So Tampa Bay advice I'd like to throw his way: Choose a better song next time, Paulie.  Or hit the gay-friendly Haymarket Pub in St. Pete, where they love that kind of absurd theater.

These aren't Snow White's dwarfs

There are somethings you just don't forget. Your first kiss, your first day of high school and your first time that you saw a dwarf in a thong dance for dollars. I think that unless I go senile, I'll remember the midget Chippendales at the James Joyce event  Wednesday night for the rest of my life.

I did learn a few things, though, like that using the term midget is kind of offensive. It's more proper to say dwarf or mini. I also learned not to underestimate the power that 4-foot muscular man could hold over a drunk 20-something.

The women were absolutely crazy over these guys. It was seriously like the women were at a real Chippendales event rather than a parody. To their credit, the dwarfs were ripped. To my dismay, the flier for the event had lied and there was no tubby dwarf, but just 5 built minis who could easily kick my butt without even breaking a sweat. Apparently, a muscular man is a muscular man to some women, no matter how tall they are.

I'm not exaggerating when I say the women were out of control. I saw acts performed there that will be burned into my retinas for the rest of my life. And while it was all technically clean, the women definitely had a fun time pushing the limits of public decency (especially one women who got on stage with one of the dancers and performed a clothed horizontal dance; soooo Tampa Bay, really).

Given how much attention the little guys were getting, I'm considering cutting my shins out and getting buff if that's what it takes for some women to get revved up for me.

Midgets. In Ybor. Again. Ho-hum.

What is it with the James Joyce Pub and tiny people? First, they host the dwarf cage fighting events (Here's some footage of the championship)and now it's midget Chippendales. They apparently missed out on booking Mini-Kiss, who appeared at Jackson's recently.

Seriously, this is one of those weird, underground events that is going to bring so many different types of people out of the woodwork. I've already heard a couple of my bartender pals talking about going. (We'll see if they show up, though.)

I'm a little (ha!)  weirded out by tiny male dancers putting on a show at the James Joyce for two reasons. One, the upstairs pub is my parents' favorite bar in Ybor, and that makes me a little (ha again!) concerned about them and their habits when I'm not around. And two, I'm worried about the people who are legitimately excited about seeing the tiny Chips.

Check back tomorrow for a full review of the event, including the answer to the burning question in my head: How are they going to do lap dances?

The fun starts at 8 tonight (6/18) when the doors open, and the show starts at 10. The cost to get in is $8 at the door. The pub is located at 1704 1/2 E Seventh Ave.