Thursday column: We don't need no stinkin' higher ed

We had a staff meeting today (I played hooky) that emphasized getting stuff on the web as fast as possible. In that spirit, and since we talked about this topic earlier today, I figured I'd post a draft of tomorrow's print column. This is the untouched-by-editors version so you can see whether there are any changes in the final product. The eds usually give me a nip and tuck here and there and save me from embarrassing flubs, so I am workin' without a net here... good thing I am not calling the state Senate president a banjo-pickin' rube or anything. No, wait! I AM....

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If they’re unhappy, maybe they should turn over the reins to someone else.
-- Gov. Charlie Crist, on the state’s university presidents

Here’s my proposal for an amendment to the Florida Constitution:

Let’s tie the budget for college sports in Florida to the state’s rank in money spent on, you know, actual college education.

“We’re Dead Last, And We’re Proud!” the Gator cheerleaders could chant then.

“We’re happy with our 1-10 record,” Coach Bowden at FSU could say, “because at least, dadgummit, we cost less than Mississippi.’’

Well? That’s exactly what we’re saying about academics.

Florida’s state universities are in trouble, folks...

They are in a bind. They need you to know it. They need the governor to know it. They need the Legislature to know it.

They cannot give the sons and daughters of Florida  the education they deserve. They cannot even admit enough.

They do not have enough teachers to teach them — we have the worst ratio of students to faculty in the nation. Yaaaaaaaay Florida!

Florida ranks last in tuition support among the states. It ranks near the bottom in tax dollars spent. It ranks 46th in the production of bachelor’s degrees. Some of our schools are laying off because of budget cuts. Admissions are frozen or reduced. Talented professors are starting to leave.

Here is the answer of Florida’s politicians to all this:

Yeeeeeeeeh-hah! Book learnin’ is overrated, y’all.

The governor, a product of Florida State University, was asked about the complaints of the university presidents by my colleagues at the Buzz, our political blog.

After suggesting that the presidents should quit, the always cheerful governor added that, after all, “Things are pretty good in Florida. We have it pretty darn good here.’’

There ya go! Just keep saying, “pretty darn good,” close your eyes and click your heels.

Meanwhile, the president of the state Senate, Ken Pruitt, has developed a weird obsession with keeping the universities in a condition that is the educational equivalent of barefoot and pregnant.

Pruitt’s concern is not about quality, but about sheer political power, and which body — the Legislature, or the state Board of Governors — will control tuition.

Pruitt now even wants to amend the state Constitution. He wants to re-create the elected position of state education commissioner (which the voters abolished a decade ago), and return unquestioned power over tuition to the Legislature.

In the first place, these are two wildly different issues that should not be crammed into the same amendment.

In the second place, the voters already settled this in 2002, when they approved the Board of Governors to run the university system.

This is the future of Florida at stake, y’all. I do not mean to set K-12 education against higher ed, but while K-12 has gotten an awful lot of attention, we have been complacent about the universities.

But if this state is going to be anything other than a fast-food restaurant, than of tourist attractions and condos and low-paying service jobs, this is the only way out.

If the governor is too busy running for vice president to care, and the Senate president is busy pluckin’ his banjo, then is there anyone who will step up? Marco? Are you there? Alex? Anybody?

Comments

I have a relative who graduated high school two years ago with above a 5.0 (yes, that is possible now) from a local magnet school with a specialized program for high performing kids. U of F told him he could only come if he started in the summer immediately after his high school graduation. He opted to go out of state to one of the three private school with an international reputation that offered him better scholarships than Florida and let him stay home and work the Summer before college.

We've leaned-out the college budgets so severely that even nationally top students are treated like they'll be getting a favor to get in our public universities. Exclusivity created by the necessities of underfunding isn't really climbing up the academic heap.

Gator Nation--and I'm an alumni, ain't what it should be. Sports isn't what it should all be about.

There isn't a snowball's chance in the Gator Nation that my young talented relative will come back to Florida to add value to his home state. As he tells it, nearly the first time the state dealt with him as an adult--in his college admission process, the state prove itself backward even irrational. He asks, "Why would I subject my kids to all that?"

I think he's a bit ungrateful because he did get a good elementary and secondary education, but he dismisses that as luck: A system as dumb as ours can't reliably sustain quality at any level until rational behavior broadly takes hold.

We ought to think it through, so we can have some of the better contributors in the next generation settle here to enhance the state's future.

Wait a second! An orange moon! Thursday's news on Wednesday! Aren't these signs from the Book of Revelations?

[Aquaserpent]

Went we moved down here from Illinois, I was in the 9th grade and had all the education I needed to graduate high school. I could not believe how far behind Florida was, it was like going back to elementary school. The sad part about our current condition my experience was in 1969, imagine how far we have come.

[Jim Johnson]

Howard, of course, has a dog in the fight. He's a student.

Many people shouldnt be occupying space in a college, and many programs need to be tossed because they have no utility. If the state needs more teachers, beef up the teacher schools. Ditto for MDs and the others. If we have a surplus of poets and dancers, pare those programs.

The Legislature needs to weed out the marginal place-holders and prioritize the programs state colleges offer.

[Jim Johnson]

6:49

What a myth. My ancestors came from Illinois, and Illinois has nuthin on Florida or the South in terms of the Clampetts and Kadiddlehoppers. Illinois is filled with rubes.

[Doug]

Howard:

I don't think the Governor is a product of FSU Law (though I did have the pleasure of attending law school in Tallahassee). I believe he was an undergrad. at FSU and attended Cumberland (sic?) for law school.

[Doug]

Howard:

I just checked the Governor's website re: his education and confirmed that my previous post was correct. He attended FSU for undergrad. and Cumberland for law school.

5:28 - you are an alumnus

[Howard Troxler]

Doug, Howard here -- thank you for pointing it out. My error and I will run a correction in the print edition and on the blog -- I know that the gov started out at Wake Forest, which made it easier for me to put him in postgrad at FSU -- thanks again!

[Bland]

To all the intelligent readers out there.

Does anyone out there no of one time in the history of the world that a member of academia or government said they had enough money?

Next, just how much will make all right in the world?

If you gave the University Presidents the existing entire state budget it would still not be enough.

or an alumna

[Mike C.]

Rarely am I surprised any more, but things happen in Florida that continue to capture my attention. The latest is the lack of public outcry when it was announced that admissions for the public universities would be limited. The 2 most telling areas concerning the level of civilization of a society are (1)how that society treats its elderly and (2)how it educates its children. The future of this or any state or nation is tied closely to how well it does in these areas.

[Gary]

Let me play devils advocate

I just saw a piece on students in Denmark.(I think on 60 Minutes) They get free tuition all the way through college. They even get paid to go to school. So, I did a search for Denmark tax rates.
I guess the problem is once they graduate they move to other countries because the income tax rate reaches 63% for those who earn equivalent to $70,000 per year. If you think the schools should get more money may I suggest you send them your money and stop asking everyone else to pay for your kids education
Be careful what you wish for.

Hope you are equally cavalier when you lose your fire and police coverage.

You'll need them because uneducated young people can't get jobs with pay enough to support themselves.

Frustration and desperation creates thieves and radicals. Good luck with that portable unfair tax vote Charlie loves.

Maybe the kid cooking your food will have already gotten far enough in school to know about germs. Or maybe not.