Shooting from the lip

Looking back at a weekend of televised sports ...

Most disgusting praise
North Carolina's Tyler Hansbrough is a heck of a basketball player. But CBS has turned its broadcasts into making Hansbrough the greatest player in the history of sports. Listening to CBS' broadcasters gush about Hansbrough, I wouldn't be surprised if in his spare time Hansbrough was brokering peace talks in the Middle East and on the verge of curing every disease known to mankind.

At one point during Saturday's victory against Louisville, announcer Dick Enberg enthusiastically complimented Hansbrough for simply posting up in the lane. Seriously, Hansbrough didn't have the ball, didn't get the ball, didn't get the rebound, didn't set a pick, didn't do anything except run to a spot. And Enberg acted as if Hansbrough had just done something no one had ever done or seen before. Not to be outdone, color man Jay Bilas said, "Michael Jordan couldn't outcompete Hansbrough.''

Whaaat? Jordan's competitiveness even in practice (where he would cheat to win) is legendary and suddenly he could learn something from Hansbrough?  Enough. Hansbrough is a great college player, probably the best in the country. But CBS needs to tone down the lovefest.

Just asking
Here's something that has been heard all during the NCAA Tournament, but especially during Saturday night's Louisville-North Carolina game: When North Carolina’s Tyler Hansbrough gets a loose ball, it's because he's working hard. When another player gets the ball, it's because the other player was "quicker.'' Why is that?

Best point
While CBS does tend to go overboard with its praise of Tyler Hansbrough, it's true that North Carolina is relentless. CBS' Jay Bilas said, "You just never get a break against North Carolina.''
Quite the praise, especially from a Duke guy.

Most absurd story
Times hockey writer Damian Cristodero reported on his blog Sunday that part of the reason Lightning captain Tim Taylor isn't going to play one last game is because some of the comments from fans he read on Cristodero's blog. Some fans said Taylor coming back would be selfish, and Taylor agreed. To me, that's sad.

Taylor has earned the right to go out however he wants and he shouldn't be swayed by fans because this is not about them. This is about Taylor. This is about all the years he has dedicated to hockey, all the hours he has dedicated to being able to play one last time after a hip injury that could affect the rest of his life. He should say goodbye the way he wants. If he wants to go out, skate a couple of shifts in a totally meaningless game that has no playoff implications for anyone, why shouldn't he? What's the harm? So what if it's selfish? He could pull a Slap Shot, skate around the ice and strip off all his clothes as far as I'm concerned.

No fan or anyone in the media has the right to dictate how Taylor should go out. Only Taylor has that right. Shame on the fans who discouraged him.

Most annoying coach
Dodgers third-base coach Larry Bowa always has taken himself a little too seriously, but now he has gone overboard. ESPN's Outside the Lines did a piece Sunday about base coaches in baseball being required to wear helmets after a minor-league coach was killed last season when struck by a line drive. Bowa and former third-base coach and now Pirates adviser Rich Donnelly actually have the nerve to gripe about it, saying, essentially, that a helmet doesn’t protect you from getting hit in the temple or the chest or somewhere other than the top of the head.

MLB executive and former Diamondbacks general manager Joe Garagiola Jr., who helped get the new rule put in place, said, "That argument to me sounds like, 'Well, if you can't do everything, don't do anything.'''

If their only argument is that helmet is uncomfortable then coaches need to shut up. Seat belts can be uncomfortable, but that's not a good enough reason to not wear them.

Best line
Mitch Albom, talking about Alex Rodriguez, on ESPN's Sports Reporters: "He wants to be Derek Jeter in a town where Derek Jeter is already on the team. And that's never going to work. … (The pressure won't go away) until he wins. That's the New York thing. Get out of New York if you don't want that.''

Worst announcing
Oh my gosh! Anyone catch ESPN's Gary Thorne make a total clown of himself last week during the A's-Red Sox game in Japan? A slip of the tongue is one thing, but this was epic. He confused Jose Canseco with Yankees first baseman Jason Giambi, somehow thinking Giambi has written a second book about steroids, this one including allegations about Alex Rodriguez. Thorne even said, "Jason Giambi'' and was corrected by partner Steve Phillips, who said, "Jose Canseco.''

But Thorne kept going as if he really did mean Giambi, saying things like "I want to see the throws from third to first,'' and "Here we go again in the Bronx.'' He even said the Yankees needed to step in and get the two together to avoid future problems. He obviously either thought Canseco played for the Yankees or Giambi authored the book. And, at some point, why didn't a producer say something in Thorne's earpiece?

Best pitcher
Virginia Tech's Angela Tincher  ended the USA national softball team’s 185-game win streak by tossing a no-hitter in a 1-0 victory last week. The question: How come Tincher isn't on the USA national softball team?

Saddest news
The most disappointing part about the NCAA Tournament over the weekend wasn't that there weren't any upsets, but it's the last time this season we'll get to listen to Bill Raftery, who remains CBS' best college basketball game analyst.

Most maddening moment
Yes, at 2 a.m. Sunday, I was thoroughly enthralled watching a college hockey playoff game on ESPNU between Minnesota and Boston College. That is until I saw a crawl at the bottom of the screen that told me Boston College had won, 5-2. Why in the world would the network spoil the ending? If anyone was searching for the final of that game, they could've watched the crawl on one of ESPN's other 84 channels or looked it up on the Internet.

Worst story
The UW-Green Bay student newspaper thought it would be funny to write a story saying Packers QB Brett Favre has decided to play one more season. The story, complete with quotes, was an April Fools' Day joke. Readers were supposed to notice the name of the paper didn't say Fourth Estate, as normal, but Fourth Mistake. It probably would've gone over a little better if the story had actually appeared on April 1 instead of March 27. On April 1, it's an April Fools' joke. On March 27, it's in poor taste and irresponsible.

I learned it from watching you, Dad, I learned it from watching you

Former NHL goalie Patrick Roy and his son, Jonathan, have been suspended by the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League after a big brawl over the weekend in a playoff game. Jonathan, the goalie from the Quebec Remparts, was suspended seven games for instigating a fight with the other team's goalie. Patrick, coach of the Remparts, was suspended five games.

Here's the fight.
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And in case you're wondering where Jonathan got his fighting skills, check out this video:

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And this one ...

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Say it ain't so, Joe

Here's the sad injury of the day. And by sad, I mean pathetic.

Ever see that show on Spike TV called Pros vs. Joes? A bunch of never-been amateurs compete in sporting events against a bunch of ex-jocks trying to relive their glory days. Actually kind of sad all around, if you think about it. I don't know whom to feel more bad for -- the Joe Schmoes who actually think they're even in the same hemisphere as being able to compete with professional athletes or the former jocks who have reduced themselves to dominating some construction worker from Buffalo.

Anyway, all former NBA player Derrick Coleman had to do was box out two Joes (one at a time) for 10 rebounds. The first round was no problem, as DC allowed only two rebounds to his opponent. But against a salesman from Philadelphia, Coleman landed awkwardly, injured his knee and had to sit out the rest of the show.

Somewhere in Philly, a long-suffering Sixers fan is either laughing or cursing. Or both.

Every girl crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man

I'm not sure who the best coach is in the country, but I do know there is not a better-dressed coach in the country than Villanova's Jay Wright. Ironic considering old Villanova coach Rollie Massimino might have been the worst-dressed coach in the history of college basketball. Seriously, Rollie looked he got dressed in a hurricane.

So while we're here and talking about college hoops and all, here are my picks for this weekend's Sweet 16 games:

East Regional
North Carolina over Washington State. Tyler Hansbrough is scary good right now.
Louisville over Tennessee. I like my Pitinos better than my Pearls.

Midwest Regional
Villanova over Kansas. Gotta pick one upset.
Davidson over Wisconsin. Actually, here's another upset for ya.

South Regional
Memphis over Michigan State. Good thing for Memphis this isn't a free-throw shooting contest.
Texas over Stanford. Those Stanford twins annoy me.

West Regional
UCLA over Western Kentucky. Bruins will win it all.
Xavier over West Virginia. Most even matchup of the third round.

Shooting from the lip

Looking back at a weekend of televised sports ...

Best feature
ESPN's Outside the Lines did a good feature on the rivalry between Tennessee women's basketball coach Pat Summitt and UConn's Geno Auriemma. It has gotten so frosty that they no longer play each other in the regular season even though it's the one game that gains interest from the general fan. The Boston Globe's Jackie McMullen put it best when she said: "I think they both have to understand that they're much better off together than they are apart if they really do want to promote the women's game. It's sad that the game still needs to be promoted, but it does.''

Summitt and Auriemma need get over themselves and put the game ahead of their egos. Not playing is like Ohio State refusing to play Michigan in football. Actually, it's worse because Tenn-UConn, unfortunately, is about the only women's game people want to see.

Most overblown story
Everyone likes to compare conferences in basketball, but it's time to stop that nonsense. This past weekend proved that there's no way to tell which conference is good or bad. The ACC, the Big 10, the Big 12, the Pac-10, the SEC, the Big East. They all have teams alive and they all had top teams knocked out. The mid-majors are well represented, too. If this weekend showed anything, it's that parity is taking over college hoops.

Worst rule
What's it going to take for the NHL to change the rules on icing? Is it going to take a player becoming paralyzed? A player being killed? Last week, the Wild's Kurtis Foster was the latest to get hurt. His leg was shattered when he crashed into the boards chasing down an icing against an opponent. A few years ago, a player in the Czech Republic was killed on an icing play. The league needs to change the rule now so that as soon as the puck crosses the end line, the whistle is blown and icing is called. In other words, the puck does not need to be touched by the defensive team. No-touch icing. The league needs to change the rule. Now.

Softest announcer
Just when I was starting to like Bob Knight for his ESPN work, he messes it up. He went on the Mike & Mike radio program and refused to answer questions about the controversy involving Indiana's coaching situation. Either you are a commentator or you're not. If you're being paid to give analysis, you have to analyze everything, not just the subjects you feel like. You don't see Bill Cowher refusing to talk about the Steelers. Or Tiki Barber refusing to talk about the Giants. Or Kirk Herbstreit refusing to talk about Ohio State. As an analyst, you're either all in or all out. If Knight doesn't want to talk about Indiana basketball then he needs to drive home, grab his fishing rod and go stand in a stream somewhere.

Best coverage
CBS does a bang-up job covering the NCAA Tournament, but it was absolutely masterful during a half-hour stretch Sunday afternoon, juggling three games at one time as they were all coming to a close. It kept track of Western Kentucky-San Diego and didn't miss any of the key moments in the Tennessee-Butler and Georgetown-Davidson thrillers. During this stretch, it became apparent that Verne Lundquist and (our man in the photo there) Bill Raftery, who were calling the Tennessee game, make up the best team CBS has. Yes, even better — way better — than the lead team of Jim Nantz and Billy Packer. Tim Brando and Mike Gminski called the Tampa games and did fine, although Brando kept making "bunny'' comments Sunday. We get it, Sunday was Easter.

Best analysts
This brief exchange shows again why NBC's Johnny Miller and Dottie Pepper are about as good as it gets when it comes to golf. It came when Jim Furyk had about a 5-foot putt during Sunday's coverage at Doral. Just check out how much they know and how much you learn.
Pepper: "He has backed away from this putt twice, which makes me think he might have trouble.''
Miller: "Well, he always backs away once.''
Pepper. "Once. But he has now backed away a second time, which could mean a problem.''
Miller: "He has a new putter.''
Sure enough, Furyk missed what seemed like an easy putt. This is the type of stuff they deliver all afternoon every time they’re on the air. And you know what? They didn't break their arms patting themselves on the back after Furyk missed his putt.

Softest team
The only thing surprising about Duke getting knocked out of the second round of the NCAA Tournament was that it got to the second round in the first place. Time for coach Mike Krzyzewski to go on the recruiting trail and pick up a few bruisers because the Blue Devils have become a soft team. Shooting 3s coming off the bus can work in December, January and February. But come March, when the grind of the season causes fatigue in the legs, it doesn't work. Did you realize Duke is 1-3 in its last four tournament games?

Best line
Tiger Woods didn't win Sunday, but that doesn't change anything that Mike Lupica said on ESPN's The Sports Reporters: "He is the main event in sports right now. … He towers over golf the way Babe Ruth once towered over baseball.''

Best team
The Celtics lost at New Orleans on Saturday, but considering before that they won games at Dallas; San Antonio, Texas; and Houston (in the game that snapped the Rockets' 22-game win streak), they have become the clear team to beat in the NBA.

Three questions that popped into my head over the weekend (and one answer)
1. Does anyone besides Rays manager Joe Maddon refer to Tropicana Field as "The Pit?''
2. Stanford coach Trent Johnson was kicked out his team's game against Marquette on Saturday. No matter what comes out of a coach's mouth, doesn't a referee have to give a coach a little slack in a tight NCAA Tournament game?
3. How many analysts are better at their job than ESPN's Doris Burke is on women's college basketball? (Answer: Not many.)

Shooting from the lip

Looking back at a weekend of televised sports ...

Best point
State U. wins its conference tournament so are they a No. 1 seed? Hoops Tech lost, so did that cost it a No. 2 seed? Hey, what about that team? What seed will it be?

Predicting which teams will be a No. 1 seed, a No. 2, a No. 3 and so on in the NCAA Tournament has almost become a full-time job for some. In fact, ESPN even has its own bracket­ologists and a segment called "Bracket­ology.'' (By the way, those words are completely invented for the NCAA Tournament.) That's why it was refreshing to hear former-coach-turned-ESPN analyst Bob Knight to say it’s all a waste of time.

"I'll go back to what I've thought all along — first seed, second seed, third seed … it looks nice that you got a first seed,'' Knight said. "But it really doesn't make much difference. The seeding, I think, has very little bearing on what is eventually going to take place.''

Speaking of Knight, wow, he was much better in his analyst job than could have been expected. Totally relaxed and insightful and, shocker of all shockers, engaging. Of course, he knows basketball, but the surprising part was how well he knew the other teams in the country, especially those outside of the conferences he has coached. He was candid without being rude, knowledgeable without being condescending and funny without being glib. I never thought I would write this sentence: He should consider doing this full time.

Best hustle
How bizarre was it to watch the SEC Tournament being played at the tiny gym of an ACC school with hardly any fans. The tournament, of course, had to be moved from the Georgia Dome to the 9,100-seat Alexander Memorial Coliseum on the campus of Georgia Tech after storms and a tornado Friday night made the Georgia Dome in Atlanta unsafe. At times, it looked like a high school tournament. But give credit to Raycom and CBS (the two networks that carried the tournament). Neither, of course, could have expected or even anticipated such a dramatic curveball, and the broadcasts did not suffer one bit.

Best analysis
The Boston Globe's Bob Ryan, talking about golfer John Daly, above, on ESPN's Sports Reporters: "It should be apparent by now that John Daly has no interest in being anything other than the walking country song he is. … He will go down in golf history as its single biggest squandered talent.''

Best Patricks
Happy St. Patrick's Day. To commemorate the day, here’s a list of my five favorite Patricks in sports history — and I'm talking those who were actually known as Patrick, and not Pat or Patty.
Patrick Roy: Best goalie in NHL history.
Patrick Ewing: Always think of this hoops great this time of year.
Danica Patrick: The favorite race car driver of the Two Cents page.
Patrick McEnroe: Yeesh, running out of Patricks. He wasn't even the best tennis player in his family.
Lester Patrick: Former Ranger so famous that the NHL once named a division after him.

Biggest myth
In hockey circles, there's something called the Gordie Howe hat trick. It's when a player gets a goal, an assist and gets into a fight in the same game. It's like the ultimate thing, and it's named after the great Howe, who was talented and tough. But do you know how many Gordie Howe hat tricks Howe had in his career? TWO! Hockey Night in Canada put an end to one of hockey's enduring myths by pointing out the only times Howe had a goal, an assist and a fight in the same game came once in 1953 and once in 1954. And that's it.

Strangest comment
As many blogs and even a YouTube clip pointed out over the weekend, it appears ESPN announcer Mike Patrick has fallen head over heels for North Carolina big man Tyler Hansbrough. If you listen to Patrick long enough, you're convinced that Hansbrough plays harder and better and even chews gum and ties his shoes better than any player in the country. That's fine. Everyone has their favorites, and Patrick certainly is entitled to like Hansbrough. But he made one comment that had me scratching my head. After Patrick's partner, Dick Vitale, pointed out during an ACC Tournament game between Carolina and Virginia Tech that Hansbrough might not enter the NBA draft, Patrick said Hansbrough was the "kind of kid'' who would return for his senior season.

I don't know what he meant by "kind of kid,'' but here’s how it was taken: Hansbrough is a good, smart kid and that's why he would return. And, in turn, anybody that does leave school early somehow isn't as smart or as good of a person as Hansbrough. Again, maybe that's not what Patrick meant, that's certainly how it came out. And, if that's the case, that's flat-out wrong.

Most tired sentiment
I can't think of anyone else who gets as many pats on the back in sports as the NCAA Tournament selection committee. With Jim Nantz and Billy Packer leading the cheerleading with handshakes and "congratulations'' and "great jobs,'' CBS once again tripped all over themselves to talk about how "hard'' it is to put together the 65-team tournament and how "great'' the committee did. The whole thing is getting tired. Just interview the committee, thank them for talking to you and then move on without all the on-air applause. At least ESPN's crew raised questions about selections, criticized the process and offered solutions.

Biggest party-pooper
Really, we like Lightning coach John Tortorella. And we know it has been a rough season for him. Still, he frustrates us when he refuses to talk about records, such as last week when he became the all-time winningest American-born NHL coach. He likes to slough off questions and acts all irritated as he says it’s not "about'' him. Torts is partly right. It's not all about him. It's sometimes about the game, and he does the game a disservice by not acknowledging the milestone.
At the very least, he could've made a comment or two about some of men he passed, including Herb Brooks and Bob "It's a Great Day for Hockey'' Johnson, whose record Tortorella broke. He had a chance to say some nice things about Johnson, giving us all a chance to remember and appreciate him and Brooks again and, instead, Tortorella essentially refused.

Worst player
Poor Johan Holmqvist. The former Lightning goalie traded to Dallas with Brad Richards got his first start Saturday night and was yanked after giving up three first-period goals. But shame on Stars coach Dave Tippett, who broke all the rules in starting Holmqvist, left. You don't start a goalie who is feeling pressure on a team that is in a free fall at home. You wait for a road game. In fact, Tippett could've waited until later this week when the Stars go to San Jose, Los Angeles, Anaheim and Phoenix.

Three things that popped into my head
1. As Arkansas was made its way to the SEC Championship, I wonder what former Arkansas and current USF coach Stan Heath was thinking about watching all the players he recruited do so well.
2. The best basketball tournament in the next few months might not be the NCAA tournament, but the three-round tournament to see who is going to win the NBA's Western Conference. Do you realize that a 50-win team might miss the playoffs in the West?
3. The best interview of the weekend was listening to former USF coach Seth Greenberg, now at Virginia Tech, whine on ESPN about not making the NCAA Tournament and saying how the tournament needs to be expanded. Hey Seth, if you had won more, you'd be in the tourney.

Shooting from the lip -- Wednesday edition

Rose of the day
In the wake of Rays prospect Elliot Johnson bowling over Yankees catcher Francisco Cervelli and causing Yankees manager Joe Girardi to whine about the Rays playing too hard, we are reminded of Pete Rose. Rose probably had the most infamous moment of plowing over a catcher in what was, essentially, an exhibition game. Rose creamed the Indians' Ray Fosse in the 1970 All-Star Game, separating Fosse's right shoulder in the process. Fosse would go on to play nine more seasons in the big leagues, but he was never the same.

So it's no surprise that Charlie Hustle had absolutely no problem with Johnson and plenty of problem with Girardi crying about it. In fact, no one seems to be siding with Girardi except those who live in the 212 area code. Anyway, during an interview with Ron Dibble and Kevin Kennedy on XM Radio's The Show, Rose said:

"There's one way to play the game of baseball and that is to win. If you try to win and you are within the rules, that's the only way to play. People pay money to watch a game and it's the players' responsibility to win the game.

"You can't tell a player to not bust their chops because it's a spring training game. I don't know why Joe Girardi would get mad, he's a catcher and that's what happens. It was just a freak play; if the player slides normally the catcher could break his wrist too.''

Check it out
Look for Times baseball writer Marc Topkin on ESPNews Wednesday night at 7:30. Topkin will be a part of the network's season preview of the Rays.

Doesn't get it
Twins manager Ron Gardenhire is one of the good guys, but he just doesn't "get it'' when it comes to doing all he can to promote the game. Gardenhire was bent out of shape about Twins radio interviewing catcher Mike Redmond in the dugout during a half-inning of a spring training game.

"Do I like it? No, I don't like it,'' Gardenhire told the St. Paul Pioneer-Press. "I think the game should just be played, (and) you shouldn't be interrupting the game with headsets and all those things.''

Gardenhire admitted to denying requests for access during games and reluctantly agrees to between-inning interviews when the Twins are on Fox's TV national broadcast. Lightnen up, Francis. Asking him a couple of quick questions between innings of a game in July isn't interrupting anything. Acting like a curmudgeon just proves that managers and coaches sometimes take themselves and their jobs a little too seriously.

Does get it
Apparently, Yanks slugger Alex Rodriguez does "get it'' after all. During last year's World Series, when it's pretty much a baseball mandate that no one makes news to take attention away from the Series, A-Rod announced he was opting out of his contract with the Yankees and becoming a free agent. On New York's Mike & the Mad Dog radio show, A-Rod had a chance to throw agent Scott Boras under the bus, but A-Rod took full blame.

"It was one of the classless things I've ever seen in sports,'' A-Rod said. "I'm responsible for that and I'm ashamed of it. I'm glad it's behind me.''

Best ever
ESPN's coverage of Saturday night's North Carolina-Duke game drew 5,612,328 viewers, making it the most-watched men's college basketball game in the network's history. It breaks a mark that was only a couple of weeks old. The high was between then-No. 1 Memphis and then-No. 2 Tennessee, which had 5.281-million viewers on Feb. 23.

Classless act of the day
Remember Ray Ray McElrathbey?  He was the young running back from Clemson who took over custody of his 11-year-old brother because his mother had a drug problem and his father had a gambling addiction. Even the normally pig-headed NCAA made an exception to allow McElrathbey to receive aid in the form of a trust fund and daily care provided by coaches' families.

Now comes this: McElrathbey is set to graduate in August (in just three years, by the way), but still has two years of eligibility left. He is considering grad school, but he won't return to Clemson's football team. McElrathbey won't comment, but a teammate told reporters it's because his scholarship is not being renewed. Why? Clemson is over the 85-scholarship limit and coach Tommy Bowden, who would neither confirm nor deny that is the reason, did say, "We're pretty good at running back right now.''

Bowden said he will help McElrathbey transfer if he wants to keep playing, but this story just stinks. Now McElrathbey and his little brother will have to move if McElrathbey wants to continuing playing football and getting an education — move away from friends, from support, from schools, from everything they know after getting their lives back on track. All because Bowden wants his precious scholarship back. The only promising note is Clemson senior tailback James Davis reminded everyone that the whole thing could backfire, especially when it comes to recruiting in McElrathbey’s hometown of Atlanta.

"There's a lot of guys they recruit in Atlanta'' Davis told the Post and Courier of Charleston, S.C. "People are going to ask: 'What happened to Ray Ray?' ''

Three things that popped into my head
1. Oh, no. What's going to happen to the Miami Heat now that star Dwyane Wade is out for the season?
2. Who knows how much he has left in the tank, but it's nice to have Warrick Dunn back in a Bucs uniform.
3. The Rangers are starting to look like a Stanley Cup team.

Shooting from the lip

Looking back at the best and worst from a weekend of televised sports ...

Biggest crybaby
Yankees manager Joe Girardi came off as a crybaby when he whined that the Rays' Elliot Johnson shouldn't have bowled over catcher Francisco Cervelli in a spring training camp Saturday. "I'm all for playing hard,'' Girardi said. "But I don’t think it's the time when you run over a catcher in spring training.''

Well, which is it? You're all for playing hard or spring training isn't the time to run over a catcher? Bottom line is he wasn’t "all for playing hard.'' If he was "all for playing hard,''’ then he wouldn't have whined about a hard-nosed baseball play. And, by the way, if you don't want your catchers run over, tell them not to block the plate. Or better yet, tell your outfielders don't try to throw out anybody at home … seeing as you don't think it matters anyway.

Worst moment
During ESPN''s coverage of Saturday night's Duke-North Carolina basketball game, cameras caught a shot of "Speedo Guy,''’ a Duke fan dressed only in a Speedo who tries to distract the opposing team. Cameras didn't show it live when the fan made obscene gestures, but some brainiac decided to show it on replay! Moments later, play-by-play man Dan Shulman said, "We'd like to apologize for the gestures of the new Speedo Guy … ''

Wait, shouldn't he have said, "We would like to apologize that we showed you replays of the gestures of the new Speedo Guy''?

Best insight
In going over some of the top running backs in this year's NFL draft, ESPN's draft guru, Mel Kiper, mentioned how the Bucs could be interested in Arkansas' Felix Jones.

"Tremendously explosive with the pads on,'' Kiper said. "Jones can handle the ball in a variety of ways and is always a threat to change the scoreboard, be it as a runner, a receiver or a kick returner. … Jones would be an excellent fit for Jon Gruden's Tampa Bay Buccaneers.''

Most intriguing comment
Did NBC hockey analyst Pierre Maguire really suggest that the NHL referees might have called a penalty on the Penguins on Sunday in their game against the Capitals to make up for some controversial calls that might have cost the Capitals a game on Saturday? We all have our suspicions that officials and leagues "even things up,'' but it's surprising to hear an analyst say it over the air.

Oh, one more thing from Maguire. When talking about how the Penguins were collecting high-priced forwards such as Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin and Marian Hossa, Maguire said, "I hope they don't end up being Tampa Bay North.''

The PODS
NBC's coverage of the PODS Championship was at its best Saturday as the wind turned our little golf tournament into something akin to the U.S. Open. "It almost feels like we’re back at Oakmont,'' cracked NBC analyst Johnny Miller.

NBC's golf coverage is always interesting because of two people: Miller and Dottie Pepper. The more they talk, the better the NBC broadcast is. Good thing they talked a lot because other than watching Stewart Cink blow up, the tournament wasn't all that compelling for TV purposes. (The course, however, made this area look nice to a national audience.)

Check it out
HBO's Real Sports returns at 10 tonight with a four-pack of interesting features, including one with a local angle. Host Bryant Gumbel profiles Mike Marshall, the former MLB pitcher who now lives in Zephyr­hills and has a Ph.D. in kinesiology. He believes his unorthodox methods could eliminate arm injuries, but major-league teams don’t seem interested in hearing from him. Interviews include Rays TV analyst Joe Magrane.

The show also features former Mets and Phillies outfielder Lenny Dykstra, who has become a successful businessman, Tennessee men's basketball coach Bruce Pearl and Rutgers women’s basketball coach C. Vivian Stringer.

Best coach
Anyone who thought the only reason John Thompson III ended up coaching Georgetown was because his old man used to be the coach there can shut up now. Thompson's bunch won the Big East regular-season title for the second year in a row Saturday. Impressive, especially seeing as how the Big East is the best conference in the country, at least this season.

Best coverage
HBO's boxing coverage has become must-see TV for sports fans. How good was Saturday night's broadcast? So good that I flipped over during a timeout in the second half of the Duke-North Carolina basketball game and was so caught up in the broadcast that I forgot to turn back.

In a lightweight title fight between Tampa's Nate Campbell and Juan Diaz, Campbell had a point taken away for a head butt that opened a deep gash on Diaz’s left eyelid. But HBO replays showed it was a punch that did most of the damage.

Then announcers Jim Lampley, Max Kellerman and Emanuel Steward went into a deep discussion about how Diaz didn’t have an experienced cut man nor the proper medical solution to stop the bleeding in his corner. Then in the seventh round, Lampley talked about how he had never heard of the three judges and if the fight went to a decision, expect the unexpected. Sure enough, even though Campbell dominated the fight, he won only on a split decision.

The head butt, the cut, the judging. HBO was all over it. It was so good that it almost seemed as if HBO taped the fight and then dubbed in the broadcasting hours later.

Best team
It's certainly amazing that the Houston Rockets have now won 18 in a row, six of them without injured center Yao Ming. I just find it hard to believe, however, that they will be able to win four out of seven against anyone when we switch over from regular season to postseason.

Best line
Mike Lupica, on ESPN’s Sports Reporters, talking about North Carolina big man Tyler Hansbrough: "Tyler Hansbrough sometimes plays basketball as if falling down a flight of stairs. But if you need somebody to go get the ball to win a game, he's your guy.''

Best player
While watching New Jersey goalie Martin Brodeur beat the Lightning on Friday night, it should've occurred to you that we are watching a true legend in the sport. You still have a couple of more years to appreciate how good this guy is. He is to hockey what Joe DiMaggio was to baseball, what Magic Johnson and Larry Bird were to the NBA, what Peyton Manning is to football.

Greatest news conference meltdowns

Last week, Michigan women's basketball coach Kevin Borseth had one of those moments sports fans live for: a meltdown during a news conference. It was three minutes and 36 seconds of fist pounding, screaming and saying at one point how his team "totally, totally, totally, totally, TOTALLY laid an egg.''
Good stuff, but it didn't make my list of 10 favorites. Here are my picks with links to some of the more PG-rated ones. You're on your own to track down the others.

Lee Elia, Chicago Cubs
This is The Godfather of tirades. The best ever with tons of great lines to quote. Upset with fans booing his 5-14 Cubs in 1983, manager Lee Elia unloaded, showing a vast and impressive array of expletives as he ripped the fans and stuck up for is ball club. I can only give you a small slice of what he said about the fans:
"The (expletives) don't even work. That's why they're out at the (expletive) game. They ought to go out and get a (expletive) job and find out what it's like to go out and earn a living. Eight-five percent of the (expletive) world is working. The other 15 percent come out here. It's a playground for the (expletives).''

Jim Mora, Indianapolis Colts
We all remember how this Jim Mora tirade ended, but don't underrate how hilarious the beginning was following a loss in 2001 that put the Colts at 4-6.
"I don't care who you play, whether it's a high-school team, a junior-college team, a college team, much less an NFL team,'' Mora started, "when you turn the ball over five times ... you ain't going to beat anybody I just talked about. Anybody! And that was a disgraceful performance in my opinion.''
So, what about the playoffs?
"Playoffs??!! Don't talk about ... Playoffs?! You kiddin' me? Playoffs? I just hope we can win a game.''

Jim Mora, New Orleans Saints
After a 19-7 loss to Carolina that left his team 2-6 in 1996, Jim Mora wasted no time. FDR is remembered for his "Infamy'' Speech. Lincoln had the Gettysburg Address. And Jim Mora has "The Diddily Poo''’ Speech.
"That second half, we just got our (rear) totally kicked,'' Mora before even reaching the microphones. "We couldn't do diddily poo offensively. We couldn't make a first down. We couldn't run the ball. We didn't try to run the ball. We couldn't complete a pass. We (stunk). ... We couldn't stop the run. Every time they got the ball, they went down and got points.''
Well, it kind of went on from there with lots of bleeps.

Allen Iverson, Philadelphia 76ers
Know how many times Sixers guard Allen Iverson said "we’re talking about practice'' during a two-minute, 22-second span during a 2002 news conference? Thirteen times! He said the word "practice'' 20 times. The next day, 76ers coach Larry Brown joked, "He said 'practice' more times than he has actually practiced.'' At one point, after he has already said, "We're talking about practice'' about seven times, Iverson says, "We're talking about practice. Man, what are we talking about ... practice? We're talking about practice.''
Sorry, I just got here. What are we talking about again?

Dennis Green, Arizona Cardinals
Here's what happened when the Cardinals blew a 20-point lead and let undefeated Bears escape with a victory in 2006. After trying to start a sentence about six ways, Arizona coach Denns Green finally snaps: "The Bears are who we thought they were! That's why we took the damn field! If you want to crown them (slams podium with fist) then crown their (rear)! But they are who we thought they were! And we let them off the hook!''
Exit stage left. Thanks for coming. See ya next time.

Herm Edwards, New York Jets
So, coach, why do you play the game? Jets coach Herm Edwards answered that question in a 2002 news conference: "You play to win the game! Hello. You play to win the game. You don't play to just play it. That's the great thing about sports. You play to win. And I don't care if you have any wins. You go play to win.''
You ... play ... to ... what was the rest of that, Coach, you play to do what?

John Chaney, Temple basketball coach
Some coaches go nuts during their news conference. John Chaney gets bonus points for going nuts during someone else's news conference. After John Calipari's UMass team beat Chaney's Temple Owls in 1994, Chaney interrupted Calipari’s post-game session to start yelling something about Calipari’s team playing rough. Next thing you know, the two coaches were being separated while Chaney was yelling, "I’ll kill you! ... When I see you, I'm going to kick your (rear).''

Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State football coach
He's a man! He's 40! That's all he has to say because it makes him want to puke.

Hal McRae, Kansas City Royals
During a 1993 post-game news conference in his office, Royals skipper Hal McRae starts off just fine, but then gets tired of, uh, answering questions. After playing 52-card pickup with everything not nailed down, McRae goes on to use a word that begins with "bull''’ repeatedly. Extra bonus points because one of the objects he threw hits a reporter in the face, drawing blood.

Bob Knight, Indiana basketball coach
I could make up a list of 50 meltdowns by former basketball coach Bob Knight alone, so I'll just pick our favorite. This breakdown didn't even involve a member of the media, but an NCAA volunteer during the 1998 NCAA Tournament. After a nasty exchange, it ends with Knight yelling, "I'll handle this the way I want to handle it now that I'm here. You (messed) up to begin with. Now just sit there or leave. I don't give a (expletive) what you do. ... Now, back to the game.''
You know what, Coach? I'm good. Thanks.

Shooting from the lip

Looking back at a weekend of televised sports ...

Most interesting deal
Finally, the big networks are getting it. CBS announced it will broadcast four EliteXC — that's a mixed-martial arts organization — events in prime time on Saturdays this year. EliteXC features legendary street fighter Kimbo Slice, who might be the scariest man alive. If CBS has any success at all, expect to see the networks jumping all over the mixed martial arts bandwagon.

There are rumors Fox is talking to the UFC, the most successful and popular MMA organization. And it seems only a matter of time before Showtime gets more heavily involved and HBO joins in.

Speaking of the CBS deal, Chicago Sun-Times columnist Jay Mariotti, on ESPN's Around the Horn, said: "CBS, the network of Edward R. Murrow, is putting on mixed martial arts in 2008. It's the undoing of American culture.” Apparently, Mariotti forgot CBS has given us Big Brother and Kid Nation, so the network has already done its part. Whether MMA on network TV is good or bad, this cannot be good news for boxing.

Best list
ESPN college basketball analyst Doug Gottlieb gave his list of the top five Cinderella teams for the NCAA Tournament. That would be five teams from small conferences that have a chance to get at least as far as the Sweet 16.
1. Butler
2. Davidson
3. South Alabama
4. St. Mary's
5. Drake
Good list, but he can't be accused of going out on the limb with Butler, a team that is ranked 14th and made it to the Sweet 16 a year ago before losing by eight to eventual-champion Florida.

Most disturbing deal
Excuse me if I'm not exactly giddy about Bob Knight joining ESPN for March Madness. Knight is a guy who has done nothing but criticize the media and make their jobs impossible to do during his career as a coach. As Sports Illustrated's Richard Deitsch pointed out, Knight once called the media "one or two steps above prostitution.'' But now their good enough for him?
And, ESPN, what are you doing hiring this guy who, deep down, has contempt for you, too? Did everyone at the World Wide Leader forget how bad Knight treated its own Jeremy Schaap a few years ago?

Dumbest comment
So we all know that sports leagues, deep down, want certain big-market teams to do well because it simply helps TV ratings and the league's popularity. Let's face it, any league — the NFL, MLB, NBA or NHL — would rather have teams from New York, Los Angeles and Chicago in the big games as opposed to, say, a Kansas City, a Portland or an Edmonton. But, geez, leagues aren't dumb enough to say it. That's why it was so surprising to hear Arena Football League commissioner David Baker say: "We need New York to become a champ. The more stability we have in bigger markets, the more it's going to help us.''

That's true. Still ...
This is not to suggest that the AFL has any funny business going on, but why even open yourself up to questions in the event a controversial call in the playoffs goes New York's way?

Funniest line
Mike Lupica, on ESPN's Sports Reporters: "Isiah Thomas apparently told his injured point guard, Stephon Marbury, not to attend any more Knicks games this season. But think about it. Wouldn't the Knicks be better off if it was the other way around?''

Best feature
Sports locker rooms are like Las Vegas: What goes on in there, stays in there. So ESPN investigative reporter T.J. Quinn didn't break any new ground on Sunday's Outside the Lines story about how baseball players, executives and staff ignored the signs of steroid use over the past couple of decades. Still, it was a chilling reminder of how this whole mess could've been nipped in the bud years ago.

"Very few people spoke up about what they saw,'' Quinn said in his report. "The Mitchell report exposed a culture of loyalty and secrecy that was practically an incubator for performance-enhancing drugs. Players had every incentive in the world to cheat and no shortage of people who enabled them, sometimes by simply looking the other way.''

Best praise/harshest criticism
During Sunday’s Lakers-Mavs game, ABC NBA analyst (and former coach) Jeff Van Gundy had lofty praise for referee Violet Palmer. Van Gundy mentioned how Palmer was one of two female referees to join the league in 1997.
"The other one wasn't very good,'' Van Gundy said, referring to (but never using the name of) Dee Kantner, who was fired after the 2002 season.
Play-by-play man Mike Breen said: "You're honest in your analysis — 'The other one wasn’t very good?'''
Van Gundy cracked, "She cost me a game in Cleveland once.''

Best reporting
CBS college hoops analyst Seth Davis had some juicy thoughts on Arizona, where longtime coach Lute Olson took the season off to deal with family matters and Kevin O’Neill is serving as interim coach and considered Olson's eventual replacement.

"It has been very dysfunctional between Lute Olson and Kevin O'Neill,'' Davis said. "They basically have no communication. Lute Olson has been in the office almost every day meeting with players, so he's been around. Things have really gone south between the two of them. … My understanding is that Lute Olson wants to come back, and he intends to be the coach at least for next season. So the most likely scenario is that next year Lute Olson will again be the head coach at Arizona. And Kevin O’Neill will not be there, and Arizona will have to find another successor.''

Worst choice of words
ESPN's Michelle Tafoya is a good reporter, but she went a little overboard talking to Lakers coach Phil Jackson during a Sunday Conversation on SportsCenter. She said the Lakers were "hands-down'' favorites to win the NBA title. Tiger Woods is a "hands-down'' favorite to win PGA events. Roger Federer is a "hands-down'' favorite to win tennis tournaments. The Lakers are good, but there are plenty of serious contenders -- the Mavs, the Cavs, the Pistons, the Celtics, the Suns and, oh yeah, the defending champion Spurs. Even Jackson said, "I'm still not sure about the hands-down part.''