We've moved!

"Standing By" is now being published on the website of the Manhattan Mercury newspaper in Kansas, thanks to the author's move to Ft. Riley. Click here to read the blog and join the conversation.

A new chapter

I haven't talked to you guys for three days.

I've never gone that long without posting before, except when Mark came home last winter and we went on vacation for two weeks.

I just haven't been able to bring myself to write anything.

You see, today is the last day of Standing By here on tampabay.com.

It's two years to the day since my first post here. Two years to the day since I invited you all into my life, and you returned the favor.

I never, ever expected the huge outpouring of support and comfort. I never expected that we'd become friends. Good friends.

But we have. And now it feels like we're saying goodbye.

The blog will continue on a new site after a brief hiatus while we finish our move to Kansas. I hope to be up and running again by Dec. 1. Check janwesner.com for updates.

In the meantime, take some time to scroll through the archives. Read your favorite posts again. Think about that year that Mark was gone and all we went through and all that we've shared.

Change is perhaps one of the most enduring traits of military life. It happens almost like clockwork, yet it often takes us by surprise.

I've changed a lot in the past two years. I've become more aware of my own needs, of the needs of my marriage, of the need to live life the best you can every single day.

I've become more open to new friendships and to taking more risks.

And most of that is because of you.

Thank you, my friends.

Thank you.

Another reason I'll never be Mom of the Year

Whenever Mark leaves my brain seems to go with him. I forget everything - appointments, work assignments, due dates for kids' projects.

I had one of my worst moments last week. Almost as bad as the time I nearly missed Easter.

Jace had two teeth pulled Thursday at the dentist's office. We came home and he put them under his pillow.

The next morning I woke him up for school and the first thing he did was lift the pillow. What did he see? His two teeth.

The tooth fairy forgot.

I swear I wasn't drinking or anything. I was just tired and stressed and wanted to do nothing that night besides lay on the floor and watch TV.

So that's what I did.

Meanwhile, Jace was dreaming of the riches he'd get for his two baby teeth.

Thinking as quickly as I could in the morning, I wrote a note and stuck it and the money under Rian's pillow. I called Jace into the room and pointed it out.

The note said the tooth fair had left the money under his sister's pillow because he was still awake. And it said he could keep his teeth, the tooth fairy has plenty.

I made it all out to be Jace's fault.

"You sure got lucky on that one, buddy," I told him in my best stern-Mom voice.

He'll figure it out when he's older. But I don't think he'll mind. After all, the guilt-ridden Tooth Fairy left him $10.

Sunday Live Chat

Babygirl and mauimere - our chatters extraordinaire - have requested we continue our Sunday night live chats. So, here we are.

Let us know if you stop by. Just post your comments below and don't forget to hit the refresh to see the newest ones!

Yes, Daddy's gone again

Mark left for Kansas a week ago today.

This is the longest we've been apart since he got home from Iraq in January.

I told him before he left last week that I was having flashbacks. He said he had to keep reminding himself we were only going to be apart for three weeks, not 15 months.

The kids also expressed their sadness and, I think, fear at Daddy being gone. Jace, 7, showed his emotions the same way he always does, by getting frustrated or mad over little things that would normally not bother him.

Rian, my much more demonstrative 4-year-old, just came right out with it: Every day since Mark left she has cried for him. When she falls down and skins her knee it's "I want Da-Da!" When she's tired it's "I want Da-Da!" And when she gets in trouble it's "I want Da-Da!"

When Jace was her age he was so used to Daddy being gone that it had little impact. But the nine months since Mark's been back from Iraq is the longest he's ever been home.

Rian rarely seemed to notice when Mark was in Iraq. Every once in awhile she cried for him, or she made up fantastic stories about how he had flown to the moon or dressed up in a Cinderella costume.

Now she's a little older and much more aware. And I can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

I'll be here tonight at 9:45 to chat with mauimere, babygirl and anyone else who'd like to stop by - you're all invited. We don't have "Army Wives" to distract us tonight, so we'll just have some good old fashioned girl time!

Holy crap, I'm unemployed

Some of the songs from last night's playlist, as I lamented my last day at work:

"Dirty Laundry," Don Henley: Can we film the operation? Is the head dead yet? You know, the boys in the newsroom got a running bet. Get the widow on the set! We need dirty laundry.

"Freebird," Lynyrd Skynyrd: If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me? For I must be travelling on, now, cause theres too many places Ive got to see.

"I'm a Cowboy," Bon Jovi: I walk these streets, a loaded six string on my back. I play for keeps, 'cause I might not make it back. I been everywhere, and I'm standing tall. I've seen a million faces and I've rocked them all.

"Jose Cuervo," Shelly West: Jose Cuervo you are a friend of mine.
I like to drink you with
a little salt and lime.

"Don't Ask Me No Questions," Lynyrd Skynyrd: So, don't ask me no questions and I won't tell you no lies. So, don't ask me about my business and I won't tell you goodbye.

"A Pirate Looks at 45," Jimmy Buffett: Yes, I am a pirate two hundred years too late.
The cannons don't thunder, there's nothin' to plunder,
I'm an over forty victim of fate, arriving too late, arriving too late.

"Working Man," Rush: I get up at seven, yeah, and I go to work at nine. I got no time for livin', yes, I'm workin' all the time.

"Ramblin' Man," Allman Brothers: Lord, I was born a ramblin' man, tryin' to make a livin' and doin' the best I can. And when it's time for leavin', I hope you'll understand, that I was born a ramblin' man.

More goodbyes ...

Today was a rough one. It was my last day of work at the St. Petersburg Times, the newspaper where I wanted to work since I was 12 years old.

Now, at the age of 40, I find myself walking away from a place revered in journalism circles as one of the best newspapers in the country.

Granted, my job here wasn't very glamorous - I did everything from compiling religion briefs to writing front-page stories - but it was the St. Pete Times. That was enough.

I left the office today without a word. I sent an electronic message to my co-workers saying I had to leave before I got too emotional. I will miss seeing them every day and sharing in their ups and downs, both personal and professional.

They're having a party for me tomorrow night, and that's probably where the goodbyes will take place. Luckily there will be tequila, too.

The party's over, at least for me

My neighborhood is tight.

Fellow Times blogger Sean Daly wrote recently about "the party block" where he lives. He described it as a place where someone's always offering you a cold beer or cranking up the grill for a spontaneous cook out while the kids run free.

A party block, Sean says, "is the very essence of community, Norman Rockwell painted on the side of a pony keg."

Exactly.

My neighborhood is just like that. Only better.

Sure we hang out in the cul-de-sac and drink together and have parties for every holiday. We also go out to eat and on weekend getaways together.

We cry together. We celebrate each other's victories, mourn each other's losses and help raise each other's kids.

I like to think that I played a role in creating this atmosphere. My house is often the center of activity, and that was especially true when Mark was gone.

I like to think that, without me, it won't be the same.

But I know that's not true.

The party block was here long before me and, hopefully, it will be here long after I'm gone.

Maybe we'll move back after Kansas. Maybe we won't.

Either way, I know things will be different.

Life will go on here, without me and without my kids.

That's a hard thing to accept.

The morning after

I stayed up until almost 2 a.m., drinking beer, eating Halloween candy and watching the election results with friends.

No matter what side you were on, last night was obviously a historic moment for our country. It was amazing to see the crowds of people who voted, to see people step up and take a stand for one candidate or the other or for a particular issue. It was incredible to see people participating and, whether they realized it or not, supporting their country.

Our country.

I don't know what's in store for the next four years. I think the next president will be like a rebound boyfriend - he inherits all the baggage of a bad 8-year relationship.

We will look to him to restore our hope and show us how to move on. 

We will look to him to mend our broken hearts.

We will look to him to make us feel like maybe, someday, everything will be OK again.

That's a lot of expectation. But no matter how it turns out, for today at  least, and thanks to both candidates, we can be proud of ourselves.

I know I am.

Did you serve your country today?

I voted.

Did you?