About those burglars...

I've been interested in the comments to my Thursday column about being tricked and burglarized the other night. Remember that here's the sequence of events:

(1) I'm working on my laptop on my back, screened-in patio at midnight when the doorbell rings. (2) I am suspicious and wary of the guy at the front door. He asks for directions, I give them, he leaves. This takes a few seconds. (3) During those few seconds, the second guy enters the patio and rips off my laptop and runs. I never see him.

Now, in response to all the folks talking about how they would have brought a gun to the door and shot somebody, that is all well and good. I am all in favor of shooting home invaders. I am of the opinion that breaking into an occupied house at night pretty much makes one's own life forfeit.

In this case, it seems a little hasty to start shooting through the front door until I know who's there, say, a neighbor needing help. Also, I coulda carried a bazooka to the front door and I STILL would have lost the laptop -- the mistake was leaving it out back in the first place. Lastly, once I realize I've been robbed and I run back out front and see the first guy still walking down the street a couple blocks away, I suppose I could have chased him and, if I was carrying, shot that guy in the back. Probably not quite as sympathetic a case before a jury, shooting a guy in the back two blocks from my house, but what the heck. Also, it occurred to me that since the first guy was a decoy in the first place, my trying to chase him down the street before securing my house, and making sure that the second guy was not still IN my house, seemed like the right call. I am all ears for what I should have done differently IN THIS SEQUENCE OF EVENTS.

Yep, I have a dog -- 15 weeks old and I have high hopes he will be a good alarm in the future. Yep, I have motion lights, and you can bet they're getting a tuneup and maybe some new installations. And I do not plan on leaving any more valuables on the rear patio "just for a minute," no matter what.

Thanks for all the comments!

Thursday column on Wednesday! 'Wary' victim (me) no match for burglars

Here's the version of tomorrow's print column that I just submitted to the editors, so you can see my unedited errors in all their glory. Feel free to point 'em out.

* * *

So, I’m sitting on my screened-in patio Friday night, just before midnight, working on my laptop computer and thinking that I ought to go bed.

The front doorbell rings.

Maybe your doorbell rings at midnight all the time. Mine does not. So I figure it’s a neighbor with a problem.

Despite what some people might think, I am not a complete idiot. So I do not just throw the door open.

I peek through the peephole and see a young guy standing at a respectful distance, like his body language is saying, Look, I’m safe. I guess he is about 20, maybe younger.

So I crack the door and ask what he wants, and he apologizes and says he is lost. This is credible, since my neighborhood is not on the way to anyplace else and if you’re not there on purpose, you’re lost.

My attention is entirely focused on making sure he is not Mr. Home Invader. Go that way, take the second right and you’re back on the main drag, I say, and he thanks me politely and walks away.

This was just enough time for the second guy out back.