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Every week for six months, tbt* asked its loyal readers to vote on their favorite bars, restaurants, personalities and attractions in Tampa Bay. And now we've compiled the winners into this collection of 25 ultimate choices. Check out our special guide! Also check out our Ultimate Bartender, Coyote Ugly's Marcie.
Let's all lift a glass to the winner of last week's poll, Ultimate Specialty Drink: The Italian Chocolate Kiss Martini at Bernini in Ybor City, which is almost as fun to say as it is to drink. Italy, chocolate, kisses, martinis, Bernini, Ybor -- there is nothing not to like about that winner. Scroll on down for the complete results.
And now, there's only one thing left for you guys to do: Vote for Tampa Bay's Ultimate Bartender. Technically, you could have been doing this all along, as this contest has been up and running for quite some time now. Head to http://www.beacovermodel.com/ and vote for the Ultimate Bartender in all of Tampa Bay. Heck, nominate yourself if you want. Just do it quickly, because the voting ends at midnight on Sunday, June 24.
Once we have a winner, it'll be time for...
TBT*'S ULTIMATE GUIDE TO TAMPA BAY!!!
Next Friday, June 29, we'll be compiling the winners of every single Ultimate poll we've published here over the past six months. We will have reviews, results, recaps, photos and interviews with some of the winners in all of our polls. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll cringe, you'll wonder what time Transformers opens next week, you'll turn to the movie listings, you'll forget about the Ultimate Guide, you'll leave the issue in the back seat of your car for a couple of weeks, you'll remember it's there sometime in August, and you'll continue reading, as if you never went away. (Caution: Actual future may vary.)
Of course, you the astute reader of the Ultimate Blog, already knows who won each category, because we've been posting each week's results here all along. But don't tell anyone! Knowledge is a gift -- nay, a privelage -- and we must use it for the betterment of society. (You can also astound your friends by correctly predicting the winner of each category BEFORE the issue comes out.)
Thank you for joining us here in this spot each week. We will miss you. As our parting gift to you, please feel free to cast a vote in the poll on the right. The results won't be included in our Ultimate Guide to Tampa Bay, but we feel the poll presents a valuable service to humanity nonetheless.
Ciao!
We are kind people who love a good cannoli, so we will not make a gigantic deal out of what appears to be a highly suspicous vote tally on the part of Mazzaro's Italian Market in St. Petersburg. Thanks to a herculean push over the last couple of days, Mazzaro's cannoli moved into the top spot in the vote for Tampa Bay's Ultimate Dessert, by a wide, wide margin. We feel a shout-out must be shouted for the cupcakes at Alessi Bakery, who, we feel, achieved their early (and healthy) lead without the use of performance-enhancing clicks. Nonetheless, we have absolutely no qualms with the choice of Mazzaro's cannoli as Tampa Bay's Ultimate Dessert, so bon apetit.
This week's category is for all the lushes in the house: What is Tampa Bay's Ultimate Specialty Drink? It would be impossible to nominate every tall drink o' awesomeness and cute and colorful shot invented at Tampa Bay bars, but these five cocktails represent some of the best, from the sophisticated to the childlike to the whimsical. Vote in the poll on your right, or text the appropriate keyword (in parentheses) to 78274. (Standard text messaging rates apply.)
The Cosmonaut at Czar in Ybor City: A stellar shot reveals three stratosphere in its tiny tumbler: purple on the bottom, a thin red line in the middle and clear liquor on top. Made with Chambord liqueur, a tiny bit of Tabasco and Bang vodka. 1430 E Seventh Ave., Ybor City, (813) 247-2664. (Keyword: Ultimate Drink1)
The Original Hawaiian Martini at Roy's in Tampa: The restaurant that made Hawaiian fusion an art form serves equally formidable, if pricey cocktails. Namesake chef Roy Yamaguchi claims his restaurant invented this drink. It includes Maui pineapples infused in SKYY vodka, Stoli Vanil Vodka and Malibu Coconut Rum, shaken and served with a fresh pineapple. 4342 W Boy Scout Blvd., Tampa, (813) 873-7697. (Ultimate Drink2)
The Bomb Pop at Pegasus Lounge in Tampa: The dive bar that fills up each week with tattooed bikers, punk rockers and USF students features a signature drink that will take you back to hot childhood days waiting for the ice cream truck. The red-white-and-blue-layered cocktail, made with Grenadine, Absolut Citron and Curacao, comes in a martini glass. 10008 N 30th St., Tampa, (813) 971-1679. (Ultimate Drink3)
The Italian Chocolate Kiss Martini at Bernini in Ybor City: Pucker up for a tasty confection modeled after the Bacio. Unlike the much simpler milk-chocolate Hershey's Kisses, the Italian Baci have hazelnuts, dark and light chocolate flavors -- and a romantic fortune inside the wrapper written in four languages. Bernini's romances us with a beverage version of Ketel One vodka, Godiva white and dark liqueurs and Frangelico. 1702 E Seventh Ave., Ybor City, (813) 248-0099. (Ultimate Drink4)
The Champagne Sangria at Ceviche in Tampa/St. Petersburg: You can order Sangria at Latin restaurants throughout Tampa Bay, but Ceviche does it best. Step it up a notch with Champagne -- sinfully spritzy refreshment. Ole! Two locations: 2109 Bayshore Blvd., Tampa, (813) 250-0203; and 10 Beach Drive SE, St. Petersburg, (727) 209 2302. (Ultimate Drink5)
Every time you vote, do a shot. Unless you work for Mazzaro's. Vote!
***UPDATE!!!***
Bottoms up, you guys. The winner of Tampa Bay's Ultimate Specialty Drink is: The Italian Chocolate Kiss Martini at Bernini in Ybor City. Delish. The complete results:
The Italian Chocolate Kiss Martini at Bernini in Ybor City: 42%
The Original Hawaiian Martini at Roy's in Tampa: 25%
The Champagne Sangria at Ceviche in Tampa/St. Pete: 21%
Other: 13%
The Cosmonaut at Czar in Tampa: 0%
The Bomb Pop at Pegasus Lounge in Tampa: 0%
The results are in, and you penny-pinching beach bums have given us all a poll to remember. Ricky T's in Treasure Island and St. Pete Beach is the place to get Tampa Bay's Ultimate Cheap Beach Eats. As good as the food is, the vote is also a fond tribute to Rick Taylor, Ricky T's namesake, who passed away in March. Taylor's spirit lives on, and Ricky T's is still kicking. We have no qualms naming this place the home of Tampa Bay's Ultimate Cheap Beach Eats.
For this week's poll, we ask the age-old question: What do you eat AFTER dinner? The answer, obviously, is dessert. We're not morons. But what is Tampa Bay's Ultimate Dessert? For there can be only one top dessert, one greatest cake, one ice cream of the crop, one key sublime pie, one flan finale, one Ring Ding to rule them all, and if we make one more stupid dessert-related pun we'll probably be fired without severance pay. (Okay, one more: We're looking for a few good blintzes.) Here are our nominees for Tampa Bay's Ultimate Dessert. Vote in the poll on your right, or text the appropriate keyword (in parentheses) to 78247. (Standard text messaging rates apply.)
The cupcakes at Alessi Bakery in Tampa: The softball-sized, cream-filled, icing-slathered, fruit-topped mounds of decadence at this Tampa institution are so enormous, you could almost fill up on the generous samples alone. 2909 W Cypress St., (813) 879-4544. (Keyword: Ultimate Desserts1)
The Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate at Bern's Steak House: We'll let the menu do the talking: "Layers of our chocolate cheese pie, chocolate cheesecake with a white chocolate center, and milk chocolate mousse on a dense chocolate crust." Any questions? 1208 S Howard Ave. (813) 251-2421. (Ultimate Desserts2)
The Ciotala Granda at La Casa Dolce in Tampa: Gelaterias are all the rage in Tampa Bay, but none have a dessert like the Ciotala Granda. For $14.90, you get a chocolate sheet cake topped with 15-20 scoops of smooth gelato -- enough to try more than half the store's flavors. It's recommended for parties of 2-4. 406 S Howard Ave., (813) 259-0002. (Ultimate Desserts3)
The strawberry shortcake at Parkesdale Farm Market in Plant City: The Strawberry Festival is mnths away, but you can still head out to the country for a bowl of sugary goodness starring Florida's other favorite fruit. If Plant City's out of your reach, try Collins Produce at 2810 State Road 60 in Valrico. Parkesdale: 3702 U.S. 92 W, Plant City, (813) 752-0502. (Ultimate Desserts4)
The cannoli at Mazzaro's Italian Market in St. Petersburg: True paisani know Mazzaro's, not your supermarket deli counter, is the place to go for a robust Italian cannoli. Have some coffee and biscotti while y ou're there. 2909 22nd Ave. N, (727) 321-2400. (Ultimate Desserts5)
Every week, this poll makes us hungry. Go vote, so we can eat!
***UPDATE!!!***
The votes are in. It would seem our winner, Mazzaro's stuffed the proverbial ballot box, so do pay attention to the second-place finisher as well. Like the cannoli at Mazzaro's, the cupcakes at Alessi Bakery are delicious.
The cannoli at Mazzaro's Italian Market, St. Petersburg: 83%
The cupcakes at Alessi Bakery in Tampa: 10%
The strawberry shortcake at Parkesdale Farm Market in Plant City: 2% (Percentage points ahead of the next two.)
The Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate at Bern's in Tampa: 2% (percentage points ahead of the next one.)
Other: 2%
The Ciatola Granda at La Casa Dolce: 1%
The results are in, and with a resounding "Ahhhh," and a definitive "Cooooo," and an ear-splitting "Yawn," the winner in the category of Tampa Bay's Ultimate Spa is: The Spa at the Belleview Biltmore Hotel and Resort in Clearwater. On the one hand, we're not surprised--this place is swanky with a capital SWANK, and nothing's more relaxing than the possibility you might pass Hulk Hogan on your drive there. (He lives nearby.) On the other, we happen to know for a FACT!!! that the Belleview Biltmore is haunted. (Or, as we were raised to say, "hainted.") Ghosts supposedly dwell in the 110-year-old resort to this very day, and the thought of glancing down at your pedicurist and seeing the girl from The Ring doesn't exactly strike us as a stress-killer. Still, you have spoken (possibly from beyond the grave!), and we are bound to acknoledge the facts: The Belleview Biltmore is far and away Tampa Bay's Ultimate Spa. (Complete results in the next post.)
This week's poll coincides with the impending start of summer: Where's the best place in Tampa Bay to get cheap food at the beach? Sure, your four-star, five-diamond, six-course, seven-Alka-Seltzer seafood restaurants are nice for special occasions, but where do you go when you just want a bite without breaking the bank? You go to one of these places, our choices for Tampa Bay's Ultimate Cheap Beach Eats:
Dockside Dave's, Madiera Beach/St. Pete Beach: What once was a down-home dive now thrives in shiny new locations in John's Pass Village and on St. Pete Beach. Either way, you're bound to get some of the finest, freshest grouper sandwiches up and down Gulf Boulevard. 119 Boardwalk Place W (John's Pass), Madiera Beach, (727) 392-9399; 7141 Gulf Blvd., St. Pete Beach, (727) 360-4200.
Frenchy's, Clearwater Beach: Yo can get filling entrees at any of Frenchy's crowded Clearwater Beach locations, but the fresh, inexpensive sandwiches are just as good. The live music and right-on-the-beach setting of Frenchy's Rockaway Grill don't hurt, either. Several locations; www.frenchysonline.com.
Keegan's Seafood Grille, Indian Rocks Beach: Consider the amberjack, one of the many fresh fish this jam-packed hole in the wall brings in each day. You can also find grouper, mahi mahi and Jamaican jerk chicken sandwiches. 1519 Gulf Blvd., (727) 596-2477.
Ricky T's, Treasure Island/St. Pete Beach: Owner Rick Taylor passed away in March, but the good eats and laid-back beach-party vibe live on at both his St. Pete Beach sports bar and his flagship Treasure Island location. 6100 Gulf Blvd., St. Pete Beach, (727) 360-4574; 10601 Gulf Blvd., Treasure Island, (727) 367-7425.
Vito and Michael's Gourmet Pizzeria Restaurant, St. Pete Beach: We're cheating a bit here -- Vito and Michael's is a few blocks from the beach. But with $1 slices at lunch and a kitchen that stays open until 3 a.m., we'll make an exception. The Devil Rays' Rocco Baldelli is a big fan. 7704 Blind Pass Road, (727) 360-3658
If you love the beach, but always end up pumping all your money into a parking meter, head to the right and vote! Or you can vote via text message (standard rates and fees apply). To vote for ______, text ______ to 78247:
Dockside Dave's: Ultimate Eats1
Frenchy's: Ultimate Eats2
Keegan's: Ultimate Eats3
Ricky T's: Ultimate Eats4
Vito and Michael's: Ultimate Eats5
***UPDATE!!!***
You penny-pinching beach bums have picked a winner: Ricky T's in Treasure Island and St. Pete Beach. The complete results:
Ricky T's, Treasure Island/St. Pete Beach: 62%
Frenchy's, Clearwater Beach: 21%
Dockside Dave's, Madiera Beach/St. Pete Beach: 8%
Other: 6% (The Wharf in St. Pete Beach was the only place to get more than one vote.)
Keegan's Seafood Grille, Indian Rocks Beach: 3%
Vito & Michael's Gourmet Pizzeria and Restaurant, St. Pete Beach: 2%
It is clear, in the wake of last week's vote on Tampa Bay's Ultimate Tourist Spots, that you are all a bunch of hopeless romantics. (Well, not all of you. Among the write-in candidates were votes for "WHAT!?!" and "not sure why anyone would want to come here on vacay".) The winner of the poll was Sunken Gardens, St. Petersburg's time-capsule tribute to the state's natural beauty. We are heartened (full of heart?) by this outcome, as it calls to mind the days of yore, when families still donned full-length bathing suits, drove to the great Sunshine State while keeping foil-wrapped turkey sandwiches warm under the hood of their wood-paneled station wagon, and tossed words like "yore" into everyday conversation. We miss those days, even though we are technically just old enough to cogently remember only three presidents. But still! Congratulations to Sunken Gardens. It's about time we realized how lucky we are to have you. (Scroll down for the complete results.)
Now, pardon us while we slip into something a little more comfortable, and a lot more relaxing, and just a smidge more affluent. This week's category is Tampa Bay's Ultimate Spa, and trust us, there are plenty of choices out there. The next time you want to slip on a fluffy white robe and enjoy an ergometric ashiatsu Swedish hot-stone oatmeal seaweed mud-bath foot massage, head to one of these five establishements, our choices for the Top 5 Spas in Tampa Bay:
Awa, Tampa: Located in a remodeled house, this comfortable spa entices guests with treatment names like "papaya enzyme body souffle" and "Japanese body brushing." Guys will be drawn to masculine-sounding treatments like the "men's sport pedicure" and "gentlemen's deep cleansing facial." 5820 S MacDill Ave., (813) 902-1904, www.awaspa.com
The Spa at the Belleview Biltmore Hotel and Resort, Clearwater: The Biltmore has a grand history and a grandiose indoor pool to match. While at the spa, you can have your feet treated with Chardonnay or your entire body sprinkled with gold dust. They'll even shampoo your dog and brush his teeth while you unwind. 25 Belleview Blvd., (727) 443-6424, www.belleviewbiltmore.com.
The Spa at the Don CeSar, St. Pete Beach: The more unique treatments include beachfront massages, mineral wraps, couples' massage lessons and private yoga lessons. And leave it to the Don to take things to the next level by offering "head-to-paw" massages for man's best friend. 3400 Gulf Blvd., (727) 360-1881, www.doncesar.com
Tranquility Day Spa, St. Petersburg: The name says it all. This downtown spa's decor is as indulgent as its services, which include ashiatsu massage therapy. The therapist hangs from an overhead bar and works out your tension using his or her feet. 149 Second St. N, (727) 898-7800, www.tranquility-day-spa.com.
Safety Harbor Resort and Spa, Safety Harbor: Known as the place "where healing waters flow," this Aveda concept spa features natural mineral springs. Rosemary mint body wrap, anyone? 105 N Bayshore Drive, (727) 726-1161, www.safetyharborspa.com.
You can, as always vote in the poll on the right. OR!!! You can, starting this week, text-message your vote to us. (After all, you don't want your text-voting skills to go to waste during the wait for the next season of American Idol.) Get those thumbs ready, and send the appropriate message to 78247:
Awa, Tampa: Ultimate Spa1
The Spa at the Belleview Biltmore Hotel and Resort, Clearwater: Ultimate Spa2
The Spa at the Don CeSar, St. Pete Beach: Ultimate Spa3
Tranquility Day Spa, St. Petersburg: Ultimate Spa4
Safety Harbor Resort and Spa, Safety Harbor: Ultimate Spa5
In each keyword, there is no space between "spa" and the number. Standard text messaging rates apply. Let's do this! Go, team, go!
***UPDATE!!!***
The soothing, relaxing winner: The Spa at the Belleview Biltmore Hotel and Resort in Clearwater. The complete results:
The Spa at the Belleview Biltmore Hotel and Resort, Clearwater: 71%
Tranquility Day Spa, St. Petersburg: 8%
Awa, Tampa: 7%
The Spa at the Don CeSar, St. Pete Beach: 5%
Other: 5% (Glow Day Spa in Tampa and Body Rock at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino both received multiple votes.)
Safety Harbor Resort and Spa, Safety Harbor: 4%
Fore!
Actually, it was more like thirty-seven. That's the percentage of votes received by the TPC of Tampa Bay in last week's poll, Tampa Bay's Ultimate Public Golf Course. And if you think THAT pun was bad, consider yourself lucky we didn't try to make a joke about ball-washing. Hi-yo! (Forced, anemic rimshot.) We could offer a Caddyshack quote to celebrate TPC of Tampa Bay's victory, but frankly, the whole Caddyshack-quote thing has been done to death. (See: Last week's blog entry.) So instead, we'll quote Happy Gilmore: "Some might call it luck. I'd call it ... well, luck I guess. So what." That's the best we got. Join us next week for our master class in quotes from The Legend of Bagger Vance! (Scroll down for the complete results. In the meantime, will someone please tell us why Hollywood hasn't made more good golf movies? We were racking our brains there for a minute.)
This week's poll deals with a topic that should be near and dear to the hearts of every Floridian: Tourist Spots. Tact prevents us from calling them "Tourist Traps," as we do not wish to offend any of these fine establishments, sponge dioramas and roadside doo-dads. The best tourist spots generally fall under one of three categories: (1) Arrangements of oversized novelty animals and/or fruit; (2) "World's Largest _____," and (3) places where you are promised free Disney tickets but never actually get them. Here's the best we have to offer in the Tampa Bay area.
Cracker Country, Tampa: Gather 'round the ol' pickle barrel, kids, and we'll sing of a time when men whittled twigs, women rendered soap, and this testament to Florida's backwoods heritage wasn't just an exhibit at the Florida State Fair. www.floridastatefair.com/cracker
Dinosaur World, Plant City: When you drive to Orlando, you can't avoid swiveling your head at the life-size plaster stegos, brontos and T-Rexes plunked in the heart of -- why not? -- good old Plant City. www.dinoworld.net
Spongeorama, Tarpon Springs: We'll admit, we're suckers for any attraction bearing the suffix "-orama." But this, er, frugal diorama-filled testament to Tarpon Springs' sponge industry is pretty historic on its own. (We were shocked -- shocked! -- to learn Spongeorama does not have a Web site. (727) 942-3771
Sunken Gardens, St. Petersburg: This St. Pete landmark used to be a tourist's dream, full of butterflies, waterfalls and tropical flowers. Now -- in addition to all that other stuff -- it's where you park when you want to eat at Carrabba's. Oh, how times have changed. www.sunkengardens.org
Recyclosaurus, Tampa: We might be reaching here, as it's not exactly clear whether the Tampa Museum of Science and Industry's 30-foot tall orange mesh T.Rex filled with recyclable cans merits being called a true roadside attraction. On the other hand, it is a giant dinosaur filled with trash. The verdict: Count it! www.mosi.org
Okay, you kids stand over there. Now step just a bit to the right. Now look up. No, this way. All right. Lemme set the flash. Okay, now smile, and on the count of three, say "vote." One ... two ... three!
"VOOOOOOOOTE!"
***UPDATE!!!***
The results are in. Tampa Bay's Ultimate Tourist Spot is Sunken Gardens in St. Petersburg. Here's how you voted:
Sunken Gardens, St. Petersburg: 36%
Other: 32% (Busch Gardens received 10 votes, though in fairness, that's not really the type of tourist spot we were going for here. Clearwater Beach, Channelside and the Citrus Museum in Dade City also received votes.)
Spongeorama, Tarpon Springs: 13%
Dinosaur World, Plant City: 9%
Cracker Country, Tampa: 6%
Recyclosaurus, Tampa: 4%
Did you know that anyone who sings "Happy Birthday" in a film or TV show is required to pay a hefty usage fee to the people who own the copyright to the song? What a bunch of jerks.
Which leads us to last week's winner in the category of Ultimate Adult-Friendly Kids' Parties. Your winner -- and we must say we concur -- is Fort De Soto Park in Tierra Verde. In an age in which Wii boxing is more popular than actual boxing, we must say we are pleased than anyone would choose to drag their kids out into the middle of the wilderness to celebrate their birthday in an exercise-friendly outdoors environment. Unless the people who voted are the same people who want to convert part of Fort De Soto into a nudist beach; then it's just creepy. Either way: Congrats, Fort De Soto! You are truly one of America's winners, and we salute you for it. Scroll on down for the complete results.
This week's category: What is Tampa Bay's Ultimate Public Golf Course? None of that hoity-toity Bushwood Country Club nonsense for us. We like courses on which you can spit-shine your ball with a sip of Old Milwaukee. Not that we would dare insinuate any of these five fine candidates encourage GUIs (Golfing Under the Influence). Here are our choices:
Babe Zaharias Golf Course, Tampa: A makeover in 2004 helped return this historic course -- it was once owned by its legendary namesake -- to its former glory. www.babezahariasgc.com
The Claw at USF, Tampa: The University of South Florida's home course got its Bond-villain name from the dastardly 493-yard 14th hole. Fun fact: John Travolta filmed scenes from The Punisher here.
Mangrove Bay Golf Course, St. Petersburg: It's one of Tampa Bay's busiest public courses, and with good reason -- Golf Digest has called it one of the best 50 public courses in the nation. (727) 893-7800
Rogers Park Golf Course, Tampa: This challenging but championship-caliber course hosts the city of Tampa's annual amateur medal championship. www.rogersparkgc.com
TPC of Tampa Bay, Lutz: A round at the Tournament Players Club course in Lutz isn't cheap -- rates peak at $159 -- but where else can you play on the same course as legends like Nick Price, Mark O'Meara and, er, Bill Murray? The TPC is home to the annual Outback Steakhouse Pro-Am. www.tpc.com/tampa_bay
Na na na na na na na na na na na na...
Vote.
***UPDATE!!!***
Fore! We have a winner. And it is the TPC of Tampa Bay in Lutz. which mounted a comeback win over the runner-up. The complete results:
TPC of Tampa Bay, Lutz: 37%
The Claw at USF, Tampa: 29%
Mangrove Bay Golf Course, St. Petersburg: 20%
Other: 9% (no course got more than one vote)
Tie: Babe Zaharias Golf Course and Rogers Park Golf Course, both in Tampa: 3%
Pardon our patented hilarious spit take -- sploo! -- while we gape agog at this week's voter turnout. You espresso-addled bean fiends are to be congratulated! More votes were cast this week than in any other recent poll. And while we think our double half-caf latte has been sprinkled with a dusting of extra votes, for once we will not chide you. No chiding! Instead, we'll simply announce the winner in the category of Tampa Bay's Ultimate Indie Coffeehouse: Cafe Bohemia in St. Petersburg. It was a two-donkey race (ed note: if that's meant to be a Juan Valdez joke, it SO doesn't work) between Cafe Bohemia and the Globe, so St. Pete cuppaholics, it seems, really know their stuff. Next time, get on the trolley, Tampans! Complete vote totals are below, in the next post.
This week's question: Where are Tampa Bay's Ultimate Adult-Friendly Kids' Parties? We are thinking specifically of birthday parties, those awkward gatherings in which hordes of bored parents mill about uncomfortably while their children administer purple nurples to one another by the Skee-Ball machines. Good times! Here, though, are five places where adults can have just as much fun as the kiddies (purple nurples excluded, of course). The finalists:
Lowry Park Zoo, Tampa: Because you never outgrow giggling at monkey butts. Parties start at $185 for 10 participants. 1101 W Sligh Ave., (813) 935-8552 ext. 232.
Splitsville, Tampa: Since few kid venues have a martini menu, this retro hipster bowling alley makes the cut. $250 for 12 kids. 615 Channelside Drive, (813) 514-2695.
Largo Central Park, Largo: This park offers train parties. The best part is how the party gets quiet every 10 minutes while the choo-choo ferries dozens of kids around the rolling grounds and fountains of this lush 70-acre park. Great playground, too. 101 Central Park Drive; call (727) 586-7415 at least six months in advance. It's $35 for the shelter and the train is $100 an hour.
Florida Aquarium, Tampa: There are six different packages, from a water-splash party in the wet zone to a guided tour of the aquarium. Either way, the kids are entertained while the adults either join in the fun or relax in the tiki bar. Parties start at $250 for non-members. 701 Channelside Drive, (813) 273-4015.
Fort De Soto Park, Tierra Verde: Keep it simple, folks. Fresh air and a great public park's playground and beach is all kids need. And the price -- free -- can't be beat. Call (727) 582 2267 to reserve a shelter; ask for Nos. 4, 5 and 9 for playground access on North Beach or Nos. 13-15 on East Beach.
Go, voters. It's your birthday. We're going to party like it's your birthday. We're going to sip Bacardi like it's your birthday. And, you know, we don't give a f--- it's not your birthday. (Ed. note: Isn't that a little inappropriate for a post about kids' birthdays?) Vote!
***UPDATE!!!***
Did you know that if you sing "Happy Birthday" in a film or TV show, you have to pay a pricey royalty to the people who own the copyright to the song? What a bunch of jerks. Anyway, we have our results! The winner of Tampa Bay's Ultimate Adult-Friendly Kids' Parties is Fort De Soto Park. The complete results:
Fort De Soto Park, Tierra Verde: 40%
Tie: Lowry Park Zoo and Splitsville, Tampa: 25%
Florida Aquarium, Tampa: 10%
Tie: Largo Central Park, Largo; and, um, "other": 0%
Apologies for the late update to this most Ultimate of blogs, but we were both too (1.) jacked up on coffee and (2.) stuffed full of hot dogs to post this week's update yesterday evening. Needless to say: Hot dog, we have a weiner! Mel's Hot Dogs in Tampa boasts Tampa Bay's Ultimate Weenies. We cannot say we are surprised. Congratulations, Mel! You are one of this nation's foremost Lords of (Hot)Dogtown. (Polite, chili-stained applause.) Scroll down for the complete results.
As foreshadowed earlier -- see, our English degree isn't going to waste! -- this week's category deals with coffee. What is Tampa Bay's Ultimate Indie Coffeehouse? We're not interested in the joe cupped out at Starbucks or Dunkin' Donuts or (our personal favorite) 7-Eleven. Rather, we want kooky baristas lobbing double-strength half-caf-caramochalatte espressos with shots of hazelnut and amaretto with the slightest dustings of cinnamon, powdered sugar, and angel dust. (We tend to fuel up at some pretty sketchy bodegas.) Here are five of our favorites. What's yours?
Bean There, Tampa: With ginormous muffins and cozy booths, Bean There has been a South Tampa meeting spot for years. If you get hungry, Cappy's Pizza is right across the street. 3203 Bay to Bay Blvd., (813) 837-7022
Cafe Bohemia, St. Petersburg: This artsy enclave is loaded with delicious sweets and reading materials, and it hosts the occasional art exhibit and reading. 937 Central Ave., (727) 895-4495
Cafe Denali, Ybor City: Ybor City was built on cigars and strong coffee (see old-time joints La Tropicana and El Molino for proof). Coffee shop and wine bar Cafe Denali gives that spirit a 21st century twist, combining adventurous coffee in the morning wiht happening wine tastings at night. 1327 E Seventh Ave., (813) 287-9717
The Globe, St. Petersburg: Owner JoEllen Schilke has brewed a devoted fan base through the authentically funky, anything-goes vibe of her coffeehouse. 532 First Ave. N, (727)898-5282
Sacred Grounds, Tampa: To say Sacred Grounds doesn't look like much from the outside is the ultimate understatement. But the thrift-store spirit of the interior -- and the many live music shows the shop hosts -- has made it a longtime favorite of USF students. 4819 E Busch Blvd., (813) 983-0837
Personally, we'd like to try that discount coffee Marge once bought on The Simpsons: "Columbia's Shame." But we'd happily gulp down bucketfulls of mud from any of these fine establishments. Now vote!
***UPDATE!!!***
Your winner: Cafe Bohemia in St. Petersburg. The cup-is-half-full totals:
Cafe Bohemia, St. Petersburg: 68%
The Globe, St. Petersburg: 23%
Other: 3% (Java Baby in Spring Hill got two votes.)
Sacred Grounds, Tampa: 2%
Bean There, Tampa: 2% (decimal points lower than Sacred Grounds' total)
Cafe Denali, Ybor City: 1%
 Think you know the very best Tampa Bay has to offer? Well, welcome to your soapbox. Each week this year, we’ll give you a suggested Top 5 list in a specific category and invite you to vote for the winner. Don’t like our picks? No worries, you can suggest your own. We’ll run the results of that poll, plus a new one, in each weekend edition of tbt*. And if you have an idea for a category or a Top 5 nominee, drop us an e-mail at tbteditors@tampabay.com. We hope you’ll help make this your Ultimate Guide to Tampa Bay.
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