Last week in this space, I gave you a list of annoying things that should be banned in sports, like all those yahoo golf fans who scream "Get in the hole'' after every shot, or basketball players who give high-fives to a teammate after a missed free throw. That drew a reaction from many of you, including those who are totally disgusted with Rays pitcher Matt Garza's spitting. So I add a few more to the ever-growing list, including many sent in by you.
Wrong season
One of the comments on the Two Cents blog: "Throw the idiots out who show up to a game decked out from head to toe with gear of a team that is not even playing in the game they are watching. You can also add in the idiots who wear gear for a sport they are not even watching (see Philadelphia fan wearing an Eagles jersey to a Phillies game).'' We might add that going shirtless and painting your face isn't necessarily a reason for ejection, but it is a reason to call you a loser.
Hello, idiot
Wayne Koehler wrote in with, "Let's make it illegal to sit behind home plate and wave at your friend who you are talking to on your cell phone.'' Amen! Along with that, let's also kick out those hockey fans who sit along the glass then turn around and wave to the camera while on their cell phones whenever the puck is in front of them.
Act like a grown-up
Speaking of attire, there should be a rule that no adult is allowed to wear a team jersey with the name and number of a player who is younger than him. So, if you're 40 years old and a St. Louis Cardinals fan, you cannot wear an Albert Pujols jersey, but you can wear a Lou Brock or Stan Musial jersey. Along those lines, anyone over the age of 15 should not be permitted into a professional baseball game with a glove unless you're playing in the game.
Excuses, excuses
An old colleague of mine, David Alfonso, offered up this: "Anyone who brings up a 'concern for academics' in a discussion over a college football playoff would immediately be slapped silly upside the head with a 20-pound textbook.''
Nice shoes
Golf fans, leave your golf shoes at home. Again, the only people allowed to wear golf shoes on a golf course are golfers, caddies and Dottie Pepper. That's it.
Money woes
Here's another reader response: "Eliminate any and all reporting of athletes' contracts/negotiations/terms as if it were 'sports news,' which it clearly is not. I never need to know that any player wants $96 million over four years, but management is offering only $80 million over three years.''
Add these ads to the list
I wrote last week how much we can't stand that cell phone commercial where the guy dumps sprinkles on the counter. You said the commercials you want to see yanked off the air include those Progressive insurance commercials with the saleswoman named Flo, the Geico ads with the stack of money and Rockwell's Somebody's Watching Me and all those "dysfunction''’ commercials with people taking baths outside.
Good riddance
Another reader said what he wanted banned has already been banned: "My prayers were answered when (Tony) Kornheiser was asked if he wanted to resign or get fired (from Monday Night Football).'' Hey, I liked Kornheiser on MNF, but I'm guessing I'm in the minority on that one.
Enough of these sayings
Readers wrote in to ban the following from the sports lexicon: "can of corn,'' "performance-enhancing drugs'' and "it is what it is.''
Enough of these people
Readers wrote in to ban the following people from sports: Chris Berman, Joe Morgan and anyone who thinks it would be a good idea for the Lightning to trade Vinny Lecavalier.
Enough of these songs
Readers wrote in to ban the following songs from sporting events: Rock and Roll Part 2, We Will Rock You, We Are The Champions and Crazy Train.
Well, that's it for now. But if you have more, leave a comment below or e-mail me at tjones@sptimes.com.
Tom Jones doesn't sing "It's Not Unusual'' or shake his hips (well, unless you're willing to pay cash), but he does have plenty to say about sports. If it's funny, crazy, weird, irreverent or worth arguing, Tom has his opinions. So pull up a chair and get his two cents -- and give him your two cents, as well.
E-mail Tom Jones:
i guess i'm in a minority too tom. i too liked kornheiser.
it seemed if people who were familar with his work at the washington post or his radio show, they liked kornheiser.
those that were not familar with his background loathed him because he not only refused to talk Xs and Os, he was bored by it.
Posted by: joe hillman | June 24, 2009 at 08:48 AM
Hey, how about those people that stand up the entire game, even in the first inning? You tell them to sit down and they look at your like YOU'RE the idiot. :)
They always seem to find seats three rows in front of me directly between me and home plate.
Posted by: Pete | June 24, 2009 at 11:21 AM
I love tony Kornheiser. I thought he and Jaws were pretty good in the booth together often giving two great perspectives. As a former player Jaws had great insight and Tony gave us a great fan perspective. I agree with the majority of what Tom Jones wrote (as always) except taking the song 'Crazy Train" out of games. I STILL get pumped up everytime that song starts up before Bucs games. Chris Berman has lost it and Joe Morgan certainly loves him some Joe Morgan. We get it Joe, you were a good player, you know baseball, and you could still go out there, hit four homers, and throw a complete game shutout all in the same game.
Posted by: JVNootz | June 24, 2009 at 01:29 PM
Anyone holding a sign at the game that reads "John 3:16" shall be henceforth banned for life from any public sports venue. Anyone who makes a sign to bring to a game that was clearly made in the parking lot on old cardboard and with a fine tip Sharpee that makes it nearly impossible to read shall be forced to take a semester of classes from the Art Institute of America.
Any guy that goes shirtless at a ballgame-especially in the winter-and needs to wear a "Bro" shall be banished to the bowels of the stadium and out of the field of view of the camera crew broadcasting the game.
Posted by: politically incorrect | June 24, 2009 at 01:35 PM
Let me see, the only way I can wear a Rays jersey to a game is to somehow find one one with Wade Boggs' number (or maybe Don Zimmer)? If you're past baseball retirement age, and you're a fan of a young franchise, you're outta luck, right?
Guess What! I'm going to wear my Longoria jersey AND carry my glove to the Trop and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it! Why don't you go gripe about your neighbor's lawnmower or something, you shoulda quit while you were ahead. What next, you're gonna put a velvet rope up front and only let people in who have the right "look" like Studio 54 or something?
Posted by: LockBull | June 24, 2009 at 01:36 PM
PS, I love your Putty picture! Isn't it ironic for a guy who has a Jesus Fish on his car and listens to Christian radio to be a fan of the NJ Devils???
Posted by: politically incorrect | June 24, 2009 at 01:38 PM
How bout the drunk idiot at the race simulcast facility that yells at the tv monitor for the leading horse to "break a leg" just because he has two lousy bucks on a horse that is behind. Or what about the moron who cusses profanity at a referee just because a call didn't go his way in front of young kids!
Posted by: Never again attending a Bucs game | June 24, 2009 at 02:42 PM
I don't have a problem with guys wearing a jersey of whoever they want --- men asking for autographs is another story
but the bottom line is that if you're over 12 and you bring a glove to a game you are a first class, grade A DORK
Posted by: Cigar City Charlie | June 24, 2009 at 03:31 PM
How about "that guy" who wears a Bucs t-shirt and a Yankees hat to a Rays game where the Yankees aren't even playing?
GOOBER
Posted by: Cigar City Charlie | June 24, 2009 at 03:33 PM
What about a sports radio station that allows a Yankee fan to do their morning show?
Would that happen in any other major market?
Posted by: Joe Sixpack | June 24, 2009 at 03:39 PM
Idiots who yell [Insert team name] suck! over and over and over while leaving RJ after a Bucs game should be banned from attending pro football games for life. First, it is not even a little bit original-I hear it every game. Second, I take my daughter to the games and I don't want some jerk yelling four letter words in her ear.
Posted by: Bill from Seminole | June 24, 2009 at 08:58 PM
Wrong Season: how is wearing an Indians jersey if you're at a Rays vs Redsox game wrong? What if you're just a fan of baseball? People that complain about this are silly. I would think that it's better than the knucklehead who goes to the game wearing a pink Polo. Leave that to the owners of the Bucs.
Act like a grown-up: this may be the dumbest complaint yet. I guess the parents of the Weaver boys had no right wearing their jersey's either huh? What if you know the person, what if you just like what a player stands for? You try finding an old throwback jersey if you're 50 years old. You'll pay thru the nose for a Stan Musial jersey. This one is silly
Hello, idiot: The only people who complain about this are the people who can't afford to pay for the seats these goof balls sit in. I for one can't either. Now if you were lucky enough to get your big butt in one of these, you'd sure as pie be calling home telling them "look at me, I'm behind home plate" and when grandma says she can't see which one you are, you know you'd be the hypocrite waiving at her.
Posted by: Alternajock33 | June 24, 2009 at 11:09 PM
O' yeah, I forgot about the glove comment. Why wouldn't someone bring a glove to the game? If I am in the outfield and a homer is hit, I want to catch that ball. Am I less of a man for using a glove? I guess the players are silly for using them then. Try stopping a foul ball from cracking the old lady next to you with your bare hand, I'm sure the team won't pay for your broken wrist..... or her face because you didn't bring your glove.
Posted by: Alternajock33 | June 24, 2009 at 11:14 PM
I believe that referring to a race car driver as an athlete needs to be removed from sports. I have been told that the "sport" is mentally grueling. Well then if "mentally grueling" qualifies a person as an athlete, I guess that a neurologist performing brain surgery on a 3 year old should be nominated for an ESPY.
Posted by: Jen | June 25, 2009 at 10:30 AM
IN RESPONSE TO PETE:
I stand for the majority of the game and when some Florida bumpkin says to me, "Why don't you sit down?" my patented response is "Why don't you STAND UP?" If you want to sit and lounge around stay home! I go to a game to get involved and be a part of the atmosphere. If I wanted to sit and scratch myself, I wouldn't have forked over the cash for tickets, parking, and concessions.
Hey Pete... the reason it SEEMS that the "standers" are always in front of you is because you are in the MINORITY.
Posted by: Adam | June 25, 2009 at 04:20 PM
Its not so much people standing, its the getting up and down every single play. I am willing to stand the whole game, but I am nonplussed when the person in front of me sits down for 20 seconds between pitches, then leaps out of the seat at the pitcher's release point, only to obscure my view of the batters box.
Triple so if you are the annoying lady in front of me in section 124 of the Trop who actually believes that a standard ground ball will result in anything other than an out.
Posted by: Alex | June 25, 2009 at 05:44 PM
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Posted by: Daya | June 26, 2009 at 08:50 AM
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Posted by: Daya | June 26, 2009 at 08:51 AM
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Posted by: Cricket Updates | June 26, 2009 at 08:52 AM
I find it pretty ridiculous that we now have nothing else to worry about than to be annoyed with the number on the back of someone's jersey! Now apparently that means that the 2 jerseys I own for my favorite sports teams have to be thrown out because I am "too old" to wear them...I am 27 and yet too old to wear the jerseys that I own!? Please! So what happens to a player with the number 1 or 2? According to your logic, their jerseys might as well not even be made because a 1 or 2 year old is not going to wear an adult size jersey! Wow!! You must have a lot of time on your hands! I can't wait to keep spreading this ridiculous opinion around just to see the look on people's faces when they realize what an idiotic statement it is!
Posted by: AnnoyedFan | June 29, 2009 at 11:47 PM
Also, you must mean that someone in their 60's or 70's who is a fan basically cannot show their support for the current players on the team because most all of them will probably have a number lower than that!?
Posted by: AnnoyedFan | June 29, 2009 at 11:50 PM
Wow. Annoyed Fan. You just don't get it, do you? It's not that you can't wear an actual NUMBER younger than you, you just can't wear a player's JERSEY who is younger than you.
Joe Dimaggio wore #5. A 70-yr old can wear that b/c he's younger than Dimaggio. It's not that only one, two, three, and four-year olds can wear it. Geesh.
Posted by: CAB | June 30, 2009 at 05:41 AM
Duuude!! You hit on two things I've posted on Bucs bulletin boards that annoy the HECK out of me.
First, I hate cell-phone guy. Every time, every game, any sport. If the camera is on them, they are waving. Man that gets old.
And the Verizon commercial where all the sprinkles are poured onto the counter. Not sure if the commercial itself is so annoying. It's rather pedestrian. But it's played SO much that I literally turn the channel when it comes on.
Great article!
Posted by: CAB | June 30, 2009 at 05:42 AM
Yes, I am sick and tired of the pious press and fans that are so "concerned" about an inner-city kid's academics as it relates to college basketball and football. I never knew you guys cared so much and that your heart bled when they didn't graduate. Riiiiight.
Posted by: Tony | June 30, 2009 at 05:53 AM
The 4 Letter Network Needs to Stop.
Please stop with the ESPY awards. At the start it was something new, but come on. Stop promoting yourself. I only watch 2 shows other than sports on that channel, Baseball Tonight (which has gotten worse since they started putting on former players) and College Game Day (best pregame show of any sport).
The 4 letter network needs to stop turning into MTV. Remember when videos were shown, now it is trash TV. You have started during into that. Stop making up topics (like "Who's Now"), and report on sports, without arguing like it is crossfire on CNN. Your old writers that have no clue how to play games argue on like 4 different shows, and it is getting old.
Posted by: Mark | June 30, 2009 at 09:08 AM
Oh boy! Berman and Morgan? You nailed it JVNootz. They're pompous blowhards who love to hear themselves talk. Or in Berman's case, SCREAM! I'd make ESPN delay any Yankee talk until the end of the show, after full-contact tiddlywinks. NASCAR? Not a sport. Why is there an Around the Horn? I hate, yes hate, the following inane terms used by sportscasters: prototypical, rumblin' bumblin', grand slam home run, I'm Stewart Scott, Brett Favre, no-hitter through six, and last but not the least hated, trickeration.
Finally, eliminate most of the vapid twerps on Sportscenter (we get it, you're sooo cute and clever, but I really couldn't hear what you just said pinhead). Thanks Tom, I feel much much better. Diatribe over.
Posted by: bill | June 30, 2009 at 09:32 AM