Baseball fans in Tampa Bay are dumb

Don't be upset with me. I'm not saying that. Fans of Sports Illustrated are saying that. Sports Illustrated has come out with Major League Baseball ballpark rankings, based on results from a fan poll. Check it out here. Overall, the Rays and Tropicana Field come in 24th out of 30 teams/stadiums. (I'll get to the dumb part in a second.)

The way it worked was like this: Sports Illustrated took 10 categories and ranked the teams and stadiums 1 through 30 in each category. Then they added up all the numbers and the lower your number, the higher you finished on the list. Here's how the Rays ranked in the top categories:

Affordability (4th)
Food (16th)
Team quality (22nd)
Tradition (29th)
Atmosphere (28th)
Fan IQ (28th)
Hospitality (20th)
Promotions (15th)
Traffic (11th)
Neighborhood (22nd)

Cleveland's Progressive Field finished first overall, followed by Milwaukee's Miller Park and Pittsburgh's PNC Park.

Oh yeah, back to the dumb thing. The Rays' Fan IQ was 28th. In the poll, 76 percent of those voting rated the "baseball intelligence'' at the Trop either "average,'' "below average'' or "poor.'' Tampa Bay finished ahead of only Florida and Arizona.

Shooting from the lip

Looking back at a weekend of televised sports ...

Best story
The cold, hard fact is this is and always will be a football town. The Bucs rule the local sports scene and the rest of the pro and college teams take turns being No. 2. But even though the weekend featured the NFL draft, the buzz around town was clearly about the Rays after they swept the Red Sox. And rising to the occasion was the Rays TV team of Dewayne Staats and Joe Magrane. You know, you just become smarter listening to those two. Magrane was masterful Saturday night during a sequence when he, essentially, implored Edwin Jackson to throw a slider. Jackson did and got an easy groundout. Magrane is full of gems like that. The two always have been able to describe strategy, but now they get to show their enthusiasm for a team that is exciting to watch.

"We're seeing things we've never seen before,'' Staats said. "This is big-league baseball.''

Oh, and this, too: Whit Watson was a strong presence as a sideline reporter during Friday's broadcast.

Draft leftovers
Sunday's second-day NFL draft coverage on ESPN was better than Saturday's first-day coverage, and I think the reason was that host Trey Wingo and new ESPN analyst Cris Carter were involved on Sunday, but not on Saturday. Wingo did a better job than Saturday host Chris Berman. Wingo's top moments came while interviewing various players and executives, especially when he pushed Green Bay GM Ted Thompson on whether Brett Favre was truly retired and whether Thompson told new starting QB Aaron Rodgers that the Packers were going to draft Louisville QB Brian Brohm in the second round.

Carter, always a strong, opinionated presence on  HBO's now-defunct Inside the NFL, came out strong. His most interesting comments came when talking about how QB Matt Ryan will be accepted by Falcons fans: "They have more minority season-ticket holders than any team in the National Football League. And their hero is Michael Vick. And their hero is in jail. … Michael Vick is in the past. They need to let it go. Get off the black-white thing.''

Wingo line of the weekend
ESPN NFL draft host Trey Wingo, after the Bucs drafted quarterback Josh Johnson in the fifth round: "Some people collect stamps. Jon Gruden collects quarterbacks.''

Ill-advised comment of the day
A little arguing on live TV can make for good television, and ESPN even encouraged it Sunday during the NFL draft by pitting draft gurus Mel Kiper Jr. and Todd McShay against one another on various subjects. But then McShay crossed the line when the subject of Jason Taylor being traded by the Dolphins came up. When discussing whether a team made a mistake not trading a second-round pick for Taylor, McShay asked Kiper if he "knew'' if the deal was for a second-round pick. Kiper said he "believed'' it was for a second-round pick. That's when McShay pounced and said, "So you’re making that up.''

A debate is fine, but do you really think ESPN wants one commentator questioning the credibility of another commentator?

Funniest line
Mike Lupica on ESPN's Sports Reporters: "When the Raiders found out Darren McFadden got into a few bar fights, he moved up on their draft board.''

Funniest line (runner-up)
TBS baseball announcer Chip Carey, during Sunday's Indians-Yankees broadcast, talking about the pitching woes of the Texas Rangers: "They might need Nolan Ryan to come out of the front office and pitch in the pen.''

Check it out
Not a whole lot of chances to pump Arena Football, but Monday is a special occasion. The 8-0 Philadelphia Soul hosts the 7-0 Dallas Desperados in what is being called the "Broad Street Brawl.'' Don't know about that name, but we do know this: It's the first time in Arena League history that teams with records of 7-0 or better will meet. The game is on ESPN2 at 8 p.m.

Best interview
The best sports interview of the past week was actually conducted by CBS late-night host David Letterman. It seemed silly when he asked former Packers QB Brett Favre if he had ever gone hunting on the day of a game until Favre answered:
"I have to admit, yes. … I made it back in time.''
Letterman: "But what were you hunting and where?''
Favre: "I was just outside Green Bay. I was bow hunting. Didn't kill anything.''
Letterman: "Like in the parking lot?''
Favre: "A little bit further out. We were playing the Bears that week. I think we lost.''

Missed opportunity
In Sunday's pregame for the Rangers-Penguins, NBC tried to play up the controversial penalty on the Rangers that lead to the Pens' winning power play at the end of Game 1. NBC showed the play and mentioned how some thought Pittsburgh star Sidney Crosby embellished the call. Yet commentators Pierre Maguire, Mike Milbury and Ed Olczyk never gave an opinion on if they thought it was a penalty or whether Crosby took a dive on the play. Olczyk did say, "Sidney Crosby is not a diver,'' but it would've been nice to hear the NBC guys weigh in on the actual play … seeing as how they are the ones who brought it up.

Surprise stat of the weekend
Someone uttered this line during the NFL draft and I nearly fell out of my chair: In the 43-year history of the franchise, the Atlanta Falcons have never had back-to-back winning seasons.

Three things that popped into my head
1. My favorite thing on TV over the weekend was Sunday afternoon when NBC showed a replay of a brutal 1977 fight when Muhammad Ali won a unanimous decision over Earnie Shavers. Ali later said Shavers hit him harder in that fight than he had ever been hit. In fact, Ali's quote was: "Earnie hit me so hard, it shook my kinfolk back in Africa.''
2. Uh, anyone else noticing what Josh Hamilton is doing with the Rangers? He's hitting .375 with five homers and a major-league-leading 26 RBIs. Not to rain on the Rays' parade after such a fun week, but think Josh would look good in rightfield for them right now?
3. Bad Move of the Weekend Award goes to Hawks and former Gators big man Al Horford, who taunted the Celtics' Paul Pierce late in Saturday’s Game 3 victory. The Hawks still trail the series 2-1, the game was over at that point, so why talk trash and give the Celtics extra motivation?

Nine best songs about baseball

The Rock-And-Roll Hall of Fame and Museum in Cleveland opens an exhibit on Saturday called Take Me Out: Baseball Rocks, celebrating baseball and music. Check out the details here.

This calls for a list. Here are my top nine songs about baseball. Why nine? Nine innings, of course.

1. Centerfield -- John Fogerty
Favorite line: Just to hit the ball and touch 'em all -- a moment in the sun/(crack) It's gone and you can tell that one goodbye!

2. Catfish -- Bob Dylan
Favorite line: Used to work on Mr. Finley's farm/But the old man wouldn't pay/So he packed his glove and took his arm/An' one day he just ran away.

3. Joltin' Joe DiMaggio -- Les Brown Orchestra
Favorite line: From coast to coast that's all you'll hear/Of Joe the one man show/He's glorified the horsehide sphere/Joltin' Joe DiMaggio.

4. D-O-D-G-E-R-S (Oh Really? No, O'Malley) -- Danny Kaye
Favorite line: Maurey Wills draws a walk in the coach's box/Leo Durocher, Leo Durocher starts to wiggle and to twitch/A signal? No, an itch.

5. Right Field -- Peter, Paul and Mary
Favorite line: Playing right field can be lonely and dull/Little leagues never have lefties that pull/I dream of the day, when they will hit one my way/They never did, but still I would pray.

6. Glory Days -- Bruce Springsteen
Favorite line: Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture/a little of the glory of, well time slips away/and leaves you with nothing mister but/boring stories of glory days.

7. The Ball Game -- Sister Wynonna Carr
Favorite line: Jesus is standin' at home plate/Waitin' for you there/Life is a ballgame, but/You've got to play it fair.

8. A Dying Cubs Fan's Last Request -- Steve Goodman
Favorite line: Do they still play the blues in Chicago/When baseball season rolls around/When the snow melts away/Do the Cubs still play/In their ivy-covered burial ground.

9. Take Me Out to the Ball Game -- The Hold Steady
Favorite line: Well, the whole thing is great when it's The Hold Steady version.

I'm going to Disney World!

Stay at the Trop? Build a park down by the water? Let's face it, the Rays should just move to Orlando. They've played six games there, won all six. And now are at .500 for the season after the three-game sweep of the Jays. "If we get to the playoffs, we'd love to play here,'' pitcher Andy Sonnanstine said after the game. Speaking of a new stadium, we've been getting a flood of e-mails of late, most like this one from St. Petersburg's Danny Di Nicolantonio:

Instead of playing games in Disney and moving spring training to another galaxy in Jupiter, why not think of ways of getting people who are closer, but claim they don't want to come from Hillsborough and Manatee Counties? Why not just at the Trop and win!? The product on the field was the only reason for attendance, not the stadium. Listen to the fans. When they come to the Trop, as they walk through the rotunda entrance and give a collective sigh of relief. Ahhhhhhh. Just stay inside and and win.

Danny and all the letter-writers make fine points. But look, win or lose, the Rays want a new stadium and they're going to end up with one whether it's down by the water, in Tampa, in Orlando or in, I don't know, Portland or Buffalo. And we all need to get over this whole argument of "It's-Too-Hot-To-Play-Outside.'' The Rays aren't going to schedule 1 o'clock games in August. Ever been to Dallas-Fort Worth in the summer? Same as here, pretty much, and the Rangers play outdoors. Ever been to St. Louis or Kansas City in the middle of a heatwave?

Methinks it's a lousy excuse because it is not unbearable around here at 8 or 9 o'clock -- when the chunk of the game is being played -- even in August. Sure, maybe a few games here and there will be a little toasty, but it's no different than the fans up north who deal with a little cold in early April or late September or the fans in Atlanta or Miami or, really, anywhere dealing with a little heat in the summer. You just have to deal with weather occasionally.

The Trop is fine, but this is the part people need to realize: Even if the Rays win 90 games and average 25,000 a game at the Trop, it isn't going to end their quest for a new stadium. I don't know where the Rays will be playing in 10 years, but I will bet anything it won't be at the Trop. In the meantime, wonder of Stu Sternberg is trying to figure out a way to schedule a few more games in Orlando considering the Rays turn into the 1927 Yankees when they play there.

Here's a way to end the Madden jinx

You've all surely heard of the curse that strikes whichever player graces the cover of EA Sports Madden football video games. Anytime a player appears on the cover, he ends up breaking a leg or busting an ankle and, generally, having the worst season of his life. Players such as Michael Vick, Ray Lewis, Randall Cunningham and Shaun Alexander have all fallen victim to the dreaded curse.

Well, guess who will be the cover of "Madden NFL 09?'' Retired QB Brett Favre. Assuming Favre stays retired -- and I'm not totally sold on that just yet -- the jinx ends now.

Then again, I'm now on a daily quest to "Google News'' the words "Favre'' and "golf cart'' and "mishap.''

Stanley Cup playoffs, round 2

The second round of the Stanley Cup playoffs crank up Thursday night with two games: Colorado visits Detroit and Philly is at Montreal. On Friday, it's the Rangers at Pittsburgh and Dallas at San Jose.

So in the words of MC Hammer, let's "break it down:''
EASTERN CONFERENCE
Philadelphia vs. Montreal
Both teams are coming off emotional Game 7 victories and, quite frankly, I don't know how the Flyers are here. The Canadiens are the better team, but the Flyers have more grit. In the playoffs, that means something. Still, Montreal has a bit more scoring punch and cannot be accused of being soft. The Habs can withstand the physical play of the Flyers. And goalie Carey Price does not look like a rookie. Canadiens in five.

NY Rangers vs. Pittsburgh
Jaromir Jagr returns to Pittsburgh. Oh, speaking of Jags, check out what he said about Sidney Crosby/Mario Lemieux comparisons. The Pens are coming off an impressive four-game sweep of Ottawa, but the Sens were finished before that series started. The Rangers are deeper than Pittsburgh, better in goal and look for their forwards to punish Pittsburgh's defense -- the Pens' weak link. Rangers in six.

WESTERN CONFERENCE
Colorado vs. Detroit
A renewel of one of the most bitter rivalries in sports. I still think the Avs should sign Claude Lemieux just for this series. Detroit looked shaky against Nashville. In fact, the Red Wings looked shaky for big chunks of the second half. Still, they're better than Colorado. The Avs are talented, but key players are old. And I still can't believe Jose Theodore is playing as well as he has in goal for the Avs. If Theodore can keep it going, he could steal the series. But ... Red Wings in six.

Dallas vs. San Jose
The Sharks, as is their nature, tried to choke away their first round series against Calgary, but the Flames beat them to it. Meantime, the Stars were impressive taking out the defending champs. The Stars just have that look of a team that's going to go deep into the playoffs, especially with Marty Turco finally shedding his tag of "can't-win-in-the-playoffs.'' I like Dallas to win the whole West, but this series will be close. Stars in six.

The Dan Johnson Era: A Retrospective

Why, it only seems like yesterday that the Rays picked up Dan Johnson. In fact, it was two days ago. My how the time flies. Sadly, the Rays designated the legend for assignment Wednesday. His days, both of them, with the Rays appear to be over. So much has changed in the world. Think back to what the Rays and the world was like when Johnson joined the Rays:

* George W. Bush was in his second term as president.
* Gas cost $3.54 a gallon.
* Popular TV shows were Lost, American Idol and Deal or No Deal.
* Joe Maddon was Rays manager.

And then there's Johnson. As he walked out the door Wednesday for likely the last time, you have to wonder what was going through his head, what memories he held most dear. Maybe it was the time he showed up at Tropicana Field for batting practice and found everything locked. Maybe it was the time he asked someone where the bathroom was. Maybe it was the time he picked up his bags right before he walked out for the last time.

Today is a sad day. An era has ended. The Rays won't be the same. The only comfort we can take is that someday, perhaps even in a new ballpark down by the water, we will all look on the outfield wall and see Dan Johnson's retired number, good ole No. 17. Or 22. Or ... what number did he wear again? The Rays never lost a game with him in uniform. That's the only important thing we need to remember.

So long, Dan, we hardly knew ye. And here are two photos to remember Dan Johnson:

Dan Johnson as he looked when he joined the Rays ...

 

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Dan Johnson as he looked when he left the Rays ...

Who should come to Tampa Bay?

Every time some big-name NFL player becomes available, the first thought around these parts is, "Think the Bucs should go after him?'' Same with the Rays. And, right now, there are plenty of people available. So here's a breakdown of the some of those names and whether the locals should pass on them, or take a chance.

BUCS
Shaun Alexander: This guy was the MVP in the NFL in 2005. Not that long ago. And he's only 30. But his body is about 60. He has been banged up and pretty much ineffective the past two seasons. The Seahawks released the running back in order to keep Julius Jones, who lost his starting job in Dallas. So what does that tell you? Besides, don't the Bucs have like 19 running backs on the roster? Now if Alexander was a quarterback ...
Final call: Pass.

Chad Johnson: The Bengals wide receiver, who could be traded, talks too much, whines too much, causes too much controversy. Know what he does a lot of? Catch passes. He caught 93 last year. In fact, he has caught at least 90 balls in five of the past six years and the one year he didn't, he caught 87. Know how many times Joey Galloway has caught 90 passes in a season over his 13-year career? That would be, uh, never. In fact, only once in the entire history of the Bucs has someone caught more than 90 passes and that was 2001 when Keyshawn Johnson caught 106. Over the past four years, Galloway has been very productive getting into the end zone with 28 touchdowns. Over that same span, Johnson has scored 33 touchdowns. He is still only 30 years old. He can talk all he wants Monday through Saturday as long he shows up Sunday ... and his impressive resume proves that he does just that. And say what you want about his outlandish behavior, he isn't one of the Bengals who has been arrested.
Final call: Take a chance.

RAYS
Frank Thomas: The Blue Jays just released Thomas, who got off to a slow start after 26 homers with 95 RBIs a season ago. Well, the slow start wasn't the problem. The problem was he acted like a complete baby when benched because he couldn't hit his weight this season. In fact, he was more than 100 points from his weight. The 275-pounder was batting a buck-sixty-seven with 13 strikeouts in 60 at-bats. He even refused to shake his teammates hands after a victory. The Rays got rid of Delmon Young, who actually can play. So why in the world would they pick up a 40-year-old head case who can't? Supposedly the A's are interested in the Big Hurt. Let them have him.
Final call: Pass.

Barry Bonds: The all-time home run king is sitting at home. I know what you're thinking. The Rays aren't interested in head cases and Bonds is King Head Case. But here's the difference between Bonds and, say, Frank Thomas: Bonds can still play. Last season alone, Bonds numbers were still impressive. Hit hit 28 homers with 66 RBIs in only 340 at-bats. His on-base percentage was .480. (By comparison, Carl Crawford's OBP last season was .355. Heck, Derek Jeter's OBP last season was .388.) In other words, Bonds still is a productive player. He hits homers, drives in runs, gets on base. Think about that. His on-base percentage was .480, meaning he gets on base almost half the time. True, he can't play the outfield. He would have to DH. But I would argue he could come in and still be the best DH not only on the Rays, but in all of baseball. And, what the heck, Bonds would be worth just having around.
Final call: Take a chance.

Alexander the Great

I really didn't care who won Tuesday's Game 7 between the Flyers and Caps. All I wanted was a good game and the teams gave us a mini-classic, becoming the 30th Game 7 in NHL history to go to overtime. The Flyers advanced on Joffrey Lupul's power-play goal 6:06 into OT. But a quick word about Washington's Alex Ovechkin.

Alexander the Great not only showed what he is made of on the ice in the playoffs, but he showed what he is made of off the ice as well. On the ice, Ovechkin was terrific in his first postseason series: four goals and five assists in seven games, including a hand in both Washington goals Tuesday with a goal and a helper.

Just as impressive was his behavior after the game, holding his head high and showing grace and class in congratulating the Flyers in the post-series handshake. (You know, "one of the great traditions is all of sports.'') Then as he skated off the ice, he stopped and applauded the fans. That's the kind of thing that makes this kid special.

The Caps' future is bright. Of the 20 goals they scored in the series against the Flyers, 18 were scored by players 24 or younger. And with Ovechkin already showing he has what it takes to lead on the ice and conduct himself the right way off the ice, I'm sure of one thing: the next time Ovechkin is in a Game 7, I will care who wins. I'll be pulling for Ovechkin.

Egomaniacs of the day

The New England Patriots want to control the world and any attempts to stop them are futile! So surrender now.

You see, not only were the Patriots so arrogant that they tried to trademark the term "19-0 The Perfect Season'' before they played in the Super Bowl, they're still trying to trademark it after they lost the Super Bowl. In a Boston Herald story, the Patriots aren't giving up the fight. But why do the Patriots have any more right to go after that trademark than any other team? And what's next? Do they want to trademark "First down,'' and "Touchdown'' and "Interception''?

Maybe they should go after a trademark of something they have actually accomplished, such as
"18-1. We Choked When It Mattered Most.''
"18-1. And We Cheated To Get That Record.''

The whole deal of trademarking simple phrases and something as basic as a record seems ridiculous to begin with. I blame Pat Riley, who trademarked the term "Three-Peat'' when his old Showtime Lakers were going for three titles in a row in the late 80s. No more, I say. No more trademarking records and common phrases like "The Perfect Season'' since a bunch of teams throughout sports history have had perfect seasons. Well, I would make one exception. If the Pats want to trademark "18-1,'' that's fine.

10 most overrated events in sports

This occurred to me last weekend as I listened to CBS's Jim Nantz whispering over the piped-in chirps of birds and Windham Hill piano music: The Masters golf tournament isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's special, sure. Beautiful course, no doubt. Prestigious to win, of course. But is it really a "tradition unlike any other''? It's just the whole arrogant attitude that the Masters is the only true golf tournament that rubs me the wrong way. Much of the blame for that goes to CBS's coverage, but, over the years, the Masters certainly has played a major role in the propaganda.

So it got me thinking about events or happenings in sports that are overrated, not as special as we are led to believe. The list is longer than 10, but these are the first 10 that come to mind.

Poker on TV
Don't tell me it's not a sport because every time I turn on one of the ESPNs, I'm looking at some guy in a cowboy hat going "all in.'' People must watch it because every network this side of C-SPAN shows it, and I would not be shocked to see Senatorial No-Limit World Series of Poker any day now. I can hear it now, "Arlen Specter is hoping for a diamond or a seven on the river.'' I don’t get it. Playing poker is fun. But watching others play it? It's like watching someone fish or hunt. Where's the appeal? Bunch of guys in dark glasses and really stiff hats promoting a poker Web site who look like they haven't showered in four days staring at cards while playing for money that I can’t win. If Gabe Kaplan can become a star again doing this, there's something inherently wrong with it.

National signing day
Some kid I've never heard of … from some high school I've never heard of … from some town I've never heard of sits at a table and puts on a hat. There ya go. That's signing day. Then some analyst I've never heard of tells me what a coup this is for the school whose hat the kid is now wearing. Then we get accosted with lists from other people we've never heard of telling us which schools had the best day, and we get upset if our school is not on the list and we start Web sites like FireJoePaterno.com because the "old man can't recruit anymore!'' Tell you what, have your national signing day and I'll tell you in four years who had the best recruiting class.

The Olympics
Don't know the athletes and don't care about them. They might be great kids. I'm sure I'll hear about how they get up at 3 in the morning to train before going to their grandmother's funeral and then straight to their treatments for the rare and life-threatening disease they contracted while working in a shelter for abandoned kittens. Still don't care. I have never heard of them and it's impossible to get excited about watching them in a sport that I never watch except for every four years when it's rammed down my throat. The Games do give us special moments — Mary Lou Retton, Mark Spitz, 1980 hockey team — but there aren't enough of them to justify wading through the other 172 hours of coverage. I'll wait for the Cliffs Notes — the Bud Greenspan documentaries.

College bowl season
Only two games matter. The national championship and the bowl with my alma mater. But are there only two bowl games? Nope, there were 30 more than two bowls last season. Cincinnati vs. Southern Miss? Central Michigan vs. Purdue? Fresno State vs. Georgia Tech? Those were actual bowl games last season. I wouldn't be interested in these games on a rainy day in early September and yet these games, theoretically, are supposed to be the among the elite of the season. Rule of thumb: If Detroit and Boise, Idaho, are hosting, the college bowl season is too long.

Major-league baseball All-Star week
It starts with the Home Run Derby. I get it. Big-leaguers can hit home runs off of fat 65 mph fastballs. Seeing a slugger belt a homer in a game is cool. Seeing the same slugger belt like 12 of 14 pitches for homers off the bullpen catcher is like counting sheep. After about six homers in the first round, it starts to get boring no matter how many times Chris Berman yells, "Baack, baack, baack … '' Then comes the game, which is about as close to a real game as an All-Star Game can be, but you're still not going to see a pitcher back up a hitter or a runner take out a shortstop on a double play. So while we're at it, let's throw all the All-Star games, especially football's Pro Bowl — a game that even the players don't want to attend — on the list.

The Kentucky Derby
Weeks of buildup and hours of pregame for a two-minute race, and I bet 99 percent of the country can't name either a horse, owner or jockey and don't have the slightest idea of what’s exactly in a mint julep.

NBA draft
Here's what kills me. Teams draft players then immediately trade them. In 2007, six players in the first round ended up being traded almost as soon as they were drafted. In 2006, the number was eight, including one guy who was traded twice. In 2005, there were seven players drafted out of high school or from another country. In 2004, that number was 14, including three from Russia and two from Slovenia. So here's what you end up with: My team takes a guy I possibly never have seen play, but wait, that's not my guy because we just traded him for another guy I've possibly never seen play. And, oh, yeah, the first round takes like three hours. No thanks, I'll catch up on opening night.

USC-Notre Dame
Always on the short list of the best rivalries in sports, but USC-Notre Dame hasn't been "USC-Notre Dame'' in years. The 2005 football game was good with the top-ranked Trojans taking on the No. 9 Irish. But throw out that season and the last time USC and Notre Dame both finished in the top 10 in the AP poll was 1989. The last time they finished in the top six together was 1974. Simply put, this game hasn't decided the national championship in decades, the teams are not in a conference together and it isn’t a backyard brawl. Just because they play every year doesn't make it a great rivalry. Right, Army-Navy?

The Indy 500
When I think of the Indy 500, I think of Frankenberry cereal, Studio 54 and the waa-waa-waa-waa theme song to Sanford and Son. Those were things that were way hip in the 1970s and are irrelevant today. It's not even the best race of the day let alone the best race of year.

Around the Horn
ESPN does a lot of great things on television. This isn't one of them. The roundtable show during which four sports writers — usually men, usually white, usually middle-aged — scream at one another comes off as way too scripted. It doesn't even remotely resemble an actual conversation about sports, not with yelling for the sake of yelling, cornier insults than a Dean Martin roast and the guests spewing off numbers they can't possibly know off the top of their heads. Seriously, you think Woody Paige just happens to know how many quality starts Gil Meche had over the past four seasons? Pardon the Interruption works so well because hosts Tony Kornheiser and Mike Wilbon are themselves and talk like two regular sports guys. Around the Horn fails because the guests don't appear to be themselves and aren't likeable.

The new schedule is here! The new schedule is here!

The NFL schedule is out. Came out Tuesday. So let's quickly decide how tough each schedule is because ... well, that's the type of thing we do here. Anyway, here's a quick glance at each team's schedule.

Arizona: One of these seasons the Cards are going to be good. This year? Well, maybe not. Not with the Cowboys, Giants and Patriots on the schedule, plus tough road games against Washington and Philadelphia. At least they get the Cowboys and Giants at home.

Atlanta: Not that it matters who they play because the Falcons are a bad bunch. Still, the schedule looks hard. Sort of. Road games at Green Bay, Philly, San Diego and Minnesota. Then again, also should have a chance to win a few with Chiefs, Raiders and Rams on the schedule.

Baltimore: A tough road, with the emphasis on the word "road.'' The Ravens must travel to better-than-you-think Houston, Indianapolis, New York to face the defending-champion Giants and Dallas. And, of course, division rivals Cleveland and Pittsburgh. They close with a difficult patch: Redskins, Steelers (both at home), at Dallas, home against Jacksonville.

Buffalo: If Bills can get through first two weeks (Seattle, at Jacksonville), it settles down. Throw out two division games against New England and the only really tough games are home against San Diego (and that game comes after a bye week) and a trip to Denver on Dec. 21. They close at home against Pats. Yuck!

Carolina: Travel to San Diego in Week 1 -- not exactly the place to get off to a quick start. And the final five (road games at Green Bay, the Giants and New Orleans; home games against the Bucs and Broncos) not exactly the recipe for a fast finish.

Chicago: Tough opener (at Indy), but not so bad after that except the usual black-and-blue showdowns with division rivals such as the Packers and Vikings. Bears play three of their final four at home so they can make up some ground late in the season.

Cincinnati: Bengels can't afford slow start because they play the Ravens, Titans, Giants, Browns and Cowboys in the first five games. The second half does them no favors either with games against Jacksonville, Philly and Washington and trips to Pittsburgh, Indy and Cleveland.

Cleveland: Browns open with two home games, but look who they're against -- Dallas and Pittsburgh. Road sked is a killer, including games at Washington, Jacksonville, Tennessee and Philly. They better have a playoff spot wrapped up by the last week because finale is at Pittsburgh, where the Browns usually struggle.

Dallas: Besides playing in a tough nut of a division, the Cowboys have to work extra hard outside the division. They must play at some of the toughest stadiums in football: Cleveland, Green Bay and Pittsburgh.

Detroit: The Lions non-division schedule looks fairly easy. They have to go to Indy, but the toughest game after that is against the Bucs at that's a home game. But Lions fans better hope they don't need the last game. The finale is at Green Bay and Lambeau isn't all that fun in late December.

Denver: Despite games at New England and Cleveland, non-division road trips are very winnable -- at Atlanta, the Jets and Carolina. Toughest non-division games after that are against Bucs and Jags on back-to-back weeks in October, but at least both are at home.

Green Bay: Losing Brett Favre was bad enough. Now the Packers have to fight a tough schedule. Road games at Tampa Bay, Seattle and Tennessee. Tough home games against Dallas and Indianapolis. Not going to be easy to repeat as division champs.

Houston: Three of the Texans' first four on the road and all three are dicey -- Pittsburgh, Tennessee, Jacksonville. They also have to travel to Cleveland in late November and Green Bay in early December. Texans better bring their long-johns.

Indianapolis: The road portion of the non-division schedule is brutal -- games at Minnesota, Green Bay, Pittsburgh, San Diego and Cleveland. At least they get the Patriots at home.

Jacksonville: If Jags can get through first half of season, they'll be fine. They have to go to Indy and Tennessee in the first half, then get to host those teams in the second half. In the first half they also have to go to Denver and host Pittsburgh and Cleveland. Second half is cake compared to the first half, but still no picnic with games against Indy, Green Bay and a season finale at Baltimore.

Kansas City: Geez, this is a last-place schedule with the Jets, Falcons, Panthers and Dolphins. They'll get thumped in Week 1 at New England, but then toughest non-division games are both at home -- Bucs and Saints.

Miami: When you're the Dolphins, EVERY game is tough. But they do get a last-place schedule and the toughest games outside of the two against the Pats are home against San Diego and at Denver.

Minnesota: Look at the glass half-full. The Vikings annual toughest game is at Green Bay and this year, the Vikings go to Lambeau in Week 1 when Aaron Rodgers will be making his first start in the post-Favre era. But look at the glass half-empty, too. Vikes have to come to Florida on back-to-back weeks in November to play Tampa Bay and Jacksonville and close out the season at home against the defending champs.

New England: The Pats won't be challenged until their fifth game (at San Diego) and if they can win that, they might cruise all the way until their eighth game at Indy. The last real hurdle is back-to-back games at home against Pittsburgh and at Seattle on Nov. 30/Dec. 7.

New Orleans: If the Saints plan is to get off to a quick start to put last season behind them, it won't be easy. First three games are home against the Bucs then at Washington and Denver. If Saints can hold up after trip to London to play the Chargers in October, the second half of the season isn't half-bad, especially with games against the Panthers and Chiefs and two against the Falcons.

NY Giants: Relatively easy start for the champs -- home games against the Redskins and Bengals sandwiched around a trip to St. Louis. It gets tougher after that ... trips to Cleveland (on a Monday night) and Pittsburgh. Overall, however, not too tough outside the division.

NY Jets: After opening against Miami, the Jets host New England then travel to San Diego. Eee, that's tough. But the rest of the games are, in theory, winnable ... well, except for the rematch with New England and a trip to Seattle on Dec. 21.

Oakland: Bad team, but at least the schedule will give the Raiders a chance. Toughest non-division road game is at Tampa Bay in season finale. Toughest game all season (Patriots) is at least at home. Raiders could load up mid-season in a five-game stretch that features Jets, Ravens, Falcons, Panthers and Dolphins.

Philadelphia: Eagles get Dallas and Pittsburgh back-to-back in Weeks 2 and 3. And last four games are downright scary if you need a couple of wins to get into the postseason -- at the Giants, home against the Browns, at the Redskins, home against the Cowboys.

Pittsburgh: Not easy, but not ridiculously bad because of where the games will be played. The Steelers do have to go to Jacksonville and New England -- two places they rarely have success. After that, however, their four toughest games (Giants, Colts, Chargers, Cowboys) are at home.

San Francisco: The 49ers get both Super Bowl teams (Pats at home; Giants on the road) and then also have to go to Dallas. But last four games are set up to make a playoff push -- Jets at home, at Miami, at St. Louis, home against the Redskins. Then again, the 49ers might be out of the hunt by then.

Tampa Bay: If you're going to play at Chicago and Denver then you want to play there early in the season, which is what the Bucs will do. Both games in first five weeks. After Oct. 26 game at Dallas, the schedule really lightens up with home games against Minnesota, New Orleans, San Diego and Oakland and road games against Kansas City, Detroit, Carolina and Atlanta. A 6-2 mark in the second half is not out of the question.

Tennessee: Titans need to build up some momentum in the first half because they don't want to have to rely on final four to make the playoffs. Titans wrap up season hosting Cleveland, at Houston, hosting Pittsburgh and then going to Indianapolis. Oh, and before that, they're the team that has to go to Detroit on Thanksgiving Day.

San Diego: Whom did the Chargers tick off in the league office? They have to travel to London to play the Saints on Oct. 26. They get the Pats and Colts at home, but must travel to Pittsburgh and Tampa Bay.

Seattle: Difficult road games at Buffalo (to open the season), in New York to play the Giants and at Tampa Bay and Dallas. Patriots and Packers come to Seattle and that sounds a whole lot better than going to New England and Green Bay in the winter. Still, not the easiest schedule in the world.

St. Louis: First four games (at Philly, home against Giants, at Seattle, home against Bills) looks like a 1-3 start and maybe even 0-4 heading into a much-needed bye week. And, next three after that? At Washington, home against Dallas, at New England. Now we're talking 1-7, maybe 0-8, in the first half. Do I need to even bother with the second half?

Washington: Weird schedule. Three of the first five and three of the final four are road games. But at least the closing stretch (at Baltimore, at Cincy, home against Philly, at San Francisco) isn't too daunting. November could make or break Skins. In that month, they play Pittsburgh, Dallas, Seattle and the Giants. Good news is only the Seattle game is on the road.

Shooting from the lip

Worst propaganda
Is the Masters a great golf tournament because the golf and course are incredible or because we've all been programmed by CBS to believe it's the greatest golf tournament in the world? There is no other sporting event — not even the Super Bowl — where the network (in this case, CBS) constantly jams down our throats how special the event is. With host Jim Nantz using a thesaurus as a script and the commentators rarely going more than three sentences without talking about how great the Masters is, the coverage feels more like a cult meeting than a golf tournament.

Look, the Masters is a special tournament, but is it any more special or historic or filled with tradition than the U.S. Open or the British Open? In fact, I prefer those two tournaments over the Masters. It would be nice if CBS just let this tournament and course speak for itself instead of harassing us with the syrupy piano music, flowery prose and insistence that every golf tournament beside this one is akin to goofy putt-putt.

Worst part of the Masters
You can't really blame CBS for wanting Tiger Woods to make a Sunday charge because the better Tiger does, the more interesting the tournament is. But it became frustrating to listen to the commentators talk about Tiger in comparison to the other golfers. When the other golfers made a mistake, it was chalked up to "nerves.'' When Tiger made a mistake, he was never called out on it. In fact, no one even tried to explain why Tiger couldn't get in the hunt even though no golfer ran away and hid from Tiger and the rest of the pack. It has gotten to the point that no one on any of the networks ever criticizes Tiger.

The ratings
Tiger Woods is golf's sun and moon. So much so that some suggest there are two tours: the events Tiger plays in and the ones he doesn't. But for networks to see a boost in their ratings, not only does Tiger have to be playing, he has to be winning. That's what the numbers suggest anyway. CBS kept insisting Tiger was in the hunt Sunday at the Masters even though he really wasn't. CBS's Ian Baker-Finch, apparently with a straight face, said, "Tiger, ominously lurking, is just five strokes behind.'' This was with only seven holes left to play!

But viewers are smarter than the networks give them credit for, and they can read a leaderboard. So it's no surprise that the overnight ratings of Sunday's coverage were down slightly from a year ago. Sunday's final round drew an 8.9/18 rating, meaning 8.9 percent of homes with televisions and 18 percent of televisions in use were tuned to the Masters. Solid numbers, to be sure, but disappointing considering Saturday's ratings were the best third-round ratings in five years. And Friday's numbers on ESPN (more than 3-million were watching) were the highest ever for golf on cable.

Best Masters analysis
It would be wrong to let you think there was nothing good about the Masters coverage. CBS does have Nick Faldo, who isn't quite in the same category as NBC’s Johnny Miller or Dottie Pepper, but has become a pretty decent golf analyst.

Biggest train wreck
What in the world was Fox doing on Saturday? Yes, the network caught a bad break when its baseball Game of the Week between the Yankees and Red Sox was delayed more than two hours by rain and backed up into its NASCAR Sprint Cup coverage, but Fox bungled it about as badly as it could. With the Yankees down by a run and batting in the top of the ninth, it was apparent the game was not going to end before the start of the race. On the baseball telecast, fans were told the game would be switched to FX and the start of the race would be seen on Fox. The start of the race was delayed, but with two outs and two strikes, the Yankees' Robinson Cano kept fouling off pitches. So the race couldn't wait any longer and the network, contractually obligated to show the entire race, switched the baseball game to FX in the middle of the at-bat. Only a quick remote finger over to FX — which, by the way, is only seen in about three-fourths of the country — allowed you to see Cano make the last out.

Obviously, Fox was gambling that the half-inning would end before the race started. But it should've just gone to FX to start the inning. Better yet, it should've just stayed with the baseball for the rest of the half inning and then told NASCAR to lump it if we happened to miss the first couple of laps. After all, we couldn't miss a few laps of a 312-lap race?

Worst call
Boston College beat Notre Dame 4-1 to win the NCAA hockey championship Saturday, but Notre Dame was robbed on a call. It had a goal disallowed for being kicked in, but it didn't appear the puck was kicked. At the time, it would've cut the score to 3-2 with more than 14 minutes left. Instead, it stayed 3-1 and less than a minute later, BC made it 4-1. Kudos to ESPN announcers Gary Thorne and Ray Ferraro for criticizing the replay official for blowing the call.

There is one way to stop these controversies: allow pucks to be kicked into the net. You're allowed to kick a pass, you should be allowed to kick a goal. Some think you put goalies at risk for being kicked, but there are always skates flying around near the crease and it's hard to imagine goalies being at any more risk than they already are. Players wouldn't be kicking that many pucks to begin with and the ones they would kick would be on the ice, not 3 or 4 feet off the ice.

Best in the clutch
Rays TV color analyst Joe Magrane made a great point Sunday about slugger Carlos Pena. Magrane pointed out that Pena who hit 46 homers last year and already has six this year, never seems to hit his homers in "garbage time,'' like when the the Rays are trailing 11-1 in the ninth inning or up 9-0 in eighth.

"It seemed like they all meant something — getting back into the game, taking the lead, tying the game,'' Magrane said. "He was there when the Rays needed him most.''

Check it out
HBO's Real Sports returns with a new show Tuesday at 10 p.m. And it is another solid lineup of features.
* James Brown sits down with Twins-turned-Angels outfielder Torii Hunter, who talks about turning to baseball while growing up with a crack-addicted father. And he discusses his dismay that many African-Americans have become disconnected from baseball.
* Frank Deford looks back at the Mike Coolbaugh tragedy and its aftereffects. Coolbaugh was the minor-league first-base coach killed last season by a line drive.
*Bernard Goldberg does a piece on former high school basketball star Lee Benson Jr. of Dayton, Ohio, who was sentenced to seven to 25 years in prison on a firearms charge and is now trying to make a comeback by playing junior college basketball.
* In the most revealing piece, host Bryant Gumbel talks with presidential candidate Barack Obama about how basketball shaped his life. The piece includes footage of Obama playing hoops March 19 with troops at Fort Bragg in North Carolina. In the story, Gumbel tells Obama that the White House has an outdoor basketball court, and Obama says, "I wasn’t aware of that. I was thinking I was going to have to tear down the bowling alley to build a basketball court. But I'm still thinking if I get there, we may need at least a little indoor halfcourt.''

Check it out, too
After a four-month hiatus, ESPN’s news magazine show E:60 returns at 7 tonight with three features:
* A profile of Tiger Woods’ caddy, Steve Williams.
* A look at former Arkansas running back and NFL draft prospect Darren McFadden.
* And, the most interesting story of the bunch, a look at Oscar Pistorius, a South African amputee and track star. Pistorius is petitioning to compete in the upcoming Olympics, but critics argue that Pistorius’ high-tech prosthetics called “Cheetahs” give him an unfair advantage.

Check it out, three
Since I'm pumping TV shows, check out my show, The Press Box, Tuesday at either 6:30, 8:30 and 10:30 p.m. on Bright House Network's Catch 47. You don't have to watch three times. Once will do. The scheduled guests are Times hockey writer Damian Cristodero, Sporting News radio's Todd Wright and Catch 47's Tom Buehring.

Best of the old stadiums and arenas

Thinking about grand old ballparks and stadiums today. Ebbets Field, the longtime home of Da Bums from Brooklyn, had an anniversary of sorts last week. The stadium, which was demolished in 1960, opened 95 years ago last week. And, of course, this is the final season at Yankee Stadium.

So all this has me thinking about the greatest stadiums and arenas in history — the ones that have long since been replaced by swankier, state-of-the-art stadiums with plush suites and high definition scoreboards and all the bells and whistles. Only a few of the historic ballparks remain. Wrigley Field. Fenway Park. Soldier Field. Maybe another one or two. That's about it.  So here's a look back and the best old ballparks and stadiums and arenas -- the ones no longer in use -- of the four major sports. Maybe you agree. Maybe you disagree. You can weigh in, too, in the comments section.

Baseball
1. Yankee Stadium, 1923-1973
For starters, let's be clear. This Yankee Stadium I'm talking about is not the current Yankee Stadium. The so-called House That Ruth Built is not the same place where Derek Jeter plays today. That's the "new'' Yankee Stadium. The original Yankee Stadium, the one that was home to Ruth, DiMaggio, Gehrig, Mantle and Yogi, was built in the early 1900s for about $2.5-million and opened on April 23, 1923. It housed some of baseball's greatest dynasties, from Ruth's teams of the 1920s to DiMaggio's teams of the 1930s and 1940s to the teams of Mantle and Maris of the 1960s. As well as being the home of the baseball's most storied franchise, Yankee Stadium also was the home of the NFL, college football and some of the biggest prize fights in history. The old ballpark finally closed in 1973 to undergo major renovations and the new Stadium opened in 1976.
Most famous characteristics: Monuments of great players in centerfield.
Most famous moment: Lou Gehrig’s “Luckiest man on the face of the earth’’ speech on the Fourth of July, 1939.
2. The Polo Grounds, New York.
3. Ebbets Field, New York.
4. Forbes Field, Pittsburgh.
5. Tiger Stadium, Detroit.

Football
1. Orange Bowl, 1937-2008
Built by the city of Miami in the early 1930s as a home for the University of Miami football team. While the Hurricanes filled the stadium with fans and memories — just think names such as Bernie Kosar, Vinny Testaverde, Warren Sapp, Michael Irvin and so on — the Orange Bowl is just as famous for hosting the Miami Dolphins from 1966 to 1986 and five Super Bowls. The Hurricanes won an NCAA record 58 straight games there from 1985 to 1994 and the Orange Bowl was home to the NFL's only undefeated team — the 1972 Dolphins. In fact, the Dolphins won 31 straight home games (including playoffs) from 1971 to 1975.
Most famous characteristics: Open end zone to reveal swaying palm trees.
Most famous moment: Perhaps the greatest NFL game ever as Chargers beat Dolphins in overtime of 1982 playoff game.
2. Cleveland Stadium.
3. Metropolitan Stadium, Bloomington, Minn.
4. Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum.
5. Memorial Stadium, Baltimore.

Basketball
1. Boston Garden, 1928-1995
The place felt like a closet ... with no air conditioning ... and no air vents. Rats roamed the rafters and the basements. The court had dead spots. Some seats were directly behind pillars, making it practically impossible to see the action. In short, the place was a dump. And awesome at the same time. Supposedly the Celtics would turn up the heat in the opposing locker room in the spring and crank up the AC in the winter. Showers? Nothing but cold water. Whatever they did, it worked because the Celtics would win 16 NBA championships. Then again, maybe Bob Cousy, Bill Russell, John Havlicek and Larry Bird had something to do with all those championships.
Most famous characteristics: The parquet floor, the championship banners.
Most famous moment: “Havlicek stole the ball! Havlicek stole the ball!’’
2. The Great Western Forum, Los Angeles.
3. Chicago Stadium.
4. The Spectrum, Philadelphia.
5. Cobo Arena, Detroit.

Hockey
1. The Montreal Forum, 1924-1999
Usually, it's the team that makes a building a special place. That's the case here. And you only need to know one number: 24. That's how many Stanley Cups the great Montreal Canadiens at the Montreal Forum. Everywhere you looked, you saw bleu, blanc et rouge — the famous colors of Les Habitants. From Jacques Plante to Rocket Richard to Jean Beliveau to Guy Lafleur to Ken Dryden to Larry Robinson to Patrick Roy. The list of greats who called this place home could fill two of these pages. If there is such a thing as an arena being a church, the Montreal Forum was it.
Most famous characteristic: There is no glass between the home bench and the fans.
Most famous moment: The Richard Riot in 1955 when league president Clarence Campbell suspended Rocket Richard for the playoffs and was pelted with debris. The riot spilled out into the streets.
2. Maple Leaf Gardens, Toronto.
3. Boston Garden.
4. The Olympia, Detroit.
5. Chicago Stadium.

What do you think?
Have a favorite memory of a great old ballpark? Do you disagree with our rankings? Did I leave out one of your favorites? Give me your two cents.

Gumbel leaves NFL Network

The NFL Network announced Friday that Bryant Gumbel is giving up his duties as play-by-play announcer on the network's game telecasts. First thought? That's great news! Well that was the first thought I'd have if I was actually one of the six people who got the NFL Network.

Gumbel is a fine host on HBO's Real Sports and I even like his commentaries despite the fact that he comes off as incredibly smug at times. But I have heard enough of his game broadcasts to decide he is not a game announcer. Over his two seasons, Gumbel was repeatedly criticized for on-air mistakes, including once calling Tony Romo "Rick Romo.''

Anyway, the NFL Network says the search to replace Gumbel begins immediately. Two names that have been floated are Frank Gifford and Tom Hammonds. I'd have no problem with Gifford. Then again, like I said, I'm not one of the six people who get the NFL Network.

Q&A with The Fabulous Sports Babe

She has fought off cancer. She dropped more than 100 pounds. Now she's recovering from double knee-replacement surgery. And she says she's "more fabulous than ever.'' Nanci Donnellan, a.k.a. The Fabulous Sports Babe, returns to Tampa Bay radio when she joins former Bucs linebacker and long-time radio host Scot Brantley on WHBO (ESPN Radio) 1470-AM. Brantley and the Babe debuts Friday and will run each weekday from 3 to 6 p.m.

Back in 1981, Donnellan started on sports radio right here in Tampa Bay. She moved to Seattle and then on to become what is believed to be the first (and still only) woman to host a nationally syndicated sports radio talk show when she signed on with ESPN in 1994. In 1998, Donnellan continued her national show despite going through treatment for breast cancer. She eventually moved to Sporting News radio until 2001 when her show was canceled. Shortly thereafter, she left public life by retreating to her home in Gulfport. Over the past couple of years, she has filled in as guest host on various radio shows, but today makes her full-time return. Donnellan, who never reveals her age (she’s believed to be in her early-to-mid 50s), spoke by telephone from her home as she applied ice packs to her new knees.

How is your health?
I'm okay. I've got new knees now. I'm 2 inches taller. I'm like the bionic woman.
And you're cancer free?
This fall will make 10 years. It changed my life.
How so?
I'm more fabulous than ever. (Laughs) I have a whole new perspective on things. Suddenly knowing who the backup third baseman is for the Arizona Diamondbacks, let alone his actual stats, isn't so important anymore.
Why did you walk away from radio after your last job?
It was getting tiresome. I continued to work through my treatments (for cancer). I came back here to Tampa Bay and had my treatments at Bayfront hospital. I probably would make the same decision again, but when I got sick, I never really allowed myself to heal properly. It got to the point that my immune system was so badly burned, I couldn't even drive. I was wiped out. I needed to get away when I did.
What did you do?
I was here and I love it here. I know people call it God's Waiting Room, and I feel like I have to defend this place to other people, but it really is a great area. I hung out by the pool. I'm a beach girl. I did that. I didn't pick up a newspaper for six months. I didn't watch television for a year. I didn't listen to radio for two years. I reconnected with family and friends. That was the big thing.
And?
Well, you're not going to believe it, but I started working in fashion. We have this internet company called pjsplus.com. We make exercise clothes, yoga clothes and so forth for plus-sized women. I didn't know I had that in me. It's a mom-and-pop type of thing, but I've really enjoyed it.
When did you start getting the itch to get back into radio?
Well, I filled in for different people here and there and probably last (fall), I started thinking about it. And this opportunity came along with Scot and I thought it would be great because I worked with half the people who are there now.
Is sports talk-radio different than it was when you last did it full-time more than seven years ago?
Well, the amount of information available now to fans is so much greater than it used to be. In the old days, I'd go out to the Bucs press conference then come back and tell people what the coach had to say. Now, people know what the coach is saying as he is saying it.
What makes good talk radio?
Passion. That's the big thing. But now there's so much yelling going on. Too much of it, I think. I thought talk radio and everything would be kindlier and gentler following 9/11, but boy, was I wrong. It went the other direction. There's more yelling and screaming than ever before.
You did a little yelling, but you never came off as malicious.
Well, I don't suffer fools. I'm still not going to listen to some guy go on and on about his fantasy team. This is still an entertainment business. We can't ever forget that.
What kind of show do you want to have?
Well, Scot and I are different so there should be some fireworks. I love Scot. I covered him when he played for Bucs, so we go back. He does a great job and I look forward to coming in with him, talking about my football team here, my baseball team and my hockey team, which, by the way, better get itself straightened out.
Before we let you go, break down the teams for us. What do you think of the Rays these days?
My gut reaction is "Who are you guys? You're going to do away with 100 years of tradition and take spring training out of here? And now you want to build a $450-million stadium and I'm supposed to help you pay for this? I'm not paying for this. How about winning a few games first and then come see me.''
The Bucs?
I gotta tell you, those two guys — Jon Gruden and Bruce Allen — come off as a couple of smart-(expletive) frat boys to me. But Gruden gets a lifetime pass from me because he brought a Super Bowl champion here and I never, ever thought I would see that in my lifetime. So Gruden is okay by me.
The Lightning?
In the NHL, everybody makes the playoffs. If you can't make the playoffs then you pretty much (stink). Right? I mean, you, me and four guys could put together a team and get close to a playoff spot, no? But they're going to get the No. 1 pick and I really like John Tortorella. I think he's a terrific coach. So I think the Lightning is going to be okay.
So you're back. Is this the start of something big? Where are you going to be in five years?
Five years? All I know is what I'm doing five minutes from now and that’s turning over the ice bags on my knees. That's as far ahead as I think these days.

Who can beat Tiger?

The Masters starts Thursday and Tiger Woods, of course, is the favorite. He has won four times at Augusta, but is looking for his first green jacket since 2005. So who wins this weekend? I'll take Tiger and you take the field and I'll feel good about my chances. But, here are five players with the best chance of upsetting Tiger and wearing the green jacket come Sunday afternoon.

1. Phil Mickelson. Lefty has actually won more Masters in the past four years than Tiger. He won in 2004 and then again in 2006. He hasn't looked quite like himself recently, but the course is perfectly suited to his game and his success at Augusta gives him the confidence anyone needs to hold off Tiger. And if you believe in the whole even-numbered year thing, it's Mickelson's turn to win.

2. Zach Johnson. If I had offered up Zach Johnson's name a year ago, you probably would've said, "Zach Who?'' But now, we're talking about the defending Masters champ. Last year, he played the Par 5's in 11-under-par. If he can do that again, he'll have a chance.

3. Geoff Ogilvy. Playing as well as anyone the past month. He won at Doral and finished tied for second in Houston. Also has shown he can handle the pressure when his name is on the leaderboard next to Tiger's. One of the few guys who doesn't seem to get intimidated by Woods.

4. Fred Couples. Freddy seems to be gearing up for one great last run in his career and was in the hunt in Houston. And this is a place where he's extremely comfortable. He has played in 23 Masters and made the cut 23 times, winning in 1992. In fact, he's the only Masters champ to have never missed the cut and his streak of making 23 straight cuts at the Masters is a record he shares with Gary Player.

5. Jim Furyk. Another player who handles pressure well. He doesn't hit it long, and that could present some problems if the Augusta course plays long this weekend. But he hits 'em straight and that's always a good thing at Augusta. When his putter is working, he's usually in the running.

Who you should root for in the Stanley Cup playoffs

Okay, so I could break down each of the Stanley Cup playoff series, and tell you which team has the better goaltending or which power play is good. I can talk about coaching and match-ups and all that junk. But if you're a hockey diehard, you already know that stuff. (Sidney Crosby is really good, Zdeno Chara is really big and Chris Chelios is really old. So there you go.)

No, this playoff preview won't tell you who will win, but which team you should be rooting for. Of course, if you grew up in, say, Philly and think a cheesesteak is the staple of any good breakfast, I don't expect you too root against the Flyers. But if you're sitting down to watch a game and really don't care who wins, here's a little help.

EASTERN CONFERENCE
Montreal vs. Boston
There are few places on earth where something means as much to a town as hockey means to the people of Montreal. It's like football in Western Pennsylvania or basketball in Indiana. It's everything. So cheer for the Habs. They really do have the best, most passionate fans in the league and there's no place more electric in the NHL than the Molson Centre in the postseason. They have the coolest uniforms in sports. And the league is always way more fun and interesting when the Canadiens are good. Besides, the Bruins are watching-paint-dry boring. Plus, aren't we all sick of Boston after the Red Sox and Patriots? Anyway, they have the Celtics to cheer for this spring.

Pittsburgh vs. Ottawa
You should like the Penguins because they were once great, sunk to the bottom of the league and rebuilt through the draft and player development instead of just re-loading with free agents. Then again, let's be honest: they were flat-out lucky to end up with Sidney Crosby. But here's the thing: Crosby is a good kid who works hard and deserves to have good things happen to him. Ottawa had its chance. The Sens should be working on Cup No. 2 or 3 by now and instead, they still don't have one. So step aside and let someone who isn't going to waste their chance have a crack at it.

Washington vs. Philadelphia
Both have rags-to-riches stories worth cheering for. The Caps went from last in the conference this season to a No. 3 seed. Philly had a franchise-low 56 points last year and have re-tooled the right way. So who should you root for? Think of this: everytime Washington's Alex Ovechkin plays, there's a chance to see something we've never seen before. So the more times he plays, the more incredible memories we might collect. So root for Washington. Besides, the Flyers are still a little too dirty to like and Derian Hatcher plays like a thug.

New Jersey vs. NY Rangers
Anytime the Devils win, it's bad for the NHL. It only confirms that playing that plodding, boring, neutral-zone trap, try to win every game 2-1 can actually work and then you have 30 teams trying to win that way. Then it's not hockey; it's soccer. Devils goalie Martin Brodeur might be the nicest guy in the league, but he has already won his Cups, so let's get the Devils out of here. And I love Jaromir Jagr, whom I think gets bad rap for being a dog. No way you score almost 1,600 points playing like a dog. It would be great to see Jagr go out on top, and stick to all those no-nothing numbskulls he who say, "Jagr only plays when he wants to play.'' Plus, the better the Rangers do, the better it is for the health of the NHL.

WESTERN CONFERENCE
Detroit vs. Nashville
Nashville should get some kind of trophy for just making the playoffs, considering all the players it lost from last season and all the injuries it had this season. An upset of the Wings would be one of the biggest in league history and it might be worth hoping for just for the historic angle. But then the Preds would get bombed in the next round and then it wouldn't be worth it. It's easy to not like the Red Wings because they're just so good, but their consistency should be admired, not hated. And there's this: Red Wings fans are better (in both quality and quantity) than Predators fans. So, go with the Wings.

San Jose vs. Calgary
Calgary coach Mike Keenan can be a real jerk, but jerks are interesting, no? We like crazy. And you gotta love Calgary's Jarome Iginla, who is as nice off the ice as he is good on the ice. The Sharks have paid their postseason dues, but they've lost too many times in the playoffs to teams they should've beaten. That's annoying. I actually think the Sharks have a chance to win it all if they remove their hands from their throats for a change. But I'm rooting for Calgary.

Minnesota vs. Colorado
True, the Wild is the West's version of the Devils, playing that boring defensive style. But the big difference is the Wild has Marian Gaborik, whom I think could be pound-for-pound the best player in the NHL. Jacques Lemaire is the NHL's best coach and, I speak from experience, a heck of a nice guy. The fans are incredible. Every home game -- including exhibition games -- has been sold out. Sports Illustrated called it the new Hockey Town. Avs fans, meantime, are fair-weathered. Go Wild people.

Dallas vs. Anaheim
This is easy. The Stars have Brad Richards and we all like Brad Richards, right? The Ducks have Chris Pronger and we all hate Chris Pronger, right? Yes, we hate him. And the reason is he is too good of a player to consistently dish out the cheap shots he dishes out. Anaheim won its Cup last season, so time for someone new.

What was he thinking?

Memphis basketball coach John Calipari seems like a good guy. And he has done enough in his career to qualify as a pretty decent coach. But what in the world was he thinking during the last 10 seconds of regulation in Monday night's national title game loss to Kansas?

With 10.8 seconds left, Memphis Derrick Rose made a free throw to put the Tigers up by three. At that moment, Calipari had two timeouts. He could've (should've) called time out, told his team to foul Kansas and put the Jayhawks at the line with the chance to only move to within one point. Instead, Calipari chose to not call timeout. Memphis didn't foul and Kansas' Mario Chalmers drilled a three-pointer with 2.1 seconds left to tie the game and send it to overtime.

Calipari claimed after the game that Memphis was supposed to foul, but if you look at the replays, no one was trying to foul anyone. It's obvious the Memphis players didn't know they were supposed to foul. This was for the national championship, people. Don't leave anything to chance. Call time out and make sure your players know what they're doing.

And speaking of timeouts, don't you then use one with 2.1 seconds left to come up with a play that might get you a better shot to win than the half-court, no-chance prayer Memphis tried?

Sure, if Memphis makes just one free throw down the stretch instead of going 1-for-its-last-5, it wins. But Calipari dropped the ball in the final 10 seconds. No way Kansas should've shot a three-pointer to tie and Calipari is blame for that.

Sad day in Cleveland

Those from Cleveland will be sad to hear that Gib Shanley, who served as the radio announcer on Browns games from 1961 to 1984, passed away of complications from pneumonia on Sunday. He was 76.

Shanley, who was the face of sports at WEWS-ABC for 20 years, might best remembered for lighting an Iranian flag on fire during a news broadcast during the hostage crisis in 1979. Shanley then said anyone from Iran who was offended should leave the country. The station received about 500 phones calls, almost all in support of Shanley. The photo is of Shanley (on the left) with Jim Graner, another Cleveland sports anchor.

Congrats to Dickie V

Congratulations to one of our favorites here at Two Cents: Dick Vitale. The ESPN college basketball announcer was selected for induction into the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame Class of 2008 as a contributor. And, really, can you think of many people who have done more to advance the cause of college basketball than Vitale?

"Goosebumps ran through my body when I received the call,'' Vitale said. "I am in awe, absolute awe, of the people who have been enshrined. I am honored to be included with those greats who have been so much a part of my life. I wish my mom and dad -- my greatest inspiration -- were here here to experience this honor with me. They would be so proud. Basketball has given me a life that has exceeded any dream I ever had.''

I know a lot of people out there don't care for Vitale, most because they think his on-camera ranting and raving is an act. But it isn't. The Dickie V you see on TV is exactly the Dickie V you get in person. It's not a schtick. He's not a phoney. That's who he is. The honor he received Monday is well-deserved.

And the best part of all? Making the Hall of Fame probably means more to Dickie V than anyone who has ever been inducted.